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Donald Trump Nicknames
Trump Family/Friends/Associates/Lapdog Nicknames

Welcome to the largest online collection of Trump-related nicknames, puns and jokes—all completely free and without annoying ads (we too loathe pop-ups). Now you can astound your friends and confound your political foes with the perfect nicknames for every occasion! Trump nicknames range from A to Z, from Agent Orange to the Zodiac Biller. Our favorites include Putin's Puppet, Hair Hitler, Hair Fuhrer, The New Furor, Adolph Twitler, Tweety, Tsarzan, King Gorge, Conigula, Gingervitis and Dire Abby. There are "superhero" nicknames like Bratman, Stuporman, Captain Shamerica and The Super Duper. But perhaps no nickname captures the "surreal Donald Trump" better than Donald Drumpf and Drumpfkopf. You can employ your browser's search feature or use CTRL-F to find nicknames for Trump's family, friends and lapdogs such as Melanoma (Melania Trump), Proxy Wife (Ivanka Trump), Aide de Kampf (Jared Kushner), Wrongway Conway (Kellyanne Conway), Koch Addict (Mike Pompeo/Mitch McConnell), Cruella DeVile (Betsy DeVos), Paul Ruin (Paul Ryan), Detourney General (Jeff Sessions) and HUD Ornament (Ben Carson). We also have Trump family nicknames like The Brooklyn Hillbullies and Trump administration nicknames like Moscow on the Hudson, the Ogle Office and The White Supremacist House, so please prepare to be entertained!

Donald Trump is now ahead of Hillary Clinton in the polls. This was just reported in The Washington Post, and 2,000 years ago in the Book of Revelation. ― Conan O'Brien

Let's get this straight: Trump releases the Nunes memo and the stock market immediately crashes 666 points. The federal budget deficit Trump's first fiscal year was 666 billion dollars. Trump's family owns 666 Fifth Avenue, a street symbolic of money (Mammon). The Trump Tower is 203 meters tall, or 666 feet high. On the Ides of March, Trump had 666 delegates. He was born on a blood moon. His ancestor who started the Trump family business died on 6-6-6. Her name was Elizabeth Christ Trump. Elizabeth means "oath" so her name can be interpreted as "oath for Christ to be trumped." Is it just me, or are we living in a real-life Omen movie?

The Top Ten Donald Trump Nicknames

(#1) THE ANTICHRIST — when the prophets spoke of the "Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking literally? (For a YUGE slew of 666 connections, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
(#2) Short-Fingered Vulgarian — by Graydon Carter (a nickname Trump hates because he thinks it implies that he's under-endowed "down there")
(#3) Agent Orange — by Anonymous (a lethal product of deMonsanto and DonSatan)
(#4) Golden Wrecking Ball — by Sarah Palin (who was not trying to be funny)
(#5) Fuckface von Clownstick, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole (the UNAbomber?) — by Jon Stewart
(#6) The White Kanye ― by Bill Maher (or is Trump more accurately the Yellow-ish-Orange Kanye?)
(#7) Lord Voldemort, Orange Anus and Snake Oil Salesman — by Rosie O'Donnell
(#8) The Trump of Doom — by Michael R. Burch (adopted from the Bible and first used in a possibly prophetic Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
(#9) The White Pride Piper — Trump is the poster boy for the "Make AmeriKKKa Grate Again" movement of white supremacists, neo-nazis and skinheads
(#10) Man-Baby — by Jon Stewart (this one inspired an avalanche of jokes and similar nicknames; for instance, Robert De Niro called Trump "our Baby-in-Chief")

This sad, embarrassing wreck of a man-baby. — George F. Will

The picture above―the earliest known image of The Donald―is evidence that he was suckled in Emperor Palpatine’s romper room. Now in the American Game of Thrones, he is Donald Littlefinger, a master of lies, deceit, treachery and treason.

He' a Man-Baby. He has the physical countenance of a man, and a baby's temperament and tiny hands. ― Jon Stewart

I'm sick of being a Wet Nurse for a seventy-one-year-old. ― Steve Bannon

Trump has run through his nannies at a frightening pace: Steve Bannon, Reince Priebus, Rex Tillerson, John Kelly ... now it's down to Scary Poppins, aka Mick Mulvaney. But the first time Mick messes up, he'll be forevermore known as Nanny Boo-Boo!

A zoomed out version of the same photograph shows Trump boarding the plane on January 2

Call him Fragile Man and Fragile Psyche after Trump tweeted "Wasn't I a great candidate!" while the nation mourned the deaths of 17 children in the Parkland, Florida high school shooting. While visiting the devastated community Trump was photographed grinning and flashing thumbs-up signs, so call him Mr. Inappropriate. Later he had to be reminded, via a cheat sheet, to tell the student survivors, "I hear you." A few days later, the slaughtered students apparently forgotten, Trump hammed it up at CPAC, saying "everything is wonderful" while praising the NRA and leading cheers for the Second Amendment. Then as the frightened child survivors marched for their lives, Trump took yet another golf vacation, so call him The Bogeyman. Trump is also The Hollow Man, after this statement by the publishers of AGNI: "We collectively refuse to accept this hollowing out of who and what we are."

The president has zero psychological ability to recognize empathy or pity in any way. former White House chief of staff Reince Priebus

He’s an idiot. It’s pointless to try to convince him of anything. He’s gone off the rails. We’re in Crazytown.
departing White House chief of staff John Kelly

Trump is a "terrible human being."
acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney

Folks, this is what Trump's nannies say about him. Before Trump, the White House chief of staff was someone who respected and represented the president. With Trump the position is very different and the main goal is to try to keep him from going completely off the rails. For instance, by hiding dangerous things he intends to sign, until he forgets about them!

Oldies But Goodies

Don the Con, The Wrath of Con, and Conigula
Bratman, Stuporman, Captain Shamerica and The Super Duper
Captain Chaos (NBC)
Cadet Bone Spurs (Tammy Duckworth)
The Lyin' King

The news is real. The president is fake. — Stephen King

The Wall Nut

Trump wants us to believe that his wall is "real" and "being built." In reality a few preexisting fences have been repaired and/or upgraded. But Congress has not funded an actual wall because Trump swore to the American people that Mexico would pay for the wall. Was Trump lying through his teeth to get elected or is he just crazy as a loon? ... Ooops, I take it back! Trump has built an impassable wall after all — the Democratic resistance!

Angry Creamsicle (Stephen Colbert)
Screaming Carrot Demon (Samantha Bee)
Cheeto Benito and Cheato Benito
Hair Hitler, Hair Führer, Hair Furor Trump, The New Furor, Adolph Twitler and Shitler
Donald Drumpf (his real name, per John Oliver and other sources) and Drumpfkopf
Creep Throat (Seth Meyers)

Donald Trump is his own Deep Throat. He's Creep Throat. ― Seth Meyers

Tiny Hand Sir (Stephen Colbert)
Tweety and the Twits (Michael R. Burch)

Dishonorable Mention Nicknames: Le Petite Pee Pee, Orange Julius (The Nation), Cheeto Jesus (Rick Wilson), Tangerine Tornado (Dana Carvey), The World's Greatest Troll (Nate Silver), Trumplethinskin, Prima Donald, Vanilla ISIS

Trump Russian Collusion Nicknames

Putin's Puppet
Putin's Poppet
Putin's Rasputin
Putin's Dupe (DailyKos)
Comrade Trumputin (Michael R. Burch)
The Brooklyn Bolshevik (Michael R. Burch)
Polezni Durak (Russian for "Useful Idiot")
Putin's Useful Fool (ex-CIA director Michael Hayden)
Unwitting Russian Agent (ex-CIA director Michael Morrell)
The Idiot (FBI agents assigned to the Russia investigation)
Goddamn Dumbell and F---ing Liar (John Dowd, Trump's personal attorney for the Russian collusion case)
The Moron (ex-Secretary of State Rex Tillerson)
The Kompromat (ex-CIA Director John McLaughlin says Trump was compromised by Mr. Putin)
Putin's Asset (James Clapper, former Director of National Intelligence)
Putin's A$$et (Michael Steele, former Chairman of the Republican National Committee)

That's how a press conference sounds when an Asset stands next to his Handler.—Michael Steele

Treasonous Trump (Steve Bannon said the Trump Tower meeting with Russian agents was treasonous)
Donny Moscow (Rob Hoadley)
Tsarzan (Michael R. Burch)
Tsar Baby (pun on "tar baby" after Jim Himes said Trump tarred the reputations of US intelligence agencies)
Suite 'n Low (Rachel Maddow after Trump offered his master Putin a free $50 million penthouse)
The Russian Project

Trump is as much a Russian project as an American president.—Charles M. Blow

The Grand Collusionist
President Pee-Pee le Pew
Jailbird (Adam Schiff says Trump may face jail time)
Pinhead Pinocchio (Michael R. Burch)

The Washington Post gave Trump its Bottomless Pinocchio award for claiming 86 times that his imaginary wall is being "built." In reality Congress has not approved the funds required to build a real wall, nor has Mexico agreed to pay for it (another frequent Trump lie). Trump has also lied about Russia repeatedly, claiming one day that he "knows" Putin and they're very good friends, then claiming the next day that he doesn't know Putin and has absolutely nothing to do with him or Russia, even though Donald Trump Jr. once bragged that the Trumps had money "pouring" in from Russia and golf reporter James Dodson said Eric Trump told him that the Trumps no longer needed to borrow money from American banks to finance golf courses because they got all the money they needed from Russia!

NOTE: After our captioned pictures of Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper, there are literally thousands of Donald Trump nicknames sorted into categories like Trump 45 Nicknames, Trump Swamp Nicknames, Immature Trump Nicknames, Senile Trump Nicknames, Trump Sexual Assault Nicknames, Trump Coloration Nicknames, Trump Hairdo (and Hair-don't) Nicknames, etc. If you're looking for something in particular, just keep scrolling down and you're sure to find it.

Q: What do you call it when a Man-Baby takes over the American government?
A: Coup d'Tot!

President Donald Trump signed bills in the  Roosevelt Room of the White House on Monday.

The Incredible Shrinking President uses the world's smallest pen and desk to sign his latest Dick-Tater proclamations. The women pictured are nannies beseeching the Boy Blunder to take a nap and stop bullying the world, but the Terroristic Man-Toddler will have none of that! Bratman believes in ACTION! According to CIA Director Mike Pompeo, the mADD Man-Imp prefers his "intelligence" to be delivered with colorful pie charts, maps, pictures, videos and "killer" graphics. In other words, make military intelligence more entertaining, more exciting, more fun ― like a CARTOON! Such is the Boychurian Candidate's latest thought bubble! Fortunately the Combover Kid's undersized hands are too tiny, weak and delicate to key in the nuclear codes, but it's not for his lack of trying to destroy the world!

President Donald Trump holds up his pen after signing the Historically Black Colleges and Universities HBCU Executive Order, Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017, in the Oval Office in the White House in Washington.

Trump's nannies applaud as Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper learns to operate a safety pen with his teeny-tiny fingers. The Brooklyn Brat is certainly proud of his "big boy" accomplishment. But so far no one has been able to potty-train the Boss Baby's mouth (much less his Twitter account)! Liddle Donnie Diaperpants was very excited by his unexpected victory in the 2016 presidential election: "After I had won, everybody was calling me from all over the world! I never knew we had so many countries!" Yes, and now Superbrat can do his three favorite things at the same time: cheat at golf, lie about his golf game, and destroy the world in between putts!

Man-Toddler Trump holds his bottle tightly, with two undersized infant hands, to avoid spills! The septuagenarian Water Boy once belittled Marco Rubio for gulping water in public. But even Rubio the Unready was able to drink water one-handed!

Truant Trump recently had a Starburst Outburst when he threw two pieces of candy at German Chancellor Angela Merkel during one of his temper tantrums. In related news Donald the Menace's new book is titled The Art of the Squeal. It will be followed by The Art of the Feel and The Art of the Appeal.

Steve Bannon compared the Pre-Teen President to an 11-year-old child.

According to George F. Will there is "no adult supervision of the Oval playpen."

General John F. Kelly had a simple explanation for how he became Trump's head nanny: "God punished me!"

To see how Trump fulfills Biblical prophecies, please click the hyperlink.

The Top Ten Trump Sexual Abuse Nicknames

The Serial Feeler — see Donald Trump's War on Women
President Pussygrabber (Keith Olbermann) and President Grabass (SNL's Colin Jost)
Jack the Gripper and Jack the Grip Her
The Great Gropesby (Michael R. Burch)
Hair Gropenfuhre, Der Fuhrer Feltersnatch and Feel Marshall Trump (Michael R. Burch)
Julius Seize Her, Seize Her Disgustus, Mark Anatomy and The Roamin' Seizer (Michael R. Burch)
Edward Seizerhands (Michael R. Burch)
Obergroppenführer (pun on Philip K. Dick's "Obergruppenführer")
Octopussy Groper

He was like an octopus ... his hands were everywhere.Jessica Leeds

Dishonorable Mention: President Weinstein, Donald Douchebag, Sex Pest (BBC), Teenie Weenie Trump, Tiny (Stormy Daniels), Textbook Generic Lay (the ultimate sexual insult, from porn star Stormy Daniels), Sir Grope-a-lot, Sir Hunchalot, Twisted Mister

Hot off the Press: Con Man the Barbarian (Michael R. Burch, after Trump started gassing refugee children at the border)

Call him Gagneto. Trump is the ultimate X-Man because he's putting the X back in Xmas by X-ing out refugee children and their mothers. If baby Jesus and Mary showed up needing shelter, Santa Claws wouldn't provide them with even a lowly manger. Instead, he'd order American soldiers to drive them back into the wilderness at gunpoint. Meanwhile, this is what the Ebenezer Scrooge Grinch McTrump festivities at the White House looked like last year: Trump Christmas.

The House of Gaud is apparently in bed with the rich and powerful House of Saud. After all, someone has to pay for all those expensive golden commodes!

I'm pretty sure this statement is Saudi Arabia First, not America First. — Rand Paul, after Trump announced that he would continue arms sales to the Saudis and their murderous Crown Prince

Trending and Currently Rising Nicknames for Trump, his Administration and his Accomplices

Tariff Man — Donald Trump himself
Proud Shutdown Man — Donald Trump himself
The Boarder Guard — Donald Trump himself, because he can't spell "border"
Benedict Donald — Mark Hamill aka Luke Skywalker

Are you allowed to impeach a president for gross incompetence? — Donald Trump tweet from June 2014
You're about to find out, Benedict Donald! — Mark Hamill

Big Fat Nothing — Tucker Carlson of Fox News
Meshugge (Yiddish for "crazy") — Arnold Schwarzenegger
Mafia Don — James Comey compared Trump to a mafia don
Deeply Insecure Donald — James Comey
The Wicked Witch of the West Wing — Jim Carrey
Old Demon — Emmanuel Macron in reference to the demons of nationalism that led to two World Wars and the Holocaust
Rainman — after Trump failed to honor America's war dead because it was raining!
Calamity Mane — because Trump's hair is a disaster and his actions are worse

"HEAD"-LINE: After Pittsburgh synagogue massacre, Calamity Mane anguishes about having "a bad hair day" then consoles "At least you know it's mine."

"HEAD"-LINE: Calamity Mane has another bad hair day, flees Paris Peace Forum, meets in private with Mr. Putin to plot Armageddon.

Unbalanced Man — Putin's propagandists have no use for Trump these days, calling him "clumsy," "morose," and "defensive"
National Disgrace, the Weakling and Deeply Disturbing Donald — the late great John McCain
The Fearmonger and Tricky Trump — Bob Woodward, who exposed another liar and crook in Tricky Dick Nixon
Tiny, Toadstool Dick and Egotistical Lunatic — by Stormy Daniels, who said "Game on, Tiny!" and noted Trump's "shortcomings"
Henpecked Hubby — after Melania showed who really wears the pants in the family by demanding the head of Mira Ricardel 
The Cave Man — Trump immediately caved to the ICE Queen's imperious command: "Off with her head!" After all, what is national security compared to Melania's seating arrangements?

Melania the Fair wants Mira Ricardel fired for bullying. And she wants her husband impeached for the same reason. — Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Old Yeller — Bernie Shine

How does Melania the Unfair respond to bullying? With public shaming of Mira Ricardel. Meanwhile, Melanoma says and does nothing about her husband's bullying ways. If Ricardel was fired for yelling, what about Old Yeller himself? — Michael R. Burch

The Laughingstock — world leaders, after Trump claimed that he had done more than "almost any administration"
Absolute Joke — Tim Ryan, after Trump claimed to have a "magic wand" for manufacturing on the day GM closed five plants
The Hinternationlist — Michael R. Burch

Trump finally admitted that he's a nationalist. But in his haste to tweet, he left out the word "white." — Michael R. Burch

Crazytown — General John Kelly, the White House Chief of Staff, describing the Trump administration
Zoo Without Walls — Reince Priebus, the former White House Chief of Staff
Dysfunctional Rathole — The New York Times
The Fifth-Grader — General Jim Mattis, the US Defense Secretary, deriding Trump's ignorance on important matters of state
The Synergist — Trump sought "political synergy" with Mr. Putin, aka "treason"
Delusional Donald and Unhinged — Carmen Yulin Cruz, the mayor of San Juan, after Trump claimed the Puerto Rico death toll was "fake news"

Only Donald Trump could see the tragedy in Puerto Rico and conclude that he is the victim. — Massachusetts Senator Ed Markey

The Best Trump Nicknames of Michael R. Burch: Little Horn, The Trump of Doom, The False Profit, The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse, Sir Leakalot, The Human Urinal, Boldfinger, The Holey Roamin' Emperor, TyRANTosaurus Wrecks, The Great Gropesby, The Great Gutsby, The Gaud Father, Conigula, Condoofus, The Wrath of Con, Felonius Punk, Mr. Wiggy Piggy, Comrade Trumputin, Putin's Gambit, Putin's Poppet, Putin's Protégé, Putin's Rasputin, The Brooklyn Bolshevik, Rigger Mortis, The Hot Air Buffoon, E Pluribus Loon 'em, The Snazzy Nazi, Hair Hitler and the Whigs, Genghis Can't, Saddam Le Pompadour, Ole King Coal, The Lyin' King, Foxymoron, Uncle Ream US, The Boychurian Candidate, Malice in Blunderland, Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper, Captain Shamerica, Optimus Grime, The Hypocritic Oaf, The West Wing-Nut, Tweety and the Twits, POTUS WRECKS, Quasi Dodo the Hunchback of Notre Shame, Sparkly Princess Trumpelina, Ronald McDonald Trump-Bozo, The Great White Wail, The Poll Cat, The Tirade Warrior, Mr. Freeze, the ICEman, the vICEman, Dude the Apostate, Dude the Obscure, The Hollow Man (borrowed from Ernest Dowson and T. S. Eliot), Little Donnie Crazydiaper, Conway Tweety, Tribalist Trump, The Hinternationalist, Calamity Mane, The X-Man, Gagneto, Con Man the Barbarian, The Gory Glory Hog, The Synergist

The NRA contributed 30 million blood-soaked dollars to get him elected. That makes Trump and his administration the Not Ready For Prime Time Slayers.

Is Trump as brave as he claims? He's terrified of sharks, eagles, germs, unclean hands, women's body fluids, stairs, slopes, food and blood. Especially blood. Cadet Bone Spurs told Howard Stern that he flees immediately at the sight of blood: "If you cut your finger and there's blood pouring out, I'm gone." To demonstrate how intensely he detests and fears blood, Trump recounted turning his back on an elderly man who had fallen and appeared to be dying. Rather than signaling for medics, Trump complained loudly that the man's "disgusting" blood was staining Mar-a-Lago's immaculate marble floors! Incredibly, Trump now claims that he would have rushed into a bloody hallway to confront a madman armed with an AR-15!

Jake Tapper recently said that Trump has lost his nickname "mojo." We don't think he ever had any "mojo" to lose. Nicknames coined by Trump are typically childish, unimaginative and repetitive: Little Rocket Man (Kim Jong-Un), Liddle' Bob Corker, Liddle' Adam Schiff (Trump apparently has no idea what apostrophes are used for; where's the missing letter?), Little George Stephanopoulos, Little Marco Rubio (quintuple repetitive, so sad!), Al Frankenstien (misspelled, stupid!), Psychopath Ben Carson, Psycho Joe Scarborough (repetitive, weak!), Sloppy Steve Bannon, Sloppy Michael Moore (tedious, low energy!), Nuts (Jeff Sessions), Nut Job Glenn Beck, Nut Job Lindsey Graham, Nut Job James Comey, Nut Job Bernie Sanders, Nut Job John Kelly (sextuple repetitive, incompetent loser!), Crazy Bernie Sanders, Crazy Megyn Kelly, Crazy Joe Scarborough, Crazy Jim Acosta (quadruple repetitive, so dumb!), Crooked Hillary Clinton (hypocritical, sad!), Lightweight Megyn Kelly, Lightweight Choker Marco Rubio, Lightweight Lindsey Graham (triple repetitive, lightweight!), Low Energy Jeb Bush, Pocahontas (Elizabeth Warren), Lyin' Ted Cruz, Waterboy & Easy Mark (Marco Rubio), 1 for 38 (John Kasich), Fake Tears & Cryin' Chuck Schumer, Dumb as a Rock & Low IQ (Mika Brzezinski), Jeff Flakey, Killer Kelly (John Kelly), Hopie & Hopester (Hope Hicks), Reince-y (Reince Priebus), Crusty John McCain, Liberal Puppet (Doug Jones), Wacky (Frederica Wilson), Big Luther Strange, Truly Weird Rand Paul, Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd, Cheatin' Obama, Covfefe (?), Fake News (self-incrimination, moron!), Animal Assad, The Failing New York Times, Crippled America ... or how about the 70+ people Trump has called "loser"?

British Nicknames for Trump: President Fart ("trump" is English slang for "fart"), American Idiot (google the word "idiot" and a certain clueless American president appears), Crumpet, Diaper Don, The White House Wanker, Nutless Nutter, Orange Arsehole, The Shamerican President, The Whey-Faced Windbag, The Tweeting Twat Twit, Tosser, Fossil Fool, Feckless Lip Flapper, Recycled Hitler with Worse Hair, Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey (formerly reserved for the French), Mad as a Bag of Ferrets, Daft as a Bush (Jeb or George), Sarah Palin in Man Form, Barmy Blowhard, Dodgy Don, Plug-Ugly Hairpiece, Gormless Gerrymanderer

Currently Rising: Mr. Freeze, the ICEman and the vICEman, as in "Beware, the vICEman cometh, to rip babies from their mothers' breasts and toss them in the deep freeze!"

Trump has no problem putting babies on ICE. — Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Brett Kavanaugh Nicknames: Sludge Kavanaugh, The Hanging Judge, Mr. Dangling Participle, Hot Rod, Caveman, Groper Junior, Forrest Hump

Nicknames for Trump and his minions have been coined by Alec Baldwin, Steve Bannon, Glenn Beck, Samantha Bee, Joy Behar, Joe Biden, Lewis Black, Elayne Boosler, Jim Carrey, Graydon Carter, Dana Carvey, Michael Che, Cher, Hillary Clinton, Stephen Colbert, Bob Corker, Ted Cruz, Robert De Niro, Eminem, Tina Fey, Al Franken, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Kathy Griffin, LeBron James, John Kasich, Garrison Keillor, Jimmy Kimmel, Bill Kristol, David Letterman, Bill Maher, John McCain, Michael Moore, Seth Myers, Trevor Noah, Barack Obama, Rosie O'Donnell, Keith Olbermann, John Oliver, Martin O'Malley, Michael Moore, Robert Mugabe, Sarah Palin, Randy Rainbow, Dan Rather, Rob Reiner, Mitt Romney, Marco Rubio, Bernie Sanders, Joe Scarborough, Bernie Shine, Nate Silver, Jon Stewart, George Takei, Kim Jong Un, George Will, Michael Wolff, Fareed Zakaria, and even Trump and his first wife, the former Ivana Trump (who coined The Donald).


PRESIDENT EVIL (a pun on Resident Evil)
The White House Resident (not our president)
American Idiot (Great Britain, Europe, Google, The Guardian and Green Day)
Hell Sinker and Hell Stinky (after Helsinki)

Former U.S. Ambassador to Russia William J. Burns didn't mince words after the Trump/Putin summit in Helsinki: "That press conference was the single most embarrassing performance by an American president on the world stage that I've ever seen." 

National Disgrace (John McCain)
The Great Spewdini (Jim Carrey)
The unCIVIL Warrior


Trump seduces conservative Christians over to the dark side: cutting food stamps and Medicaid, eliminating Meals-on-Wheels and heating fuel assistance, undermining Obamacare while offering nothing better and leaving millions of the most vulnerable Americans uninsured, ripping refugee babies from their mothers' breasts and denying them the milk of human kindness, greatly reducing taxes for the rich while giving the poor and middle classes a pittance, etc. What would Jesus Christ say about Trump and his supporters who claim to be "Christians"?


Republican leadership, in splendid isolation from the world, is almost unanimously dedicated to destroying the chances for decent survival.—Noam Chomsky, perhaps the earth's greatest living scholar

Space CADet Trump
The Wrath of Con
The Fanta Menace

Le Petite Pee Pee (as Trump is known by Parisian hookers)
The Man Who Would Be King (Dan Rather)
Rome Burning in Man Form (John Oliver)
The Hole-y Roamin' Emperor (Michael R. Burch)
Godzilla with Less Foreign Policy Experience (Stephen Colbert)
TyRANTosaurus Wrecks (Michael R. Burch)
World's Greatest Troll (Nate Silver of FiveThirtyEight)
The Poll Cat (an especially smelly political skunk)

Spanky and President Spanky (Stephen Colbert, after allegations that Trump chases porn stars in his tighty whities)
The Slavemaster (after Trump opined that NFL players who refuse to do his bidding should leave the country!)
Political Day Trader (Joe Scarborough)
Bloated Emperor Sans Clothes (Joe Scarborough, a truly cringeworthy image!)
Donald Bush (Mike Cernovich, after Trump emulated Bush Junior by attacking Syria)
The Ugly Shamerican (Michael R. Burch, after Trump called less fortunate nations "shitholes")
The Stagehog
Boiled Ham in a Wig (Jon Stewart)
Sleazy Donald (Ted Cruz)
Collusion Don and Don Collusion
The Whine-o (the Trump winery has been renamed the Trump Whinery)
The Son of Slam
The Louse that Roared (Michael R. Burch)

The Un-American President (The New York Times)
The Madman (Trump himself)

"I won't rule out direct talks with Kim Jong-un. I just won't," Trump said. "As far as the risk of dealing with a madman is concerned, that's his problem, not mine." Thus in a rare blip of honesty Trump admitted that Jong-un will be dealing with a madman!

The Indecent President
Douche (Candice Bergen, who dated Trump in college)
President Photo-Op (Trump was all grins and thumbs-up during photo-ops, while pretending to "console" victims of the Parkland school massacre)
Mr. Transparency

My new backpack is almost as transparent as the NRA's agenda. I feel sooo safe now!―Lauren Hogg, a Parkland survivor

Tweety Trump (think of Dumbo flying around twittering like Tweety Bird, wearing a bad wig)
Conway Tweety (Michael R. Burch)
Muthafukka (Samuel L. Jackson, after Trump said arming teachers would end school shootings)
The Potemkin President (The New Yorker, The Washington Post, New Republic, The Atlantic, DailyKos, Vox)

The Dermagogue (Michael R. Burch)
The Fake News Sewer Spewer
Tax & Spend Trump (the national debt is exploding with a 666 billion dollar budget deficit in Trump's first fiscal year)
IT (As in Young Frankenstein when Igor cries "It's alive!" Yeah, it's wandering around creating a lot of mayhem, but is it human?)
Flat-Out Bat-Shit Nuts (Bill Maher)
Nutso (Katie Walsh)
Malice's Adventures in Blunderland (Michael R. Burch)
The Mayfly (although mayflies have longer attention spans than Tweety)
Drunk Dad (Charlie Dent)

Fucking Idiot (Rupert Murdoch, as quoted by NY Magazine)
Fucking Moron (Rupert Murdoch, as quoted by Michael Wolff)
Fucking Fool (Robert De Niro, Sam Nunberg)
Hopeless Idiot (H.R. McMaster, the nation's top national security adviser)
Dope (H.R. McMaster)
Dumb as Shit (Gary Cohn, chief economic advisor to Trump)
Dumb as Dirt (Stephen King)
Idiot (Sam Numberg, Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin and former White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus)
Idiot Surrounded by Clowns (Michael Wolff)
Sick Ignoramus (Rob Reiner)
Shallow Lazy Ignoramus (Ann Coulter)
IMBECILE (Steve Bannon called Trump's firing of James Comey the worst mistake in "modern political history")
Il Stupido (Pope Francis called climate change deniers like Trump "stupid," "stubborn" and "unseeing")
Foxymoron (Michael R. Burch)
THE DOTARD (Kim Jong Un)
Donnie Dementia (Michael Moore)
Donnie Dimwit (attributed to Trump's sister Maryanne Trump Barry)
Dolt 45
Daft Twerp (Nicholas Soames, grandson of Trump's hero, Winston Churchill)
SillyCon Boob (Michael R. Burch, after Ivana Trump said Trump isn't racist, he's just "silly" and "confused")
The Hypocritic Oaf
Absolute Pedantic Fool (Keith Olbermann)
Bloviating Ignoramus (George Will)
The Know-Nothing (George W. Bush — Ouch! That must REALLY sting, considering the source!)
Mentally Unstable Simpleton (The New York Times)

THE MORON makes Rex Tillerson the Secretary of Stating the Obvious! The irate Rexit called his boss an EFFIN' MORON after Big Rocket Man called for a "nearly tenfold" increase in the US nuclear arsenal. According to Popular Mechanics, that would cost $15 trillion dollars for 50,000 nukes that can never be used! At nearly four times the entire federal budget, "it would be the most expensive chest-thumping exercise ever." Yep, sounds effin' moronic to us! Trump claimed that he didn't call for the increase, but on December 22, 2016 he tweeted: "The United States must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability!" Now the twitterverse is exploding with hashtags like #moron #morongate and our favorite, the poetic #MoronDon.

BEDROCK (Rex Tillerson admits that he is Blarney to his bumbling caveman boss, President Flintstone, because they share "bedrock values")
MR. MENSA (Trump challenged Tillerson to an IQ test, claiming there was no doubt who would win!)

The Abominable Showman
The Mandarin Candidate
The Banana Republican (Bill Kristol says the GOP has "a cult of personality worthy of a Banana Republic.")
The Surreal Donald Trump
The Self-Made Sham (in reality Fred Trump made his son rich the easy way: inheritance of more than $400 million!)
Shameless Salesman (Salon)
Uncle Scam
Uncle Ream US (Michael R. Burch)
P. T. Barnum (Trump's sister Maryanne Trump Barry, a federal judge who has seen a lot of deception, said her brother is P. T. Barnum)

BS Artist (Robert De Niro)
Epic Bullshit Artist (New Republic)
Mr. In-Credible: "The least credible person who has ever walked on earth" (Michael Wolff)
Emperor-Sans-Clothes (Michael Wolff)
Paper Tiger (McKay Coppins in the Atlantic, because Trump hasn't stood up to China, nor has he drained the Swamp)

Kook (Lindsey Graham)
Crazy (Jared Kushner, per The New York Times)
Crazy and "outside the realm of normal" (FBI Director James Comey)
Sleazy Con Man Gone Over to the Dark Side (Vanity Fair editor Tina Brown)
Superbug (Jay-Z)
Wackadoo (Michael Wolff quote)
Anger-Fueled Demagogue (Salon)
Monkey (Steve Bannon)
Mr. Big Wig (think of Bozo the Clown, but with much creepier hair)
Lucky Charms (Trump told farmers: "You are so lucky that I gave you the privilege of voting for me!")
The Grate Man (Steve Bannon)
Imperfect Vessel (to be filled with Steve Bannon's dreams of Leninist destruction)
The Deconstructionist (Steve Bannon)

If you look at [Trump's] Cabinet nominees, they were selected for a reason, and that is deconstruction.—Steve Bannon

Syphilitic Emperor (Ross Douthat)
Dark Heart (Hollywood Reporter)
THE BEAST (Ivanka Trump)

Ivanka Trump said there's a special place in hell for people who sexually prey on children, like Playboy Roy Moore and her father!

Amnesty Don (Steve Bannon/Breitbart)
The Gun Grabber (Breitbart)
The Turncoat (Sean Hannity accused Trump of failing to keep his election promises)
Cancer on Conservatism (Rick Perry)
The Rollover (Ann Coulter: "What's the only thing easier to roll than Donald J. Trump? An Easter egg!")

The False Profit

Why did Trump endorse Roy "Score" Moore when Nostradumbass claimed he "knew" the Sludge Judge couldn't win? Is it because "Predators of a feather / flock together?"—Michael R. Burch

Rock Bottom (Nancy Pelosi)
Rich White Trash (Donald Trump)
The Taint (Watergate journalist Carl Bernstein blasted Trump's slander of the FBI, saying what's "really been tainted … is the Trump presidency.")
tRump (USDA grade F-, as in: "What the hell can we do with this old, smelly slab of t-rump? Oh yeah, let's elect it president!")
Unfit to Clean Toilets (USA Today, after Trump slut-shamed Senator Kirsten Gillibrand.)

It is FAKE NEWS that Trump is unqualified to clean toilets! Russian hookers will gladly testify to the contrary! Believe me!

The Vulture Crapitalist
SHITHEAD (Sam Copeland)
The Shithard (combination of "shit" and "retard")
The Late Knight Commodian (after Trump joked that Mike Pence wants to hang all gays)
The Human Vanity Mirror
The Grater (Tump is making Russia and China great again, by making America grate again)
The Disgrace (Jennifer Detlefsen)
Racist Clementine (Trevor Noah)
Ku Klux Clown
The Grate Divider (Michael R. Burch)
Xenophobic Ritz Cracker
Hater-in-Chief (Carmen Yulín Cruz, the major of San Juan)
The Wrathematician (Michael R. Burch, after Trump said that only 16 deaths were "certified," and thus Puerto Rico had not experienced a "real catastrophe" like Katrina!)
Archie Bunker (Steve Bannon)
The Racial President (Omarosa)

Omarosa saying Trump is "racial" but not a "racist" is like saying Hitler was "fanatical" but not a "fanatic."

Racist Grandpa (from Eminem's rap cypher "The Storm")
Donald the Bitch (Eminem)
The Kamikaze "that'll probably cause a nuclear holocaust" (Eminem)
Nutless "like an empty asylum" (Eminem)
Anathema (Eminem concludes: "We love our military, and we love our country / but we fucking HATE Trump!")
Super Callous Fragile Racist Extra Braggadocios (one of the cleverest Trump nicknames)
Super Callous Fragile Racist Sexist Nazi POTUS (ditto)

Dinky Donny (Cher)

President Moonbeam (The New York Times says Trump "promises the moon" but now comes "the day of reckoning")
President If Urine You're In
President Pants-on-Fire (Watergate reporter Carl Bernstein said: "There's no reason to believe anything Donald Trump says.")
Pathological Liar (Ted Cruz)
Truthophobic Trump (Elizabeth Harris Burch, who tweeted that "Trump is so divorced from the Truth, he should pay it alimony!")
The Hot Air Buffoon (Michael R. Burch)
E Pluribus Loon 'em (out of many, one loon to rule 'em and make 'em even loonier)

Fat A$$ (Stephen Colbert)
Cra$$ A$$
Largemouth Ass (Samantha Bee)
Butternut Turd (Drew Magary)
General Custard (ethnically cleansing women and children like Custer, but without the flowing mane)

Rigger Mortis (Michael R. Burch)
Donald de Rigueur (Michael R. Burch)
The Bid Rigger

The Great Gutsby
The Great Gasbag (Joy Behar)
The Great White Snark
The Blowhard (President George H. W. Bush)

The Thinskinned Skinflint

Saddam Le Pompadour (Michael R. Burch)
The Snazzy Nazi (Michael R. Burch)
Orange-Vanilla ISIS
Duke Nukem
Big Rocket Man
The Button Glutton
Psycho Finger on the Button (Michael Moore)

Button, button, who's got the button? Big Rocket Man brags that he has the biggest, baddest nuclear button! And he's clearly itching to use it!

Gossamer-Skinned Bully (Graydon Carter)
Bully Culprit (protest sign)
President Chirp (Sarah Huckabee Sanders)
Dire Abby (because Trump gives relationship advice like Dear Abby, but his message is invariably dire)
The Big Shtick ("Unlike Teddy Roosevelt, Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick!"―Michael R. Burch)
Shark Weak (Trump would watch Shark Week for hours, absolutely terrified, according to porn star Stormy Daniels)

Miracle Whipped (each Trump "miracle" seems to backfire and he is now the most hated, despised and ridiculed man on the planet)
The Lamé Duck President
Toast (Steve Bannon predicted "The Trump presidency that we fought for, and won, is over" and gave Trump a 30% chance of finishing his first term)

White House insiders have been calling the president Don Corleone and Dumb Corleone because of his mob boss mentality. His oldest son Donald Trump Jr. is Fredo (the dumb son who keeps shooting himself in the foot), while Ivanka is Michael (the smart one). There is no doubt that Ivanka is the Gaud Father's favorite, since he gave her a position in his administration along with her husband Little Lord Fauntleroy. But if Junior is Fredo, wouldn't that make Senior another Fredo? Better call Puffed Up Daddy and his eldest son Dumb and Dumber! But where does this name game leave Eric Trump, another Chip Off The Old Blockhead who may be the dumbest of them all? Is Eric too dumb to be promoted to Sonny? They seem to be a trio of Fredos, so call them the All Fredos or Alfredos for short! But let's not rush to judgment: Bill Maher has compared the Trump brothers to another ill-begotten duo: Uday and Qusay Hussein. That would make their father So Damn Insane, and it certainly seems to suit him.

The Top Ten Donald Trump Jr. nicknames ...

Junior and Donald Dunce Jr.
Son of Drumpf
The Good Boy (Donald Trump Sr.)
The Boy Blunder
Chip Off the Old Blockhead
Putin's Puppet / Puppy / Proxy / Protégé / Poodle / Lapdog
Fredo Corleone, Frito Corleone and Fraido (because like Fredo he's afraid of his father)
The Bedwetter and Diaper Don (because in college he would get drunk, pass out and wet the bed)

Please click here for all Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames

Eric Trump aka Draco Malfoy

The Top Ten Eric Trump Jr. nicknames ...

Eric the Red and Eric the Brain Dead
Eric of Orange (Erich L'Orange)
Eric Idle
Qusay (Trump insiders, per Michael Wolff)
Odo (short for Malodorous)
Date Rape (Kathy Griffin)
Draco Malfoy
Sonny Corleone and Sonny-Boy
Short Bus, Douchebag von Fuckface and Thurston Shitbag the Third (Bill Maher)
Chip Off the Old Blockhead II

Please click here for all Eric Trump Nicknames

Currently Rising: Quasi-Dodo the Hunchback of Notre Shame, after Trump curtsied submissively before the Saudi king in his first official act as an American president abroad. The Big Dipper dropped a pretty little curtsey (for a Shambling Sasquatch, that is) while receiving the Gilded Collar of King Salman Abdulaziz al-Saud. This, after Two-Faced Trump had blasted President Obama for a much more dignified and reserved half-bow several years before, tweeting at the time: "Do we want a President who bows to the Saudis?" A meek little curtsey, however prettily delivered, is far less presidential than a half-bow, so let's add Hippo-CRAZY, The Hissy-Fit Hypocrite and the Hypocritic Oaf to our ever-expanding list of Trump nicknames.

Also Rising: Prima Donald, Sparkly Princess Trumpelina, The Ginger Genuflector, Orange O'Hara, Little Miss Teapot and Idiot Abroad (Samantha Bee). Trump loyalist and campaign adviser Roger Stone was livid about the curtsey, tweeting: "Candidly, it makes me want to puke #JaredsIdea." But was it a submissive bow, an obsequious curtsey, or both? One tweeter was happy to explain: "To be fair, first Trump bowed, then he curtsied like a Sparkly Princess!" Another tweeter adopted Trump-Speak: "Trump has all the best curtsies, nobody curtsies like Trump, everybody says so!" In a similar vein, Trump's submissive gesture was described as "one of the best and bigliest curtsies."

More Trump Sexual Assault Nicknames

 — see Donald Trump's War on Women
The Fresh Prince of Times Square (Michael R. Burch)
Donald Trumpboner
The Sexual A$$aulter-in-Chief
Dr. Gropenstein
Melania's Burden
Enormous Douche (FBI agent Peter Strzok)
The Louche Douche
The Twat Twit
The Impotentate
Bush Baby
The Viagra Dough Boy
The Snatch Snatcher
The Snatch Snitch
Alpha Molester
Chest Her Molester
Tic-Tac Attack
Ticky-Tacky Trump
Rikki Tikki Tacky
Groper Cleave Hand
Full Frontal Assault Trump
The Pussy Posse

"Yay for us! We just robbed 23 million Americans of their healthcare and 53 million of protection from discrimination for preexisting conditions! We are the Winners, and who the hell cares about the losers?" (And why is Trump cheering a bill that he would later call "mean, mean, mean" in private?)

WASHINGTON, DC - MAY 04:  (L-R) U.S. President Donald Trump, Speaker of the House Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), House Majority Whip Rep. Steve Scalise (R-LA) and House Majority Leader Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) participate in a Rose Garden event May 4, 2017 at the White House in Washington, DC. The House has passed the American Health Care Act that will replace the Obama eraÕs Affordable Healthcare Act with a vote of 217-213.  (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

Mitch McConnell, the Hyperactive Death Hamster, keeps vigorously pedaling the TrumpCare wheel of doom. Mitch the Snitch wants to snatch healthcare away from millions of Americans as quickly as possible. "This is just the beginning!" he squeaked happily at the thought of so much suffering and death, "Look, we can't let this moment slip by!" Why? Because "with a surprise election comes great opportunities to do things we never thought were possible!"


This is a disappointment, a disappointment indeed! I regret that our efforts [to rob 30 million Americans of decent healthcare] were simply not enough this time!―Mitch McConHell

The Top Ten Mitch McConnell Nicknames

The Turtle (Jon Stewart) and The Napping Turtle (Michael R. Burch)
Fuckface McTurtlebitch
Mitch MuckSquirtle
Shirknado and Shirknerdough (Michael R. Burch)
The Hyperactive Death Hamster
The Lethal Chipmunk
Angry Cheek Pouches
Koch Addict (Michael R. Burch)
Mitch McConHell (Michael R. Burch)
Mitch the Snitch-Bitch

Please click here for all Mitch McConnell Nicknames

Have no fear, Acting President Jared Kushner is here! Cushy Kushner makes all the major decisions while Truant Trump tweets, poses for photo-ops, gropes women's genitals, sentences babies and grannies to death, cheats at golf, then brags about his "accomplishments" and campaigns for reelection.

We can all breathe a sigh of relief because Jarring Jarhead Kushner is at the ISIS front, using his real-estate negotiation skills to counsel our enemies and console our troops! Trump's Aide de Kampf will never rest until WWIII is well underway, and irreversible.

The Top Ten Jared Kushner Nicknames

Vanilla ISIS
Ralph Lauren of Arabia (@ChannelTrump)
Cushy Kushner and Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin on SNL)
Aide de Kampf (Michael R. Burch)
Putin's Puppet and Putin's Protégé
The Easebroker
Complete Fucking Idiot (Samantha Bee)
Little Lord Fauntleroy (Duratti on Daily Kos)
Channel 666 (Jared Kushner and his wife Ivanka Trump own the most expensive single building purchased in the U.S. at 666 Fifth Avenue, purchased for $1.8 billion or 6+6+6 billion)

Please click here for all Jared Kushner Nicknames

The Top Ten Ivanka Trump Nicknames

Ivanka Tramp
Proxy Wife
Trophy Daughter and The First Lady-Daughter
Ivanka Wanker (I Wanna Wank Her)
Ivanka Spanker (I Wanna Spank Her)
Nordic Goddess and The Norwegian Wood Inducer
Kushner's Crush and Kushner's Cush Toy
The Favorite and The Hot One
The Smart One and Michael (after Michael Corleone, "the smart one" in the Godfather movies)
I Candy

Please click here for all Ivanka Trump Nicknames

The Top Ten Melania Trump nicknames

The Slovenian Sphinx (Maureen Dowd)
First Babe
Third Lady (after Ivana Trump and Marla Maples)
Melania Antoinette
The Ice Queen (Gloria Erin Ryan)
The Superglamorous Stepford Wife (André Leon Talley)
The Man-Baby Sitter and The Trump Sitter
The Trump Swatter (after slapping her husband's hand away)
The Apprentice Bride and Bride of Trumpenstein

Please click here for all Melania Trump Nicknames

Trump Divorce Nicknames

Reality Check Mate
Reality Czech Mate
You're Fired!

Trump Administration, Cabinet, Supporter, Follower and Lapdog Nicknames

Crazytown (General John Kelly, the White House Chief of Staff)
Zoo Without Walls (Reince Priebus, the former White House Chief of Staff)
Supremacists 'R US
The Washington Denial Machine (Bob Woodward)
The Carnival (Bob Woodward)
Staff Infection (Stephen Colbert)
Monster's Ball (David Axelrod)
Moscow on the Hudson (Michael R. Burch)
ICE Capades (Michael R. Burch)
The Romper Room (Trump attorney Ty Cobb said he and General Kelly are "the only adults in the room" at the White House)
The Cult of Trumpworld (Omarosa Manigault Newman)
Nationalists International
Boys 'R US
The Apparatchiks

The entire GOP now consists of apparatchiks; they've built their careers on toeing the party line, and neither obvious obstruction of justice nor clear evidence of collusion with a foreign power will make them take a stand.—Nobel Laureate Paul Krugman

The New Dystopia
Monkeys Hurling Excrement (Steve Schmidt)
The Ogle Office
The Collusionists
Collusion Central
Corruption Junction
The Adult Day Care Center (Bob Corker)
Grassroots Hobbits (Steve Bannon)
The Island of Misfit Toys (Steve Bannon)
The Broke-Dick Campaign (Steve Bannon)
Sinking Ship of State (Steve Bannon)
President Beavis and the Buttheads
The Bazaar (Bob Corker)
The Bizarre Bazaar (Michael R. Burch)
The Grifters (Valerie Plame)
Trolls Galore (Hillary Clinton)
Amoral Flying Monkeys (Keith Olbermann)
Steve Bannon’s Alt-Right Swamp (Vogue)
Tweety and the Twits (Michael R. Burch)
Tweety and the Twittermaniacs
The Kremlin Gremlins
The Far Slide
The Lords of Misrule
Crazy Train (Ozzy Osbourne)
The Alt-Right Hate Machine (Al Green)
Hapless Incompetents (Ryan Cooper)
Reign of Error
The Trump Freak Show (Vogue)
The Hinternationalists (Michael R. Burch)
The Highglanders (Michael R. Burch)
Rank Amateurs ("rank" as in "reeking")
Amateur Hour at the White House
Celebrity Presidential Apprentice
Den of the Re-Flub-Lycans (Michael R. Burch)
Hair Hitler and the Whigs (Michael R. Burch)
Blingtime for Hitler (Michael R. Burch)
Trump-Pence None the Retcher (Michael R. Burch)
The White Supremacist House (Michael R. Burch)
The Hicks from the Sticks
The Hicks from the Styx
The West Wing Sexual Assault Emporium (Michael R. Burch)
The Ovary Assault Office
The Ovary Inspection Office (Michael R. Burch)
The Cucksmen (Michael R. Burch)
Crack Team of Crackpots (Michael R. Burch)
Con-Fed Dense Men (Michael R. Burch)
AmeriKlan Idols
The Pop People
Kakistocracy (Ryan Lizza) ...

The Greeks have a word for the emerging Trump Administration: kakistocracy. The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as a “government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.” Webster’s is simpler: “government by the worst people.”—Ryan Lizza in a New Yorker article

Please click here for all Trump cabinet, administration, supporter, follower and lapdog: Donald Trump Cabinet Nicknames

What do you call a collection of Trump supporters?

A Confederacy of Dunces (Vox Populi)
A basketfull of deplorables (Cooper)
An assembly of a$$es (Sugarplum Tweetie)
A flock of fucktards (Beth Burch aka @ladydragyn)
A fifth of Reich (Michael R. Burch)
A swastika of Nazis (Odette Roulette)
A blather of blitherers (Miss Lynas)
A quorum of complicity (Rick Mazurski)
The Swamp (HomerJoe)
The Politburo (Don Allard)
Putin's Marionettes (Robert Bland)
Putinettes (John Pfahlert)
Traitors 'R Us (Lynn Underwood)
Co-conspirators (Rob Nichols)

Trump Impeachment Nicknames

Fall of the House of Lusher
Gone with the Hot Air
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Damien Trump
and his Stepford Wives meet Pope Francis, who is obviously uncomfortable in the presence of such Darkness and angles his cross slightly to keep them at bay!

Donald Trump will soon produce a new TV reality show based on the Addams Family. The new show will be called the Ad-Dumbs Family and will star himself, Melania and their sinister brood.

Trump Family Nicknames

The Stepfordians
Scamalot (pun on Camelot and the Kennedy family)
The KKKardashians
The Brooklyn Hillbullies (Michael R. Burch)
Donald Duck Dynasty
The Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse (Michael R. Burch)
The Cold Ones
The Ad-Dumbs Family (Michael R. Burch)
Children of the Corn
Beavis and the Buttheads
Bereave US and the Buttheads
Donald and the Douchebags
Hitler's Revenge on the United States
Poor Little Bitch Kids
The Bitches of Eastwick

Marco Roboto
hugs the First-Lady-Daughter, Ivanka Trump ... talk about uncomfortable!

Immature Trump Nicknames

Man-Baby (Jon Stewart)
Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper
(Michael R. Burch)
Baby-in-Chief (Robert De Niro)
Tsar Baby (pun on "tar baby" after Jim Himes accused Trump of tarring the reputation of the FBI, CIA and other US intelligence agencies)
L'Enfant Terrible (the French certainly know how to describe Trump!)
Sweet Little Baby Trump (Alec Baldwin)
Pouty Baby Trump (Alec Baldwin on SNL)
Dinky Donny (Cher)
Little Trump (Newt Gingrich: "The little Trump is frankly pathetic.")
The Alpha Male Crybaby (George F. Will)
Big Baby (Lewis Black)
Boss Baby Trump
Birther Boy
The Boy Blunder
The Boychurian Candidate (Michael R. Burch, a pun on Manchurian Candidate)
Bratworst (pun on "bratwurst")
The Pre-Teen President (Steve Bannon told Vanity Fair that he's like an 11-year-old child!)
The Combover Kid
Donald the Menace
Dyslexic Donlad
Felonious Punk
Dauphin of Breitbartistan (Samantha Bee)
Malice in Blunderland (Michael R. Burch)
Poster Boy for Narcissism (Dr. César Chelala)
Kid Loudmouth (MAD Magazine)
The Tottering Tot
The Shillsbury Doughboy
Toddler Psychopath (John Oliver)
Rascalnikov (a pun on the name of the downward-spiraling criminal in Crime and Punishment)
Donnie John (Tina Fey)
Donnie Two Scoops
The Rookie (Mitch McConnell)
The Rook (Nancy Pelosi)
The Greenhorn (Nancy Pelosi)
Truant Trump (Bob Corker tweeted #AlertTheDaycareStaff)
Liddle Donnie Diaperrash
Little Donnie Daisyfingers (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Diaperpants (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Dingleberry (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Diva (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Discord
Little Donnie Dunciad
Man-Toddler Trump
President Manchild McSpoiledBrat
Shark Dressed Man-Boy (Michael R. Burch)
Sir Pissypanties
Sir Sissypants
The Terrible Tyke
Terroristic Man-Toddler (Charles M. Blow)
The Tellytubby President (Trump watches up to 4 hours of TV per day, and is very tubby!)
Tinky Winky Trump
Ego Buoy (Michael R. Burch)
The Golden Man-Child
The Kindergarten Fop (Michael R. Burch)
The Imperious Adolescent (Doug Elmets)
An Inconvenient Youth (Michael R. Burch)
The Infantalist (David Brooks)
Child (Katie Walsh)
Bubble Boy

Small Hands Trump Nicknames

Short-Fingered Vulgarian (Graydon Carter)
Twinkle Fingers Trump
Babyfingers Trump
Le Petit Prince Daisyfingers (Michael R. Burch)
Liddle Donnie Ladydiddler (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Diddlefingers (Michael R. Burch)
The Tiny-Handed Tyrant
Chubby Nubby
Tiny Hands Trump
Dainty Digits Trump
Pixie Digits Trump
Donnie McTinyHands

Trump Boy Scout Nicknames

The Boy Scouter
The Boy Shouter
The Boy Spouter (after Trump spouted off to the Boy Scouts)
The Boy Pouter
The Boy Lout
The Boy Flouter
The Boy Spout
The Den Master

Senile Trump Nicknames

Old Fart
Don Rectum
The Walking Talking Basket Case
Mentally Deranged Dotard (Kim Jong Un)
Lunatic Old Man (Korean Central News Agency)
The Doddering Demagogue
The Slurmaster
Old Slurpee

Flabby Trump Nicknames

Fat Blabby (Lewis Black)
Big Baby (Lewis Black)
The Great Gutsby (Michael R. Burch)
Porky Pig and The New York Pork Dork (because Trump and his companies have taken so much "pork" from federal, state and local governments)
Humpty Trumpty
Trumpty Dumpty
King Gorge
The Madness of King Gorge (Michael R. Burch)
Big Donald (coined by Marco Rubio) and Pig Donald (a variation coined by feminists)
Oompa Loompa Trump
Trump Heffalump
The Walrus
The Great White Wail (Michael R. Burch)

Trump Swamp Nicknames

Swampy (Trish Regan of Fox Business)
Swamp Scum
The Swamp King
The Swamp Stocker
Creature from the Orange Lagoon
The Orange-Tufted Swamp Ogre
The Gold Man Sucks President (after Trump "drained the swamp" only to stock it with his crocodilian Goldman Sachs donors)
Big Agenda Trump (David Horowitz)
The Vulture Crapitalist

Trump Warmonger, Antichrist and Apocalypse Nicknames

Duke Nuke 'Em
Dr. Strangelove
Gleeful Provocateur (David Von Drehle)
The Neo-Con Puppet (coined by the Alt-Right)
The Neo-Con-Man
The War Troll
Deep State Donald
The False Flag Flyer
Deep Hoax
Carnage Incarnate
The Rabble Rouser
The American Terrorist (George Takei)
The Firestarter
The Pyromaniac
The Pyro President
The Flaming Hun
Republican Rapture Inducer
mADD Max
The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse (Michael R. Burch)
God Emperor Trump
Terminator Trump
The Beast
Little Horn (the prophets of the Bible)
The Trump of Doom (the prophets of the Bible)
Darkness Incarnate
Damien Trump (after the Antichrist figure in the Omen movies)
Dude the Apostate (Michael R. Burch)
Dude the Obscure (Michael R. Burch)
Doomsday Donnie
The Great Whore of Babble-On
— see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?

Trump Hairdo (and Hair-don't) Nicknames

Old Baldy
Hell Toupée
Dead Wombat Toupée
The Combover Kid
Mr. Wiggy Piggy
Hair Hitler
Hair Furor
Mein Hair
Hairman Mao
The Mad Hatter and The Mad Hater
Human-Toupée Hybrid
Toupée Fiasco
Squirrelwig McRacistPants
Con Hair (pun on the movie "Con Air")
Hair Force One
Hamster Hairpiece

Demented Trump Nicknames

The Symptom (Barack Obama, pointing out that Trump is merely a symptom of the diseases of racism, chauvinism and intolerance)
The Sociopath (Tony Schwartz, who wrote The Art of the Deal)

Trump Fowl & Foul Nicknames

Chicken Donald (Martin O'Malley)
Chicken Don
Chicken Little
Chicken Spittle
Chicken Sh*ttle
Chicken Whittle (Trump will gladly whittle away healthcare from babies, grannies and vets)
The Cuck of the Walk (Michael R. Burch)
Donald Cluck
Donald Clusterf*ck
Donald Chickenheart
Booster Hogburn

Trump Gold and Money Nicknames

The Gold Flake (Michael R. Burch)
The Gold Bug
The Gold Digger
The Gold Rigger
The Con Dike Gold Rush
Darth Goldplater
Golden Wrecking Ball (Sarah Palin, who was not trying to be funny, but ended up being all too accurate ... so sad!)
Gold Faithful (Trump worships gold and erupts with anger on a regular basis)
Fool's Gold
Mr. Golden Shower
Mr. Moneybags
Mammon's Lam-Man
The Keeper of the Golden Commode

Trump Leak Nicknames

The Perpetual Fountain of Lies (Charles M. Blow)
The Blowhard
The Spigot

Trump Golf Nicknames

The Bogeyman (after Trump took yet another golf vacation while terrified schoolchildren marched for their lives)
The Caddy Hack
The Caddy Hacker
Mr. Mulligan
Dorf (a Tim Conway character in the skit "Dorf on Golf")

Trump Monarchist/Royalist/Tyrant Nicknames

TyRANTosaurus Wrecks (Michael R. Burch)
The Scum Lord
King Drumpf (Fred Trump said he raised his son to be a "king")
King Leer
King Rat
The Lyin' King
King Trump the Grate
King Con (pun on King Kong)
Ol' King Coal
King Tut (because Trump makes people who prize decency go "Tut, tut, tut!")
Conigula (Michael R. Burch, emphasis on "con")
Prince Uncharming
Prince Alarming
Prince of Humbug (P. T. Barnum)
The Son King (it was Trump's father who made him rich; pun on "Sun King")
The Shun King
The Stun King
The American Dauphin (Michael R. Burch)
The Lord of the Blings
Bling Midas
The Plantation King sans Clothes (after Trump said that Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul, worked for him)
Reverse Midas

Donald Trump is the Reverse Midas because everything he touches immediately turns to s**t ... Trump Casinos, Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump Mortgage, the Trump Shuttle, Trump the Game, affordable healthcare, women's rights, minority rights, our right to vote without interference from Russia, the environment, our children's educations, Syria, North Korea ...

Trump Dictator and Fascist Nicknames

The New Furor
Trumpen Furor
Mein Furor
Mein Trumpf
Adolph Twitler
Adolph Trumpler
The Apprentice Führer (Ben Judah)
Casino Mussolini (Samantha Bee)
Hair Mousse-olini
Mussolini's Taint
Benito Trumpolini
Inglorious Leader
Dear Leader
Der Leader
Fearful Leader
Fear Fool Leader
Baron Trump
The Tin-Pot Despot (Nicholas Kristof)
Tsar Trumpov
Tsar Ridickulous (Michael R. Burch)
Tsarzan (Michael R. Burch)
Genghis Con (Michael R. Burch)
Genghis Can't and Genghis Cant (Michael R. Burch)
El Presidente
Il Douche and Ill Douche
Il Doofus
Poll Potbelly Pig (pun on Pol Pot)
The Mandarin Candidate
Idiot Amin
The American Saddam / Assad / Duterte / Erdogan / Pinochet / Poppa Doc / Jong-un / Mussolini / Hitler / Lenin / Stalin / Mao

Kremlingate/Comeygate/Russiagate/Putingate/Votergate Nicknames

Comrade Trumputin
The Brooklyn Bolshevik
The Russian Mole
Agent 747 (i.e., Jumbo)
The Siberian Candidate
Putin's Puppet
Putin's Poppet
Putin's Putty
Putin's Proxy
Putin's Bitch
Putin's Rasputin
Putin's Useful Idiot
Putin's C*ck-Holster (Stephen Colbert)
Lavrov's Dog (pun on Pavlov's Dog)
Lavrov's Lapdog
Putin's Pampered Poodle
Lenin's Gremlin
Stalin's Paladin
The Stallin' Stalin
The Rootin' Tootin' Lootin' Putin Sidekick
Donny Moscow
Deep Bloat
Deep Moat
Deep Creep
The Loose-Lipped Ship Sinker

Colorful Trump Nicknames

Mango Mussolini
Mango Mugabe
Marmalade Mugabe
Shady Marmalade and Fraidy Marmalade (puns on the Patti LaBelle song)
Cinnamon Hitler
Persimmon Hitler
Ginger Hitler
Gingervitis (Michael R. Burch)
Sunkist Stalin
Tangerine Palpatine
Tangerine Voldemort
Tangerine Tornado (SNL's Church Lady, played by Dana Carvey)
Angry Pumpkin
Angry Creamsicle
The Fanta Menace
The Fanta Ranter
Orange Julius and Orange Foolius

More Colorful Trump: PEEOTUS, Marmalade Mussolini, Habañero Hitler, Habanero Hussein, Sunburned Stalin, Fanta Fascist, Candied Yam, El Hombre de Tang, Orange Anusmouth, Mandarin Orange Mugabe, Melba Mao, The Orange Peel, Tangerine Nutsack, Animated Pumpkin, President Tang, Kim Jong Orange, Pantone Beelzebub, Minute Maid Mao, Papaya Batista, Sweet Potato Saddam, Tropicana Mussolini, Nectarine Noriega, Orange Ortega, Mangled Apricot Hellbeast, Lemonhead, Peach Nehi President, Trump Brulée, Pumpkin Spice Satan, Tang Tyrant, Candy Corn Kremlin, The Nacho Nazi, The Yellow Death, Yellow Fever, Orange-Tufted Twitter Flitterer, The Orange Oligarch, The Gollygarch, Grossly Protuberant Peach Topped with Yucky Orange Lint-Fuzz, The Orange-Tufted War Troll, Butternut Soufflé of Seeping Death, The Persimmon Satyr, The Orange Menace, Mango Mophead, Cantaloupe Caligula, Orange Sauron, Der Pumpkinfurher, Pumpkin Pinochet, Apricot Poll Pot, Carrot Khomeini, Cheddar Ceausescu, Dorito Duterte, Gouda Gaddafi, Ham Hussein, Yam Saddam, Talking Yam, Stalking Yam, Peach Perón, Velveeta Vladimir, Salmon Voldemort, Code Orange, The Orange DREAM Sickle, The Orange Ogre, Orange Offal, Partially Sentient Spray Tan, Orange Vogon The Orange Hobgoblin,

Cheesy Trump Nicknames

Cheez Whiz Ceaușescu
Cheez Doodle (Maureen Dowd)
Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator
Cheeto Benito and Cheat-o Benito
Benito Cheetolini
Cheeto-in-Chief and Cheato-in-Chief
Screaming Cheeto
Angry Cheeto
The Big Cheeto
The Cheeto Bandito
Cheeto Voldemort
Cheeto von Tweeto
Cheeto-Faced Shit-Gibbon
Cheeto Jesus
Cheeto Satan
Desperate Cheeto (Randy Rainbow)
Frito Corleone
Frito Lay

Space Cadet Trump Nicknames

Space CADet Trump
The Mutant (Mark Shields)
The Aberration (Mark Shields)
The Wrath of Con
Doom Emperor Trump
Darth Insidious
Darth Hideous
Darth Hater
Darth Goldplater
The Fanta Menace
The Rude Crude Orange-Hued Space Dude

Trump Movie Star Nicknames

Forrest Trump
Donnie Darko
Donnie Dorko

Trump Superhero Nicknames

The Loan Deranger
Super Duper
Super Man-Boy
Deadpule (Michael R. Burch)
The Incredible Bulk
Con Man the Barbarian (Michael R. Burch, after Trump started gassing refugee children at the border)
Captain Bluto
Captain Tantastic
Captain Underpants
Captain Blunderpants
Captain Thunderpants
Captain Diaperpants
Captain James T. Smirk
Captain Outrageous
Captain Chaos
Captain Shamerica
(Michael R. Burch)
Captain Un-America
Captain AmeriKKKa
The Slack Panther
Optimus Grime (Michael R. Burch)
The Toxic Avenger
The Orange Pimpernel
Sir Leakalot (Michael R. Burch)
The Wear Wolf
The Incredible Shrinking Man-Boy

Trump Tweet Nicknames

Tweety Blurred
Boss Tweet
Tweet Twit
The Petulant Twitter Chirper
The Obsessive Compulsive Twitterholic

Trump Ego, Lies and Cons Nicknames

King of the Whoppers
King Con
The Abominable Showman
P. T. Burn 'Em
Pander Bear and Pander Hair (Elizabeth Harris Burch)
The Human Vanity Mirror (Michael R. Burch)
The Abominable Dough-Man
Don the Con (Marc Bauer)
Utterly Amoral Narcissist (Ted Cruz said: "Morality does not exist for him.")
Delusional Narcissist (Rand Paul)
The King of Fake News
Failed QVC Steak Salesman (Samantha Bee)
Two-Bit Used Hate Salesman (Samantha Bee)
The Feckless Denizen of the White House (Greg Dworkin)
The Spin-Meister
Deceitful Donald
President Pants-on-Fire
The Bullshit Artist and The Bullshitter (Fareed Zakaria)

Trump Hypocrisy Nicknames

The HIPPO-crit (Trump criticizes overweight women but the YUGE tub of lard never looks in the mirror)
The Hypocritic Oaf (Michael R. Burch)

Mob Boss Trump Nicknames

The Gaud Father (Michael R. Burch)
The Goad Farther
Al Cappuccino
Snarlin' Brando
Dumb Corleone
Frito Corleone
Vincent von Gouge
The Unwise Guy
Donnie Little Hands

Tyrant Trump Nicknames

The Tin-Pot Despot (Nicholas Kristof)
Conigula (Michael R. Burch)
Dubious Caesar
Julius Seize Her (Michael R. Burch)
Bling the Merciless (Michael R. Burch)
Alexpander the Great (Michael R. Burch)
Napoleon Blownapart (Michael R. Burch)
King Bling
King Dong
King Trump the Grate
The Great Gutsby
Hairman Mao
Emperor Hero-Cheat-O

Trump Fashion Nicknames

Emperor Sans Clothes
Tie-Rant Trump
The Tie-Coon
The Wear Wolf of Wall Bleat (Michael R. Burch)

Trump Inferno and Climate Nicknames

The Glowering Inferno
Trumpster Fire
Dumbster Fire
Bonfire of the Insanities (Michael R. Burch)
Ole King Coal
The Climate Primate

Trump Baseball Nicknames

Babe Ruthless
Babe Truthless
Sham the Man Unusual

Trump Clown Nicknames

Fuckface von Clownstick (Jon Stewart)
The Clown Prince
The Crown Prince of Politwits
Orange Skelton
Orange Skeltor
Ronald McDonald Trump Bozo (Michael R. Burch)
Big Top Trump
Bizarro Bozo
The Oompa Loompa of Doom (Chris Riddell)
The Greatest Showboat on Earth (Michael R. Burch)
The Class(less) Clown
The Killer Klown

Racist Trump Nicknames

The Ritz Cracker
Harvey Wallbanger
AmeriKKKLan Idol
President Snowflake (emphasis on "flake")
The Alt-Right Blight Inciter
The DuKKKe of Churl
The Kloset Klansman
The White Supremacist KKKnight

Trump Mania Nicknames

The Shambolic Shaman
The Whack-Job POTUS (John Podesta)
Untethered Maniac (Michelle Goldberg)

Trump Comedy Nicknames

God's Gift to Comedy (Jerry Seinfeld)
Job Security (Jimmy Kimmel)
Cultural Punch Line (Tom Scharpling)
Don Quixote and Don Quixotic
Dudley Do-Wrong

Trump Animal Nicknames

Creature from the Orange Lagoon
Weasel (FBI Director James Comey)
Orange-Tufted Shitweasel / Stink Ferret / Shitgibbon
Yungoos (a Pokémon weasel with a blond 'do)
Gumshoos (the evolved form of Yungoos)

Trump Halloween Monster Nicknames

Trumpenstein, Trumpula, Trumpzilla, The Great Trumpkin, Damien Trump, Count Hackula, Count Dreckula, Count Crockula, Trump Troll, Uncle Grope-Fester (Josh Marshall), Human Molotov Cocktail (Michael Moore), Grotesquely Decomposing Pumpkin Pulp, The Dangler (Dan Rather), The Grim Groper, The Grim Weeper, The Prim Reaper, The Grimy Reaper, The Mountebank (J. Robert Smith), The Orange Blob, Lurch, Spittle-Mouthed Snarler (Gina Barreca), Orange Amoeba (Ana Navarro), Sith Lord Trump, Super Predator (Van Jones), The Beast, Trumpasaurus Rex, Tyrantosaurus Wrecks, TyrannaSoreAss Rex, Prontoboorus, Zombie Trump (Green Day), Revolting Slug (Jerry Buckingham, an Australian MP)

Donald Trump Halloween Ideas

Incompetent Trump Nicknames

The Feeb (George F. Will: "a feeble president")
Trainwreck (Bob Corker said the White House staff called him multiple times when Trump was "really off the tracks")
Pathetic (John Kasich)
Deeply Disturbing Donald (John McCain)
Complete Disaster (John Boehner)
The Degrader (Jeff Flake said Trump is "degrading" the presidency)
The Debaser (Bob Corker accused Trump of "debasing" the nation)
The Neanderthal (Bob Corker said Trump is "devolving" before our eyes)
Ignoramus (Paul Krugman)
Unfit (Douglas Brinkley)
Hot Mess (Matt Drudge)
Jackass (Lindsey Graham)
Unstable and Incompetent (Bob Corker)
Repugnant (David Letterman)
Crackpot (Bernie Shine)
Primo Tool (Stephen Colbert)
Big Bother (a pun on Big Brother)
Libel Bully (American Bar Association)
The Big Lummox (Garrison Keillor)
Controversy-Addicted Wingnut Trump (John Earls)
Unhinged Self-Adoring Demagogue (New York Daily News)
A piece of SHIT and an embarrassment to humankind (Reza Aslan)
Master of Disaster (CNN)
Trump the Usurper (J. Robert Smith)
The Unraveler (Gabriel Sherman)
The Bigotry Emboldener (George W. Bush)
The Peter Principle Incarnate
The Bigliest Loser
The Pardonizer
The Ham-Handed Amateur (James Thurber)
The Hysteric (Vladimir Putin rebuked the Trump administration's "hysteria")
The Loss Leader
Hurricane Donald (the perfect storm of arrogance, ignorance and intolerance)
U Bum (LeBron James)
Mr. Brexit-Plus (Donald Trump)
Soulless Coward and Pathological Liar (Gregg Popovich)
Simple-Minded War Maniac (Ri Yong Hui)
Foolish Maniac with No Common Sense to be Beaten with a Stick (Ri Won Gil)
Garbage Snout (Rodong Sinmun)
Abyss of Doom (Korean Central News Agency)
Golf Links Gangster (Kim Jong Un)
Giant Gold Goliath (Robert Mugabe)
Tax-and-Spend Trump
Whiny-Ass Bitch (Bill Maher)
POTUS ↔ Toilet POT U.S.
Hocus Pocus POTUS (Michael R. Burch)
Smarm Bro
The Pariah (Kevin Durant said "We don't f*ck with him.")
The Cruelest and Pettiest President Ever (George Takei)
The Colossal Scandal (David Remnick)
The Backstabber (now Sessions, Spicer, et al, know what Trump really means when he says "I have your back!")
Pale Derider
The EmbarrA$$ment (after polls in three states revealed that the majority of voters are embarrassed by Trump)
American Grandstand (the pot called the kettle black when Trump accused CEOs of "grandstanding")
President Perk
The Fringe Benefiter (Michael R. Burch)
The Recusant
The Term Limiter (Trump seems intent on forcing impeachment sooner rather than later)
The Flip Flopper
Loser (Dan Rather)

Baron von Muchpoutin'
Baron von Muchfloutin'
Baron von Muchengropen
Lord of the Lies
The Queens Quisling

President Tons of Fun (Michael Che, SNL)
Melting Hunk of Uninformed Apricot Jello (Samantha Bee)
Crotch-Fondling Slab of Rancid Meatloaf (Samantha Bee)
Sixteen-Month Hindenburg Explosion (Samantha Bee)
Tub of Fermented Pig Lard
The Great Orange Man-Booby
Moby Prick (the Grate White Human Whale with a hyperactive blowhole)
The Incredible Bulk

The Alt-Right Uniter (Nazis are "fine people." Really? If it's wrong to oppose Nazis, why did we fight WWII?)
The Alt-White Delighter
The Albino RINO (Michael R. Burch)
Orange Supremacist (Samantha Bee)
Race-Baiting Xenophobic Religious Bigot (Lindsey Graham)
MAN WITH A KLAN (The New Yorker, in an article about Trump's ties to white supremacists including David Duke)
The Grand Lizard
The Daily Stormer
The Sturm und Drang Haranguer (Michael R. Burch)

Evil Con-Evil
The Utterly Untruthful President (Bob Corker)
Con Artist (Marco Rubio)
Faker Trump (Ruth Bader Ginsberg)
The Flimflam Man
The Illusionist (the Drudge Report called it an "illusion" that Trump is a conservative)
The Ameri-Con President (as in: "Can the Con!")
The Serial Shiller
The Huckster
Delusional Donald
Anti-Truth Trump
The Fearful Earful

The Supreme Sexist (Barbara Res, a former Trump employee)
Thrice-Married Foul-Mouthed Tit Judge (Samantha Bee)
Wall Choke Artist (Hillary Clinton)
Deranged Animal (Alyssa Mastromonaco, after Trump lied about other presidents not calling bereaved military families)
El Charlatán (Papo Christian, a Puerto Rico community organizer)
The Crooklyn Cuck
El Cid Vicious
Sir Prancealot
Sir Farcical
The Creepy Crawler (Hillary Clinton said Trump made her skin crawl during their debates)
Atomic Blonde
The Con-Flag-Grate-Shun-Ist (pun on "conflagration")
Mr. Art of the Squeal
Soylent Orange
The Hair Apparent of the Whig Party (Michael R. Burch)
The Self-Pardoner (Trump claims he has "complete power" to pardon himself and his cronies)
The Hair-Braned President (i.e., Trump's brain is apparently composed of the fuzzy layers of his 'do)
The Tweetstormer
The Filly Buster (Trump wants to eliminate the filibuster so that he can deny rights and healthcare to women, girls and babies)
The Lowest Common Dominator
The Holey Trinity (Trump is an unholy Trinity of "me, myself and I.")
The Human Abortion (Mike Fernandez)
Deaf Con One
The Fecal Point (Trump is the focal point only because he keeps exposing his enormous ass in public)

Trump acronyms: POTUS (Putin-Puppet of the United States), SCROTUS (So-Called Ruler of the United States, by Elayne Boosler), BLOTUS (Biggest Loser of the United States), DONALD (Dangerously Outrageous Nincompoop and Lady Diddler), TRUMP (The Real Undercover Manchurian President), S.O.S. (Son of Satan), D.U.M.B. (Deplorable Useless Man-Baby) and D.U.D. (DANGEROUSLY UNHINGED DONALD)

More Trump nicknames: The Wilting Wallflower, The Snapper (Garrison Keillor), The Tapp Dancer, Tap-Drunk Trump, Donald Dork, The Smug Mug Thug, Tweet-aholic Trump, Twitter Troll Trump (Marlow Stern), Tempest in a Tea Party Pot, Trumpochka, A$$hole, The Conswervative, The Cover-Up Artist, The Brazen Moron, the Con-Troll-er, Marvell's Ultimate Villain, Unkempt Troll Doll (Anna Merlan), Arrogant Asshole (Cher), Walking Cliché (Ian Flitoff), Gasbag (Tom Hanks), Walking Birth Control Ad (SNL), Putin's American Distributor (Keith Olbermann), Boss Hogg Trump, THE POST-WEST PRESIDENT (Sergey Lavrov), The Organ Grinder, Resident Rump, The Democracy Trumper, The Trumpster, Yalta II: the End of NATO (General Wesley Clark), Putin's BBF, Tweet Bait (Hillary Rodham Clinton), Twitter Twit, Unstable Cable Mogul, Low-Bar Limbo King, Human Vermin, The Trumpinator, The Manipulator, The Strike-Out King, Under-Endowed Dick Tater, Double Downer, King of Chaos, The Gay Grifter, Crony Capitalist (Sarah Palin), The Tweet Twit, The Conspiracy Errorist, Capricious Authoritarian Monarch (Dan Rather), KKK-Mart Caesar, The Rust Belt's Revenge (David Von Drehle), The Mad Hombre, Deplorable Donald, The Wizard of Ahs, Jaundiced Pinocchio

Donald Trump super-villain and superhero nicknames: Fatman, Duperman, Deadfool, Loki, Herr Fantastic, Doktor Strange, Doktor Doom, Doomsday, Deathstroke, HairDevil, Kingpin, Liceman, The Orange Hulk, The Orange Thing, Orange Spawn, Gambit, Venom, Hellboy, Hellmanbaby, Ironic Man, The Inhuman Torch, Blightcrawler, Two-Face, Orange Skull, Apocalypse, Mr. Sinister, Bane, Zoom, Shredder, Mongul, Abomination, Hobgoblin, Parasite, Lizard, The Codfather

Nicknames of Trump's Opponents, Critics and Victims

Robert Mueller III: Bobby Three Sticks (due to the III), Swan Song (his middle name is Swan), Trump's Shadow, My Friend Flipper
James Comey: Homey Comey, EZ-Comey-EZ-Goey, Show Me Comey
Stormy Daniels: The Perfect Storm, Stormy Whether, The Storm Trooper, The Renaissance Porn Star (Ron Jeremy), The Boss (Nina Hartley)
Mira Ricardel: Trump's Bane, Melania's Burden, Tricky Ricardel
Barack Obama: Barry, No Drama Obama
Hillary Rodham Clinton: HRC, Hill, Shrillary, Killary
Bill Clinton: Slick Willie, Bubba, The Big Dog
George H. W. Bush: Poppy, Shrub Senior
George W. Bush: Dubya, Shrub Junior
Jimmy Carter: Jimmy (he was the first American president to officially go by his nickname), The Peanut Farmer
Jeff Flake: Snow Flake (he was actually born in Snowflake, AZ), Flake The Flake (Donald Trump), Jeff Flakey (Trump)
John Kasich: Pope (he wanted to be the pope as a boy), Unit One (his choice for a Secret Service code name), Unit Two (his wife's alternate suggestion!)
Angela Merkel: Kasi, Frau Nein, Frau Europa, Mutti ("Mommy"), Mein Madchen (Helmut Kohl), The Iron Chancellor
John McCain: Hogan (George W. Bush), The Maverick (Sarah Palin), Crusty McCain (Donald Trump), McNasty (his political opponents)
Jason Miller: The Great Communicator, The Strategist, The Genius, The Smart One (he turned down the job of Trump communications director)

Nicknames of Trump's Family, Friends, Cabinet, Lapdogs and A$$ociates

Trump's Immediate Family and Most Intimate Friends (including Russian Controllers)

Ivanka Trump: Ivanka Tramp, Proxy Wife, Nordic Goddess, The First Lady-Daughter, Kushner's Crush, Kushner's Cush Toy, Daddy's Little Lapsitter, The Hot One, The Smart One, Glamorpuss, Princess Royal

Jared Kushner: The Good Boy (Donald Trump), Baby Boy (Ana Navarro), Cushy Kushner, Trump's Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin), Jarhead, Jarring Kushner, The Boy Blunder, Little Lord Fauntleroy, Ralph Lauren of Arabia, Nimrod, The Neophyte, Aide de Kampf (Michael R. Burch)

Tiffany Trump: Tiff, Wild Card, Trinket, Not Ivanka, M.I.A., P.O.W., The Imprisoned Princess of Trump Tower, The Forgotten Trump, The Unknown Trump, Miss Invisible, The Other Daughter, The Spotlight Shunner, The Anti-Trump, Any Tiff, Tiff Fanny, Fit Fanny, The Calabasas Countess

Marla Maples: Sap, Sappy, The Orgasmist (she announced to the world that sex with The Donald was her best ever), Georgia Peach (her nickname as a model), The Illusionist (she said that her marriage to The Donald was "built on an illusion"), The Delusionist, The Kabbalahist, Miss Resaca Beach Poster Girl, Miss Hawaiian Tropic, Designing Woman (she appeared on the TV show)

Barron Trump: Mini-Donald, Little Donald, Poor Little Rich Boy, Barron von Trump

Melania Trump: The Slovenian Sphinx (Maureen Dowd), Melania Antoinette, First Babe, Melanoma, The Ice Queen (Gloria Erin Ryan), The Cold One, The Swamp Queen, The Trump Sitter, The Superglamorous Stepford Wife (André Leon Talley), The Celebrity Apprentice Bride

Donald Trump Jr.: Junior, Dunce Jr., Son of Drumpf, Ponyboy, Usay, Fredo Corleone, Frito Corleone, Fraido, The Bedwetter, Diaper Don, Eddie Munster (Kathy Griffin), The Good Boy (Donald Trump Sr.)

Frederick Trump: Fred, Freddy Freeloader (he overbilled the government on housing projects), Frederick the Grate, Father of the Beast, The Kingmaker (Fred Trump said that he raised his son to be a "king"), Woody Guthrie's Bane (the famous singer-songwriter composed angry songs about Fred Trump's racism), The Blight Supremacist

Eric Trump: Eric the Red, Eric the Brain Dead, Eric of Orange, Eric Idle, Qusay, Date Rape (Kathy Griffin), Draco Malfoy, Sonny Corleone, Sonny-Boy, Eric the Hysteric, Marksman (his Secret Service code name)

Dave Duke: The Klansman, Mr. KKK, Grand Wizard, Grand Lizard, The Duke of Hurl, The Duke of Churl, Duke Nuke 'Em, Ill Douche, The Nazi of LSU (his college nickname), The Natty Klansman (he favors suits and ties over those traditional white robes), The Dark Knight (he founded the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan), Cuck of the White Supremacist Walk, The Blight Supremacist

Richard Spencer: The Snazzy Nazi, Retch Hard, The Retard, Dick Nuts, The Village Idiot, The Pillage Idiot

ICE Director Thomas Homan: Inhuman Homan (Michael R. Burch), The ICEman Cometh

NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre: Brain Drain Wayne, Loose Nuts LaPierre

NRA Spokesperson Dana Loesch: Failed Spokesmodel, Lethal Loesch

Vladimir Putin: Vova, Abaddon (the Angel of Death), Vlad the Impaler, Vlad the Terrible, Vladula, Pale Moth (his KGB code name), Botox (because of his smooth skin), Darth Vladimir, The Kremlin's Grey Cardinal, The Blonde Bond, The Barechested Cossack, Tsarzan, The Puppet Master, Trump's Controller, The BEAST

George Papadopoulos: Putin's Proxy, Putin's Puppet, Putin's Poppet, The Matchmaker, The Kremlin Connection, Mr. Moscow, Mueller's Mole, Papa Dope, Dopey, The Greek Geek, The Think Tanker, The Hudson Hawker, Coffee Boy, Coffee Grounds, The Dregs, Low Level, Trump's Cabana Boy

Straight from the jackass's mouth: Russian politician Vyacheslav Alekseyevich Nikonov, a member of the Duma (ruling assembly), said on live TV that U.S. intelligence "missed it when Russian intelligence stole the presidency of the United States."

Sergey Kislyak: The Recruiter, The Mole Man, Russia's Top Spy, Trump's Handler, The Impresario, Jabba the Gut, The Pillsbury Diplomat (Stephen Colbert)

Sergei Gorkov: Kushner's Controller, The Insider, The Financer, Putin's Piggy Banker, Mr. Rublebags, The Kremlin's Crown Prince of Profit, Mr. Vnesheconombank, The VEB of Deceit, The Black Widow

Natalia Veselnitskaya: Natashe Fatale, Natalia Romanova, Octohussy, Hussy Galore, Dishonor Blackman, High Jinx

Rinat Akhmetshin: Boris Badenov, Mr. Con-Fusion, The GRUsome Spook, The Mole, Mr. Counter Intelligence, The Propagandist, Putin's Shadow Lobbyist, The Man in the Shadows, The Shadowist, Trump's Controller

Rob Goldstone: The Gold Digger, The Name Dropper, The Pawn Broker, The Bet-Hedger (he posted a selfie of himself in a pro-Russia shirt hours after Trump was elected president)

Kirill Dmitriev: Killer Kirill, Mr. Back Channel, The Go-Between

George Nader: Unsafe at any Speed, Mr. Backdoor, George of the Bungle, Darth Nadir

Erik Prince: The Prince of Darkness, The Black Prince, The Dark Night, Creature from the Blackwater Lagoon, The Mercenary, Soldier of Misfortune, The Envoy, Trump's Surrogate, Erik the Red, Erik the Terrible, Prince Uncharming

Trump attorney Ty Cobb: The Oatmeal Guy (SNL's Michael Che), Captain Kinder-Zoo (Michael R. Burch), Maize, The Cobbler, The Corn Cobbler, The Hobbled Scare Crow, The Hit King, Asleep at the Wheel (Steve Bannon)

The "Big Six" or "Deep State Six"

Paul Ryan: Lyin' Ryan, Pious Paul, Paul Ruin, Eddie Munster, Alfalfa, A-ryan, Brown Nose, Nana Killer, The Granny Killer, Rathole, Trump's Cheerleader (Dan Rather), Gilligan

Mitch McConnell: Fuckface McTurtlebitch, The Turtle (Jon Stewart), Mitch the Snitch-Bitch, Mitch the Twitch, Mitch the Shitz, Mitch Switch Bait, Koch Addict (Michael R. Burch)

Orrin Hatch: Orrin Goering, Orrin Moron, Orrin Boring, Borin' Orrin, Boring Snatch, The Snitch Who Stole Healthcare, The Hatchling, Half-Hatched Orrin, Down the Hatch Orrin, Orin Drainpipe, The Albino Weasel, Mucoso, Snorin' Orin (he's older than the hills and needs lots of naptime)

Secretary of the Treasury Steve Mnuchin: Hedge Hog, PAC-man, No-Chin Mnuchin, The Foreclosure King, The Forecloser, The Double-Downer, The Granny Terminator, Dune Messiah, The Honeymooner, The Vulture Crapitalist

Chief Economic Adviser Gary Cohn: Sachs-man, The Goldman Sackman (he's hired, you're fired), Cohn's Disease, The Koch-Koch-Nut (Michael R. Burch), The Cohn-vict, Globalist Gary, CTC (Carbon Tax Cohn), The Cohnhead

Kevin Brady: Colonel Klink, Death Warmed Over, Mean Ways Brady, Mr. Secret Payoff, The SalesTaxMan, The Sales Tax Shaman

Trump's Inner Circle, Cabinet and various other Zealots

Secretary of Homeland Security and White House Chief of Staff General John F. Kelly: General Jackass (Anthony Scaramucci), General Alert, Hobo, The Hitcher, The Freight-Hopper (he hopped trains in his youth), Killer Kelly (Donald Trump's pet nickname for his favorite neo-CON), The Church Lady (by White House staffers), Nut Job (Donald Trump)

Chief Strategist Stephen K. Bannon: Trump's Torch, My Steve (Donald Trump), Trump's Brain (Elizabeth Williamson), Loose Cannon Bannon, Deceivin' Steven, Darth Bannon, Gríma Wormtongue, Trump's Eminence Grise (David A. Graham), The Grim Reaper (SNL), Sloppy Steve (Donald Trump)

Kellyanne Conway: Wrongway Conway (Michael R. Burch), The Spin-Mistress (Bess Levin), Miss Misinformation (Michael R. Burch), The Trump Whisperer (Frank Bruni), The Trump Hisser, Con-Way Twitter, Nutter Consigliere (Jim Newell), Vichy (Stephen Romanenghi), Fact-Free Agent (Michael R. Burch), Fatal Attraction (SNL), Alt-Right Barbie

Lindsey Graham: Flimsy Lindsey, Lindsey Gomez, Senator Grahamnesty (Rush Limbaugh), Graham Cracker, Stinkball, Bar Rat, Rascal, Trailer Trash, The Rape Apologist

"This is what you get when you go through a trailer park with a $100 bill."Lindsey Graham, equating women who claim to have been sexually abused with "trailer trash"

Ann Coulter: AnnThrax, Ann the Man, Coultergeist, Beltway Barbie, Yardsale Barbie (Tina Fey), Cuckoo Coulter, Tranny Annie, Rush Limbette, Mann Coulter, Chairman Ann, Ann Coltrear, Uber Bitchette, Colt 34D (allegedly her bra size, but a man would have to drink a helluva lot of Colts to want to be sure)

Laura Ingraham: Loopy Laura, Ingrasham, The High Priestess of Hate (Huffpost), The Pundette, The Spinster, The Spinstress, Miss Misinformation, Right Angle

Kellyanne Conway, Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham are known collectively as the Pundettes.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions: Buford T. Injustice, Evil Snoats, Granny Clampett, The Hobbit (Trevor Noah), Bill Dough Baggins (Michael R. Burch), Detourney General, Nuts (Donald Trump), Cloverleaf Pixie (Stephen Colbert), Possum Boy (SNL)

Former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson: SOS, Rexit, T-Rex, Rexosaurus, T-Wrecks, Br'er Rex, Rex Drillerson, Rex Shillerson, Rex Killerson, Rex Billerson, Mr. Rublebags, Putin's Puppet, Putin's Rasputin (Michael R. Burch), Rexputin, Putin's Right Hand Man, Secretary of Wait (Michael R. Burch), Secretary in State (Michael R. Burch), the Secretary of Stating the Obvious (after Tillerson called Trump an Effin' Moron after a high-level Pentagon meeting)

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo: Drone Strike Mike, Koch Addict, Wichita Lineman, Koch Float, Koch Zero, Dark Money Mike

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer: Scary Spicer (Elizabeth Harris Burch), Vanilla Spice, Stupid (Donald Trump), Sean Sphincter (College Voice), The Mouthpiece (David Horsey)

Director of Strategic Communications Hope Hicks: Hopeless Hicks, Tricky Hicky, Hicks from the Sticks, The Hickster, Huckster Hicks, Hopester and Hopie and Piece of Tail (Donald Trump), Dopey Hopie

White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci: The Mooch, Scary Scaramucci, Scarface, Scare-a-Douche, Loose Lips Scaramucci, The Mooch Smooch (Trevor Noah), The 'Do-Wop

Trump foreign policy adviser Carter Page: Stranichkin (Russian for "little page"), Inspector Gadget, The Window Dresser, Putin's Page Boy, Putin's Pimp, Putin's Apologist, Moscow's Brazen Apologist (Michael Isikoff), Trump's Moscow Mystery Man (Julia Ioffe), The Russian Mole, The Gazprom Greaser, Who? (Politico), Mr. Irrelevant

CIA Director Gina Haspel: Miss Paywall, Madame Torture

Sam Nunberg: Stunberg, The Stun of Sam, Fruit of the Loon, Nutty Buddy, Human Meltdown, Psycho Sam, Whine-o, Drunk Tank Escapee, Revenge of the Turd

Sherriff Joe Arpaio: Hitler, Shitler, Twitler, Wyatt Twerp, Wyatt TARP, Joe Pa Payola, Joe Paternal, Boss Hogg, Officer Loco, Wiley E. Peyote, The Sidewinder, Generalissimo Joe Arpaio

Trump senior policy adviser Stephen Miller: Young Gargamel (Stephen Colbert), Sméagol (Trevor Noah), The White Hinternationalist (Michael R. Burch), Basic Henchman (Trevor Noah)

Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke: Rinky-Dink Zinke, The Bozeman Bozo, The Knife Collector, On-the-Blink Zinke, Blinky Zinke, The Beagle Scout (Zinke appeared at a Trump event in his eagle scout uniform)

Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross: Sleepy, Naptime, Ross Rothschild (he worked for N. M. Rothschild & Sons), The Bankruptcy King, Bottom Feeder, Wilbur Wrong Force, Heavens to Betsy Ross, The Vulture Crapitalist

Deputy National Security Adviser for Strategy Dina Habib Powell: Dina Sure, Dina-Sore, T-Wrecks, Sachs-Girl, Sachs Diva, The Egyptian, Mummy Dearest

Deputy Chief of Staff Katie Walsh: Welshing Walsh, Katie Bar the Door, The Trump Sitter, The Man-Baby Sitter

Trump spokesperson Katrina Pierson: Hurricane Katrina, Miss Misinformation, Miss Spokestoady, The Holey Cruzader (she backed Ted Cruz before Trump), Little Miss Teapot, Miss PACman

White House press aide Michael Short: Short Timer, The De-press-ed Aide, Short Circuit

Mike Huckabee: Judas, Huckster Huckabee, Huckleberry Spin, Huckmaster General, Huck Fuckabee, Huck Upchuck, Brother Smother, Tax Hike Mike

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders: Sarah "Suck My Pee" Sanders, Kentucky Fried, Sarah Suckup, Basic Atrocity, Sister Smother, Spokestoady, The Spinstress, Hick Morticia

Paul Manafort: The Count, The Uber-Lobbyist (David Catanese), Putin's Revenge, The Russian Lobbyist-in-Chief, American Mole, The Ultimate Insider, Knuckles, Steamroller, The Six Million Ruble Man

Rick Gates: Prison Gates, Rick Grates, Hot Water Gates, The Walking Dead (Trump's staff), Mueller's Bitch, The Canary, The Stoolie

Roger Stone: Roger Rabid (Michael R. Burch), Dirty Trickster (Elizabeth Burke), Roger the Artless Dodger, State of the Art Sleazeball, The Most Dangerous Person in America Today (The Village Voice)

Acting Secretary of Homeland Security Elaine Duke: The Duke of Hurl

White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus: Trump's Nanny, Reince-y and Midget (Donald Trump), Reince "and Flush" Priebus, Follywood, Rinse Penis, Rinse Priapus, Prince Penis, Prince Precipice, Prince Rhesus, Prince Rebus, Princess Reba, "Rinse Twice and Spit" Priebus, Prince Precipitous, Rancid Rinse, Rancid Penis, Rimjob Precipuss, The Paranoiac (Anthony Scaramucci), Snidely Whiplashed (Michael R. Burch)

National Security Adviser John Bolton: Dudley Do-Wrong, Captian Fangeroo, The Iraq Hack, The Mad Bomber (he wants to bomb Iran and North Korea), Dr. Strangelove, Duke Nukem, PAC-Man, Jesse Helms Jr., Bull in a China Shop (Joe Biden), National DisASSter (Jimmy Carter)

National Security Adviser General Herbert Raymond McMaster: General Disaster, Master of Disaster, McMonster, McMasher, H.R. Huff'n'Puff, H.R. Disaster

Director of National Intelligence Daniel Ray Coats: Daniel in the Lyin' Den (Michael R. Burch), Rushin' Red Coats, Dan Coots, Dan Cahoots

Meghan McCain: Soylent Blonde, SoyBlo, Meghan McBane

Sarah Palin: Sarah Barracuda (her high school nickname), Sarahcudda, Shirknado (Michael R. Burch), Caribou Barbie, Half-Baked Alaskan, Mooselini, Moose-o-lini, The Wasilla Gorilla or Gurlzilla, Klondike Kardashian, Klondike Dike, The Wasilla Hillbilly, The Wasillabilly, Tundra Twit, The Moosiah Pit Bull in Lipstick (according to herself), Mama Grizzly, Palin-Drone, Chick Cheney, Sarah Stalin, Moose MILF, The Alaska Disasta, McCain's Bane, Northern Overexposure, Nightmayor, Sarah Snowjob, The Boreal Narcissus, The Blight Supremacist

Bristol Palin: Brisket® (she registered her name as a trademark!), Brisquet, Bras Tool, Barstool, Bristhole, Brissie, Bristie, Brissypants, Bitchol, Pigstool Grifter Jr.

Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch: Darth Evader, Goldman Sachs' Rubber Stamp, A$$hole, The Unjust Justice, The Grinder (for grinding ordinary Janes and Joes under the crushing wheels of corporations), The Greek Geek, Fratboy, FIJI-boy and the Fraternizer (for defending his college frat against charges of date rape)

Bill O'Reilly: Shill O'Reilly, Bull O'Really, Bill O'Goods, The Spin Doktor, Papa Bear (Stephen Colbert), Mr. Sexual HarA$$ment, Sex Beast, Sexual Predator, The Permanent Vacationer, Big O (George W. Bush), Podzilla (since his new medium will be podcasts)

Corey Lewandowski: Gory Corey, Mr. Assault and Battery, Single White Male (NY Mag)

Mike Pence: The Clown Prince, The Stepford Veep (Omarosa), Trump's Poodle (George F. Will), Out of the Loop Dupe (USA Today), Dense Pence, Senseless Pence, Fat Termite, Uber-Pious Pence (Daily Kos), The Vice Antichrist

Rick Perry: Crotch (because he wore tight jeans and frequently "adjusted" himself), Dumba$$, Secretary of the Department of Oops! ("Whazzat I run? Duh, I forget!"), Rick Moronic, Rick Moreanus, Texas Toast, The Brand Perry, The Bland Perry, The Gland Perry

Betsy DeVos: Cruella DeVos, Cruella DeVile, Diva DeVos, DeVile DeVos, DeVoid DeVos, Devolution DeVos, Wetsy Betsy, Betsy Dross, The Education Terminator, Madame DeVoucher, The Segregationist, The Semi-Polite Slighter (Michael R. Burch)

Secretary of Defense James Mattis: Mad Dog, Warrior Monk, Mad Monk, Chaos (his call-sign)

Secretary of Defense Mike Flynn: Dr. Strangelove, In Like Flynnt, Red Flynnstone (Michael R. Burch), Putin's Pawn, Amerika's Angriest General, Flynnskint, The Canary

Michael G. Flynn: Informer Jr., The Junior Canary (because he's about to sing like one)

Secretary of Agriculture George Ervin Perdue III: Sonny, Ophie Junior, The Rainman (he once "prayed up a storm" pleading for rain)

Secretary of Labor Andrew Puzder: Putz Puzder, Colonel Klink, The Wage Terrorist, The Wage Deflator, The Lowballer, The Burger-Bikini Baron, Randy Andy

Secretary of Labor Alexander Acosta: Alex, Dean, Trump's Token Hispanic

Secretary of Health & Human Services Tom Price: Sky-High Price, Pricey Tom, The Leer Jetter, Optics-Con, Tom Sellout, The Amerikan Mengele, One Man Death Panel, The Six Million Dolor Man, Tom "the Price is Your Life"

Secretary of HUD Ben Carson: Psychopath (Donald Trump), HUD Ornament (Michael R. Burch), Carsonoma (Michael R. Burch), Crazy Ben Carson, Dummy (his childhood nickname), Eli (his Secret Service code name), One Nation (his choice for a Secret Service code name)

Secretary of Veterans Affairs David Shulkin: Skulkin' Shulkin (Michael R. Burch), The Designated Survivor

Secretary of Veterans Affairs Ronny Jackson: Doc Savage, The Doc (Donald Trump), Greenhorn, The Rook

Secretary of Veterans Affairs Robert Wilke: Wee Willie Wilke, The Nanny

Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao: Mrs. McConnell, Tiger Wife (Stuart Bloch), Madame Secretary, Fireworks, Short Fuse, Madame Chaos

Deputy Attorney General Dana J. Boente: Deputy Dawg, Trump's Lapdog, Barney Fife, Goober, The Decoy

Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein: Rosey Red, Rushin' Rod, Russian Red, Red Rod, Mr. Peepers (Donald Trump)

UN Ambassador Nikki Haley: Political Prostitute (Kim Jong Un), Hurricane Haley, Darlin' Nikki

EPA Director Scott Pruitt: Hot Air Buffoon, The Possum (his college nickname), Big Oil's Poster Boy, Tar Baby, Tarball, The Freakin' Fracker, King Frack

EPA Director Andrew Wheeler: Wheeler Dealer, The Dark Energy Lobbyist, Mr. Fossil Fuel, The Fossil Fool, Ole King Coal, The EPA Creep, The Greenhouse Gasser, The Green Hoser

White House Staff Secretary Rob Porter: Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Rob, Self Deporter Porter, Kelly's Zero, Hicks' Hopeless, The Honeymooner

Trump's Allies, Supporters, Henchmen, Associates and Lapdogs

David Pecker: Peckerhead, Peckerwood, Would He Wood Pecker, Trump's Pecker Protector, The Irrational Enquirer, Pecker Power (Stephen Colbert)

Sean Hannity: Sean O'Scammity (Michael R. Burch), Sean of the Brain Dead (Michael R. Burch), Lumpy (Jon Stewart), Malignant Lump, Archbishop of Bullshit (Trevor Noah), Shammity, Sean Vanity, Sean Insanity, Flubberboy, Blubberboy, The Clown Prince of Conservatism, The Churnalist (Michael R. Burch), The Con Server Fib (Michael R. Burch)

Luther Strange: Big Luther, Lyin' Luther Strange, Strange Brew, Strange Bro', Dr. Strangelove, The Big Bunny (his college nickname), Lex Luther

Judge Roy Moore: Sludge Roy Moore, The Ten Commandments Fudge, Playboy Roy, Rob Roy, Captain America, Captain Shamerica, Fruit Salad, Fruit Loops, Doofus (his West Point classmates)

Michael Cohen: The Cohenhead, The Stormy Trooper (since he "facilitated" a 130K payoff to porn star Stormy Daniels), Stormy Whether

Sebastian Gorka: Gorky Park, Dorky Park, Borat, The Irregular, The Mad Hungarian, The Hun, The Incredible Shrinking "Expert" Witness

Omarosé Onée Manigault Newman: Omarosa, Pondarosa, Ass-O-Rama, Assorama, Trump's Token, Trump's Soul Sistah, The None-Celebrity Apprentice (Piers Morgan), The Firee, The Trump Hisser, Trump's Brown Sugar, The Nasty TV Villain (TV Guide), Affirmative Auction, The White House Wedding Planner, Auntie Tom, Lowlife and Dog (Donald Trump)

Jason Chaffetz: Chaff, Chaffy, Chaff-Lips, Chipmunk, Chipmunk Cheeks, Cheeky, Chip, Grandstanding Charlatan (Heather Digby Parton), "Putin on the Ritz" Chaffetz, (Michael R. Burch), Jason and the Ego-Nuts (Michael R. Burch), Half-Assed Chaffetz, Seductive Beaver Mascot (Stephen Colbert)

Chris Christie: Christie Kreme, The Illsbury Dough-Boy, The Cookie Monster, Big Boy (George W. Bush), Pork Chop, Pork Dork, Porky Pine, Porko Vallarta, Enormes Pantalones, Pufferfish, Trueheart (his choice for a Secret Service code name), Corpus Christie, Governor Sammiches, Christie Creme Brule, Boca Rotundo, MAN WITH A KLAN (The New Yorker), Heroic Deputy (Christie was hailed as Trump's "Heroic Deputy" by the Daily Stormer, a neo-Nazi website that endorsed Donald Trump), Puddin' Pants, Pigload, Ass Kistie

Jeb Bush: Tortoise (George W. Bush), Joyful Tortoise (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Low Energy (Donald Trump), Eveready, Veto Corleone, The Bushmaster, Bush League, Gator, Jebster

Newt Gingrich: Angry Tadpole, Angry Muffin (Peggy Noonan), Bloated Bullfrog, Newticles, Noot, Newt the Nit, Pig Newton

George W. Bush: Dubya, Shrub, Junior, Shrub Junior, Bush League, Bush Baby, Uncurious George, The Decider, GWB

Dick Cheney: The Penguin, Mr. Vice, Big Time (George W. Bush), Duke Nukem, Blam-Blam, Lucifer Incarnate

Donald Rumsfeld: Rummy (George W. Bush), Rheumy, Rheumatoid, The Ruminator

Rand Paul: Mr. Nerdy Perm, Mr. Poodle-'Do, The Aquah Budha, Truly Weird Rand Paul (Donald Trump), Justice Never Sleeps (his choice for a Secret Service code name; he later called it "one of those nicknames you try to make happen and miserably fail")

Scott Walker: The Desperado (in his high school yearbook), Niedermeyer (after the overly aggressive ROTC leader in the movie Animal House), Scott Balker, Harley, The Beagle Scout

Rudy Giuliani: Trudy, Broody, Rudy Ghouliani, Julianne, Trump's Clown, Judge Rudy, Rudy the Red-Nosed Panderer, Amerika's Scariest Mayor, Rude Rudy, Trump's Scampaign Manager, Trump's Legal Beagle, Batshit Crazy Rudy, Embalmer's Display Model (Stephen Colbert), Mulberry Street Dracula (Seth Meyers), Uncle Fester, Dr. Evil, Trump's Mini-Me, The Cracked Pot

Rush Limbaugh: The Human Hindenburg, Flush Limbaugh, Rush Dim-Bulb, Lush Dim Blah, Junkie, Limbaugh Cheese, The Rushian, Rushbo, Douche Rimjob

Mitt Romney: Bishop Romney, The RomneyBot, Plastic Man, Bain in the Ass (David Letterman), King of Bain (Newt Gingrich), Mitt the Twit, The Stench (Paul Ryan)

Marco Rubio: No-Show Rubio, AWOL, Young Rube, The Water Boy, Lightweight Choker, Little Marco, Easy Mark (Donald Trump), Marco Mussolini, Mr. Roboto


George Will: Admiral Weiner, The Assmaster, Will Tell, The Commissioner, The Post Washington Journalist
Joe Lieberman: Traitor Joe, Trader Joe, Joe Stalin, Lieber Dish, Holy Joe, Jihad Joe, Joe Doberman
Devin Nunes: Fake News Nunes, Known-Nothing Nunes, Numbnuts Nunes, Devin Devil, Trump's Stooge (Nancy Pelosi)
Dana Rohrabacher: Putin's Apologist, Putin's Proxy, Dirty Dana
Walter J. Clayton: Jay, Jaybird, The Bailout King, Hatin' Clayton
Robert Mercer: Hedge Hog, PACman, The Megadonor, The Quant King, The Vulture Crapitalist
Rebekah Mercer: Bekah, Bekah Bilker, Bannon's Backer, The Whiny Hellcat, First Lady of the Alt-Right
Marc Short: Short of the Marc, Shortstop, Shortcut, Koch Addict, Koch Lite, Dark Money Marc
Joseph DiGenova: Little Joe, The Minion, Stupor Nova, The Conspiracy King, Mr. Alias
Mercedes Schlapp: Mercy, Mercedes Bends (Michael R. Burch), Schlapp the Schlep, Schlapp Happy
Joseph Otting: Outed Otting
Mike Cernovich: Juicebro, The Conspiracy Theorist, Cuck of the Walk
Vyacheslav Alekseyevich Nikonov: Eyechart, Scrabble
Sergey Zheleznyak: Trump's Booster, The Lecturer
Vladimir Zhirinovsky: The Russian Trump, Count Vladula
Vyacheslav Volodin: Voodoo, Triple-V, V-Man
Aras Agalarov: The Mogul, The Oligarch
Emin Agalarov: Mogul Lite, Little Mogul, The Azerbijani Eminem
Yury Yakovlevich Chaika: The Crown Prosecutor, Trump's Elector
Ivan Timofeev: Ivan the Shareable
Irakly Kaveladze: Ike, Putin's Launderer, The Whitewasher
Denis Katsyv: The Launderer, Mr. Moneybags
Anatoli Samochornov: The Interpreter, The Deep State Contractor
Boris Epshteyn: Bore Us (his high school nickname), Boris Badenov
Alan S. Futerfas: Flutter-Fast, Scumsaver, Mr. Mob, Mr. Mafia,
Rhona Graff: The Gatekeeper, Keeper of the Graft, Graff Spree
Jamie Gorelick: The Dropout, The Gore Licker
Abbe Lowell: Abbe Low Hell
Peter W. Smith: The Go-Between, Putin's Procurer, The Hacker Backer
Michael Caputo: Capo Caputo, Kaputo, Kaput, Kaputz, Mafioso Mike
Marc E. Kasowitz: Marc the Narc, Snarky Marc, Case o' Shitz, Witzless
John Dowd: Dowdy Dowd, Howdy Dowdy, Porta-John, Asleep at the Wheel (Steve Bannon)
Jay Sekulow: Jaybird, Jaywalker, Seek and Destroy Sekulow
Joseph E. Schmitz: The Mercenary, Mr. Blackwater
Walid Phares: Squalid Walid, The Toad Warrior, The Maronite
General Joseph Kellogg: Special K, Cornflake
Carly Fiorina: Chainsaw Carly, Golden Parachutress, Secretariat
Susan Collins: Susceptible Susan Suckup, Susan Sap, Lazy Susan, Credulous Collins
Kirstjen Nielsen: Cursed Jen, Nielsen Schmilsson
Corry Bliss: Ignorance is Bliss, Sorry Corry, Whorey Corry
Mark Meadows: Dark Mark, Meadowlark Lemon, Idiot (John Boehner)
Robert Lighthizer: Bob Light, Light Thighs, Spear Tipper (Steve Bannon)
Anthony Kennedy: The Swinger
Leonard Leo: Leo the Alt-Right Lion, The Lyin' Lion
Richard Burr: Burrhead, Old Burdick, Dick Burr
Wayne Berman: Brr-Man, The Cold One
Jesse Watters: The Key to our Idiocracy (GQ)
Matt Boyle: Matt Boil, Fever Blister
Rick Santorum: Pope Sanctimonious I, Rick Satan, Prick Sanatorium, Rick Insanatorium
Benyamin Netanyahu: Bibi, King Bibi, Nit-and-Yahoo, Bibi the Merciless, Butcher Bibi
Sheldon Adelson: Addled Don, Shel the Shill, Hell Don Adelson
Rupert Murdoch: Rupert Murder-Doc, Papa Doc, Ru Paul (Stephen Colbert), The Last Press Baron (CNN), Faux Fox
Michael Steele: The Sesame Street Guy (Grover), The Man of Steal (pun on stealing elections), Steal Trap
Roger Ailes: Roger Dodger, Roger Codger, Roger Flogger, The Human Toad (Daily Kos)
Rob Portman: Beltway Rob, PAC-Man, Portmanteau
Ron Paul: Uncle Goldbug, Rue Paul, Dr. No, Rumple
Rod Blum: Bloomin' Idiot
Sheri A. Dillon: Gunsmoke, The Smoking Gun, Trump's Legal Beagle
Lamar Alexander: Lame Lamar, Hedy, Alexander the Ungreat, The Candyman, The Plaid Fraud
Marsha Blackburn: Creature from the Black Marsh, Marshy, Swampy
Diane Black: D.C. Diane, The Black Widow, Diane Tart, Diane Tort, Swamp Mistress
Sam Clovis: Beavis Clovis, the Walrus, the Boof-alo
Rick Scott: Prick Scott, Scott Free Prick, Pink Slip Rick, Governor Gollum, Skeletor
Jim Jordan: Blare Jordan, Airhead Jordan, Legislative Terrorist (John Boehner)
Sylvain Mirochnikoff: Sylvain the Brain Drain
K. T. McFarland: Far-Out McFarland, The Ditz, McFibber
Rick Dearborn: Deputy Lap Dawg, Greenhorn Dearborn
Jessica Ditto: Ditto That, The Parrot, Miss Redundant
John McEntee: Aide de Camp, Aide de Kampf, Teed-Off McEntee, Mac Attack
George Gigicos: Gigi, The Greek Geek, George of the Bungle
Keith Schiller: The Shill, The Babyguard, Killer Shiller
General Joseph Dunford: Fighting Joe, Four-Star, Marathon Man
Joe Hagin: Ragin' Hagin
Mo Brooks: Mo' Crooks, Mo' Rooks, No Mo' Books Brooks
Franklin Graham: Graham Cracker, Frank Lee Nutty, The Medievalist
Madeline Westerhout: Trump's Toady, Wicked Witch of the Westerhout
Michael D’Andrea: Drone Strike Mike, Ayatollah Mike, The Convert (to Islam)
Peter Navarro: The EEKonomist, Bullshitter in a China Shop
Antonin Scalia: Scaly Scalia, El Nino (Spanish for "infant"), El Ninny
David Melech Friedman: Moloch, Fried Brain Man, Mr. Apartheid
Carl Icahn: Mr. Delorean, Mr. Bailout, The Grey Grifter
Daniel Coates: Dan, Offshore Dan, Coates of Many Colors
Don F. McGahn: The Enabler, Cover Artist, Guitar Dan
Michael Dubke: Mike, Karl Rove Jr.
Peter Navarro: Novice, Nutjob, Ninny
Ajit Pai: Dark Yoda, Sinister Swami, The Broadband Baron
Glenn Beck: Voldemort, Emotional Fescue (Michael R. Burch)
Kevin McCarthy: Loose Lips, The Ship Sinker
Dave Brat: Bratman
Raul Labrador: Lapdog, Black Lab, Trump's Retriever
Karl Rove: Turd Blossom and Turd Polisher (George H. W. Bush), Red Rover, Red Raver
John Boehner: Boner, Orange Man, Weepy McDrunky, Sir Drunkalot
Maureen Dowd: The Cobra (George W. Bush), Howdy Dowdy, Fraulein Dowdy
Kayleigh McEnany: Kellyanne Lite, Inane McEnany, McLiar
Dan Scavino: Scarface, The Scavenger, Trump's Twitter Sitter, Trump's Caddy
David Bossie: Bossy, Bessie
Mark Green: Greenhorn, The Medic, The Homophobe
Ezra Cohen-Watnick: The Tapp Dancer, Deep Bloat I, The Whistleblower (Paul Ryan)
Michael Ellis: Eely Ellis, The Eel, Ellis Islander, Deep Bloat II
John Eisenberg: Illegal Eagle, Deep Bloat III, Iceberg
Billy Bush: Bush League, The Bush Beater
Richard LeFrak: The Freak, The Mogul, The Overseer
Harrison LeFrak: Little Freak, Dirty Harry
Steve Roth: Zen Master, The Vornado Tornado, Roth's Child, Wrothenstein
Stephen Ross: Dolphin, The Dauphin, The Donor
Gary Barnett: Jigsaw, Mr. Ostentation, Mr. Glitz
Jerry Speyer: The Modest Tuna, The Tishman Tuna
Joseph Chetrit: Big Brother, Big Bother
Larry Silverstein: The Green Banana, Lucky Larry, The Pianist
Chris Ruddy: Ruddy Buddy, Trump's Spokespal, Newsminion, The Smokescreen
Dean Heller: Heller High Water, Hell's Bells, The Hellion, The Dean of Healthcare Hell
Tom Cotton: Cottonmouth, Fluffy, High Cotton, Tehran Tom, Taliban Tom
John Cornyn: Corndog (George W. Bush), Cornpone, Corn Prone, Corny, Horn in Cornyn
John Barrasso: Bare Ass, The Ass, The A$$hole, John-Boy
Mike Lee: Mikey, The General, The Ungreat Dane, Alito Jr.
Cory Gardner: The Unconstant Gardner, Tory Cory, Scattershot
Pat Toomey: Sock It Toomey, Senator Elevator, Stand Pat, Me Too Toomey
Mike Enzi: Hate Frenzy Enzi, The Wyoming Homophobe
John Thune: Out-of-Tune Thune
AshLee Strong: The SpinMistress, The Black Widow
Barry Bennett: Bennett Dick Arnold, Bare Net Bennet
Mick Mulvaney Nicknames: Mr. Moneybags, Trump's Enabler, Mick the Prick, Mick Vain
Nick Ayers: Airhead Ayers, Hot Air Ayers
Josh Holmes: Sherlock Holmes's Dumber Brother
Seema Verma: The Verminator
Johnny DeStefano: Stephanie, The Rushin' Recruiter, Mr. Flip Flop
Margaret Peterlin: The Gatekeeper
Brian Hook: Hook'n'Crook, The Hooker, Mr. Memo
Corey Stewart: The Apprentice, The Cuckservative
Eric Cantor: Iago, Eric Ranter, Eric Cant
Matt Drudge: Donald's Drudge, The Drudgemaster, High Dudgeon
Janet Napolitano: Big Sis (Matt Drudge), Naptime Napolitano
Joe Scarborough: Scar 'Bro, Squint, Mourning Joe
Herman Cain: Black Walnut (himself), Black Wall Nut, The Murk of Cain (Michael R. Burch)
Haley Barbour: Boss Hogg, The BarbAryan
Condoleeza Rice: CON-die, Con Diva, Mistress Condi, Condo Leaser Rice, Con-Dough-Leeza
Susan Rice: The Trump Unmasker, The Oxfordian, The Valedictorian
UAE Crown Prince Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed al-Nahyan: Money Geyser, The Trump Gusher
Sally Yates: Long Tall Sally, Sally Forth
Walter Shaub: Mission Impossible Ethics, The Trust Buster
Jerry Falwell Jr.: Junior, Jerry Fallhell
Louise Linton: Lyin' Linton, The Lyin' Queen, Zimbabwe Barbie
Eric Bolling: Bolling Balls, Boll wEVIL
Andy Hemming: Hemming-Way, Hemming and Hawing Andy, The Trump Stroker
Martin Shkreli: Hedge Hog, Pharma Bro, Pharma Douche, Smarm Bro
Alex Jones: Alien Sasquatch Love Child and Hernia Boy (Stephen Colbert), Info Warrior, Yogurt Head
Alan Futerfas: Flutter Fast, The Hummingbird, Miami Vice
Bob Marshall: Virginia's Chief Homophobe (himself), Political Toast
Charles Gillespie: Swamp Thing (Steve Bannon), Jittery Republican Incumbent (Breitbart)
Kathleen Hartnett White: Ole Queen Coal, The Fossil Fool
Michael Grimm: The Grimm Reaper, Grimey
Michael Wolff: The Wolffman, Total Loser and Zero Access (Donald Trump)
Hogan Gidley: Giddy Gidley, Gadfly Gidley, Hogan's Zero
Stormy Daniels: Honeybunch (Donald Trump)
Kay Ivey: Poison Ivey, The Child Luv Guv, The Alabama Madame
Robert Bentley: The Luv Guv, Obently, The Flim-Flam Man
Reed Cordish: Greed Cordish, Hoardish Cordish
Felix Sater: The Satyr, The Margarita Assassin, Felix Satyr, Red Felix, Switchblade
Senator James Elroy Risch: Risky Risch
Mark Zuckerberg: Zuck, Slayer
David Broidy: Broidy Bunches

All Donald Trump Nicknames A-Z in Roughly Alphabetical Order, with Our Favorites in Bold

70-Year-Old Toddler — Charles M. Blow
The Abominable Showman
Agent Orange — Anonymous (possibly the hacker group?)
Agent of Deranged Change
Alpha Codger
Alpha Groper
Alpha Ignoramus
The Alpha Male Crybaby — George F. Will
Alpha Molester
Alpha Moron
The American Dauphin — Michael R. Burch
America's Black Mole — John Oliver
America's Burst Appendix — Samantha Bee
Amnesty Don — Joe Scarborough and Steve Bannon
Angry Cheeto
Angry Creamsicle — Stephen Colbert
Antichrist — (see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
A$$aulter-in-Chief — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Baby Fingers Trump — Michael R. Burch
Mr. Backdoor
Bag of Toxic Sludge
Baldfaced Crier
Barbecued Brutus
Barbarian at the Debate — Charles M. Blow
The Bare-Assed Embarrasser
John Baron and John Barron — Donald Trump (pseudonyms he used to brag about his sexual exploits)
Barrel-Shouting Meatball Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
Belladonald — Belladonna is known as "deadly nightshade" and the "Devil's berry"
Big Baby — Lewis Black
The Big Cheeto
Big Donald — Marco Rubio (revised to Pig Donald by feminists)
The Bilious Billionaire
Birther Maniac
Bizarro Bozo — Michael R. Burch
Bling the Merciless — Michael R. Burch
Blitzkrieg Bozo — Michael R. Burch
John Boehner's Tanning Partner in Crime
Boiled Ham in a Wig — Jon Stewart
Boldfinger — Michael R. Burch
Boss Tweet
The Bouffant Buffoon — Michael R. Burch
The Boychurian Candidate — Michael R. Burch (a pun on "The Manchurian Candidate")
The Boy Spout
The Boy Sprout
The Buoy Scout (Michael R. Burch)
The Boy Lout
Boys 'R Us — Michael R. Burch
Brat-Worst — Michael R. Burch (after Trump called Germans "very, very bad" for selling cars in the US)
The Brooklyn Bolshevik ― Michael R. Burch
Bully Boy — Mike Rubio
Bush Baby — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Bushman — Michael R. Burch, after Trump bragged about groping bush to Billy Bush
The Bushmaster
Butternut Squash — Trevor Noah
Cancer in a Wig — Trevor Noah
Captain Chaos — NBC News
Captain Outrageous — Michael R. Burch (a pun on Captain Courageous)
Captain Tantastic
The Chaos Candidate — Jeb Bush
Cheddar Boy
Cheez Doodle — Maureen Dowd
Cheez Whiz — John Oliver
Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator
Cheeto-in-Chief — Frank Vyan Walton
Cheeto Jesus — Rick Wilson
Chicken Donald — Martin O'Malley
Child Emperor — Tom Scharpling
Cinnamon Hitler — Trevor Noah
Chickenhawk — Because Trump dodged the Vietnam War yet portrays himself as a war hawk
The Climate Primate — Michael R. Burch
Clown Prince of Politics
Clown Prince of Poliwits
The Colossal Scandal — David Remnick
Comedy Entrapment — Jon Stewart
Comrade Cheetolino
Comrade Trumputin
Condoofus — Michael R. Burch
Conigula — Michael R. Burch
Con-Dike Gold Rush
Corn Husk Doll Cursed by a Witch — Chris Hardwick
The Cowardly Lyin'
Crybaby Trump — Jeff Kanew
Creep Throat — Seth Meyers
Cultural Punch Line — Tom Scharpling
Daddy Warbucks
Daddy Whorebucks — richismo
The Daft Draft Dodger
Dainty Donald
Damien Trump
Damn Turd Pol — anagram
Dangerous Donald — Hillary Clinton
Darkness Incarnate
Dorkness Incarnate
Darth eVader and Darth TaxeVader
Darth Goldplater — Michael R. Burch
Darth Hater
Deadbeat Donald — Dan Rather
Decomposing Jack O'Lantern — Jon Stewart
The Definer
Dehydrated Orange Peel — Libby Inman
Demander-in-Chief — Michael R. Burch
Der Groepenfuehrer
Der Trumpkopf
Diaper Donald — Kevin Cavanaugh
Dingbat Donald
Dire Abby — Michael R. Burch (a pun on "Dear Abby" because Trump tweets relationship advice, but it's usually dire)
Dishonest Don
The Disruptor
The Dick Tater
Dodgy Donald — CrumblingSlowly
Don the Con — Marc Bauer
Don Dementia
The Donald — Ivana Trump (in a 1989 Spy Magazine cover story)
Donald deGonad
Donald the Deadbeat — Dan Rather
Donald Dingbat
Donald Dipshit
Donald Dodo
The Donaldmeister
Donald Doom
The Donimator
Donald Douchebag
Donald Drumpf — John Oliver
Donald Drunk
Donald Duck Doo-Doo
Donald Ducknuke
Donald Dump
Donald the Menace
Donald Tax-Duck — John Joseph Ribovich
Don Goner
Donnie Bratso
Donnie Darko
Donnie Dorko
Donnie Tic Tac
Donny — SNL's Church Lady (Dana Carvey)
Don of Orange
Douchebag von Fuckface — Bill Maher
The DREAMcrusher
Dr. Strangelove
D.U.D. ― Michael R. Burch (for "Dangerously Unhinged Donald" by Glenn "Emotional Fescue" Beck)
Duke Nuke 'Em
Dumbo — Grace Taylor
The Dumpster — pun on Trumpster and "Dump Trump"
Ego Maniac
The Emperor with no Balls — Graffiti found on naked statues of Trump
The Emperor with no Clothes
Evil — Gloria Reed
Failed Mail-Order Meat Salesman — Ashley Feinberg, for Trump Steaks
The Fanta Fascist
Fat Blabby — Lewis Black
Fatso Bratso ― Michael R. Burch
Fearmonger-in-Chief ― Rolling Stone
The Feeb — George F. Will ("a feeble president")
Felonious Punk ― Michael R. Burch
Feral Shouting Meatball Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
Field Marshall Trump
Fifth Avenue Fraud
Fifth Avenue Freeze-Out (for trying to deny vets the right to street vend on Fifth Avenue)
Financially Embattled Thousandaire — Gail Collins
Flat Top — Trump's boyhood nickname
Flip Flopper
The Fomentor — Trevor Noah
The Fomentalist
Forrest Trump
The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse (after George W. Bush, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann)
Foxymoron ― Michael R. Burch
Fragile Soul — Ted Cruz
Fraud — Bernie Sanders
The Fraud-U-Lent President
Frisky Frisker — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Fruit of the Loom — for looming over Hillary Clinton at their second debate
Fuckface von Clownstick — Jon Stewart
The Gender Blender
The Gender Defender
Genghis Can't and Genghis Cant — Michael R. Burch (because unlike Genghis Khan, he can't rule the world, making his promises mere cant)
Genghis Con — Michael R. Burch
The Germinator (Trump hates to shake hands, fearing germs)
God's Gift to Comedy—Jerry Seinfeld
Godzilla with Less Foreign Policy Experience — Stephen Colbert
Gold Faithful — Michael R. Burch
The Gold Flake
Golden Wrecking Ball — Sarah Palin
Government Expander — Glen Beck
Gossamer-Skinned Bully — Graydon Carter
Grandpa Fucko — Kyle Bunch
The Great Gropesby — Michael R. Burch
The Great Gutsby — Michael R. Burch
The Great White Dope
Groper Cleave Hand — Michael R. Burch
Grope Dope
Groper-in-Chief — Nicholas Kristof (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Halfwit Tweet Twit
Hair Apparent — pun on Heir Apparent
Hair Furor — pun on Herr Führer
Hair Hitler — pun on Herr Hitler
Head Twit
Herr Führer Trump
Herr Lugenpresse Dan Rather
Herr Trump
His Sicko-Fancy ― pun on "sycophancy"
Hissy-Fit Hitler Elizabeth Harris Burch aka Ladydragyn
Hissy-Fit Hypocrite
Human Abortion ― Mike Fernandez
Human Amplifier
Human Combover
Human Corncob — Erin L. Cody
Human Bullhorn — Jim Newell in Slate
Human-Toupee Hybrid — Stephen Colbert
Humble — Donald Trump's ironic choice for a Secret Service codename
Humble Trump — Eric Trump
The Hunchback of Notre Shame — Michael R. Burch
Hurricane Donald ― Jeff Singer
Hypocritic Oaf — Michael R. Burch
Immigrant-Bashing Fascist Carnival Barker — Martin O'Malley
In-Vet-Irate Liar — for claiming to "support" vets while trying to sweep them from NYC streets
The ISIS Candidate
Jack the Gripper — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Job Security (for Comedians) ― Jimmy Kimmel
Keeper of the Golden Commode ― Michael R. Burch
Kelly's Zero
Killer Klown
King of Debt
King of Queens
King Leer
King of Sleaze
King of Spin
King of the WhoppersUSA Today
King Trump
King Tut — His insults make billions of people go "Tut, tut, tut!"
King Twit
K-Mart Caesar
Lady Fingers Trump — Don C. Reed
The Lamé Duck President
Sir Leakalot ― Michael R. Burch
Lenin's Gremlin — Michael R. Burch
Le Petit Prince Daisyfingers — Michael R. Burch
Little Donnie Diaperpants ― Michael R. Burch
Liddle Donnie Ladydiddler — Michael R. Burch
Loosin' Donald — Ted Cruz
Lord Dampnut — anagram
Lord Voldemort — Rosie O'Donnell
The Lowlife
The Low Light
The Lowest Common Dominator ― Michael R. Burch
Machado Meltdown — Hillary Clinton
The Madness of King Gorge ― Michael R. Burch
The Mad Shambler
Man-Baby — Jon Stewart
The Mandarin Candidate
Mango Mussolini
Master Debater
Meathead — John Joseph Ribovich
Mein Furor — Murfster35 on DailyKos
Melania's Burden — Vanity Fair
The Michelangelo of Ballyhoo — David Von Drehle in his TIME cover article
John Miller — Donald Trump (a pseudonym he used to brag about his sexual exploits in the third person)
Mogul — his Secret Service code name
Moneydiaper McStupid — Nick Musgrave
Mr. Brexit — Donald Trump
Mr. Firepants
Mr. Inappropriate
Mr. Boinker Oinker
Mr. Macho — Bernie Sanders
Mr. Trickle Down ― Michael R. Burch
The Man of Steal — Trump hotels have been built with illegally-imported Chinese steel
Mr. Meticulous — Trump's military academy nickname (he folded his underwear into neat squares)
Mr. Wiggy Piggy — Michael R. Burch
Mussolini's Taint — Kyle Bunch
Narcissistic Human Airhorn — Chris Hardwick
The New Furor — Pun on Führer
New York Dork
New York Pork Dork — Michael R. Burch (because Trump's companies have feasted on government subsidies and tax breaks)
No More Donald — Elizabeth Warren
Octopussy Groper
Ole King Coal — Michael R. Burch
Optimus Grime — Michael R. Burch
Orange Anus — Rosie O'Donnell
Orange Bozo
Orange Caligula — Victoria
Orange Clown
Orange Crush
Orange Julius — A pun on the fruit drink chain and Julius Caesar
Orange Man
Orange Manatee — Stephen Colbert
Orange Moron
Orange Oligarch
Orange Slug — Rosie O'Donnell
Orange-Tufted War Troll — Michael R. Burch
Orange-Vanilla ISIS — Michael R. Burch
Pander Bear
Pander Hair — Elizabeth Harris Burch
Party Pooper — Trump poops on his own party
Peripatetic Political Showman — The Fiscal Times
Persimmon Satan — Michael R. Burch
Pile of Old Garbage Covered in Vodka Sauce — Trevor Noah
The Puerile Sophomoric Sniveler — Charles M. Blow
Pig Donald — a variation of Big Donald adapted by feminists
Political Gutterball — Michael R. Burch
The Poll Cat — Michael R. Burch
Poor Donald — Hillary Clinton
Poster Child of American Decline — Robert Spencer
POTUS WRECKS — Michael R. Burch
The Predictable Endpoint of Republicanism — Charles M. Blow
President Blabbermouth
President Gold Man Sucks
The Presumptuous Nominee — Hillary Clinton
Prima Donald
Prima Donna
Primate Donald
Pudgy McTrumpcake
Puffed Up Daddy
Putin's Bitch
Putin's C*ck-Holster — Stephen Colbert
Putin's Gambit — Michael R. Burch
Putin's Lapdog
Putin's Pet
Putin's Poppet ― Michael R. Burch
Putin's Puppet
Putin's Rasputin
Putin's Useful Idiot
Quasi-Dodo ― Michael R. Burch
Queens' Reich
Rabble-Rousing Demagogue — John Cassidy
Republican Rapture Inducer

Riptide of RegressionDan Rather
Ronald McDonald Trump-Bozo — Michael R. Burch
The Russian Mole
The Scattershot Autocrat
Screaming Carrot Demon — Samantha Bee
Scrooge Grinch McGrump — Michael R. Burch
Scrooge McTrump
Semi-Sentient Bag of Farts
The Serial Feeler — pun on "serial killer" (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
The Serial Liar
Shark Dressed Man-Boy — Michael R. Burch
The Shillsbury Doughboy — Michael R. Burch
The Silver Spoon Scion — Charles M. Blow
Sir Pissalot ― Michael R. Burch
Sir Pissypanties ― Michael R. Burch
Sir Sissypants
Snake Oil Salesman — Rosie O'Donnell
Sniffles — after Trump sniffled like a cocaine addict during a debate
The So-Called President — LeBron James
Sociopathic 70-Year-Old Toddler — Samantha Bee
The Son King (Trump's father made him rich; pun on "Sun King")
The Shun King
The Stun King
Sparkly Princess Trumpelina — Michael R. Burch
The Spin King

The Spinster and The Sinister Spinster
Stalin's Paladin
Stuporman — Michael R. Burch
Super Callous Fragile Racist Extra Braggadocios
The Surreal Donald Trump
Talking Yam
Tan Dump Lord — anagram
Tanning Bed Warning Label
Tangerine Jesus
Tangerine Tornado — SNL's Church Lady (Dana Carvey)
Teflon Don
Terminator Trump
Terroristic Man-Toddler — Charles M. Blow
Thinskinned Skinflint ― Michael R. Burch
Tic-Tac-Dough — Michael R. Burch
Tic-Tacky Trump
The Tin-Pot Despot — Nicholas Kristof
Tiny Hands Trump
The Transgender Rearender ― Michael R. Burch
Toxic Fungi ― Charles M. Blow
Transender Trump (Trump transcends decency by making himself the ender of equality for transgenders)
Tricky Trump
Tricky Don Trump — after Tricky Dick Nixon
Trotsky's Triumph
Trumparius — Nate Silver
Trump Card
The Trumpet — Trump's boyhood nickname
Trump of Doom — Michael R. Burch (first used in a Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
Trumpdozer — TIME Magazine
Trumpelstiltskin — Joy Behar
Trumpling Dildo
Trumpocalypse — Markos Moulitsas
Trumptastrophe — Chris McKay
Truthophobic Trump — Elizabeth Harris Burch
Tsar Ridickulous — by Michael R. Burch (a pun on Tsar Nicholas)
Tsarzan — by Michael R. Burch (first used on Facebook and in a Tweet on July 16, 2017)
Twat Twit
Tweet Twit
Tweety Blurred — Michael R. Burch
Twinkiefingers Trump
Twinklefingers Trump
Twitter-Drunk Donald — a Bush aide
The Twitter Flitterbug
The Twitter Flitterer
The Twitter Spitter
The Twitter Terror
Two-Bit Caesar — Bill Kristol
TyRANTosaurus Wrecks — Michael R. Burch
Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole — Jon Stewart
The Unprecedented President
Unreality King
Vanilla ISIS
The Vet Evictor
The Viagra Dough Boy
Voldemort ― Rosie O'Donnell
Walking Punchline
Weak Donald — Trevor Noah
The Wear Wolf of Wall Bleat — Michael R. Burch
The West Wing-Nut — Michael R. Burch
Whiny Little Bitch — Bill Maher
The White Kanye ― Bill Maher
Widdle Donnie Diaperpants ― Michael R. Burch
The Winning Whiner — Trump said he "wins" by whining
World's Greatest Troll — Nate Silver
The Wrath of Con — Michael R. Burch
Xenophobic Sweet Potato Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
YUGE Stooge
The Zen Master of Hate
The Zookeeper ― That's quite a menagerie Trump's keeping in the White House!
The Zodiac Biller ― Michael R. Burch (Trump and his father overbilled the U.S. government)

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