The HyperTexts

Donald Trump Nicknames
Trump Family/Friends/Associates/Lapdog Nicknames


Welcome to the largest online collection of Trump-related nicknames, puns and jokes—all completely free and without annoying ads (we too loathe pop-ups). Now you can astound your friends and confound your political foes with the perfect nicknames for every occasion! Trump nicknames range from A to Z, from Agent Orange to the Zodiac Biller. Our favorites include Putin's Puppet, Hair Hitler, Hair Fuhrer, The New Furor, Adolph Twitler, Tweety, Tsarzan, King Gorge, Conigula, Gingervitis and Dire Abby. There are "superhero" nicknames like Bratman, Stuporman, Captain Shamerica and The Super Duper. But perhaps no nickname captures the "surreal Donald Trump" better than Donald Drumpf and Drumpfkopf. You can employ your browser's search feature or use CTRL-F to find nicknames for Trump's family, friends and lapdogs such as Melanoma (Melania Trump), Proxy Wife (Ivanka Trump), Aide de Kampf (Jared Kushner), Wrongway Conway (Kellyanne Conway), Koch Addict (Mike Pompeo and Mitch McConnell), Cruella DeVile (Betsy DeVos), Paul Ruin (Paul Ryan), Detourney General (Jeff Sessions) and HUD Ornament (Ben Carson). We also have Trump family nicknames like The Brooklyn Hillbullies and Trump administration nicknames like Moscow on the Hudson, the Ogle Office and The White Supremacist House, so please prepare to be entertained!

Donald Trump is now ahead of Hillary Clinton in the polls. This was just reported in The Washington Post, and 2,000 years ago in the Book of Revelation. ― Conan O'Brien

OMG, in a single day Trump claimed to be the King of Israel, the Second Coming of God and the Chosen One!

Let's get this straight: Trump releases the Nunes memo and the stock market immediately crashes 666 points. The federal budget deficit Trump's first fiscal year was 666 billion dollars. Trump's family purchased 666 Fifth Avenue, a street symbolic of money (Mammon). The Trump Tower is 203 meters tall, or 666 feet high. On the Ides of March, the day when the Roman republic became a dictatorship, Trump had 666 delegates. He was born on a blood moon. His ancestor who started the Trump family business died on 6-6-6. Her name was Elizabeth Christ Trump. Elizabeth means "oath" or "vow" so her name literally means "vow for Christ to be trumped." Is it just me, or are we living in a real-life Omen movie?

For a YUGE slew of 666 connections, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?

Image result for trump caveman

Trump Shutdown Nicknames: Cave Man (Rush Limbaugh), Gigantic Douchebag (Ann Coulter), The Wall Nut, Where's Wall-Dough?, Blarney Rubble (Michael R. Burch)

The Top Ten Donald Trump Nicknames of All Time

(#1) THE ANTICHRIST — when the prophets spoke of the "Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking literally?
       (For a YUGE slew of 666 connections, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
(#2) Short-Fingered Vulgarian — by Graydon Carter (a nickname Trump hates because he thinks it implies that he's under-endowed "down there")
(#3) Agent Orange — by Anonymous (a lethal product of deMonsanto and DonSatan)
(#4) Golden Wrecking Ball — by Sarah Palin (who was not trying to be funny)
(#5) Fuckface von Clownstick, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole (the UNAbomber) — by Jon Stewart
(#6) The White Kanye ― by Bill Maher (or is Trump more accurately the Yellow-ish-Orange Kanye?)
(#7) Lord Voldemort, Orange Anus and Snake Oil Salesman — by Rosie O'Donnell
(#8) The Trump of Doom — by Michael R. Burch (adopted from the Bible and first used in a possibly prophetic Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
(#9) The White Pride Piper — Trump is the poster boy for the "Make AmeriKKKa Grate Again" movement of white supremacists, neo-nazis and skinheads
(#10) Man-Baby — by Jon Stewart (this one inspired an avalanche of jokes and similar nicknames; for instance, Robert De Niro called Trump "our Baby-in-Chief")

Dis-Honorable Mention: Angry Creamsicle, Cadet Bone Spurs, Cancer in a Wig (Trevor Noah), Captain Chaos (NBC), Casino Mussolini (Samantha Bee), Cheeto Benito, Creep Throat (Seth Meyers), DEAF CON 1, Don the Con, The Teflon Con, Dictator Fan Boy Trump (Stephen Colbert), Drumpf (John Oliver), Fragile Soul (Ted Cruz), F*cking Lunatic (Aldous J. Pennyfarthing), The Gaud Father (Michael R. Burch), God (Jay Leno), Gossamer-Skinned Bully (Graydon Carter), Hydroxymoron (Jimmy Kimmel), IMPOTUS (George Conway), Incurious Gorge (Captain Sully Sullenberger), Liddle Donnie Diaperpants (Michael R. Burch), The Lyin' King, The Man of Steal (Hillary Clinton), The Ocher Abomination (Aldous J. Pennyfarthing), Orange Julius (The Nation), Racist Clementine (Trevor Noah), Rome Burning in Man Form (John Oliver), Terroristic Man-Toddler (Charles M. Blow), The Donald (Ivana Trump), Tiny Hand Sir (Stephen Colbert), Trumplethinskin, Two-Bit Caesar (Bill Kristol), Vanilla ISIS, Widdle Donny Whinydiaper (Michael R. Burch), World's Greatest Troll (Nate Silver)

SNL's Best Trump Nicknames: The Grim Reaper, Sweet Little Baby Trump and Pouty Baby Trump (Alec Baldwin), Donny and Tangerine Tornado (Dana Carvey), The White O.J. and President Grabass (Colin Jost), President Tons of Fun (Michael Che)

Trump’s press briefings have captured the world’s attention.

This picture is proof positive that Trump is Coronavirus in Human Form! ... er ... make that Coronavirus in Semi-Human Form! The virus is actually oozing from Trump's pores! Or has Trump had one too many golden showers?

Partially Sentient Spray Tan Residue
Screaming Carrot Demon (Samantha Bee)
Decomposing Jack O'Lantern (Jon Stewart)
Human-Urine Hybrid #666 (Michael R. Burch)
Urinal Explosion Byproduct #666 (Michael R. Burch)

If it looks like a Troll and sounds like a Troll and trolls like a Troll ...

image atom

Bad Shrek
Trumpenstein
Drumpfenstein
Der Trollenfuhrer

Millions of Americans have been mobilized in peaceful marches across the nation to protest Tiny Man Trump's creation of a Tiny Man Square in the heart of the American capitol.

Bunker Boy
Bunker Baby
The Tank Tot

That Trump tank meme on Cesar Sayoc's van was made as a joke ...

Generalissimo Trump
Tyrant Trump
The Pretend President

In the middle of the coronavirus pandemic, with more than 100,000 Americans dead and the death toll rising inexorably every day, Generalissimo Trump ordered rubber bullets, flash grenades and tear gas to be fired at peaceful protesters so that he could have his freakin' picture taken like a third world dictator! This was a ploy so foul even Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci objected, tweeting: "Trump fired tear gas and rubber bullets on peaceful protesters so he could get a photo op in front a church that didn't want him there, holding a Bible from which he cannot name a single verse, all to prove he's not a coward hiding in his bunker again. A perfect encapsulation [of Trump being Trump]." The church's bishop accused Trump of using it as a "prop." Don Lemon called Trump a Pretend President for posing with a Bible he has obviously never read, much less attempted to live by. Meanwhile, Tyrant Trump threatened to "dominate the streets." Is this the last episode of Celebrity Apprentice President before the abysmal show gets canceled permanently?



Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper
Bratman
Stuporman
Captain Shamerica
Don the Con
The Teflon Con

Now the Bunker Boy — make that Bunker Baby whines that he was just "inspecting" the White House bunker. But if Melania and Barron were with him, it obviously wasn't an "inspection." So which is it, Captain Shamerica? Did you cower in the bunker by yourself, like an abject coward, leaving your wife and child to fend for themselves? Or did you take them with you, meaning it was no inspection? Either way you are unfit for office.

Don the Con is killing Americans with his lies and ignorance:

Trump lied and lied and lied.
Americans died and died and died.
―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

But the Teflon Con's protective undercoating is wearing thin, as his polls drop with every lie he tells about the "perfect" job he's done while being "totally in control" of the coronavirus.

General James Mattis, a former Secretary of Defense, called Trump what he so obviously is: an Immature Man-Baby who plays at being president. Admiral Michael Mullen, a former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said he was "sickened" to see the American military used for a cheap photo-op by Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper. Leon Panetta, a former Secretary of Defense and CIA Director who served under nine presidents, called the self-alleged "wartime" president AWOL for disappearing during a national crisis to play golf, declaim about his hair and rage-tweet.

These are Trump nicknames coined by the people who know him best — his family, friends and co-workers:

Clown (
Maryanne Trump Berry, his older sister and a retired federal judge)
P. T. Barnum (Maryanne Trump Berry said her brother "is" P. T. Barnum, the con man who saw everyone else as suckers)
The World's Most Dangerous Man-Baby (Mary Trump)
Fred Trump's Monster (Mary Trump)
Heartless (Mary Trump)

According to Mary Trump, after her father had the heart attack that would kill him, Donald Trump didn't go with him to the hospital and didn't visit him, but instead went "to the movies."

Imbecile (Steve Bannon)
Idiot (General John Kelly)
Fucking Moron (Secretary of State Rex Tillerson)
The Morbidly Obese Man-Baby (Nancy Pelosi)

That yellowish-orange corona of "hair" is a dead giveaway ...

Trump and Troll Doll collage.

Trump Coronavirus Nicknames

Hydroxymoron (Jimmy Kimmel)
Staff Infection (Stephen Colbert)
Deer in the Headlights (Joe Biden)

"When the coronavirus came, Trump froze like a deer in the headlights."—Joe Biden campaign ad

The Enabler (
Andrew Cuomo)
Donald Debacle (Andrew Cuomo)


New York Governor Andrew Cuomo blasted Trump for his ludicrous claim that 99% of coronavirus cases are "totally harmless." Cuomo accused Trump of "enabling the virus" when he "makes up facts" in deceitful attempts to deny the current crisis exists. "He is facilitating the virus," Cuomo said. "He is enabling the virus by statements like that. And you're seeing the infection rate go up, and you're seeing the economy suffer, and he is part of that current debacle that we are in."


Flat-Out Bat-Shit Nuts (Bill Maher)
Germophobic Trump (Maureen Dowd)
The Morbidly Obese Man-Baby (Nancy Pelosi)

Dangerously Delusional Donald ("To defeat the pox: quick, inject Clorox!")
The Clorox Heterodox ("To end all gridlocks, gargle with Clorox!")
The Clorox Warlock ("To reclaim the Boondocks, let them eat Clorox!")
The Clorox Fox ("Outfox the pox: kill yourself first with Clorox!")
The Lysol Tyro ("Since death is the goal, mainline Lysol!")
The Borax Lorax ("To immunize your thorax, destroy it with Borax!")
Mr. Clean ("No vaccine? Just chug Mr. Clean!")
The Bleached Peach ("Is a cure out of reach? Fumigate your lungs, with bleach!")
President Sunbeam ("Ditch the parasol and the spray tan aerosol!")
President Brain Drain ("Down the Drain-o with Old NoBrain-o!")
Batshit Crazy (Piers Morgan)

Piers Morgan, a former Trump friend and supporter, was unfollowed by Trump after Morgan called his brainstorm to inject coronavirus patients with lethal disinfectants "batshit crazy." However, it seems unfair to bats to compare their innocent feces to Trump. In his latest act of sheer imbecilic insanity, the Giddy-ot wants to paint his nonfunctional wall black, at a staggering cost, on the theory that it will be too hot to touch. Apparently Trump has never heard of an obscure thing called "night."

This sad, embarrassing wreck of a man-baby. — George F. Will



The picture above―the earliest known image of The Donald―is evidence that he was suckled in Emperor Palpatine’s romper room. Now in the American Game of Thrones, he is Donald Littlefinger, a master of lies, deceit, treachery and treason.

He's a Man-Baby. He has the physical countenance of a man, and a baby's temperament and tiny hands. ― Jon Stewart

The Best Trump Nicknames of Michael R. Burch: Little Horn, The Trump of Doom, The False Profit, The MESSiah, Gingervitis, Cheeto Magneto, Orange-Vanilla ISIS, Persimmon Satan, The Albino RINO, The Dermagogue, Baby Fingers Trump, Le Petit Prince Daisyfingers, Sir Leakalot, Sir Pissypanties, The Human Urinal, Boldfinger, Jack the Gripper, The Snatchural, The Holey Roamin' Emperor, Julius Seize Her, Seize Her Disgustus, Mark Anatomy, The Roamin' Seizer, Hair Gropenfuhrer, Der Fuhrer Feltersnatch, Feel Marshall Trump, Groper Cleave Hand, The Great Gropesby, The Great Gutsby, The Gaud Father, Conigula, Condoofus, The Wrath of Con, Con Man the Barbarian, The SillyCon Boob, Stuporman, Captain Shamerica, Optimus Grime, The Teflon Don, Felonius Punk, Rigger Mortis, The Zodiac Biller, The New York Pork Dork, Uncle Ream US, Comrade Trumputin, Putin's Gambit, Putin's Poppet, Putin's Protégé, Putin's Rasputin, Tsarzan, The Brooklyn Bolshevik, The Boychurian Candidate, The Snazzy Nazi, Hair Hitler and the Whigs, Saddam Le Pompadour, Calamity Mane, Mr. Wiggy Piggy, Genghis Can't, Genghis Con, Bling the Merciless, Ole King Coal, The Lyin' King, Foxymoron, Malice in Blunderland, The Blunderful Wizard of Ahs, Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper, Little Donnie Diaperpants, Shark Dressed Man-Boy, The Shillsbury Dough Boy, The Hypocritic Oaf, The HIPPOcratic Oaf, The Hot Air Buffoon, The Bouffant Buffoon, E Pluribus Loon 'em, Tweety Blurred, The Twitter Terror, Conway Tweety, Tweety and the Twits, POTUS WRECKS, The Hocus Pocus POTUS, TyRANTosaurus Wrecks, Tie-Rant-o-Sore-A$$ Rex, The West Wing-Nut, Demander-in-Chief, Quasi Dodo the Hunchback of Notre Shame, Sparkly Princess Trumpelina, Ronald McDonald Trump-Bozo, Bizarro Bozo, The Grate White Wail, The Grate Divider, The Grate Pretender, Alexpander the Grate, The Poll Cat, The Tirade Warrior, Mr. Freeze, the ICEman, the vICEman, Dire Abby (for his bleak relationship advice), Tribalist Trump, The Hinternationalist, Blarney Rubble, The Crow-Magnon, The News Fakir, CDC-Neutering Death Merchant, Orange Corona-ed Virus Infecting Mankind, Fearless Pleader, Typhoid Tweety, The Leaning Tower of Visa, DC Landfill, President Sunbeam, The Peach with the Bleach and a Brain out of Reach, The Bleached Peach, The Clorox Heterodox, The Clorox Warlock, The Clorox Fox, The Lysol Tyro, The Borax Lorax, Mr. Clean, Down the Drain-o with Old NoBrain-o, The Giddy-ot, The IMPerial Pleader, The Grate Wail of China, The Tulsa Trainwreck, Drumpfenstein, Der Trollenfuhrer

Image result for pelosi clap

Nancy Pelosi's "seal" of disapproval was the highlight of Trump's lie-filled, self-glorifying State of the Union Address. The Pelosi clap-back came in a meme-able moment after Trump whined about "the politics of revenge" even as he wallowed in it.

Little Donnie Two-Scoops
Donald the Menace
Felonious Punk
Whiny the Pooh
The Part-Time President

Sarah "Suckmypee" Sanders explained away Truant Trump's "executive time" as his need to have a "more creative environment." All those golf vacations are like a kindergartner's recess! Watching TV for hours on end is like Sesame Street! Shutting down the government for a month is like time out! But perhaps we're better of with a Part-Time President, considering how much damage Felonious Punk could do if he worked full-time!

According to witnesses, Little Donnie Two Scoops was delighted by roadblocks for his motorcade, exclaiming gleefully: "The roads are closed for me!"

"I have the absolute right to do national emergency if I want!" Trump insisted to reporters, sounding like a Huffy Kindergartner in need of a nice long nap. Because he whines like sleep-deprived terrible tyke, Trump is also Whiny the Pooh.

After his retirement as head nanny to Widdle Donnie Diaperpants, General John Kelly was asked what he thought about Donald the Menace being "proud" to shut down the federal government over his wall. “To be honest, it’s not a wall,” Kelly replied.

A zoomed out version of the same photograph shows Trump boarding the plane on January 2

Fragile Man
Mr. Inappropriate
The Bogeyman

Call him Fragile Man after Trump tweeted "Wasn't I a great candidate!" while the nation mourned the deaths of 17 children in the Parkland, Florida high school shooting. While visiting the devastated community Trump was photographed grinning and flashing thumbs-up signs, so call him Mr. Inappropriate. A few days later, the slaughtered students apparently forgotten, Trump hammed it up at CPAC, saying "everything is wonderful" while praising the NRA and leading cheers for the Second Amendment. Then as the frightened child survivors marched for their lives, Trump took yet another golf vacation, so call him The Bogeyman

The president has zero psychological ability to recognize empathy or pity in any way. former White House chief of staff Reince Priebus

He’s an idiot. It’s pointless to try to convince him of anything. He’s gone off the rails. We’re in Crazytown.
former White House chief of staff General John Kelly

Trump is a "terrible human being."
former White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney

Folks, this is what Trump's nannies say about him. Before Trump, the White House chief of staff was someone who respected and represented the president. With Trump the position is very different and the main goal is to try to keep him from going completely off the rails. For instance, by hiding dangerous things he intends to sign, until he forgets about them!

Image result for trump british resistance

In England the Prince of Wales met the Prince of Wails.

White House Wanker
Sex Pest
Fossil Fool
Baby Trumpkins
Prince of Wails

Scottish and British Nicknames for Trump: President Fart ("trump" is English slang for "fart"), American Idiot, sTRUMPet, Crumpet, White House Wanker, Nutless Nutter, Sex Pest, Orange Arsehole, Orange Shitgibbon, The Shamerican President, Whey-Faced Windbag, Tweeting Twat Twit, Tosser Trump, Fossil Fool, Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey (formerly reserved for the French), Gormless Gerrymanderer, Toupéed F*cktrumpet, Cockwomble, Witless Cocksplat, Diaper Don, Daft Cow, Mangy Mingebag, Feckless Lip Flapper, Mad as a Bag of Ferrets, Barmy Blowhard, Dodgy Don, Prince of Wails, Prince of Whales, Plug-Ugly Hairpiece, Chav (white trash), Numpty, Fascist Tangerine, Spoon (because he can't be trusted with a knife and fork), Witless F*cking Cocksplat, Huffy Wee F*ckin Bampot, Mangled Apricot Hellbeast, Baby Trumpkins

NOTE: After our captioned pictures of Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper, there are literally thousands of Donald Trump nicknames sorted into categories like Trump 45 Nicknames, Trump Swamp Nicknames, Immature Trump Nicknames, Senile Trump Nicknames, Trump Sexual Assault Nicknames, Trump Coloration Nicknames, Trump Hairdo (and Hair-don't) Nicknames, etc. If you're looking for something in particular, just keep scrolling down and you're sure to find it.

Q: What do you call it when a Man-Baby takes over the American government?
A: Coup d'Tot!

President Donald Trump signed bills in the  Roosevelt Room of the White House on Monday.

The Incredible Shrinking President
The Boy Blunder
The Terroristic Man-Toddler
The Boychurian Candidate
The Combover Kid

The Incredible Shrinking President uses the world's smallest pen and desk to sign his latest Dick-Tater proclamations. The women pictured are nannies beseeching the Boy Blunder to take a nap and stop bullying the world, but the Terroristic Man-Toddler will have none of that! Bratman believes in ACTION! According to former CIA Director Mike Pompeo, the mADD Man-Imp prefers his "intelligence" to be delivered with colorful pie charts, maps, pictures, videos and "killer" graphics. In other words, make military intelligence more entertaining, more exciting, more fun ― like a CARTOON! Such is the Boychurian Candidate's latest thought bubble! Fortunately the Combover Kid's undersized hands are too tiny, weak and delicate to key in the nuclear codes, but it's not for his lack of trying to destroy the world!

President Donald Trump holds up his pen after signing the Historically Black Colleges and Universities HBCU Executive Order, Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017, in the Oval Office in the White House in Washington.

The Brooklyn Brat
Boss Baby Trump
Liddle Donnie Diaperpants

Trump's nannies applaud as Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper learns to operate a safety pen with his teeny-tiny fingers. The Brooklyn Brat is certainly proud of his "big boy" accomplishment. But so far no one has been able to potty-train the Boss Baby's mouth (much less his Twitter account)! Liddle Donnie Diaperpants was very excited by his unexpected victory in the 2016 presidential election: "After I had won, everybody was calling me from all over the world! I never knew we had so many countries!" Yes, and now Superbrat can do his three favorite things at the same time: cheat at golf, lie about his golf game, and destroy the world in between putts!



The Water Boy
Diaper Don

Man-Toddler Trump holds his bottle tightly, with two undersized infant hands, to avoid spills! The septuagenarian Water Boy once belittled Marco Rubio for gulping water in public. But even Rubio the Unready was able to drink water one-handed!

The Tyrant Toddler doesn't understand that his behavior is unacceptable. For instance, like a child in his terrible twos, The Donald insisted: "I think my language is very nice."

According to George F. Will there is "no adult supervision of the Oval playpen."

General John Kelly had a simple explanation for how he became Trump's head nanny: "God punished me!"

Diaper Don has run through his nannies at a frightening pace: Steve Bannon, Reince Priebus, Rex Tillerson, John Kelly, General James Mattis ... now it's down to Scary Poppins, aka Mick Mulvaney. For now call him Nanny McFee, but the first time Mick messes up, he'll be forevermore known as Nanny Boo-Boo!

Trump is the Secret Agent Man-Baby. Presidential biographer John Meacham described Trump as a "witting, unwitting or partially witting agent of a foreign power."

To see how Trump fulfills Biblical prophecies, please click the hyperlink.



Damien Trump
Diablo
Little Horn
The Trump of Doom
The Father of Lies in the Flesh

Damien Trump
and his Stepford Wives meet Pope Francis, who is obviously uncomfortable in the presence of such Darkness and angles his cross slightly to keep them at bay!



The Big Dipper
The Shambling Sasquatch
Prima Donald
Sparkly Princess Trumpelina
The Ginger Genuflector
Idiot Abroad (Samantha Bee)
Quasi-Dodo the Hunchback of Notre Shame
Two-Faced Trump
Hippo-CRAZY
The Hissy-Fit Hypocrite
The Hypocritic Oaf

Call him Quasi-Dodo the Hunchback of Notre Shame, after Trump curtsied submissively before the Saudi king in his first official act as an American president abroad. The Big Dipper dropped a pretty little curtsey (for a Shambling Sasquatch, that is) while receiving the Gilded Collar of King Salman Abdulaziz al-Saud. This, after Two-Faced Trump had blasted President Obama for a much more dignified and reserved half-bow several years before, tweeting at the time: "Do we want a President who bows to the Saudis?" A meek little curtsey, however prettily delivered, is far less presidential than a half-bow, so let's add Hippo-CRAZY, The Hissy-Fit Hypocrite and the Hypocritic Oaf to our ever-expanding list of Trump nicknames.

Prima Donald, Sparkly Princess Trumpelina, The Ginger Genuflector, Orange O'Hara, Little Miss Teapot and Idiot Abroad (Samantha Bee). Trump loyalist and campaign adviser Roger Stone was livid about the curtsey, tweeting: "Candidly, it makes me want to puke #JaredsIdea." But was it a submissive bow, an obsequious curtsey, or both? One tweeter was happy to explain: "To be fair, first Trump bowed, then he curtsied like a Sparkly Princess!" Another tweeter adopted Trump-Speak: "Trump has all the best curtsies, nobody curtsies like Trump, everybody says so!" In a similar vein, Trump's submissive gesture was described as "one of the best and bigliest curtsies."

White House insiders have been calling the president Don Corleone and Dumb Corleone because of his mob boss mentality. His oldest son Donald Trump Jr. is Fredo (the dumb son who keeps shooting himself in the foot), while Ivanka is Michael (the smart one) and the Gaud Father's favorite. That leaves Eric Trump to be a pale, vampirish Sonny Boy.



The Top Ten Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames

Junior and Donald Dunce Jr.
Son of Drumpf
The Good Boy (Donald Trump Sr.)
Ponyboy
The Boy Blunder
Booby
Chip Off the Old Blockhead
Putin's Puppet / Puppy / Proxy / Protégé / Poodle / Lapdog
Fredo Corleone, Frito Corleone and Fraido (because like Fredo he's afraid of his father)
The Bedwetter and Diaper Don (because in college he would get drunk, pass out and wet the bed)

Please click here for all Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames



Eric Trump aka Draco Malfoy

The Top Ten Eric Trump Jr. Nicknames

Eric the Red and Eric the Brain Dead
Eric of Orange (Erich L'Orange)
Eric Idle
Qusay (Trump insiders, per Michael Wolff)
Odo (short for Malodorous)
Date Rape (Kathy Griffin)
Draco Malfoy
Sonny Corleone and Sonny-Boy
Short Bus, Douchebag von Fuckface and Thurston Shitbag the Third (Bill Maher)
Chip Off the Old Blockhead II

Please click here for all Eric Trump Nicknames

Have no fear, Acting President Jared Kushner is here! Cushy Kushner makes all the major decisions while Truant Trump tweets, poses for photo-ops, gropes women's genitals, sentences babies and grannies to death, cheats at golf, then brags about his "accomplishments" and campaigns for reelection.



We can all breathe a sigh of relief because Jarring Jarhead Kushner is at the ISIS front, using his real-estate negotiation skills to counsel our enemies and console our troops! Trump's Aide de Kampf will never rest until WWIII is well underway, and irreversible.

The Top Ten Jared Kushner Nicknames

Vanilla ISIS
Ralph Lauren of Arabia (@ChannelTrump)
Cushy Kushner and Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin on SNL)
Aide de Kampf (Michael R. Burch)

What did the President know and when did his son-in-law tell him? — Al Franken

Putin's Puppet and Putin's Protégé
Fratsputin
The Easebroker
Complete Fucking Idiot (Samantha Bee)
Little Lord Fauntleroy (Duratti on Daily Kos)
Channel 666 (Jared Kushner and his wife Ivanka Trump own the building at 666 Fifth Avenue, purchased for $1.8 billion or 6+6+6 billion)

Please click here for all Jared Kushner Nicknames

Marco Roboto hugs the First-Lady-Daughter, Ivanka Trump ... talk about uncomfortable!



The Top Ten Ivanka Trump Nicknames

Ivanka Tramp
Proxy Wife
Trophy Daughter
The First Lady-Daughter
Ivanka Wanker (I Wanna Wank Her) and Ivanka Spanker (I Wanna Spank Her)
Nordic Goddess and The Norwegian Wood Inducer
Kushner's Crush and Kushner's Cush Toy
The Favorite and The Hot One
The Smart One
I Candy

Please click here for all Ivanka Trump Nicknames

"Yay for us! We just robbed 23 million Americans of their healthcare and 53 million of protection from discrimination for preexisting conditions! We are the Winners, and who the hell cares about the losers?" (And why is Trump cheering a bill that he would later call "mean, mean, mean" in private?)

WASHINGTON, DC - MAY 04:  (L-R) U.S. President Donald Trump, Speaker of the House Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), House Majority Whip Rep. Steve Scalise (R-LA) and House Majority Leader Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) participate in a Rose Garden event May 4, 2017 at the White House in Washington, DC. The House has passed the American Health Care Act that will replace the Obama eraÕs Affordable Healthcare Act with a vote of 217-213.  (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

Mitch McConnell, the Hyperactive Death Hamster, keeps vigorously pedaling the TrumpCare wheel of doom. Mitch the Snitch wants to snatch healthcare away from millions of Americans as quickly as possible. "This is just the beginning!" he squeaked happily at the thought of so much suffering and death, "Look, we can't let this moment slip by!" Why? Because "with a surprise election comes great opportunities to do things we never thought were possible!"

IMG_2976.JPG

This is a disappointment, a disappointment indeed! I regret that our efforts [to rob 30 million Americans of decent healthcare] were simply not enough this time!―Mitch McConHell

The Top Ten Mitch McConnell Nicknames

The Turtle (Jon Stewart)
The Napping Turtle (Michael R. Burch)
Fuckface McTurtlebitch
Mitch MuckSquirtle
Shirknado (Michael R. Burch)
The Hyperactive Death Hamster
The Lethal Chipmunk
Koch Addict (Michael R. Burch)
Mitch McConHell (Michael R. Burch)
Mitch the Snitch-Bitch

Please click here for all Mitch McConnell Nicknames

Trump is Rat-Man according to the Baltimore Sun, which pointed out that it's better to have a few vermin around than to be one!

Trump is the Red Queen after crying "Off with their heads!" to the legal visitors he will kill by denying them critical life care.

Trump is the First Offender after he told 9-11 first responders that he was one of them and had been "down there" with them at ground zero. But Trump called WWOR/UPN on the day of the attack and said that he was in his luxurious penthouse watching the disaster safely from afar. During that interview Trump bragged about an "amazing" phone call in which employees told him that he now owned the tallest building in downtown Manhattan! Trump has shamelessly claimed that he was there, helping to clear rubble, not knowing "what was going to come down on all of us." But Trump was more than four miles from ground zero and didn't show up for two more days.

Trump's disrespect for a departed American war hero, John McCain, resulted in a number of new Trump nicknames and reminded us of some older ones as well: Cadet Bone Spurs, McStain, McShame, McLame, McCain's Bane, Ghost Fluster, Pathetic Man-Child (coined by Barbara Morrill after the White House had a tarp placed over the name of the USS John McCain to avoid a Trump tantrum), Fragile Man, National Disgrace, The Weakling, Deeply Disturbing Donald (the last three were coined by John McCain himself)

While speaking to a faith group, Trump said he was "very happy" that John McCain is dead. Trump also seemed to be happy with the thought that McCain might be in hell, suggesting that he had moved on to "far less green pastures."

According to Fact-Free Kayleigh McEnany the acting president of the United States is now Detourney General William Barr! McInaney said Barr issued the order to increase the White House "perimeter." But attorney generals have no such authority. So either the Slobber Baron has engineered a coup or Donald the Menace is looking for scapegoats to avoid a voter-imposed timeout.

In another "stunning" development, this one hard on the eyes, Lindsey Graham Cracker has died his hair to match his Machiavellian master's. Apparently political lapdogs also look like their owners.

According to John Bolton, Dictator Fan Boy Trump's foreign policy consists primarily of flattering and sucking up to our enemies, giving them cheap gifts, begging for their election interference and applauding them for building concentration camps.

Trump is the Tulsa Trainwreck after his much-ballyhooed political rally produced a sea of empty blue seats. Trump had a paltry 6,200 attendees, less than a third of the arena's capacity.

"The best revenge is massive success." — Frank Sinatra
"See, I can sip a small glass of water one-handed, after all! I am the GREATEST!" — Donald "Daintyfingers" Trump

Trump is the American Moses for his amazing ability to make a Red Sea of voters vanish.

Before leaving for Tulsa, Trump had bragged, “We’re going to be in Oklahoma. And it’s a crowd like, I guess, nobody’s seen before!”
Well, yes, it was very hard to see the crowd. Apparently most of them were disguised as empty blue seats.

Trump is now the Super Spreader after eight of his campaign staff and two of his Secret Service detail tested positive at the Tulsa rally. Apparently Trump only slows down testing for people he doesn't come in contact with. Such a hero! The coronavirus has also officially named Trump its BBF and Contagioner of the Month for his generous assistance in its nefarious cause.

Trump later confirmed that he was NOT joking when he said that he instructed his aides to slow down coronavirus testing: “I don’t kid. Let me just tell you. Let me make it clear.” But how is that not PREMEDITATED MURDER of every American citizen who might have been saved by testing?

Trump is Delusional Donald according to the people who know him best, including national security advisers H.R. McMaster and John Bolton, Defense Secretary James Mattis, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, and White House chief of staff John Kelly.

Even Mr. Pseudo Machismo Mike Pence is now wearing a mask in public. So much for Boss Hogg Trump's claim that the coronavirus is "dying out" and "fading away." Trump is the Fount of Unfathomable Ignorance and Pence is his Masked Mouthpiece.

Trump claims to be a "wartime president" but in reality he is Benedict Donald because he opened our ports, airports and borders to the most dangerous enemy Americans have faced in our lifetimes.

Treasonous Trump (Trump put his ego and ratings above American lives.)
Benedict Donald (Trump allowed the enemy virus to waltz into the US while claiming he had things "totally under control.")
The Leaning Tower of Visa (Michael R. Burch)
The China Sin-Drone
The Grate Wail of China
The Wuhan Conman

Trump actually thanked China for its "transparency" and for its help keeping the coronavirus "totally" under control: "On behalf of the American People, I want to thank President Xi!" This, while American intelligence officers, medical experts at the CDC and members of his White House inner circle were warning Trump that China had not revealed everything and that the coronavirus was far from "totally under control."

Don the Con
The Teflon Con (Dave Denison)
Condoofus (Michael R. Burch, a pun on Confucius)
Confusedius
Conigula
The Wrath of Con
Conman the Barbarian
Genghis Con
King Con
OptiCon
The Con-spiracy Theorist
Con-Way Tweety

It turns out that in a time of crisis a conman is not up to the task.―Rolling Stone

On the brighter side, the EPA has listed EasyDECON as an effective disinfectant for the coronavirus (outside the body, not for ingestion). In Trump's case the easy way to de-CON the United States is to vote him out in the upcoming election.

DEAF CON 1
Tone Deaf Trump
Tone Deaf Drumpf
Doctor Death
Doctor Deaf
The Prim Reaper

Thanks to Trump's handling mishandling of the coronavirus pandemic, the United States has been placed on its highest-ever state of alert: DEAF CON 1.―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

DEAF CON 1 refuses to wear a mask and mocks those who do. More than 40 million Americans have filed for unemployment over the last 10 weeks. More than 100,000 lie dead in their graves. What does Trump do? He retweets a user who says the image of Joe Biden wearing a black mask "endorses culture of silence, slavery, and social death."

According to Tone Deaf Drumpf, "A lot of good things are happening. The mortality rate is, in my opinion, ... way, way down." He said this on a day when more than 200 Americans were reported to have died, and with the US having become the world leader in confirmed coronavirus cases. Tone Deaf Drumpf insisted, "I haven't heard about testing being a problem." Every American with ears has heard about testing being a problem!

Trump boasted, "Anybody that wants a test can get a test. That's what the bottom line is." By "bottom line" Trump obviously meant he was talking out his A$$.―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

In the past Doctor Deaf insisted that the coronavirus "is the flu" andnonsensicallythat the common flu was still somehow much more dangerous. After the US became the global leader in confirmed coronavirus cases and deaths, Doctor Deaf finally changed his tune, saying: "It's not the same thing as a flu at all." But then his alter ego Doctor Death took over: "We don't want to close anything. We're not going to be closing. But we're going to be doing it beautifully, systematically." There is going to be nothing "beautiful" about reopening the country. People who return to work before there is a vaccine will not only be risking their own lives, but the lives of their children and other loved ones.

Doctor Death appeared in a briefing room with a single swab he opened with a theatrical flourish, saying: "Reagents and swabs are so easy to get!" But once again Trump was lying because he had just invoked the Defense Production Act to increase production of swabs by 20 million per month, confirming that a massive shortage exists. This move once again raised the question of why Trump leads from behind, when he leads at all. Medical experts and state governors had been warning about shortages of critical supplies for months. Doctor Death also suggested injecting patients with disinfectants, a sure way to kill them.

The Natural
The Snatchural
The Stable Genius

The self-avowed Stable Genius threatened to sue his campaign manager "Sliding Scale" Brad Parscale because his polls plummeted after Trump touted the advantages of using lethal disinfectants internally.

It's time to put the stable genius out to pasture.―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Trump claims to be The Natural. “Maybe I have a natural ability,” Trump told reporters at a press briefing in early March, alluding to his “super genius” uncle, the late MIT engineer John G. Trump. “Maybe I should have done that instead of running for president!” The Snatchural then went off to do what he does best: grab unsuspecting women by the genitals.

Donald Demagogue
Donald Dermagog
The Blunderful Wizard of Ahs (Michael R. Burch)

As ex-President Barack Obama told graduates during a virtual commencement address: "This pandemic has fully, finally torn back the curtain on the idea that so many folks in charge know what they're doing." Behind the curtain we find the Blunderful Wizard of Ahs mumbling nonsense into his megaphone (or in this case, the cell phone he uses to tweet his absurdities).

The Human Sump Pump
The Premature Ejaculator
The HIPPOcratic Oaf

Trump has changed his tune again, by saying 2.2 million Americans might die if extreme measures are not taken. Whatever happened to the coronavirus being "fake news" and a "Democratic hoax"? Returning to normalcy by Easter is now just a discarded "aspiration." Trump's latest tune is: "Nothing would be worse than declaring victory before the victory is won." But of course that's what he did for three months, himself.

The White House Resident
Mr. Mixed Messages
The Projector (Dan Rather)

Dan Rather said Trump does so much projecting he "might as well open a movie theater."

President Pandemic
President Pandemonium (emphasis on "demon")

President Trump has responded to the coronavirus outbreak by (among other things) promising it would go away by itself, playing golf, blaming China, blaming the media, blaming Democrats, lying about it, attempting to bribe Germany’s vaccine industry and saying he’s responding to it perfectly.―USA Today

The Gaud Father (Michael R. Burch)
The Kingpin
King Trump the Terrible
His Grand Ignorancy
Dictator Fanboy Trump (Stephen Colbert)
The Paramilitary President
Generalissimo Trump (Mark Sumner)

Trump says testing is "overrated" and claims that "If we didn't do any testing, we would have very few cases." The experts say testing is an absolute necessity, if we want to reopen closed states safely. But higher case and death counts are bad for The Gaud Father's reelection chances. Apparently, the Teflon Don would rather have Americans die in vast numbers rather than know the truth, if the truth hurts his campaign. Whatever happened to JFK's "Ask not what your country can do for you?" According to Trump, all that matters is what the country can do for him, including citizens dying quietly in record numbers so that he can remain its Kingpin.

Trump has long held the idea that his occupation of the White House makes God Almighty a subordinate post. Since he replaced his twice-weekly adoration rallies with a daily coronavirus-themed tongue bath, his self-aggrandizement has gotten only grander. In just the last three days, Trump has declared he has absolute power to instruct governors on how to run their states—or else—and to tell Congress how, and even when, they can operate. Or else. Now Generalissimo Trump is going to issue a plan to make states, cities, and businesses reopen their doors. And you can bet this plan comes with a big fat "or else" attached.―Mark Sumner, Daily Kos

Tokyo Rose Trump
The Serial Spinner

Trump is "a serial spinner of his own political realities."―Stephen Collinson

During WWII, Tokyo Rose would spread disinformation on a daily basis, hoping to mislead Americans during a time of intense peril. During this new time of intense peril, Tokyo Rose Trump spreads disinformation on a daily basis.

Deep Denial Donald
Dilly-Dallying Donald
Day Late Donnie
Dollar Short Donnie
Deadly Donald
Conigula or Con-igula
The American Pilate (Trump has washed his hands of any responsibility for protecting American lives.)
Rome Burning in Man Form (John Oliver)
The American Nero

While Trump fiddles, the United States burns. Dilly-Dallying Donald's failure to act quickly and decisively in the early stages of the pandemic caused the mobilization to come too late for the peak period of infections. Meanwhile Deep Denial Donald continues to attack reporters who simply quote what he actually said about the coronavirus, when quicker, more decisive actions could have saved thousands of American lives. Deadly Donald is murdering Americans with his refusal to listen to the real experts while insisting that his "gut" knows better. "This will be regarded as the worst public health disaster in America in a century," said Eric Topol, professor of molecular medicine at Scripps Research. "The root cause of the disaster was the lack of readiness to understand where, how and when the disease was spreading. We now know there will be well over 100,000 deaths. A vast majority of those will have been unnecessarily lost because of the lack of preparedness of the United States. As a leader, Trump has to accept responsibility, which of course he won't."

The Glory Hog
DC Landfill (Trump is a garbage dump trying to persuade us he's a tropical paradise.)
The American Midas
President Pyrite
Fool's Gold

The American Midas may have a golden touch for himself, but it's been lethal for many Americans. And how did Trump turn a $436 million inheritance into a billion dollar bankruptcy? Is he really just President Pyrite and Fool's Gold?

The Gaud Father (Michael R. Burch)
Gaudzilla
Big Rocket Man

No one had ever thought of rockets before Trump. He knew about rockets before anyone else. And he knows more about rockets than rocket scientists, who are amazed at how much he knows. It must be a natural gift! Rockets are amazing and beautiful, even when they kill people (which is nothing to worry about, because more people die from the flu). Trump will claim all the credit for everyone saved by rockets, theoretically, while accepting absolutely no responsibility for anyone who actually dies if he fails to protect the nation from incoming missiles, because that's what a Great Leader like Trump does.―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Mr. Inappropriate
President Inappropriate
President Photo-Op

President Photo-Op jetted to Norfolk to pose and preen while a Navy hospital ship set sail to aid coronavirus patients. As the coronavirus threatened to kill more Americans than 9-11 and the Korean and Vietnam wars combined, Mr. Inappropriate boasted that the hair being ruffled by the wind was really his, and that he was numero uno on Facebook (another lie).

The Human Waffle
The Rank Amateur (emphasis on "rank")

Professional criminals don't make up excuses for things they claim they didn't do. Trump keeps making excuses and blaming others for things he claims are going smashingly well, thanks to him. He can't keep his story straight and it stinks to high heaven.

The Lyin' King
The King of the Whoppers
P. T. Burn 'Em
President Pantsonfire

A Trump attorney has confirmed that Trump has been "patently false, misleading and deceptive" in a cease-and-desist letter he sent to American TV stations regarding an unflattering campaign ad. “On behalf of Donald J. Trump for President, Inc., President Trump’s principal campaign committee, this letter notifies you that your station is airing a patently false, misleading, and deceptive advertisement,” wrote Alex Cannon, special counsel to Trump's campaign. The ad simply replays Trump's recorded public statements about the coronavirus, in his own voice, saying things like: “The coronavirus ... is their new hoax,” and “We have it totally under control,” and “One day, it’s like a miracle, it will disappear,” and “People are surprised that I understand it.” The ad ends with the self-damning: “No, I don’t take responsibility at all.” Trump obviously doesn't want to be quoted now that the truth has come out. We are reminded of Trump viciously attacking Megyn Kelly when all she did was quote things he had said publicly about women. Even Trump can't stand to hear how awful he sounds.

The False Profit
The Wrathematician
Mr. Magical Math

Trump is a False Profit who talked to two people and decided the numbers are not so bad, really: "Many people have it. I just spoke to two people that had it. They never went to a doctor, they didn’t report it." Trump used the undisputed fact that some cases are mild to justify his rush to reduce distancing measures and reopen closed businesses. Trump concluded: "The people that actually die, that percentage is much lower than I actually thought." But talking to two people who weren't tested is far from a scientific investigation. Trump is a Wrathematician whose "math" seems to derive from anger and denial when reality doesn't agree with his wishful thinking. So far the experts have been right and Mr. Magical Math has been wrong about the numbers every time. Is the False Profit seeing dollar signs while ignoring the human cost?

The Toxic Narcissist
Germophobic Trump (Maureen Dowd)
Lethal Donald
Typhoid Don
Typhoid Tweety (Michael R. Burch)

Typhoid Don refuses to set a good example and wear a mask in public. How many Americans will emulate him and die as a result, while infecting others?

The Scare Crow (Michael R. Burch)
Mr. Mixed Messages
President Moronavirus

Trump is the Moron-a-virus infecting the White House. Deceitful Donald said he didn't know that people died from the flu. His grandfather died from the flu! Now this six-times-bankrupted real estate salesman who claims he's "smarter" than scientists and medical experts is managing the coronavirus pandemic, which he's called "fake news" and a "Democratic hoax." In the past Trump advocated nuking hurricanes, waterbombing Notre Dame Cathedral, denying charity to sharks, tilting at windmills, and raking forest "floors" to combat wildfires. What could possibly go wrong?

Trump is The Scare Crow because he reminds me of the John Cougar Mellencamp song "Blood on the Scarecrow." Trump tries to scare American governors into obedience while refusing to lift a finger himself, other than to blame other people for his litany of errors. Trump recently warned governors "You’ll have nobody guarding your potatoes!" if they don't do things the Trump way. But in this case the potatoes are being attacked and infested at the roots. Trump's crowing does not impress the coronavirus. The governors are trying to save lives. Trump is trying to get reelected regardless of the cost in human lives.

Mr. Perfect
The Perfect Ten

Trump told reporters that he would rate his administration’s response to the coronavirus a perfect ten, on a scale of one to ten. Trump takes all the credit for anything positive and none of the blame for anything negative, so he is, in effect, saying that he's perfect.

I accept no responsibility!
The buck stops with everybody
but me! WHEEEeeeee!
―Donald J. Trump

The Authoritarian Weakman (Politico)
The Backseat Writher
The Backseat Driveler

Trump has been leading from behind while talking out his A$$.―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

The Snazzy Nazi
Hair Hitler and the Whigs
Fearless Pleader
Fearful Pleader
The IMPerial Pleader

Trump has Americans playing a lethal game of Follow the Pleader.―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Reelect your Fearless Pleader! Trump has returned to portraying the coronavirus pandemic as a "hoax" that can be safely ignored, this time starting with his magical timeline of Easter. Why? Trump's motivation is apparent in this tweet: "The LameStream Media is the dominant force in trying to get me to keep our Country closed as long as possible in the hope that it will be detrimental to my election success. The real people want to get back to work ASAP. We will be stronger than ever before!" Thus the coronavirus, which started as a next-to-nothing "hoax," then became the pandemic Trump had always seen and recognized, is now back to "hoax" status. Never mind about Americans who may suffer and die, while putting their loved ones at risk, if they return to work too soon. They are not "real people" to Trump! What really matters to Trump is that Trump gets reelected. To do that he needs everyone to work, whether they live or die, and whether or not they infect their loved ones in the process. Get your priorities straight, Americans, and put your Fearless Pleader first, as he does Himself! He is completely fearless as far as you and your families are concerned! Now we know why he's imperially called The Donald. How many Americans will suffer and die, to give Trump a better shot at getting reelected? However, when Trump's ratings and reelection chances are at risk he becomes the Fearful Pleader.

After reading the tweet mentioned above, Aldous J. Pennyfarthing called Trump a Monster and a Gormless Sack of Fruit Bat Scrotums.

According to a study published by The New York Times, our IMPerial Pleader has praised himself around 600 times while discoursing on the coronavirus, with his self-congratulations often being "predicated on exaggerations and falsehoods." Trump has blamed others over 100 times, while never taking an iota of responsibility for his many egregious errors. When Trump is quoted by reporters with things he said that are in the public record, he attacks them and/or accuses them of being "mean" and "unfair," like a three-year-old in need of serious nap time.

CDC-Neutering Death Merchant
Orange Corona-ed Virus Infecting Mankind (Michael R. Burch)

The weird corona of orange-ish hair is a dead giveaway that Trump is Corona Virus in Human Form ... no, make that Corona Virus in Semi-Human Form!

imPOTUS (emphasis on the devilish "imp")
FAUXTUS
The Flatulist (Trump blows hot air out his enormous A$$ while the world goes to pot)
Scaremonger-in-Chief (Maureen Dowd)
Viral Donald

After coming in contact with Viral Donald, senators Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, Rick Scott and Matt Gaetz have announced plans to self-quarantine.

Shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods? Ron Paul, a former Republican Presidential candidate, recently wrote an article in which he called the coronavirus pandemic a "big hoax." That might come as a surprise to his son, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul, who just tested positive for the coronavirus. After years of pandering to a conman, Republicans finally have a reality check they can't ignore. Ironically, Rand Paul was the was the only senator to vote against a bipartisan deal to provide $8 billion in emergency coronavirus funding earlier this month.

Christmas Haggis Inexplicably Brought to Life by Frosty's Magic Hat (Aldous J. Pennyfarthing)
The Perfect Circus Orangutan Diaper from Plato’s World of Forms (Aldous J. Pennyfarthing)
Off-Brand Butt Plug (Aldous J. Pennyfarthing)

Dear Fucking Lunatic, At your recent press conference―more a word salad that had a stroke and fell downstairs―you were CLEARLY so out of your depth you needed scuba gear. Within minutes of going off air your minions were backpedaling faster than Cirque De Soliel acrobats…In India a week ago, I couldn’t get past the bit about your being the most popular visitor in the history of fucking India―a country of a BILLION human souls that’s only 3000 years old, give or take!!! Trust me―Gandhi pulled CROWDS…You pulled a cricket stadium and half WALKED out…Ninety-nine percent of everything you say is either false, crazy, incoherent, just plain cruel, or a rancid paella of all four...Do you know how fucking insane you sound, you off-brand butt plug?―Aldous J. Pennyfarthing

Petulant Child (Dana Nessel)
The Morbidly Obese Man-Baby (Nancy Pelosi)
Little Donnie Whinydiaper
Little Donnie Martyr

Trump claims he's being treated "worse" than any other American president: "I am greeted with a hostile press, the likes of which no president has ever seen. The closest would be that gentleman right up there," Trump said from his perch on a high-backed stool, pointing at a marble statue of Abraham Lincoln. "They always said, ‘Lincoln, nobody got treated worse than Lincoln,’" Trump continued. "I believe I am treated worse." The southern states seceded when Lincoln was elected. The Civil War was fought over his election. More than 600,000 people died, still by far the highest death toll in any American war. Lincoln was assassinated. Little Donnie Martyr needs brush up on his history, evidently. Or just remember the things he said about President Obama when he was in office, and what he has said about other political opponents. No one has been uglier than Little Donnie Whinydiaper when he starts flinging feces.

The Brooklyn Bolshevik
Putin's Protégé
Comrade Trumputin
Tsarzan

David Frum, a conservative writer who is not fooled by Trumpian propaganda, recently compared Trump's response to the pandemic to Russia's response to the Chernobyl disaster. Rather than admitting the truth about what happened and why, which would have exposed their negligence and incompetence, Russia's leaders decided to sacrifice the lives of multitudes of commoners in order to preserve their positions of power in a heartless regime. They were leaders without decency, as is The Donald. What motivates Trump today is not the lives and health of ordinary Americans, but his reelection chances. By reopening segments of the U.S. economy, however prematurely, Trump hopes to "goose" the stock market and keep the favor of his rich patrons. If there is positive progress before November 2020, Trump may win a second term. It's a calculated gamble with other people's lives. That's a risk Trump is more than willing to take, just as his strongman heroes have always been willing to let other people die when it benefits them. In his article Frum pointed out that rich people will be working safely from their homes during the reopening: "If the reopening starts in May, it will be phased in, not by medical advice, but by the hard grammar of wealth and poverty: poorest first, richest last." The upper class will protect themselves and their children by working from home, teleconferencing, having necessities and luxuries delivered, etc. As Frum pointed out, "The coronavirus as Americans know it is not an equal-opportunity killer." A staggering 27% of the deaths have been those of African-Americans. Low-paid grocery workers living from paycheck to paycheck are particularly at risk. The elderly are particularly at risk. Less-well-off people will be Trump's and the GOP's sacrificial lambs. Governors who try to protect them, especially Democratic governors, will be accused of mutiny, treason, communism, etc.

Trump and the GOP have gone from Serial Shillers to Serial Killers with their lethal lies about the coronavirus pandemic.―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Chief Petty Officer
Petty Officer-in-Chief

As American coronavirus deaths rose inexorably toward 100,00 — more than the Korean War, Vietnam War, Afghanistan War and Iraq War combined — Trump continued his petty tweet vendettas, played golf, and bragged about his "great reviews." Has there ever been such a shallow, petty president? The question is rhetorical.

Malignantly Crazy Trump (Daily Kos)


Trump is the MESSiah after claiming to be the King of Israel, the Second Coming of God and the Chosen One. For his unholy trinity of heresies, Trump is also the False Profit. After Trump extolled his "great and unmatched wisdom" he is The Grand Wizard of the White House and The Blunderful Wizard of Ahs (Michael R. Burch). The self-alleged Stable Genius is a Horse's A$$. Trump is the News Fakir after falling for his own propaganda and being exposed by whistleblowers. Once again Trump summoned the venomous cobras of right-wing disinformation and once again they bit him, explaining his jaundiced complexion. Trump is also America's pallid Squid Pro Quo, after he sold national security down the river to shore up his sagging campaign. And he's the TOTUS (Trumper of the United States) for the same and other reasons.

Impeach the Peach Imp! Or will the Self-Impeacher pop a peach mint, sip a Peach Nehi and do it himself? Impeach the Peach Knee-High! Will the Gorge-ia Peach self-implode? Will the Peach Perón abdicate his gilded throne? Will the Son of a Peach finally admit he's the Pits?

Trump Impeachment Slogans

Fall of the House of Lusher
Gone with the Hot Air
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
"Im not Orange Im Peach!" (Donald Trump)
Demise of a "downward-spiraling scofflaw." (George F. Will)
"Dapper Don soils his diaper." (Michael R. Burch)
Trump puts the "peach" in "impeach."

Trump Wall Nicknames

Wall Cop (pun on Mall Cop)
The Wall-rus (apologies to the Beatles!)
The Wallflower
The Wall Nut
The Fence Fantasist (with a pun on Fanta because of Trump's odd coloration)
The Wall Bill-der and the Wall Shill-der
The Wall Framer
The Crow-Magnon
Incurious Gorge (Captain Sully Sullenberger)
Custard's Last Stand
Trump's Concession Stand
Where's Wall Dough?
Proud Shutdown Man (coined by The Donald when he said he would be "proud" to wear the "mantle" of the Trump Shutdown)

In reality, Trump is not in charge. Ann Coulter is the Acting President of the United States, as proved by her edicts on the border wall and how Trump slavishly obeys them. As further evidence, here are Trump nicknames coined by his xenophobic far-right overlords:

Cave Man (Rush Limbaugh predicted Trump would "cave" on his wall; also because Trump is a Neanderthal)
Amnesty Don (Breitbart)
The Turncoat (Sean Hannity accused Trump of failing to keep his election promises)
The Rollover (Ann Coulter: "What's the only thing easier to roll than Trump? An Easter egg!")
The Joke President (Ann Coulter)
Low Energy Jeb (Ann Coulter)
Gigantic Douchebag (Ann Coulter)
Shallow Lazy Gutless Lying Incompetent Ignoramus Wimp (Ann Coulter)
The Ultimate Loser (Steve Doocy of Fox & Friends)

Currently Rising & Trending Trump Nicknames: Pele (Trump's caddies, because he kicks golf balls back onto fairways), The Bogeyman, Donald Dorf, Mr. Mulligan, THE JERK (Ann Coulter said Trump keeps jerking Americans around on immigration), Mr. ReBUTTal (who issues rebuttals of a "complete exoneration"?), Mr. Perfect (Trump said calling neo-Nazis who terrorized a Charlottesville synagogue "fine people" was the perfect answer!), President Pants on Fire (according to the Washington Post, Trump has told over 10,000 lies to the American people), The Soul-Eater

Mr. Trump eats your soul in small bites.—James Comey

Trump is now enjoying a chilled Mueller Lite, served up by his personal Barr tender.

Just Another Scumbag (Steve Bannon), Just Another Flea-Bitten Jackal (the Hebrew Prophets), The Only Criminal I Couldn't Indict (Robert Mueller III), Mr. Innocent by Insufficient Evidence (DJT),
Pudgy McTrumpcake (he'll have his cake and eat yours too)

Trump is Mr. Manifesto after the El Paso shooter released a manifesto/screed that echoed inflammatory language used repeatedly by Trump, such as  "fake news" and "invasion." These are terms Trump, Fox News and white nationalist publications spew on a regular basis. Trump is also Mr. Malaprop after he "blessed" the wrong city: Toledo rather than El Paso. And Trump is Mr. Crocodile Tears because 15 minutes after consoling the people of the wrong city, he was all grins at his swanky Bedminster golf club, posing with MMA fighter Colby Covington. Trump is also Cheeto Toledo and Cheat-o Delete-o if we can get rid of him at the polls.

Meanwhile, Ivanka Trump is the Human Torch after getting lit up on social media for her public "prayer" for the victims. She tweeted that white supremacy is "an evil that must be destroyed" but her father is keeping children in cages while she says and does nothing, so call her Little Miss Hypocrisy and Miss Complicit.

Donald Trump—aka Big Rocket Man, Duke Nukem, Dr. Strangelove and The Wrath of Con—has threatened to nuke and "completely destroy" nations like Iran, North Korea and Afghanistan. He said that "all options are on the table" for nations like Venezuela and Syria. And he even said that he wouldn't rule out using nukes in Europe despite our many allies there, not to mention hundreds of millions of people!

Trump Nicknames Coined by his Colleagues

Kook (Lindsey Graham)
Race-Baiting Xenophobic Religious Bigot (Lindsey Graham)
World's Biggest Jackass (Lindsey Graham, which makes Graham the World's Biggest Jackass Kisser)
Fucking Moron (Secretary of State Rex Tillerson)
Cancer on Conservatism (Rick Perry)
IMBECILE (Steve Bannon called Trump's firing of James Comey the worst mistake in "modern political history")

Trump CPAC Speech Nicknames

The Madness of King Gorge (Michael R. Burch)
The American Flag's #MeToo Moment

Hanoi Summit Nicknames

Hanoi Bilk 'Em
The Beach Overcomber
The Bubble Dealer (Trump had predicted "fantastic success")
Big Rocket Man
Docket Man

After bowing to Kim Jong-un on the national stage, Trump will write a new book titled The Art of the Kneel.

There are many disturbing parallels between Donald Trump and Damien Thorn of the OMEN movies.

Oldies But Goodies

Don the Con, The Wrath of Con, OptiCon, Conigula
Deaf-Con-1 (he doesn't listen, lies constantly, and claims to be numero uno)
Bratman, Stuporman, Captain Shamerica and The Super Duper
Con Man the Barbarian (Michael R. Burch, after Trump started gassing refugee children at the border)
Captain Chaos (NBC)
Cadet Bone Spurs (Tammy Duckworth)
Celebrity Apprentice President
TV President (Alec Baldwin on SNL)
The Lyin' King

The news is real. The president is fake. — Stephen King

Angry Creamsicle (Stephen Colbert)
Screaming Carrot Demon (Samantha Bee)
Cheeto Benito and Cheato Benito
Cheat-o Delete-o (Michael R. Burch)
Orange Crush (Trump admitted he's being "crushed" by the Trump Shutdown)
The Fanta Menace
The Fence Fanta-sist
The Fanta-Flushed Mogul (New York Daily News)
Orange Manatee (New York Daily News)
Colonel Mustard

Colonel Mustard was an oafish Clue character: "A stock great white hunter and colonial imperialist, a dapper and dangerous military man, he was originally called Colonel Yellow."

Hair Hitler, Hair Führer, Hair Furor Trump, The New Furor, Adolph Twitler and Shitler
Donald Drumpf (his real name, per John Oliver and other sources)
Drumpfkopf
Creep Throat (Seth Meyers)

Donald Trump is his own Deep Throat. He's Creep Throat. ― Seth Meyers

Tiny Hand Sir (Stephen Colbert)
Le Petite Pee Pee

Trump has actually had his fingers digitally enlarged. Why? As Chris Hayes pointed out, "If you can alter something up here, you can alter something down there."

Orange Julius (The Nation)
Cheeto Jesus (Rick Wilson)
Tangerine Tornado (Dana Carvey)
The World's Greatest Troll (Nate Silver)
Trumplethinskin
Prima Donald
Vanilla ISIS

Trump Russian Collusion Nicknames

TЯEASONOUS TЯUMPINSKI
The American Oligarch
Comrade Trumputin (Michael R. Burch)
Red Don
Putin's Puppet (Hillary Clinton)
Putin's Poppet
Putin's Water Boy
Putin's American Propagandist
Putin's Pet American President (Rachel Maddow)
Putin's Rasputin
Putin's Dupe (DailyKos)
Miss Putin
Mrs. Putin
Russian Rule-ette
Russian Toolette
Russian Foolette
Putin's Parrot (as reported by the Wall Street Journal, Trump has been parroting Russian disinformation)
The GRUsome President (the GRU is Russian military intelligence)
The Potemkin President (The New Yorker)
The Brooklyn Bolshevik (Michael R. Burch)
Polezni Durak (Russian for "Useful Idiot")
Putin's Useful Fool (ex-CIA director Michael Hayden)
Unwitting Russian Agent (ex-CIA director Michael Morrell)
The Idiot (FBI agents assigned to the Russia investigation)
Unfit Dimwit (Michael R. Burch)
Goddamn Dumbell and Fucking Liar (John Dowd, Trump's personal attorney for the Russian collusion case)
The Kompromat (ex-CIA Director John McLaughlin says Trump was compromised by Mr. Putin)
Putin's Asset (James Clapper, former Director of National Intelligence)
Putin's A$$et (Michael Steele, former Chairman of the Republican National Committee)

That's how a press conference sounds when an Asset stands next to his Handler.—Michael Steele

Treasonous Trump (Steve Bannon said the Trump Tower meeting with Russian agents was treasonous)
Donny Moscow (Rob Hoadley)
Tsarzan (Michael R. Burch)
Tsar Baby (pun on "tar baby" after Jim Himes said Trump tarred the reputations of US intelligence agencies)
Suite 'n Low (Rachel Maddow, after Trump offered his master Putin a free $50 million penthouse)
Putin's Bootlicker (Charles Schumer)
The Russian Project (Charles M. Blow)

Trump is as much a Russian project as an American president.—Charles M. Blow

President Pee-Pee le Pew
Leader of the Pee World
Jailbird (Adam Schiff says Trump may face jail time)
The Man-Boy Who Cried Wolf
Serial Murderer of the Constitution (Neal Katyal)
Grandmaster Pinocchio (Neal Katyal)
Pinhead Pinocchio (Michael R. Burch)

The Washington Post gave Trump its Bottomless Pinocchio award for claiming 86 times that his imaginary wall is being "built" and that Mexico will pay for it.

The White House has been renamed the Moscow Concession Stand and its West Wingnuts now report directly to their Russian overseers. Donald Trump aka The Brooklyn Bolshevik has given Mr. Putin very expensive Christmas gifts: Syria, Afghanistan, Crimea and Ukraine, not to mention ceding America's global influence to Russia. This leaves Mr. Putin, the Kremlin's Grey Cardinal, firmly in control. State-controlled Russian TV shows are mocking the United States and its imbecilic and servile "president." Vodka glasses are clinking in Russia's halls of power.

After Trump's Oval Office "speech" to the American people, the following new nicknames were soon coined:

The Oval Orifice
The Oval Office Fundraiser-in-Chief  (Lawrence O'Donnell)
Low Energy Trump
H. R. Huff-n-Puff
Flabby McSnortalot (Michael R. Burch)
Sniffles
Squinty McSniffalot  (Michael R. Burch)
Nervous Hamster Trump (Michael R. Burch)
The Hyper-Ventilator

Comedian Sarah Silverman, who didn’t watch the speech, predicted the sniffle issues, tweeting: “I’m not watching how’s the stunted reading and nose breathing?”

Animatronic Robot Trump
Powered-Down Android Trump
Bad Data (a pun on the Star Trek android and Trump's copious false output)
Racist Grandpa Remembering the "Good Old Days"
Teleprompter Trump
Befuddled "Wheel of Fortune" Contestant (Seth MacFarlane)
"Are You Smarter than a Fifth-Grader" Loser

The Top Ten Trump Sexual Abuse Nicknames

The Serial Feeler — see Donald Trump's War on Women
Boldfinger (Michael R. Burch)
President Pussygrabber (Keith Olbermann) and President Grabass (SNL's Colin Jost)
Jack the Gripper and Jack the Grip Her
The Great Gropesby (Michael R. Burch)
Hair Gropenfuhrer, Der Fuhrer Feltersnatch and Feel Marshall Trump (Michael R. Burch)
Julius Seize Her, Seize Her Disgustus, Mark Anatomy and The Roamin' Seizer (Michael R. Burch)
Edward Seizerhands (Michael R. Burch)
Obergroppenführer (pun on Philip K. Dick's "Obergruppenführer")
Octopussy Groper

He was like an octopus ... his hands were everywhere.Jessica Leeds

Dishonorable Mention: President Weinstein, Donald Douchebag, Sex Pest (BBC), Teenie Weenie Trump, Tiny (Stormy Daniels), Textbook Generic Lay (Stormy Daniels), Sir Grope-a-lot, Sir Hunchalot, Twisted Mister

Trump became the HIPPO-CRIT when he declared a "national emergency" after being unable to negotiate a deal with Congress. Trump had previously criticized such unconstitutional imperialism when he tweeted: "Repubs must not allow Pres Obama to subvert the Constitution of the US for his own benefit & because he is unable to negotiate w/ Congress." Et tu, Brute?

Trending and Currently Rising Nicknames for Trump, his Administration and his Accomplices

Tariff Man — Donald Trump himself
Proud Shutdown Man — Donald Trump himself
The Proud Wearer of the Mantle of Shutting Down Till Hell Freezes Over — Donald Trump Himself
The Unprecedented President
President Clusterfuck

President Clusterfuck says Americans on the "receiving end" of his shutdown ream job should just suck it up and make an adjustment: "I'm sure that the people that are on the receiving end will make adjustment. They always do." Trump also says that it would be "easy" and "fast" for him to declare a national emergency, but he doesn't want to do it "quickly." Is he completely lacking in empathy, or is it just brains he lacks? He has 800,00 bargaining chips and is so clueless he claims they prefer his imaginary wall to paychecks.

The Vortex of Unbelievable Need — Chris Hayes
The Reality Bender — Anthony Scaramucci

In his tell-all book Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci described Trump's "reality distortion field" where he "curves facts toward himself."

Mr. Double Standard  — Trump blasted Rashida Tlaib for using profanity when he has said far, far worse himself
OptiCon

Rush Limbaugh, who is all about good optics, advised Trump to shut down the government, then jet off to Mire-a-Lago for a lavish 16-day Christmas vacation (at taxpayer expense, of course.)

The Boarder Guard — Donald Trump, ironically, because he can't spell "border"
GoFundMe Trump — there is actually a GoFundMe page to raise money for Trump's imaginary wall
Benedict Donald — Mark Hamill aka Luke Skywalker
Big Fat Nothing — Tucker Carlson of Fox News
Meshugge (Yiddish for "crazy") — Arnold Schwarzenegger
Mafia Don — James Comey compared Trump to a mafia don
Deeply Insecure Donald — James Comey
The Wicked Witch of the West Wing — Jim Carrey
Old Demon — Emmanuel Macron referring to the demons of nationalism that led to two World Wars and the Holocaust
Rainman — after Trump failed to honor America's war dead because it was raining!
Calamity Mane — because Trump's hair is a disaster and his actions are worse

"HEAD"-LINE: After Pittsburgh synagogue massacre, Calamity Mane anguishes about having "a bad hair day" then consoles "At least you know it's mine."

National Disgrace, the Weakling and Deeply Disturbing Donald — the late great John McCain
The Fearmonger and Tricky Trump — Bob Woodward, who exposed another liar and crook in Tricky Dick Nixon
Tiny, Toadstool Dick and Egotistical Lunatic — by Stormy Daniels, who said "Game on, Tiny!" and noted Trump's "shortcomings"
Old Yeller — Bernie Shine
Old Shabby — George Will
The Laughingstock — world leaders, after Trump claimed that he had done more than "almost any administration"
Absolute Joke — Tim Ryan, after Trump claimed to have a "magic wand" for manufacturing on the day GM closed five plants
The Hinternationlist — Michael R. Burch

Trump finally admitted that he's a nationalist. But in his haste to tweet, he left out the word "white." — Michael R. Burch

Crazytown — John Kelly, the White House Chief of Staff, describing the Trump administration
Zoo Without Walls — Reince Priebus, the former White House Chief of Staff
Dysfunctional Rathole — The New York Times
Donald Trump and his Team of Morons — Nobel Laureate economist Paul Krugman

Lincoln had a team of rivals; Trump has a team of morons. — Nobel Laureate economist Paul Krugman

The Nut Case — White House insiders say Trump is acting like a nut
Tumbleweed Junction

You've got tumbleweeds blowing through the West Wing. It’s already understaffed. — a former White House official

Mr. NDA — Trump doesn't want anyone to tell the truth about him or his administration
The Fifth-Grader — General James Mattis, the US Defense Secretary, deriding Trump's ignorance on important matters of state
The Synergist — Trump sought "political synergy" with Mr. Putin, aka "treason"
Delusional Donald and Unhinged — Carmen Yulin Cruz, the mayor of San Juan, after Trump claimed the Puerto Rico death toll was "fake news"

Only Donald Trump could see the tragedy in Puerto Rico and conclude that he is the victim. — Massachusetts Senator Ed Markey

The NRA contributed 30 million blood-soaked dollars to get him elected. That makes Trump and his administration the Not Ready For Prime Time Slayers.

Is Trump as brave as he claims? He's terrified of sharks, eagles, germs, unclean hands, women's body fluids, stairs, slopes, food and blood. Especially blood. Cadet Bone Spurs told Howard Stern that he flees immediately at the sight of blood: "If you cut your finger and there's blood pouring out, I'm gone." To demonstrate how intensely he detests and fears blood, Trump recounted turning his back on an elderly man who had fallen and appeared to be dying. Rather than signaling for medics, Trump complained loudly that the man's "disgusting" blood was staining Mire-a-Lago's immaculate white marble floors! Incredibly, Trump now claims that he would have rushed into a bloody hallway to confront a madman armed with an AR-15!

Jake Tapper recently said that Trump has lost his nickname "mojo." We don't think he ever had any "mojo" to lose. Nicknames coined by Trump are typically childish, unimaginative and repetitive: Little Rocket Man (Kim Jong-Un), Liddle' Bob Corker, Liddle' Adam Schiff (Trump apparently has no idea what apostrophes are used for; where's the missing letter?), Little George Stephanopoulos, Little Marco Rubio (quintuple repetitive, so sad!), Al Frankenstien (misspelled, stupid!), Psychopath Ben Carson, Psycho Joe Scarborough (repetitive, weak!), Sloppy Steve Bannon, Sloppy Michael Moore (tedious, low energy!), Nuts (Jeff Sessions), Nut Job Glenn Beck, Nut Job Lindsey Graham, Nut Job James Comey, Nut Job Bernie Sanders, Nut Job John Kelly (sextuple repetitive, incompetent loser!), Crazy Bernie Sanders, Crazy Megyn Kelly, Crazy Joe Scarborough, Crazy Jim Acosta (quadruple repetitive, so dumb!), Crooked Hillary Clinton (hypocritical, sad!), Lightweight Megyn Kelly, Lightweight Choker Marco Rubio, Lightweight Lindsey Graham (triple repetitive, lightweight!), Low Energy Jeb Bush, Pocahontas (Elizabeth Warren), Lyin' Ted Cruz, Waterboy & Easy Mark (Marco Rubio), 1 for 38 (John Kasich), Fake Tears & Cryin' Chuck Schumer, Dumb as a Rock & Low IQ (Mika Brzezinski), Jeff Flakey, Killer Kelly (John Kelly), Hopie & Hopester (Hope Hicks), Reince-y (Reince Priebus), Crusty John McCain, Liberal Puppet (Doug Jones), Wacky (Frederica Wilson), Big Luther Strange, Truly Weird Rand Paul, Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd, Sleepy Joe Biden, Cheatin' Obama, Covfefe (?), Fake News (self-incrimination, moron!), Animal Assad, The Failing New York Times, Crippled America ... or how about the 70+ people Trump has called "loser"?

Nicknames for Trump and his minions have been coined by Alec Baldwin, Steve Bannon, Glenn Beck, Samantha Bee, Joy Behar, Joe Biden, Lewis Black, Elayne Boosler, Jim Carrey, Graydon Carter, Dana Carvey, Michael Che, Cher, Hillary Clinton, Stephen Colbert, Bob Corker, Ted Cruz, Robert De Niro, Eminem, Tina Fey, Al Franken, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Kathy Griffin, LeBron James, John Kasich, Garrison Keillor, Jimmy Kimmel, Bill Kristol, David Letterman, Bill Maher, John McCain, Michael Moore, Seth Myers, Trevor Noah, Barack Obama, Rosie O'Donnell, Keith Olbermann, John Oliver, Martin O'Malley, Michael Moore, Robert Mugabe, Sarah Palin, Randy Rainbow, Dan Rather, Rob Reiner, Mitt Romney, Marco Rubio, Bernie Sanders, Joe Scarborough, Bernie Shine, Nate Silver, Jon Stewart, George Takei, Kim Jong Un, George F. Will, Michael Wolff, Fareed Zakaria, and even Trump and his first wife, the former Ivana Trump (who coined The Donald).

CURRENTLY RISING

PRESIDENT EVIL (a pun on Resident Evil)
The White House Resident (not our president)
The Grand Wizard of the White House (Hakeem Jeffries)
NATIONAL EMERGENCY IN THE FLESH
25th Amendment in the Flesh
President Photo-Op

Trump made a big show of tossing paper towels to Puerto Rican hurricane survivors. Then he was all grins and thumbs-up signs while posing with victims of the Parkland school massacre. Then he was off to the southern border to pose for pictures while 800,000 federal workers went without paychecks in the Trump Shutdown.

Mr. Freeze
The ICEman
The vICEman

Trump has no problem putting babies on ICE. — Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

American Idiot
(Great Britain, Europe, Google, The Guardian and Green Day)
Hell Stinky (after Helsinki)

Former U.S. Ambassador to Russia William J. Burns didn't mince words after the Trump/Putin summit in Helsinki: "That press conference was the single most embarrassing performance by an American president on the world stage that I've ever seen." 

National Disgrace (John McCain)
The Great Spewdini (Jim Carrey)
Mr. Bad Example (Steve Cohen)
The unCIVIL Warrior
The eRACIST

The in-Credible Christian
THE APOSTATE

Trump seduces conservative Christians over to the dark side: cutting food stamps and Medicaid, eliminating Meals-on-Wheels and heating fuel assistance, undermining Obamacare while offering nothing better and leaving millions of the most vulnerable Americans uninsured, ripping refugee babies from their mothers' breasts and denying them the milk of human kindness, greatly reducing taxes for the rich while giving the poor and middle classes a pittance, etc. What would Jesus Christ say about Trump and his supporters who claim to be "Christians"?

THE ISOLATIONIST

Republican leadership, in splendid isolation from the world, is almost unanimously dedicated to destroying the chances for decent survival.—Noam Chomsky, perhaps the earth's greatest living scholar

Space CADet Trump
The Wrath of Con
The Fanta Menace

Le Petite Pee Pee (as Trump is known by Parisian hookers)
The Man Who Would Be King (Dan Rather)
Rome Burning in Man Form (John Oliver)
The Hole-y Roamin' Emperor (Michael R. Burch)
Godzilla with Less Foreign Policy Experience (Stephen Colbert)
TyRANTosaurus Wrecks (Michael R. Burch)
Tie-Rant-o-Soar-US Rex (Michael R. Burch)
World's Greatest Troll (Nate Silver of FiveThirtyEight)
The Poll Cat (an especially smelly political skunk)

Spanky and President Spanky (Stephen Colbert, after allegations that Trump chases porn stars in his tighty whities)
President Spanky McLiarface
The Slavemaster (after Trump opined that NFL players who refuse to do his bidding should leave the country!)
The Plagiarist

First Trump stole the slogan "Make America Great Again" from Ronald Reagan. Then, in the supreme irony, he stole the slogan "Stronger Together" from Hillary Clinton!

Two-Face
THE THREAT (former acting FBI director Andrew McCabe)
Dumbfounding Donald (Andrew McCabe)
Fearful Donald (Andrew McCabe)
The Pathologically Insecure President (George F. Will)
Political Day Trader (Joe Scarborough)
Bloated Emperor Sans Clothes (Joe Scarborough, a truly cringeworthy image!)
Inexpressibly Sad Specimen (George Will)
Donald Bush (Mike Cernovich, after Trump emulated Bush Junior by attacking Syria)
The Ugly Shamerican (Michael R. Burch, after Trump called less fortunate nations "shitholes")
The Stagehog
Boiled Ham in a Wig (Jon Stewart)
Sleazy Donald (Ted Cruz)
Collusion Don and Don Collusion
The Whine-o (the Trump winery has been renamed the Trump Whinery)
The Son of Slam
The Louse that Roared (Michael R. Burch)
The Victor-Victim

The Un-American President (The New York Times)
The Madman (Michael Cohen and Trump himself)

"I won't rule out direct talks with Kim Jong-un. I just won't," Trump said. "As far as the risk of dealing with a madman is concerned, that's his problem, not mine." Thus in a rare blip of honesty Trump admitted that Jong-un will be dealing with a madman!

The Indecent President
Douche (Candice Bergen, who dated Trump in college)
The Hollow Man (Michael R. Burch, borrowed from Ernest Dowson and T. S. Eliot),

Tweety Trump (think of Dumbo flying around twittering like Tweety Bird, wearing a bad wig)
Conway Tweety (Michael R. Burch)
The Racial Arsonist (Hakeem Jeffries)
Muthafukka (Samuel L. Jackson)

The Dermagogue (Michael R. Burch)
Tax & Spend Trump (the national debt exploded with a 666 billion dollar budget deficit in Trump's first fiscal year)
IT (As in Young Frankenstein when Igor cries "It's alive!" Yeah, it's wandering around creating a lot of mayhem, but is it human?)
Flat-Out Bat-Shit Nuts (Bill Maher)
Nutso (Katie Walsh)
Malice's Adventures in Blunderland (Michael R. Burch)
Drunk Dad (Charlie Dent)

Fucking Idiot (Rupert Murdoch, as quoted by NY Magazine)
Fucking Moron (Rupert Murdoch, as quoted by Michael Wolff)
Fucking Fool (Robert De Niro, Sam Nunberg)
Hopeless Idiot (General H. R. McMaster, the nation's top national security adviser)
Impulsive, Incoherent, Uncoordinated (General Barry McCaffrey)
Dope (H.R. McMaster)
Dumb as Shit (Gary Cohn, chief economic advisor to Trump)
Dumb as Dirt (Stephen King)
Idiot (Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin and White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus)
Idiot Surrounded by Clowns (Michael Wolff)
Sick Ignoramus (Rob Reiner)
Il Stupido (Pope Francis called climate change deniers like Trump "stupid," "stubborn" and "unseeing")
Foxymoron (Michael R. Burch)
THE DOTARD (Kim Jong Un)
Donnie Dementia (Michael Moore)
Donnie Dimwit (Trump's sister, Judge Maryanne Trump Barry)
Dolt 45
Daft Twerp (Nicholas Soames, grandson of Trump's hero, Winston Churchill)
SillyCon Boob (Michael R. Burch, after Ivana Trump said Trump isn't racist, he's just "silly" and "confused")
The Hypocritic Oaf
Absolute Pedantic Fool (Keith Olbermann)
Bloviating Ignoramus (George Will)
The Know-Nothing (George W. Bush — Ouch! That must REALLY sting, considering the source!)
Mentally Unstable Simpleton (The New York Times)

THE MORON makes Rex Tillerson the Secretary of Stating the Obvious! The irate Rexit called his boss an EFFIN' MORON after Big Rocket Man called for a "nearly tenfold" increase in the US nuclear arsenal. According to Popular Mechanics, that would cost $15 trillion dollars for 50,000 nukes that can never be used! At nearly four times the entire federal budget, "it would be the most expensive chest-thumping exercise ever." Yep, sounds effin' moronic to us! Trump claimed that he didn't call for the increase, but on December 22, 2016 he tweeted: "The United States must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability!" Now the twitterverse is exploding with hashtags like #moron #morongate and our favorite, the poetic #MoronDon.

BEDROCK (Rex Tillerson admits that he is Blarney to his bumbling caveman boss, President Flintstone, because they share "bedrock values")
MR. MENSA (Trump challenged Tillerson to an IQ test, claiming there was no doubt who would win!)

The Abominable Showman
The Mandarin Candidate
The Banana Republican (Bill Kristol says the GOP has "a cult of personality worthy of a Banana Republic")
The Surreal Donald Trump
The Self-Made Sham (in reality Fred Trump made his son rich the easy way: inheritance of more than $400 million!)
Shameless Salesman (Salon)
Sir Scamalot
Uncle Scam
Uncle Ream US (Michael R. Burch)
P. T. Barnum (Trump's sister Maryanne Trump Barry, a federal judge who has seen a lot of deception, said her brother is P. T. Barnum)

BS Artist (Robert De Niro)
Epic Bullshit Artist (New Republic)
Mr. In-Credible: "The least credible person who has ever walked on earth" (Michael Wolff)
Mercurial Liar (Kurt Andersen)
Emperor-sans-Clothes (Michael Wolff)
Paper Tiger (McKay Coppins because Trump hasn't stood up to China, built the Wall, or drained the Swamp)
Serial Bankruptcy Artist (Tim O'Brien)
Crazy (Jared Kushner, per The New York Times)
Crazy and "outside the realm of normal" (FBI Director James Comey)
Sleazy Con Man Gone Over to the Dark Side (Vanity Fair editor Tina Brown)
Superbug (Jay-Z)
Wackadoo (Michael Wolff quote)
Anger-Fueled Demagogue (Salon)
Monkey (Steve Bannon)
Mr. Big Wig
Lucky Charms (Trump told farmers: "You are so lucky that I gave you the privilege of voting for me!")
The Grate Pretender (Michael R. Burch)
Imperfect Vessel (to be filled with Steve Bannon's dreams of Leninist destruction)
The Deconstructionist (Steve Bannon)

If you look at [Trump's] Cabinet nominees, they were selected for a reason, and that is deconstruction.—Steve Bannon

Syphilitic Emperor (Ross Douthat)
Dark Heart (Hollywood Reporter)
THE BEAST (Ivanka Trump)

Ivanka Trump said there's a special place in hell for people who sexually prey on children, like Playboy Roy Moore and her father!

The Demonic Demonizer (Trump demonizes women and minorities)
The False Profit
Nostradumbass

Rock Bottom (Nancy Pelosi)
Rich White Trash (Donald Trump)
The Taint (Watergate journalist Carl Bernstein said what's "really been tainted … is the Trump presidency.")
tRump (USDA grade F-, as in: "What the hell can we do with this old, smelly slab of t-rump? Oh yeah, let's elect it president!")
Unfit to Clean Toilets (USA Today, after Trump slut-shamed Kirsten Gillibrand)

It is FAKE NEWS that Trump is unqualified to clean toilets! Russian hookers will gladly testify to the contrary! Believe me!

The Vulture Crapitalist
The Whim-Sickle President
SHITHEAD (Sam Copeland)
The Late Knight Commodian (after Trump joked that Mike Pence wants to hang all gays)
The Human Vanity Mirror
The Grater (Tump is making Russia and China great again, by making America grate again)
The Disgrace (Jennifer Detlefsen)
Racist Clementine (Trevor Noah)
Ku Klux Klown
The Grate Divider (Michael R. Burch)
Xenophobic Ritz Cracker
Hater-in-Chief (Carmen Yulín Cruz, the major of San Juan)
Birther-in-Chief (Hakeem Jeffries)
The Wrathematician (Michael R. Burch, after Trump said only 16 Puerto Rican deaths were "certified"!)
Archie Bunker (Steve Bannon)
The Racial President (Omarosa)
Racist Grandpa (from Eminem's rap cypher "The Storm")
Donald the Bitch (Eminem)
The Kamikaze "that'll probably cause a nuclear holocaust" (Eminem)
Nutless "like an empty asylum" (Eminem)
Anathema (Eminem: "We love our country, but we fucking HATE Trump!")
Super Callous Fragile Racist Extra Braggadocios
Super Callous Fragile Racist Sexist Nazi POTUS

President Moonbeam (The New York Times says Trump "promises the moon")
President Pee-Tape
President If Urine You're In
President Pants-on-Fire
Pathological Liar (Ted Cruz)
Truthophobic Trump (Elizabeth Harris Burch said "Trump is so divorced from the Truth, he should pay it alimony!")
The Hot Air Buffoon (Michael R. Burch)
E Pluribus Loon 'em (out of many, one loon to rule 'em and make 'em even loonier)

Fat A$$ (Stephen Colbert)
Cra$$ A$$
Largemouth Ass (Samantha Bee)
Sniffy McFatass (Beth Donahue)
Fatty McFatass
Flabby McFatass
Butternut Turd (Drew Magary)
General Custard (ethnically cleansing children like Custer, but without the flowing mane)

Rigger Mortis (Michael R. Burch)
Donald de Rigueur (Michael R. Burch)
The Bid Rigger

The Great Gutsby
The Great Gasbag (Joy Behar)
The Great White Snark
The Blowhard (President George H. W. Bush)

The Thinskinned Skinflint
Trumplethinskin

Saddam Le Pompadour (Michael R. Burch)
The Snazzy Nazi (Michael R. Burch)
Orange-Vanilla ISIS
Duke Nukem
Big Rocket Man
The Button Glutton
Psycho Finger on the Button (Michael Moore)

Gossamer-Skinned Bully (Graydon Carter)
Bully Culprit (protest sign)
President Chirp (Sarah Huckabee Sanders)
Dire Abby (because Trump gives relationship advice like Dear Abby, but his message is invariably dire)
The Big Shtick ("Unlike Teddy Roosevelt, Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick!"―Michael R. Burch)
Shark Weak (Trump watched Shark Week for hours, absolutely terrified, according to Stormy Daniels)
The Carnivore (Senator John Kennedy)

Miracle Whipped (each Trump "miracle" seems to backfire)
The Lamé Duck President
Toast (Steve Bannon gave Trump a 30% chance of finishing his first term)

The White O.J. (SNL's Colin Jost)
Commander-in-Cheat (Rick Reilly)
Cheater-in-Chief (MSNBC),

More Trump Sexual Assault Nicknames

The Fresh Prince of Times Square (Michael R. Burch)
Donald Trumpboner
Demander-in-Chief
Sexual-Predator-in-Chief
Groper-in-Chief
The Sexual A$$aulter-in-Chief
Dr. Gropenstein
Melania's Burden
Enormous Douche (FBI agent Peter Strzok)
The Louche Douche
The Twat Twit
The Impotentate
Bushman
Bushmaster
Bush Baby
The Viagra Dough Boy
The Snatch Snatcher
The Snatch Snitch
Alpha Molester
Chest Her Molester
Tic-Tac-Dough
Tic-Tac Attack
Ticky-Tacky Trump
Rikki Tikki Tacky
Groper Cleave Hand
Full Frontal Assault Trump
The Pussy Posse

The Top Ten Melania Trump Nicknames

The Slovenian Sphinx (Maureen Dowd)
First Babe
Third Lady (after Ivana Trump and Marla Maples)
Melanoma
Melania Antoinette
The Ice Queen (Gloria Erin Ryan)
The Superglamorous Stepford Wife (André Leon Talley)
The Man-Baby Sitter and The Trump Sitter
The Trump Swatter (after slapping her husband's hand away)
The Apprentice Bride and Bride of Trumpenstein

Please click here for all Melania Trump Nicknames

Trump Administration, Cabinet, Supporter, Follower and Lapdog Nicknames

Zoo Without Walls (Reince Priebus, the first White House Chief of Staff)
Crazytown (General John Kelly, the second White House Chief of Staff)
Supremacists 'R US
The Washington Denial Machine (Bob Woodward)
The Carnival (Bob Woodward)
Staff Infection (Stephen Colbert)
Monster's Ball (David Axelrod)
Moscow on the Hudson (Michael R. Burch)
ICE Capades (Michael R. Burch)
The Romper Room (Trump attorney Ty Cobb said he and General Kelly were "the only adults in the room" at the White House)
The Cult of Trumpworld (Omarosa Manigault Newman)
Nationalists International
Boys 'R US
The Apparatchiks

The entire GOP now consists of apparatchiks. — Nobel Laureate Paul Krugman

The New Dystopia
Monkeys Hurling Excrement (Steve Schmidt)
The Ogle Office
Mire-a-Lago
The Collusionists
Collusion Central
Corruption Junction
The Adult Day Care Center (Bob Corker)
Grassroots Hobbits (Steve Bannon)
The Island of Misfit Toys (Steve Bannon)
The Broke-Dick Campaign (Steve Bannon)
Sinking Ship of State (Steve Bannon)
President Beavis and the Buttheads
The Bazaar (Bob Corker)
The Bizarre Bazaar (Michael R. Burch)
The Grifters (Valerie Plame)
Trolls Galore (Hillary Clinton)
Amoral Flying Monkeys (Keith Olbermann)
Steve Bannon’s Alt-Right Swamp (Vogue)
Tweety and the Twits (Michael R. Burch)
Tweety and the Tots
Tweety and the Twittermaniacs
Trumplings
Trumpcakes
The Kremlin Gremlins
The Far Slide
The Lords of Misrule
Crazy Train (Ozzy Osbourne)
The Alt-Right Hate Machine (Al Green)
The ALT-CONTROL-DELETE CLUB
Hapless Incompetents (Ryan Cooper)
The Trump Freak Show (Vogue)
The Hinternationalists (Michael R. Burch)
The Highglanders (Michael R. Burch)
Rank Amateurs ("rank" as in "reeking")
Amateur Hour at the White House
Den of the Re-Flub-Lycans (Michael R. Burch)
Hair Hitler and the Whigs (Michael R. Burch)
Blingtime for Hitler (Michael R. Burch)
Trump-Pence None the Retcher (Michael R. Burch)
The White Supremacist House (Michael R. Burch)
Hicks from the Sticks
Hicks from the Styx
The West Wing Sexual Assault Emporium (Michael R. Burch)
The Ovary Assault Office
The Ovary Inspection Office (Michael R. Burch)
The Cucksmen
Crack Team of Crackpots (Michael R. Burch)
AmeriKlan Idols
The Pod People
Kakistocracy (Ryan Lizza)

The Greeks have a word for the emerging Trump Administration: kakistocracy. The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as a “government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.” Webster’s is simpler: “government by the worst people.”—Ryan Lizza in a New Yorker article

Please click here for all Trump cabinet, administration, supporter, follower and lapdog: Donald Trump Cabinet Nicknames

What do you call a collection of Trump supporters?

A Confederacy of Dunces (Vox Populi)
A basketful of deplorables (Cooper)
An assembly of a$$es (Sugarplum Tweetie)
A flock of fucktards (Beth Burch)
A swastika of Nazis (Odette Roulette)
A blather of blitherers (Miss Lynas)
A quorum of complicity (Rick Mazurski)
The Swamp (HomerJoe)
The Politburo (Don Allard)
Putin's Marionettes (Robert Bland)
Putinettes (John Pfahlert)
Traitors 'R Us (Lynn Underwood)
Co-conspirators (Rob Nichols)

Trump Family Nicknames

The Stepfordians
Scamalot (pun on Camelot)
The KKKardashians
The Brooklyn Hillbullies (Michael R. Burch)
Donald Duck Dynasty
The Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse (Michael R. Burch)
The Cold Ones
The Ad-Dumbs Family (Michael R. Burch)
Children of the Corn
Beavis and the Buttheads
Donald and the Douchebags
Hitler's Revenge on the United States
Poor Little Bitch Kids
The Bitches of Eastwick

Immature Trump Nicknames

Man-Baby (Jon Stewart)
Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper
(Michael R. Burch)
Baby-in-Chief (Robert De Niro)
Tsar Baby
L'Enfant Terrible
Sweet Little Baby Trump (Alec Baldwin)
Pouty Baby Trump (Alec Baldwin)
Dinky Donny (Cher)
Little Trump (Newt Gingrich: "The little Trump is frankly pathetic.")
The Alpha Male Crybaby (George F. Will)
Bewildered Kindergartner (George F. Will)
Big Baby (Lewis Black)
Boss Baby Trump
Birther Boy
The Boy Blunder
The Boychurian Candidate (Michael R. Burch, a pun on Manchurian Candidate)
Bratman
Bratworst (pun on "bratwurst")
Little Donnie Two Scoops
The Pre-Teen President (Steve Bannon told Vanity Fair that Trump's like an 11-year-old child!)
The Combover Kid
Donald the Menace
Dyslexic Donlad
Felonious Punk
Trust Fund Baby President (Maria Teresa Kumar)
Dauphin of Breitbartistan (Samantha Bee)
Malice in Blunderland (Michael R. Burch)
Poster Boy for Narcissism (Dr. César Chelala)
Kid Loudmouth (MAD Magazine)
The Tottering Tot
The Shillsbury Doughboy
Toddler Psychopath (John Oliver)
Rascalnikov (a pun on the name of the downward-spiraling criminal in Crime and Punishment)
Donnie John (Tina Fey)
The Rookie (Mitch McConnell)
The Rook (Nancy Pelosi)
The Greenhorn (Nancy Pelosi)
Truant Trump (Bob Corker tweeted #AlertTheDaycareStaff)
Liddle Donnie Diaperrash
Little Donnie Daisyfingers (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Diaperpants (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Dingleberry (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Diva (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Discord
Little Donnie Dunciad
Man-Toddler Trump
Shark Dressed Man-Boy (Michael R. Burch)
Sir Pissypanties
Sir Sissypants
The Terrible Tyke
Terroristic Man-Toddler (Charles M. Blow)
The Tellytubby President (Trump watches up to 4 hours of TV per day, and is very tubby!)
Tinky Winky Trump
Ego Buoy (Michael R. Burch)
The Golden Man-Child
The Kindergarten Fop (Michael R. Burch)
The Imperious Adolescent (Doug Elmets)
An Inconvenient Youth (Michael R. Burch)
The Infantalist (David Brooks)
Bubble Boy
Stunty Photo-Op Man-Baby
THE SIX MILLION RUBLE MAN-BABY

Small Hands Trump Nicknames

Short-Fingered Vulgarian (Graydon Carter)
Twinkle Fingers Trump
Babyfingers Trump
Le Petit Prince Daisyfingers (Michael R. Burch)
Liddle Donnie Ladydiddler (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Diddlefingers (Michael R. Burch)
The Tiny-Handed Tyrant
Stumpy
Chubby Nubby
Tiny Hands Trump
Dainty Digits Trump
Pixie Digits Trump
Donnie McTinyHands

Trump Boy Scout Nicknames

The Boy Scouter
The Boy Shouter
The Boy Spouter (after Trump spouted off to the Boy Scouts)
The Boy Pouter
The Boy Lout
The Boy Flouter

Senile Trump Nicknames

Old Fart
Paunch-o
Don Rectum
The Walking Talking Basket Case
Mentally Deranged Dotard (Kim Jong Un)
Lunatic Old Man (Korean Central News Agency)
The Doddering Demagogue
The Slurmaster
Old Slurpee

Flabby Trump Nicknames

Fat Blabby (Lewis Black)
Big Baby (Lewis Black)
The Great Gutsby (Michael R. Burch)
Porky Pig and The New York Pork Dork (because Trump has taken so much government "pork")
Humpty Trumpty
Trumpty Dumpty
King Gorge
Big Donald (coined by Marco Rubio) and Pig Donald (a variation coined by feminists)
Oompa Loompa Trump
Trump Heffalump
The Walrus
The Great White Wail (Michael R. Burch)

Trump Swamp Nicknames

Swampy (Trish Regan of Fox Business)
Swamp Scum
The Swamp King
The Swamp Stocker
Creature from the Orange Lagoon
The Gold Man Sucks President (after Trump stock this swamp with his crocodilian Goldman Sachs donors)
THE SWAMPLAND SALESMAN
Big Agenda Trump (David Horowitz)
The Vulture Crapitalist

Trump Warmonger, Antichrist and Apocalypse Nicknames

Duke Nuke 'Em
Dr. Strangelove
Gleeful Provocateur (David Von Drehle)
The Neo-Con Puppet (coined by the Alt-Right)
The Neo-Con-Man
The War Troll
Deep State Donald
The False Flag Flyer
Deep Hoax
Carnage Incarnate
The Rabble Rouser
The American Terrorist (George Takei)
The Firestarter
The Pyromaniac
The Pyro President
The Flaming Hun
Republican Rapture Inducer
mADD Max
The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse (Michael R. Burch)
The Fourth Norseman of the Apocalypse (Michael R. Burch)
Nostradumbass
God Emperor Trump
Terminator Trump
The Beast
Little Horn (the prophets of the Bible)
The Trump of Doom (the prophets of the Bible)
Darkness Incarnate
Damien Trump (after the Antichrist figure in the Omen movies)
Dude the Apostate (Michael R. Burch)
Dude the Obscure (Michael R. Burch)
Doomsday Donnie
The Great Whore of Babble-On
— see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?

Trump Hairdo (and Hair-don't) Nicknames

Old Baldy
Hell Toupée
Dead Wombat Toupée
Drek-ula
The Combover Kid
Mr. Wiggy Piggy
Hair Hitler
Hair Furor
Mein Hair
Hairman Mao
The Mad Hatter and The Mad Hater
Human-Toupée Hybrid (New York Daily News)
Toupée Fiasco
Squirrelwig McRacistPants
Con Hair (pun on the movie "Con Air")
Hair Force One
Hamster Hairpiece
Goldilocks

Demented Trump Nicknames

The Symptom (Barack Obama, because Trump is merely a symptom of the diseases of racism, chauvinism and intolerance)
The Sociopath (Tony Schwartz, who wrote The Art of the Deal)
Weirdo (Harry Reid)

Trump Fowl & Foul Nicknames

Chicken Donald (Martin O'Malley)
Chicken Don
Chicken Little
Chicken Spittle
Chicken Sh*ttle
Chicken Whittle (Trump will gladly whittle away healthcare from babies, grannies and vets)
The Cuck of the Walk (Michael R. Burch)
Donald Cluck
Donald Clusterf*ck
Chickensh*t
Donald Chickenheart
Booster Hogburn

Trump Gold and Money Nicknames

The Gold Flake (Michael R. Burch)
The Gold Bug
The Gold Digger
The Con Dike Gold Rush
Darth Goldplater
Golden Wrecking Ball (Sarah Palin, who was not trying to be funny ... so sad!)
Gold Faithful (Trump worships gold and erupts with anger on a regular basis)
Fool's Gold
Mr. Golden Shower
Mr. Moneybags
Mammon's Lam-Man
The Keeper of the Golden Commode

Trump Leak Nicknames

The Perpetual Fountain of Lies (Charles M. Blow)
The Blowhard
The Spigot
Urine Deep Shit Now (Michael R. Burch)

Trump Golf Nicknames

The Bogeyman (after Trump took yet another golf vacation while terrified schoolchildren marched for their lives)
The Caddy Hack
The Caddy Hacker
Mr. Mulligan
Dorf (a Tim Conway character in the skit "Dorf on Golf")

Trump Monarchist/Royalist/Tyrant Nicknames

TyRANTosaurus Wrecks (Michael R. Burch)
Gaudzilla
The Scum Lord
King Drumpf (Fred Trump said he raised his son to be a "king")
King Leer
King Rat
The Lyin' King
King Trump the Grate
King Con (pun on King Kong)
Ol' King Coal
King Tut (because Trump makes people who prize decency go "Tut, tut, tut!")
Conigula (Michael R. Burch, emphasis on "con")
The Roil-ist (pun on Royalist)
Prince Uncharming
Prince Alarming
Prince of Humbug (P. T. Barnum)
The Son King (it was Trump's father who made him rich; pun on "Sun King")
The Shun King
The Stun King
The American Dauphin (Michael R. Burch)
The Lord of the Blings
Bling Midas
Reverse Midas

Donald Trump is the Reverse Midas because everything he touches immediately turns to s**t ... Trump Casinos, Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump Mortgage, the Trump Shuttle, Trump the Game, affordable healthcare, women's rights, minority rights, our right to vote without interference from Russia, the environment, our children's educations, Syria, North Korea ...

Trump Dictator and Fascist Nicknames

The New Furor
Trumpen Furor
Mein Furor
Mein Trumpf
Shitler
Twitler
Adolph Twitler
Drumpfkopf
The Apprentice Führer (Ben Judah)
Nazi Rat (Alicia Machado)
Casino Mussolini (Samantha Bee)
Hair Mousse-olini
Mussolini's Taint
Benito Trumpolini
Inglorious Leader
Dear Leader
Der Leader
Fearful Leader
Fear Fool Leader
Baron Trump
The Tin-Pot Despot (Nicholas Kristof)
Tsar Trumpov
Tsar Ridickulous (Michael R. Burch)
Tsarzan (Michael R. Burch)
Genghis Con (Michael R. Burch)
Genghis Can't and Genghis Cant (Michael R. Burch)
El Presidente
Il Douche and Ill Douche
Il Doofus
Poll Potbelly Pig (pun on Pol Pot)
The Mandarin Candidate
Idiot Amin
The American Saddam / Assad / Duterte / Erdogan / Pinochet / Poppa Doc / Jong-un / Mussolini / Hitler / Lenin / Stalin / Mao / Putin

Kremlingate/Comeygate/Russiagate/Putingate/Votergate Nicknames

Comrade Trumputin
The Brooklyn Bolshevik
The Russian Mole
Agent 747 (i.e., Jumbo)
The Siberian Candidate
Putin's Puppet
Putin's Poppet
Putin's Putty
Putin's Proxy
Putin's Bitch
Putin's Rasputin
Putin's Useful Idiot
Putin's C*ck-Holster (Stephen Colbert)
Lavrov's Dog (pun on Pavlov's Dog)
Lavrov's Lapdog
Putin's Pampered Poodle
Lenin's Gremlin
Stalin's Paladin
The Stallin' Stalin
The Rootin' Tootin' Lootin' Putin Sidekick
Donny Moscow
Deep Bloat
Deep Moat
Deep Creep
The Loose-Lipped Ship Sinker

Colorful Trump Nicknames
Trump Coloration Nicknames

The Peach Imp
Mango Mussolini
Mango Mugabe
Marmalade Mugabe
Cheeto Magneto (Michael R. Burch)
Shady Marmalade and Fraidy Marmalade (puns on the Patti LaBelle song)
Persimmon Satan (Michael R. Burch)
Persimmon Hitler
Cinnamon Hitler
Ginger Hitler
Gingervitis (Michael R. Burch)
Sunkist Stalin
Tangerine Palpatine
Tangerine Voldemort
Tangerine Tornado (SNL's Church Lady, played by Dana Carvey)
Tangerine Tie-Rant (Michael R. Burch)
Angry Pumpkin
Angry Creamsicle
The Fanta Menace
The Fanta Ranter
The Fence Fanta-sist
Orange-Faced Windbag (Rand Paul)
Orange Julius and Orange Foolius
Great Orange Shitgibbet

More Colorful Trump: PEEOTUS, Marmalade Mussolini, Habañero Hitler, Habanero Hussein, Sunburned Stalin, Fanta Fascist, Candied Yam, El Hombre de Tang, Orange Anusmouth, Mandarin Orange Mugabe, Melba Mao, The Orange Peel, Tangerine Nutsack, Animated Pumpkin, President Tang, Kim Jong Orange, Pantone Beelzebub, Minute Maid Mao, Papaya Batista, Sweet Potato Saddam, Tropicana Mussolini, Nectarine Noriega, Orange Ortega, Mangled Apricot Hellbeast, Lemonhead, Peach Nehi President, Trump Brulée, Pumpkin Spice Satan, Tang Tyrant, Candy Corn Kremlin, The Nacho Nazi, The Yellow Death, Yellow Fever, Orange-Tufted Twitter Flitterer, The Orange Oligarch, The Gollygarch, Grossly Protuberant Peach Topped with Yucky Orange Lint-Fuzz, The Orange-Tufted War Troll, Butternut Soufflé of Seeping Death, The Persimmon Satyr, The Orange Menace, Mango Mophead, Cantaloupe Caligula, Orange Sauron, Der Pumpkinfurher, Pumpkin Pinochet, Apricot Poll Pot, Carrot Khomeini, Cheddar Ceausescu, Dorito Duterte, Gouda Gaddafi, Ham Hussein, Yam Saddam, Talking Yam, Stalking Yam, Peach Perón, Velveeta Vladimir, Salmon Voldemort, Code Orange, The Orange DREAM Sickle, The Orange Ogre, Orange Offal, Partially Sentient Spray Tan, Orange Vogon The Orange Hobgoblin, Orange Buffoon

Cheesy Trump Nicknames

Cheez Whiz Ceaușescu
Cheez Doodle (Maureen Dowd)
Cheez-It-in-Chief
Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator
Cheeto Benito and Cheat-o Benito
Benito Cheetolini
Cheeto-in-Chief and Cheato-in-Chief
Screaming Cheeto
Angry Cheeto
The Big Cheeto
The Cheeto Bandito
Cheeto Voldemort
Cheeto von Tweeto
Cheeto-Faced Shit-Gibbon
Cheeto Jesus
Cheeto Satan
Desperate Cheeto (Randy Rainbow)
Frito Corleone
Frito Lay

Space Cadet Trump Nicknames

Space CADet Trump
The Mutant (Mark Shields)
The Aberration (Mark Shields)
The Wrath of Con
Doom Emperor Trump
Darth Insidious
Darth Hideous
Darth Hater
Darth Goldplater
The Fanta Menace
The Rude Crude Orange-Hued Space Dude

Trump Movie Star Nicknames

Forrest Trump
Rainman
Painman
Donnie Darko
Donnie Dorko

Trump Superhero Nicknames

The Loan Deranger
Tsarzan
Bratman
Fatman
Stuporman
Duperman
Super Duper
Super Man-Boy
Supertot
MAGAMAN
The Incredible Bulk
Con Man the Barbarian (Michael R. Burch, after Trump started gassing refugee children at the border)
Captain Tantastic
Captain Underpants
Captain Thunderpants
Captain Diaperpants
Captain James T. Smirk
Captain Outrageous
Captain Chaos
Captain Shamerica
(Michael R. Burch)
Captain Un-America
Captain AmeriKKKa
The Anti-Black Panther
The Slack Panther
Optimus Grime (Michael R. Burch)
The Toxic Avenger
The Orange Pimpernel
Sir Leakalot (Michael R. Burch)
The Wear Wolf
The Incredible Shrinking Man-Boy

More Donald Trump super-villain and super-hero nicknames: Fatman, Deadfool, Deadpule, Loki, Herr Fantastique, Doktor Strange, Doktor Doom, Doomsday, Deathstroke, HairDevil, Kingpin, Liceman, The Orange Hulk, The Orange Thing, Orange Spawn, Gambit, Venom, Hellboy, Hellmanbaby, Ironic Man, The Inhuman Torch, Blightcrawler, Two-Face, Orange Skull, Apocalypse, Mr. Sinister, Bane, Zoom, Shredder, Mongul, Abomination, Hobgoblin, Parasite, Lizard, The Codfather, Captain Bluto

Trump Tweet Nicknames

Tweety
Tweety Blurred
Tweetle-Dumb
Tweet-'l-Dumb
Commander-in-Tweet
Boss Tweet
Tweet Twit
The Petulant Twitter Chirper
The Obsessive Compulsive Twitterholic

Trump Con Nicknames

King Con
Don the Con (Marc Bauer)
The Teflon Con (Dave Denison)
P. T. Burn 'Em
Condoofus (Michael R. Burch, a pun on Confucius)
Confusedius
Conigula
The Wrath of Con
OptiCon
Conman the Barbarian
Genghis Con
Con-Way Tweety
Conman Don
Conman-in-Chief
Liar-in-Chief
Thief-in-Chief

Trump Ego and Lies Nicknames

King of the Whoppers
The Abominable Showman
Pander Bear and Pander Hair (Elizabeth Harris Burch)
The Human Vanity Mirror (Michael R. Burch)
The Abominable Dough-Man
Narcissist-in-Chief
Utterly Amoral Narcissist (Ted Cruz said: "Morality does not exist for him.")
Delusional Narcissist (Rand Paul)
The King of Fake News
Failed QVC Steak Salesman (Samantha Bee)
Two-Bit Used Hate Salesman (Samantha Bee)
The Feckless Denizen of the White House (Greg Dworkin)
Trumple-Doodle-Doo
The Spin-Meister
Deceitful Donald
Donald Dupe
President Pants-on-Fire
The Bullshit Artist and The Bullshitter (Fareed Zakaria)

Trump Hypocrisy Nicknames

The HIPPO-crit (Trump criticizes overweight women but the YUGE tub of lard never looks in the mirror)
Hippo-CRAZY
The Hypocritic Oaf (Michael R. Burch)

Mob Boss Trump Nicknames

The Gaud Father (Michael R. Burch)
The Goad Farther
Al Cappuccino
Snarlin' Brando
Frito Corleone
Vincent von Gouge
The Unwise Guy
Donnie Little Hands

Tyrant Trump Nicknames

The Tin-Pot Despot (Nicholas Kristof)
Conigula (Michael R. Burch)
Dubious Caesar
Julius Seize Her (Michael R. Burch)
Bling the Merciless (Michael R. Burch)
Alexpander the Great (Michael R. Burch)
Napoleon Blownapart (Michael R. Burch, emphasis on "nap")
King Bling
King Dong
King Trump the Grate
The Great Gutsby
Hairman Mao
Emperor Hero-Cheat-O
Tsarzan

Trump Fashion Nicknames

Emperor Sans Clothes
Tie-Rant Trump
The Tie-Coon
The Wear Wolf of Wall Bleat (Michael R. Burch)

Trump Inferno and Climate Nicknames

The Glowering Inferno
Trumpster Fire
Dumbster Fire
Bonfire of the Insanities (Michael R. Burch)
Ole King Coal
The Climate Primate

Trump Baseball Nicknames

Babe Ruthless
Babe Truthless
Sham the Man Unusual

Trump Clown Nicknames

Fuckface von Clownstick (Jon Stewart)
The Clown Prince
The Crown Prince of Politwits
Orange Skelton
Orange Skeltor
Ronald McDonald Trump Bozo (Michael R. Burch)
Big Top Trump
Bizarro Bozo
The Oompa Loompa of Doom (Chris Riddell)
The Greatest Showboat on Earth (Michael R. Burch)
The Class(less) Clown
The Killer Klown

Racist Trump Nicknames

The Ritz Cracker
Harvey Wallbanger
AmeriKKKLan Idol
President Snowflake (emphasis on "flake")
The Alt-Right Blight Inciter
The DuKKKe of Churl
The Kloset Klansman
The White Supremacist KKKnight

Trump Mania Nicknames

The Shambolic Shaman
The Whack-Job POTUS (John Podesta)
Untethered Maniac (Michelle Goldberg)

Trump Comedy Nicknames

God's Gift to Comedy (Jerry Seinfeld)
Job Security (Jimmy Kimmel)
Cultural Punch Line (Tom Scharpling)
Don Quixote and Don Quixotic
Dudley Do-Wrong

Trump Animal Nicknames

Creature from the Orange Lagoon
Weasel (FBI Director James Comey)
Orange-Tufted Shitweasel / Stink Ferret / Shitgibbon / Swamp Ogre
Orangutan
Yungoos (a Pokémon weasel with a blond 'do)
Gumshoos (the evolved form of Yungoos)

Trump Halloween Monster Nicknames

Trumpenstein, Trumpula, Trumpzilla, The Great Trumpkin, Damien Trump, Count Hackula, Count Dreckula, Count Crockula, Trump Troll, Uncle Grope-Fester (Josh Marshall), Human Molotov Cocktail (Michael Moore), Grotesquely Decomposing Pumpkin Pulp, The Dangler (Dan Rather), The Grim Groper, The Grim Weeper, The Prim Reaper, The Grimy Reaper, The Mountebank (J. Robert Smith), The Orange Blob, Lurch, Spittle-Mouthed Snarler (Gina Barreca), Orange Amoeba (Ana Navarro), Sith Lord Trump, Super Predator (Van Jones), The Beast, Trumpasaurus Rex, Tyrantosaurus Wrecks, TyrannaSoreAss Rex, Prontoboorus, Zombie Trump (Green Day), Revolting Slug (Jerry Buckingham)

Donald Trump Halloween Ideas

Incompetent Trump Nicknames

The Feeb (George F. Will: "a feeble president")
Trainwreck (Bob Corker said the White House staff called him multiple times when Trump was "really off the tracks")
Pathetic (John Kasich)
Deeply Disturbing Donald (John McCain)
Complete Disaster (John Boehner)
The Degrader (Jeff Flake said Trump is "degrading" the presidency)
The Debaser (Bob Corker accused Trump of "debasing" the nation)
The Neanderthal (Bob Corker said Trump is "devolving" before our eyes)
Ignoramus (Paul Krugman)
Unfit (Douglas Brinkley)
Hot Mess (Matt Drudge)
Unstable and Incompetent (Bob Corker)
Repugnant (David Letterman)
Crackpot (Bernie Shine)
Primo Tool (Stephen Colbert)
Big Bother (a pun on Big Brother)
Libel Bully (American Bar Association)
The Big Lummox (Garrison Keillor)
Controversy-Addicted Wingnut Trump (John Earls)
Unhinged Self-Adoring Demagogue (New York Daily News)
A piece of SHIT and an embarrassment to humankind (Reza Aslan)
Master of Disaster (CNN)
Trump the Usurper (J. Robert Smith)
The Unraveler (Gabriel Sherman)
The Bigotry Emboldener (George W. Bush)
The Peter Principle Incarnate
The Bigliest Loser
The Pardonizer
The Ham-Handed Amateur (James Thurber)
The Hysteric (Vladimir Putin rebuked the Trump administration's "hysteria")
The Loss Leader
Hurricane Donald (the perfect storm of arrogance, ignorance and intolerance)
U Bum (LeBron James)
Mr. Brexit-Plus (Donald Trump)
Soulless Coward and Pathological Liar (Gregg Popovich)
Simple-Minded War Maniac (Ri Yong Hui)
Foolish Maniac with No Common Sense to be Beaten with a Stick (Ri Won Gil)
Garbage Snout (Rodong Sinmun)
Abyss of Doom (Korean Central News Agency)
Golf Links Gangster (Kim Jong Un)
Giant Gold Goliath (Robert Mugabe)
Tax-and-Spend Trump
Whiny-Ass Bitch (Bill Maher)
POTUS ↔ (Toilet) POT U.S.
Hocus Pocus POTUS (Michael R. Burch)
IMPOTUS (George Conway)
FAUXTUS
Smarm Bro
The Pariah (Kevin Durant said "We don't f*ck with him.")
The Cruelest and Pettiest President Ever (George Takei)
The Colossal Scandal (David Remnick)
The Backstabber (now Sessions, Spicer, et al, know what Trump really means when he says "I have your back!")
Pale Derider
The EmbarrA$$ment
American Grandstand
President Perk
The Fringe Benefiter (Michael R. Burch)
The Recusant
The Term Limiter (Trump seems intent on forcing impeachment sooner rather than later)
The Flip Flopper
Loser (Dan Rather)

Baron von Muchpoutin'
Baron von Muchfloutin'
Baron von Muchengropen
Lord of the Lies
The Queens Quisling

President Tons of Fun (Michael Che, SNL)
Rotting Haystack Made of Meat (Stephen Colbert)
Melting Hunk of Uninformed Apricot Jello (Samantha Bee)
Crotch-Fondling Slab of Rancid Meatloaf (Samantha Bee)
Sixteen-Month Hindenburg Explosion (Samantha Bee)
Tub of Fermented Pig Lard
The Great Orange Man-Booby
Moby Prick (the Grate White Human Whale with a hyperactive blowhole)
The Incredible Bulk

The Alt-Right Uniter (Nazis are "fine people." Really? If it's wrong to oppose Nazis, why did we fight WWII?)
The Alt-White Delighter
The Albino RINO (Michael R. Burch)
Orange Supremacist (Samantha Bee)
MAN WITH A KLAN (The New Yorker)
The Grand Lizard
The Daily Stormer
The Sturm und Drang Haranguer (Michael R. Burch)

Con-doofus
Evil Con-Evil
The Utterly Untruthful President (Bob Corker)
Con Artist (Marco Rubio)
Faker Trump (Ruth Bader Ginsberg)
The Flimflam Man
The Illusionist (the Drudge Report called it an "illusion" that Trump is a conservative)
The Ameri-Con President (as in: "Can the Con!")
The Serial Shiller
The Huckster
Delusional Donald
Anti-Truth Trump
The Fearful Earful

The Supreme Sexist (Barbara Res, a former Trump employee)
Thrice-Married Foul-Mouthed Tit Judge (Samantha Bee)
Wall Choke Artist (Hillary Clinton)
Deranged Animal (Alyssa Mastromonaco)
El Charlatán (Papo Christian)
Arsonist-in-Chief
The Crooklyn Cuck
El Cid Vicious
Sir Prancealot
Sir Farcical
The Creepy Crawler (Hillary Clinton said Trump made her skin crawl during their debates)
Atomic Blonde
The Con-Flag-Grate-Shun-Ist (pun on "conflagration")
Mr. Art of the Squeal
Soylent Orange
Vulgarmort
Vulgarmortis
The Hair Apparent of the Whig Party (Michael R. Burch)
The Self-Pardoner (Trump claims he has "complete power" to pardon himself )
The Hair-Braned President (i.e., Trump's brain is apparently composed of the fuzzy layers of his 'do)
The Tweetstormer
The Filly Buster (Trump wants to eliminate the filibuster so that he can deny rights and healthcare to Americans)
The Lowest Common Dominator
The Holey Trinity (Trump is an unholy Trinity of "me, myself and I")
The Human Abortion (Mike Fernandez)
The Fecal Point (Trump is the focal point only because he keeps exposing his enormous ass in public)

Trump acronyms: POTUS (Putin-Puppet of the United States), SCROTUS (So-Called Ruler of the United States, by Elayne Boosler), BLOTUS (Biggest Loser of the United States), DONALD (Dangerously Outrageous Nincompoop and Lady Diddler), TRUMP (The Real Undercover Manchurian President), S.O.S. (Son of Satan), D.U.M.B. (Deplorable Useless Man-Baby) and D.U.D. (DANGEROUSLY UNHINGED DONALD)

More Trump nicknames: The Wilting Wallflower, The Snapper (Garrison Keillor), The Tapp Dancer, Tapp-Drunk Trump, Donald Dork, The Smug Mug Thug, Tweet-aholic Trump, Twitter Troll Trump (Marlow Stern), Tempest in a Tea Party Pot, Trumpochka, The Conswervative, The Cover-Up Artist, The Brazen Moron, the Con-Troll-er, Marvell's Ultimate Villain, Unkempt Troll Doll (Anna Merlan), Arrogant Asshole (Cher), Walking Cliché (Ian Flitoff), Gasbag (Tom Hanks), Walking Birth Control Ad (SNL), Putin's American Distributor (Keith Olbermann), Boss Hogg Trump, THE POST-WEST PRESIDENT (Sergey Lavrov), The Organ Grinder, Resident Rump, The Trumpster, Yalta II: the End of NATO (General Wesley Clark), Putin's BBF, Tweet Bait (Hillary Rodham Clinton), Tweet Twit, Twitter Twit, Unstable Cable Mogul, Low-Bar Limbo King, Human Vermin, The Trumpinator, The Strike-Out King, Under-Endowed Dick Tater, Double Downer, King of Chaos, Crony Capitalist (Sarah Palin), The Conspiracy Errorist, Capricious Authoritarian Monarch (Dan Rather), KKK-Mart Caesar, The Rust Belt's Revenge (David Von Drehle), The Mad Hombre, Deplorable Donald, The Wizard of Ahs, Jaundiced Pinocchio

Nicknames of Trump's Family, Friends, Cabinet, Lapdogs and A$$ociates


Rudy Giuliani: Trudy, Broody, Rudy Ghouliani, Julianne, Trump's TV Lawyer (Lawrence O'Donnell)

Steve K. Bannon: My Steve (Donald Trump), Loose Cannon Bannon, Deceivin' Steven, Darth Bannon, Gríma Wormtongue, Trump's Eminence Grise (David A. Graham), The Grim Reaper (SNL), Sloppy Steve (Donald Trump)

Lindsey Graham: Flimsy Lindsey, Senator Grahamnesty (Rush Limbaugh), Graham Cracker

Roger Stone: Roger Rabid (Michael R. Burch), Dirty Trickster (Elizabeth Burke), Roger the Artless Dodger

Mike Pence: The Clown Prince, The Stepford Veep (Omarosa), Trump's Poodle (George F. Will), Out of the Loop Dupe (USA Today), Dense Pence, Senseless Pence, Fat Termite, Uber-Pious Pence (Daily Kos), The Vice Antichrist

James Mattis: Mad Dog, Warrior Monk, Mad Monk, Chaos (his call-sign)

Rush Limbaugh: The Human Hindenburg, Flush Limbaugh, Rush Dim-Bulb, Lush Dim Blah, Junkie, Limbaugh Cheese, The Rushian, Rushbo, Douche Rimjob

John Dowd: Dowdy Dowd, Howdy Dowdy, Porta-John, Asleep at the Wheel (Steve Bannon)

Robert Lighthizer: Bob Light, Light Thighs, Spear Tipper (Steve Bannon)

Mick Mulvaney Nicknames: Mr. Moneybags, Trump's Enabler, Mick the Prick, Mick Vain

Charles Gillespie: Swamp Thing (Steve Bannon), Jittery Republican Incumbent (Breitbart)

All Donald Trump Nicknames A-Z in Roughly Alphabetical Order, with Our Favorites in Bold

70-Year-Old Toddler — Charles M. Blow
The Abominable Showman
Agent Orange — Anonymous (possibly the hacker group?)
Agent of Deranged Change
Alpha Codger
Alpha Groper
Alpha Ignoramus
The Alpha Male Crybaby — George F. Will
Alpha Molester
Alpha Moron
The American Dauphin — Michael R. Burch
America's Black Mole — John Oliver
America's Burst Appendix — Samantha Bee
Amnesty Don — Joe Scarborough and Steve Bannon
Angry Cheeto
Angry Creamsicle — Stephen Colbert
Antichrist — (see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
A$$aulter-in-Chief — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
A$$hole
Baby Fingers Trump — Michael R. Burch
Mr. Backdoor
Bag of Toxic Sludge
Baldfaced Crier
Barbecued Brutus
Barbarian at the Debate — Charles M. Blow
The Bare-Assed Embarrasser
John Baron and John Barron — Donald Trump (pseudonyms he used to brag about his sexual exploits)
Barrel-Shouting Meatball Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
Belladonald — Belladonna is known as "deadly nightshade" and the "Devil's berry"
Big Baby — Lewis Black
The Big Cheeto
Big Donald — Marco Rubio (revised to Pig Donald by feminists)
The Bilious Billionaire
Birther Maniac
Bizarro Bozo — Michael R. Burch
Bling the Merciless — Michael R. Burch
Blitzkrieg Bozo — Michael R. Burch
Blowhard
John Boehner's Tanning Partner in Crime
Boiled Ham in a Wig — Jon Stewart
Boldfinger — Michael R. Burch
Boss Tweet
The Bouffant Buffoon — Michael R. Burch
The Boychurian Candidate — Michael R. Burch (a pun on "The Manchurian Candidate")
The Boy Spout
The Boy Sprout
The Buoy Scout (Michael R. Burch)
The Boy Lout
Boys 'R Us — Michael R. Burch
Bozo
Bratman
Brat-Worst — Michael R. Burch (after Trump called Germans "very, very bad" for selling cars in the US)
The Brooklyn Bolshevik ― Michael R. Burch
Bully Boy — Mike Rubio
Bumbledore
Bush Baby — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Bushman — Michael R. Burch, after Trump bragged about groping bush to Billy Bush
The Bushmaster
Butternut Squash — Trevor Noah
Cancer in a Wig — Trevor Noah
Captain Chaos — NBC News
Captain Outrageous — Michael R. Burch (a pun on Captain Courageous)
Captain Tantastic
The Chaos Candidate — Jeb Bush
Cheddar Boy
Cheez Doodle — Maureen Dowd
Cheez Whiz — John Oliver
Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator
Cheeto-in-Chief — Frank Vyan Walton
Cheeto Jesus — Rick Wilson
Chicken Donald — Martin O'Malley
Child Emperor — Tom Scharpling
Cinnamon Hitler — Trevor Noah
Chickenhawk — Because Trump dodged the Vietnam War yet portrays himself as a war hawk
The Climate Primate — Michael R. Burch
Clown Prince of Politics
Clown Prince of Poliwits
The Colossal Scandal — David Remnick
Comedy Entrapment — Jon Stewart
Commander-in-Grief
Comrade Cheetolino
Comrade Trumputin
Condoofus — Michael R. Burch
Conigula — Michael R. Burch
Con-Dike Gold Rush
Corn Husk Doll Cursed by a Witch — Chris Hardwick
The Cowardly Lyin'
Crybaby Trump — Jeff Kanew
Creep Throat — Seth Meyers
Cultural Punch Line — Tom Scharpling
Daddy Warbucks
Daddy Whorebucks — richismo
The Daft Draft Dodger
Dainty Donald
Damien Trump
Damn Turd Pol — anagram
Dangerous Donald — Hillary Clinton
Darkness Incarnate
Dorkness Incarnate
Darth eVader and Darth TaxeVader
Darth Goldplater — Michael R. Burch
Darth Hater
DDT
Deadbeat Donald — Dan Rather
Decomposing Jack O'Lantern — Graydon Carter, Jon Stewart
The Definer
Dehydrated Orange Peel — Libby Inman
Demander-in-Chief — Michael R. Burch
Der Groepenfuehrer
Der Trumpkopf
Diaper Donald — Kevin Cavanaugh
Dickhead
Dingbat Donald
Dire Abby — Michael R. Burch (a pun on "Dear Abby" because Trump tweets relationship advice, but it's usually dire)
Dirty Don
Dishonest Don
The Disruptor
The Dick Tater
DJT
Doddering Donald — Venice Sense on Daily Kos
Dodgy Donald — CrumblingSlowly
Don the Con — Marc Bauer
Don Dementia
The Donald — Ivana Trump (in a 1989 Spy Magazine cover story)
Donald deGonad
Donald the Deadbeat — Dan Rather
Donald Dingbat
Donald Dipshit
Donald Dodo
The Donaldmeister
Donald Doom
The Donimator
Donald Douchebag
Donald Drumpf — John Oliver
Donald Drunk
Donald Duck Doo-Doo
Donald Ducknuke
Donald Dump
Donald the Menace
Donald Tax-Duck — John Joseph Ribovich
Don Goner
Donnie Bratso
Donnie Darko
Donnie Dorko
Donnie Tic Tac
Donny — SNL's Church Lady (Dana Carvey)
Donnybaby
Donnyboy
Donnybrook
Don of Orange
Douchebag von Fuckface — Bill Maher
Drainman
The DREAMcrusher
Dr. Strangelove
D.U.D. ― Michael R. Burch (for "Dangerously Unhinged Donald" by Glenn "Emotional Fescue" Beck)
Duke Nuke 'Em
Dumbelldore
Dumbo — Grace Taylor
The Dumpster — pun on Trumpster and "Dump Trump"
Ego Maniac
The Emperor with no Balls — Graffiti found on naked statues of Trump
The Emperor with no Clothes
Evil — Gloria Reed
Failed Mail-Order Meat Salesman — Ashley Feinberg, for Trump Steaks
The Fanta Fascist
Fat Blabby — Lewis Black
Fatso Bratso ― Michael R. Burch
Fearmonger-in-Chief ― Rolling Stone
The Feeb — George F. Will ("a feeble president")
Felonious Punk ― Michael R. Burch
Feral Shouting Meatball Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
Field Marshall Trump
Fifth Avenue Fraud
Fifth Avenue Freeze-Out (for trying to deny vets the right to street vend on Fifth Avenue)
Financially Embattled Thousandaire — Gail Collins
Flat Top — Trump's boyhood nickname
Flipper
Flip Flopper
The Fomentor — Trevor Noah
The Fomentalist
Forrest Trump
The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse (after George W. Bush, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann)
Foxymoron ― Michael R. Burch
Fragile Soul — Ted Cruz
Fraud — Bernie Sanders
The Fraud-U-Lent President
Frisker-in-Chief
Frisky Frisker — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Fruit of the Loom — for looming over Hillary Clinton at their second debate
Fuckface von Clownstick — Jon Stewart
The Gender Blender
The Gender Defender
Genghis Can't and Genghis Cant — Michael R. Burch (because unlike Genghis Khan, he can't rule the world, making his promises mere cant)
Genghis Con — Michael R. Burch
The Germinator (Trump hates to shake hands, fearing germs)
God's Gift to Comedy—Jerry Seinfeld
Godzilla with Less Foreign Policy Experience — Stephen Colbert
Gold Faithful — Michael R. Burch
The Gold Flake
Golden Wrecking Ball — Sarah Palin
Government Expander — Glen Beck
Gossamer-Skinned Bully — Graydon Carter
Grandpa Fucko — Kyle Bunch
The Great Gropesby — Michael R. Burch
The Great Gutsby — Michael R. Burch
The Great White Dope
Groper Cleave Hand — Michael R. Burch
Grope Dope
Groper-in-Chief — Nicholas Kristof (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Halfwit Tweet Twit
Hair Apparent of the Whig Party — Michael R. Burch
Hair Furor — pun on Herr Führer
Hair Hitler — pun on Herr Hitler
Hair Hitler and the Whigs — Michael R. Burch
Head Twit
Herr Führer Trump
Herr Lugenpresse Dan Rather
Herr Trump
His Sicko-Fancy ― pun on "sycophancy"
Hissy-Fit Hitler Elizabeth Harris Burch aka Ladydragyn
Hissy-Fit Hypocrite
Human Abortion ― Mike Fernandez
Human Amplifier
Human Combover
Human Corncob — Erin L. Cody
Human Bullhorn — Jim Newell in Slate
Human-Toupee Hybrid — Stephen Colbert
Humble — Donald Trump's ironic choice for a Secret Service codename
Humble Trump — Eric Trump
The Hunchback of Notre Shame — Michael R. Burch
Hurricane Donald ― Jeff Singer
Hypocritic Oaf — Michael R. Burch
Immigrant-Bashing Fascist Carnival Barker — Martin O'Malley
In-Vet-Irate Liar — for claiming to "support" vets while trying to sweep them from NYC streets
The ISIS Candidate
Jack the Gripper — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Job Security (for Comedians) ― Jimmy Kimmel
Keeper of the Golden Commode ― Michael R. Burch
Kelly's Zero
Killer Klown
King of Debt
King of Queens
King Leer
King of Sleaze
King of Spin
King of the WhoppersUSA Today
King Trump
King Tut — His insults make billions of people go "Tut, tut, tut!"
King Twit
K-Mart Caesar
Lady Fingers Trump — Don C. Reed
The Lamé Duck President
Sir Leakalot ― Michael R. Burch
Lenin's Gremlin — Michael R. Burch
Le Petit Prince Daisyfingers — Michael R. Burch
Little Donnie Diaperpants ― Michael R. Burch
Liddle Donnie Ladydiddler — Michael R. Burch
Loosin' Donald — Ted Cruz
Lord Dampnut — anagram
Lord Voldemort — Rosie O'Donnell
The Lowlife
The Low Light
The Lowest Common Dominator ― Michael R. Burch
Lurch
Machado Meltdown — Hillary Clinton
The Madness of King Gorge ― Michael R. Burch
The Mad Shambler
Man-Baby — Jon Stewart
The Mandarin Candidate
Mango Mussolini
Master Debater
Meathead — John Joseph Ribovich
MEGA-low-maniac
Mein Furor — Murfster35 on DailyKos
Melania's Burden — Vanity Fair
Meltaway in Human Form
The Michelangelo of Ballyhoo — David Von Drehle in his TIME cover article
John Miller — Donald Trump (a pseudonym he used to brag about his sexual exploits in the third person)
Mogul — his Secret Service code name
Moneydiaper McStupid — Nick Musgrave
Mr. Brexit — Donald Trump
Mr. Firepants
Mr. Inappropriate
Mr. Boinker Oinker
Mr. Macho — Bernie Sanders
Mr. Meltdown
Mr. Trickle Down ― Michael R. Burch
The Man of Steal — Trump hotels have been built with illegally-imported Chinese steel
Mr. Meticulous — Trump's military academy nickname (he folded his underwear into neat squares)
Mr. Wiggy Piggy — Michael R. Burch
Mussolini's Taint — Kyle Bunch
Narcissistic Human Airhorn — Chris Hardwick
The New Furor — Pun on Führer
New York Dork
New York Pork Dork — Michael R. Burch (because Trump's companies have feasted on government subsidies and tax breaks)
No More Donald — Elizabeth Warren
Octopussy Groper
Ole King Coal — Michael R. Burch
Optimus Grime — Michael R. Burch
Orange Anus — Rosie O'Donnell
Orange Bozo
Orange Caligula — Victoria
Orange Clown
Orange Crush
Orange Julius — A pun on the fruit drink chain and Julius Caesar
Orange Man
Orange Manatee — Stephen Colbert
Orange Moron
Orange Oligarch
Orange Slug — Rosie O'Donnell
Orange-Tufted War Troll — Michael R. Burch
OranguTAN
Orange-Vanilla ISIS — Michael R. Burch
Pander Bear
Pander Hair — Elizabeth Harris Burch
Party Pooper — Trump poops on his own party
Peripatetic Political Showman — The Fiscal Times
Persimmon Satan — Michael R. Burch
Pile of Old Garbage Covered in Vodka Sauce — Trevor Noah
The Puerile Sophomoric Sniveler — Charles M. Blow
Pig Donald — a variation of Big Donald adapted by feminists
Political Gutterball — Michael R. Burch
The Poll Cat — Michael R. Burch
Poor Donald — Hillary Clinton
Poster Child of American Decline — Robert Spencer
POTUS WRECKS — Michael R. Burch
The Predictable Endpoint of Republicanism — Charles M. Blow
President Blabbermouth
President Gold Man Sucks
The Presumptuous Nominee — Hillary Clinton
Prima Donald
Prima Donna
Primate Donald
Pudgy McTrumpcake
Puffed Up Daddy
Putin's Bitch
Putin's C*ck-Holster — Stephen Colbert
Putin's Gambit — Michael R. Burch
Putin's Lapdog
Putin's Pet
Putin's Poppet ― Michael R. Burch
Putin's Puppet
Putin's Rasputin
Putin's Useful Idiot
Quasi-Dodo ― Michael R. Burch
Queens' Reich
Rabble-Rousing Demagogue — John Cassidy
Remander-in-Chief
Republican Rapture Inducer

Riptide of RegressionDan Rather
Ronald McDonald Trump-Bozo — Michael R. Burch
The Russian Mole
The Scattershot Autocrat
Screaming Carrot Demon — Samantha Bee
Scrooge Grinch McGrump — Michael R. Burch
Scrooge McTrump
The Self-Impeacher
The Self-Immolater
Semi-Sentient Bag of Farts
The Serial Feeler — pun on "serial killer" (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
The Serial Liar
Sexual-Predator-in-Chief
Shark Dressed Man-Boy — Michael R. Burch
The Shillsbury Doughboy — Michael R. Burch
Shitler
The Silver Spoon Scion — Charles M. Blow
Sir Pissalot ― Michael R. Burch
Sir Pissypanties ― Michael R. Burch
Sir Sissypants
Snake Oil Salesman — Rosie O'Donnell
Sniffles — after Trump sniffled like a cocaine addict during a debate
The So-Called President — LeBron James
Sociopathic 70-Year-Old Toddler — Samantha Bee
The Son King (Trump's father made him rich; pun on "Sun King")
The Shun King
The Stun King
Sparkly Princess Trumpelina — Michael R. Burch
The Spittle-Flecked Simpleton
The Spin King

The Spinster and The Sinister Spinster
Stalin's Paladin
The Stumblebum
Stuporman — Michael R. Burch
Super Callous Fragile Racist Extra Braggadocios
The Surreal Donald Trump
Talking Yam
Tan Dump Lord — anagram
Tanning Bed Warning Label
Tangerine Jesus
Tangerine Tornado — SNL's Church Lady (Dana Carvey)
Teflon Don
Terminator Trump
Terroristic Man-Toddler — Charles M. Blow
Thief-in-Chief
Thinskinned Skinflint ― Michael R. Burch
Tic-Tac-Dough — Michael R. Burch
Tic-Tacky Trump
Tie-Coon
The Tin-Pot Despot — Nicholas Kristof
Tiny Hands Trump
The Transgender Rearender ― Michael R. Burch
Toxic Fungi ― Charles M. Blow
Transender Trump (Trump transcends decency by making himself the ender of equality for transgenders)
Tricky Trump
Tricky Don Trump — after Tricky Dick Nixon
Trotsky's Triumph
T-Rump
Trumpalump
Trumpamaniac
Trumparius — Nate Silver
Trump Card
The Trumpet — Trump's boyhood nickname
Trump of Doom — Michael R. Burch (first used in a Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
Trumpdozer — TIME Magazine
Trumpelstiltskin — Joy Behar
Trumpelthinskin
Trumpenstein
Trumpinator
Trumpledore
Trumpletoes
Trumpling Dildo
Trumpmeister
Trumpocalypse — Markos Moulitsas
Trumpster
Trumptastrophe — Chris McKay
Trumpthechumps
Truthophobic Trump — Elizabeth Harris Burch
Tsar Ridickulous — by Michael R. Burch (a pun on Tsar Nicholas)
Tsarzan — by Michael R. Burch (first used on Facebook and in a Tweet on July 16, 2017)
Twat Twit
Tweet Twit
Tweety
Tweety Blurred — Michael R. Burch
Twinkiefingers Trump
Twinklefingers Trump
Twitter-Drunk Donald — a Bush aide
The Twitter Flitterbug
The Twitter Flitterer
The Twitter Spitter
The Twitter Terror
Twittler
Two-Bit Caesar — Bill Kristol
TyRANTosaurus Wrecks — Michael R. Burch
Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole — Jon Stewart
The Unprecedented President
Unreality King
Vanilla ISIS
The Vet Evictor
The Viagra Dough Boy
Voldemort ― Rosie O'Donnell
Walking Punchline
Weak Donald — Trevor Noah
The Wear Wolf of Wall Bleat — Michael R. Burch
The West Wing-Nut — Michael R. Burch
Whiny Little Bitch — Bill Maher
The White Kanye ― Bill Maher
Widdle Donnie Diaperpants ― Michael R. Burch
The Winning Whiner — Trump said he "wins" by whining
World's Greatest Troll — Nate Silver
The Wrath of Con — Michael R. Burch
Xenophobic Sweet Potato Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
YUGE Stooge
The Zen Master of Hate
The Zookeeper ― That's quite a menagerie Trump's keeping in the White House!
The Zodiac Biller ― Michael R. Burch (Trump and his father overbilled the U.S. government)

Related pages: Famous Nicknames, Donald Trump Nicknames, Melania Trump Nicknames, Jared Kushner Nicknames, Ivanka Trump Nicknames, Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames, Eric Trump Nicknames, Mark Meadows Nicknames, Anthony Scaramucci Nicknames, Mitch McConnell Nicknames, Jeff Sessions Nicknames, Steve Bannon Nicknames, Sarah Huckabee Sanders Nicknames, Judge Roy Moore Nicknames, Kellyanne Conway Nicknames, Paul Ryan Nicknames, Hope Hicks Nicknames, Joe Arpaio Nicknames, Stephen Miller Nicknames, Sean Spicer Nicknames, Devin Nunes Nicknames, Michael Cohen Nicknames, Sam Nunberg Nicknames, Mike Pompeo Nicknames, Mike Pence Nicknames, Marsha Blackburn Nicknames, Diane Black Nicknames, Brett Kavanaugh Nicknames, Matt Whitaker Nicknames, John Kelly Nicknames, Mick Mulvaney Nicknames, James Mattis Nicknames, Ann Coulter Nicknames, Rush Limbaugh Nicknames, Rudy Giuliani Nicknames, Roger Stone Nicknames, William Barr Nicknames, Kayleigh McEnany Nicknames, Tom Cotton Nicknames, Donald Trump Cabinet Nicknames, Donald Trump Cronies and Lapdogs, Trump 45 Nicknames, Ted Cruz Nicknames, Marco Rubio Nicknames, Mitt Romney Nicknames, Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?, The Donald Trump Bible, The Best Donald Trump Puns, Donald Trump Limericks, The Best Donald Trump Insults, Fact-Checking Trump, Donald Trump Funny Campaign Slogans and Parodies, Donald Trump Halloween Ideas, Donald Trump Poetry, Donald Trump Inauguration Poetry Donald Trump Curtsy or Bow?, Ten Reasons to "Fire" Donald Trump, Donald Trump Violence Quotes, Trump Trivia, Is there a Republican War on Women?, Conservatives Who Support Gay Marriage, 2016 Republican Debate, Ted Cruz Quotes, The Best Ted Cruz Jokes, The Best Donald Trump Russia Jokes, Trump Christmas, The Wit, Wisdom and Very Impressive Vocabulary of Donald J. Trump, Donald Trump Sexism Timeline/Chronology, Donald Trump Fears, The Best Donald Trump Epigrams, Did Sir Walter Raleigh Prophesy Donald Trump?, Donald Trump Russia Quotes Donald Trump Russia Gog Magog, Donald Trump Hypocrisy, Donald Trump vs. Ronald Reagan, Trackdown Trump: Did a 1958 TV Show Predict Trump?

The HyperTexts