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Donald Trump Nicknames
Trump Family/Friends/Associates/Lapdog Nicknames

Welcome to the largest online collection of Trump-related nicknames, puns and jokes—all completely free and without annoying ads (we too loathe pop-ups). Now you can astound your friends and confound your political foes with the perfect nicknames for every occasion! Trump nicknames range from A to Z, from Agent Orange to the Zodiac Biller. Our favorites include Putin's Puppet, Hair Hitler, Hair Fuhrer, The New Furor, Adolph Twitler, Tweety, Tsarzan, King Gorge, Conigula, Gingervitis and Dire Abby. There are "superhero" nicknames like Bratman, Stuporman and The Super Duper. But perhaps no nickname captures the "real Donald Trump" better than Donald Drumpf and Drumpfkopf. You can employ your browser's search feature or use CTRL-F to find nicknames for Trump's family, friends and lapdogs such as Melanoma (Melania Trump), Proxy Wife (Ivanka Trump), Aide de Kampf (Jared Kushner), Wrongway Conway (Kellyanne Conway), Koch Addict (Mitch McConnell), Cruella DeVile (Betsy DeVos), Paul Ruin (Paul Ryan), Detourney General (Jeff Sessions) and HUD Ornament (Ben Carson). We also have Trump family nicknames like The Brooklyn Hillbullies and Trump administration nicknames like Moscow on the Hudson, the Ogle Office and The White Supremacist House, so please prepare to be entertained!

Donald Trump is now ahead of Hillary Clinton in the polls. This was just reported in The Washington Post, and 2,000 years ago in the Book of Revelation.―Conan O'Brien

Let's get this straight: Trump releases the Nunes memo and the stock market immediately crashes 666 points. The federal budget deficit Trump's first fiscal year was 666 billion dollars. His family owns 666 Fifth Avenue, a street symbolic of money (Mammon). The Trump Tower is 203 meters tall, or 666 feet high.
On the Ides of March, he had 666 delegates. Trump was born on a blood moon. His ancestor who started the family business died on 6-6-6. Her name was Elizabeth Christ Trump. Elizabeth means "oath" so her name can be interpreted as "oath for Christ to be trumped." Is it just me, or are we living in a real-life Omen movie?

A zoomed out version of the same photograph shows Trump boarding the plane on January 2

Trending: Fragile Man, after Trump sought to boost his already hyper-inflated ego by having tanks roll down Pennsylvania Avenue in a third-world-ish military parade. Call Trump the Banana Republican, for emulating Fidel Castro, Papa Doc, Augusto Pinochet and Manuel Noriega. Or call him, as Rebecca Solnit did, the Most Mocked Man in the World, after Trump's bald pate was exposed for everyone to see on an airport tarmac. As for Republicans who support Trump despite his obvious unfitness for duty, just call them what they are, Bananas.

The Top Ten Donald Trump Nicknames ... Oh Hell ... So MANY to choose from ... Better make it the Top 25, 50, 100 or 10,000!

(#1) THE ANTICHRIST — when the prophets spoke of the "Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking literally? (For a YUGE slew of 666 connections, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
(#2) Short-Fingered Vulgarian — by Graydon Carter (a nickname Trump hates because he thinks it implies that he is under-endowed "down there")
(#3) Agent Orange — by Anonymous (a lethal product of deMonsanto and DonSatan)
(#4) Golden Wrecking Ball — by Sarah Palin (who was not trying to be funny, but ended up being all too accurate ... so sad!)
(#5) Fuckface von Clownstick, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole (the UNAbomber?) — by Jon Stewart
(#6) The White Kanye ― by Bill Maher (or is Trump more accurately the Yellow-ish-Orange Kanye?)
(#7) Lord Voldemort, Orange Anus and Snake Oil Salesman — by Rosie O'Donnell
(#8) The Trump of Doom — by Michael R. Burch (adopted from the Bible and first used in a possibly prophetic Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
(#9) The White Pride Piper — Trump is the poster boy for the "Make AmeriKKKa Grate Again" movement of white supremacists, neo-nazis and skinheads
(#10) Man-Baby — by Jon Stewart (this one inspired an avalanche of jokes and similar nicknames; for instance, Robert De Niro called Trump "our Baby-in-Chief")

The picture above―the earliest known image of The Donald―is evidence that he was suckled in Emperor Palpatine’s romper room.

He' a Man-Baby. He has the physical countenance of a man, and a baby's temperament and tiny hands.―Jon Stewart

Even George Orwell could not have foreseen the rise of Big Baby Brother.—Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Nicknames coined by Trump are typically childish, unimaginative and repetitive: Little Rocket Man (Kim Jong-Un), Liddle' Bob Corker (Trump apparently has no idea what apostrophes are used for; where's the missing letter?), Little George Stephanopoulos, Little Marco Rubio, Little Adam Schiff (quintuple repetitive, so sad!), Al Frankenstien (misspelled, stupid!), Psychopath Ben Carson, Psycho Joe Scarborough (repetitive, weak!), Sloppy Steve Bannon, Sloppy Michael Moore (tedious, low energy!), Nuts (Jeff Sessions), Nut Job Glenn Beck, Nut Job Lindsey Graham, Nut Job James Comey, Nut Job Bernie Sanders, Nut Job John Kelly (sextuple repetitive, incompetent loser!), Crazy Bernie Sanders, Crazy Megyn Kelly, Crazy Joe Scarborough, Crazy Jim Acosta (quadruple repetitive, so dumb!), Crooked Hillary Clinton (hypocritical, sad!), Lightweight Megyn Kelly, Lightweight Choker Marco Rubio, Lightweight Lindsey Graham (triple repetitive, lightweight!), Low Energy Jeb Bush, Pocahontas (Elizabeth Warren), Lyin' Ted Cruz, Waterboy & Easy Mark (Marco Rubio), 1 for 38 (John Kasich), Fake Tears & Cryin' Chuck Schumer, Dumb as a Rock & Low IQ (Mika Brzezinski), Jeff Flakey, Killer Kelly (John Kelly), Hopie & Hopester (Hope Hicks), Reince-y (Reince Priebus), Crusty John McCain, Liberal Puppet (Doug Jones), Wacky (Frederica Wilson), Big Luther Strange, Truly Weird Rand Paul, Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd, Covfefe (?), Fake News (self-incrimination, moron!), The Failing New York Times, Crippled America, ... or how about the 70+ people Trump has called "loser"?

NOTE: After our captioned pictures of Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper, there are literally thousands of Donald Trump nicknames sorted into categories like Trump 45 Nicknames, Trump Swamp Nicknames, Immature Trump Nicknames, Senile Trump Nicknames, Trump Sexual Assault Nicknames, Trump Coloration Nicknames, Trump Hairdo (and Hair-don't) Nicknames, etc. If you're looking for something in particular, just keep scrolling down and you're sure to find it (and a lot more)!

Q: What do you call it when a Man-Baby takes over the American government?
A: Coup d'Tot!

President Donald Trump signed bills in the  Roosevelt Room of the White House on Monday.

The Incredible Shrinking President uses the world's smallest pen and desk to sign his latest Dick-Tater proclamations. The women pictured are nannies beseeching the Boy Blunder to take a nap and stop bullying the world, but the Terroristic Man-Toddler will have none of that! Bratman believes in ACTION! According to CIA Director Mike Pompeo, the mADD Man-Imp prefers his "intelligence" to be delivered with colorful pie charts, maps, pictures, videos and "killer" graphics. In other words, make military intelligence more entertaining, more exciting, more fun―like a CARTOON! Such is the Boychurian Candidate's latest thought bubble! Fortunately the Combover Kid's undersized hands are too tiny, weak and delicate to key in the nuclear codes, but it's not for his lack of trying to destroy the world!

President Donald Trump holds up his pen after signing the Historically Black Colleges and Universities HBCU Executive Order, Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017, in the Oval Office in the White House in Washington.

Trump's nannies applaud as Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper learns to operate a safety pen with his teeny-tiny fingers. The Brooklyn Brat is certainly proud of his "big boy" accomplishment. But so far no one has been able to potty-train the Boss Baby's mouth (much less his Twitter account)! Liddle Donnie Diaperpants was very excited by his unexpected victory in the 2016 presidential election: "After I had won, everybody was calling me from all over the world! I never knew we had so many countries!" Yes, and now Superbrat can do his three favorite things at the same time: cheat at golf, lie about his golf game, and destroy the world in between putts!

Man-Toddler Trump holds his bottle tightly, with two undersized infant hands, to avoid spills! The septuagenarian Water Boy―no, make that Water Baby―once belittled Marco Rubio for gulping water in public. But even Rubio the Unready was able to drink water one-handed! The Cry-Bully has the tiny hands and maturity level of a toddler, but as Eminem observed he is also our Racist Grandpa―out of whack with the times and wacky to boot. So let's give him the boot. The White Pride Piper has called entire nations "shitholes." The Grate Divider's solution to immigration? Import more Norwegians, more fair and blonde Ivankas! But if Trump was as smart as he claims, he'd know that Norwegians aren't going to sacrifice their much higher standard of living to slum under the thumb of a Xenophobic Ritz Cracker. Steve Bannon, the ultimate Trump insider, confirmed that Trump is the Pre-Teen President when he was quoted by Vanity Fair comparing the president to an 11-year-old child! John Kennedy observed that with Trump in the driver's seat our government is like "a bunch of kids in the back of a minivan."

Little Donnie Discord just had another temper tantrum. He's mad at Jeff "Possum Boy" Sessions again―this time for blowing the Alabama election. After all, when Squirrely Sessions left the Senate, that triggered the election lost by Sludge Roy Moore. But who offered Sessions his current job? Of course it was Little Donnie Dimwit!

According to Senator Bob Corker, three Man-Babysitters are diligently trying to keep the nation from chaos: Rex Tillerson, John Kelly and James Mattis. Donald the Menace predictably started twittering insults and lies at Corker, whose sardonic reply was priceless: "It's a shame the White House has become an Adult Day Care Center. Someone obviously missed their shift this morning." In other words, the Man-Babysitters lost track of their brattish charge! Corker is not the only insider with that opinion, since Trump attorney Ty Cobb recently opined that he and General Kelly are "the only adults in the room" at the White House. That makes Trump a Juvenile Delinquent according to one of his senior advisers! Corker later accused Donald DeGonad of publicly castrating Tillerson. Wow, that is one mean Man-Baby!

The Constitution does not allow 13-year-olds to become president and now we can see why. Trump supporters voted for change, and boy, are they going to get it! — Garrison Keillor, who calls Trump the "Boy President"

"I will tell you the one description that everyone gave, everyone has in common: They all say he is like a child. And what they mean by that is, he has a need for immediate gratification. It is all about him." Fire and Fury author Michael Wolff revealed that "100 percent" of Trump's senior advisers and even his family, question his intelligence and fitness for office." Wolff quoted top aides calling Trump "a moron, an idiot." Why? "Let's remember, this man does not read, does not listen. So he's like a pinball, just shooting off the sides."

To see how Trump fulfills Biblical prophecies, please click the hyperlink.

Nicknames for Trump and his minions have been coined by Alec Baldwin, Steve Bannon, Glenn Beck, Samantha Bee, Joy Behar, Joe Biden, Lewis Black, Elayne Boosler, Graydon Carter, Dana Carvey, Michael Che, Cher, Hillary Clinton, Stephen Colbert, Bob Corker, Ted Cruz, Robert De Niro, Eminem, Tina Fey, Al Franken, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Kathy Griffin, LeBron James, John Kasich, Garrison Keillor, Jimmy Kimmel, Bill Kristol, David Letterman, Bill Maher, John McCain, Michael Moore, Seth Myers, Trevor Noah, Barack Obama, Rosie O'Donnell, Keith Olbermann, John Oliver, Martin O'Malley, Michael Moore, Robert Mugabe, Sarah Palin, Randy Rainbow, Dan Rather, Rob Reiner, Mitt Romney, Marco Rubio, Bernie Sanders, Joe Scarborough, Bernie Shine, Nate Silver, Jon Stewart, George Takei, Kim Jong Un, George Will, Michael Wolff, Fareed Zakaria, and even Trump and his first wife, the former Ivana Trump (who coined The Donald).


The Ugly Shamerican (Michael R. Burch, after Trump called less fortunate nations "shitholes")
The White House Resident (not our president)
PRESIDENT EVIL (a pun on Resident Evil)
The Un-American President (The New York Times, Barack Obama, resigning members of the President's Committee on the Arts and Humanities)
The Indecent President
President Photo-Op (Trump was all grins and thumbs-up during photo-ops, while pretending to "console" victims of the Broward school massacre)
Textbook Generic Lay (the ultimate sexual insult, from porn star Stormy Daniels)
The Dermagogue (Michael R. Burch)
The Fake News Sewer Spewer
Tax & Spend Trump (the national debt is exploding with a 666 billion dollar budget deficit in Trump's first fiscal year)
Cadet Bone Spurs (Tammy Duckworth)
IT (As in Young Frankenstein when Igor cries "It's alive!" Yeah, it's wandering around creating a lot of mayhem, but is it human?)
Flat-Out Bat-Shit Nuts (Bill Maher)
Nutso (Katie Walsh)
Malice in Blunderland (Michael R. Burch)
The Mayfly (although actually mayflies have longer attention spans than Tweety)
Drunk Dad (Charlie Dent)

Retiring Rep. Charlie Dent (R-Pa.) likened the GOP to a dysfunctional family: "Dad's drunk again but we don’t talk about it."

Fucking Idiot (Rupert Murdoch, as quoted by NY Magazine)
Fucking Moron (Rupert Murdoch, as quoted by Michael Wolff)
Fucking Fool (Robert De Niro, Sam Nunberg)
Hopeless Idiot (H.R. McMaster, the nation's top national security adviser)
Dope (H.R. McMaster)
Dumb as Shit (Gary Cohn, chief economic advisor to Trump)
THE DOTARD (Kim Jong Un)
Donnie Dementia (Michael Moore, who says Trump is "unfit to serve" due to dementia)

THE MORON makes Rex Tillerson the Secretary of Stating the Obvious! The irate Rexit called his boss an EFFIN' MORON after Big Rocket Man called for a "nearly tenfold" increase in the US nuclear arsenal. According to Popular Mechanics, that would cost $15 trillion dollars for 50,000 nukes that can never be used! At nearly four times the entire federal budget, "it would be the most expensive chest-thumping exercise ever." Yep, sounds effin' moronic to us! Trump claimed that he didn't call for the increase, but on December 22, 2016 he tweeted: "The United States must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability!" Now the twitterverse is exploding with hashtags like #moron #morongate and our favorite, the poetic #MoronDon.

The Abominable Showman
The Mandarin Candidate
The Banana Republican (Bill Kristol says the GOP has "a cult of personality worthy of a Banana Republic.")
Fragile Man (Trump wants to have a military parade with tanks rolling down Pennsylvania Avenue, shades of Kim Jong-un!)
The Surreal Donald Trump
Paper Tiger (McKay Coppins in the Atlantic, because Trump hasn't stood up to China, nor has he drained the Swamp)
The Self-Made Sham (but really, Fred Trump made his son rich the easy way: inheritance!)
Shameless Salesman (Salon)
Uncle Scam
Uncle Ream US (Michael R. Burch)
P. T. Barnum (Trump's sister Maryanne Trump Barry, a retired federal judge who has seen a lot of deception, said her brother is P. T. Barnum)

Dolt 45
Daft Twerp (Nicholas Soames, the grandson of Trump's hero, Winston Churchill)
SillyCon Boob (Michael R. Burch, after Ivana Trump said Trump isn't racist, he's just "silly" and "confused")
Polezni Durak (Russian for "Useful Idiot" after Trump ignored the testimony of 17 U.S. intelligence agencies to praise and defend Vladimir Putin.)
Putin's Useful Fool (ex-CIA director Michael Hayden)
Unwitting Russian Agent (ex-CIA director Michael Morrell)
Putin's Dupe (DailyKos)
Donny Moscow (Rob Hoadley)
The Russian Project ("Trump is as much a Russian project as an American president."—Charles M. Blow)
Treasonous Trump (Steve Bannon said the Trump Tower meeting with Russian agents was treasonous)

The Hypocritic Oaf
Absolute Pedantic Fool (Keith Olbermann)
Bloviating Ignoramus (George Will)
Donnie Dimwit (attributed to Trump's sister Maryanne Trump Barry)
The Know-Nothing (George W. Bush — Ouch! That must REALLY sting, considering the source!)
Mentally Unstable Simpleton (The New York Times)
Emperor-Sans-Clothes (Michael Wolff)
Sick Ignoramus (Rob Reiner)
Kook (Lindsey Graham)
Crazy (Jared Kushner, per The New York Times)
Crazy and "outside the realm of normal" (FBI Director James Comey)
Dumb as Dirt (Stephen King)
The Idiot (FBI agents assigned to the Russia investigation)
Idiot (Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin and former White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus)
Idiot Surrounded by Clowns (Michael Wolff)
Sleazy Con Man Gone Over to the Dark Side (Vanity Fair editor Tina Brown)
Superbug (Jay-Z)
The Anti-Obama and The Obama Eraser (Chris Cillizza, USA Today, commenting on Trump's State of the Disunion Address)

BEDROCK (Rex Tillerson admits that he is Blarney to his bumbling caveman boss, President Flintstone, because they share "bedrock values")
MR. MENSA (Trump challenged Tillerson to an IQ test, claiming there was no doubt who would win!)
IMBECILE (Steve Bannon called Trump's firing of James Comey the worst mistake in "modern political history")
Il Stupido (Pope Francis called climate change deniers like Trump "stupid," "stubborn" and "unseeing")
Foxymoron (Michael R. Burch)
Wackadoo (Michael Wolff quote)
Anger-Fueled Demagogue (Salon)
Monkey (Steve Bannon)

Roger Ailes, the chairman and CEO of Fox News, told Michael Wolff that "no one in the country, or on earth, has given less thought to health insurance than Donald."

BS Artist (Robert De Niro)
Epic Bullshit Artist (New Republic)
Mr. Big Wig (think of Bozo the Clown, but with much creepier hair)
Mr. In-Credible: "The least credible person who has ever walked on earth" (Michael Wolff)
Lucky Charms (Trump told farmers: "You are so lucky that I gave you the privilege of voting for me!")
Imperfect Vessel (to be filled with Steve Bannon's dreams of Leninist destruction)
The Grate Man (Steve Bannon)
The Deconstructionist (Steve Bannon)

If you look at [Trump's] Cabinet nominees, they were selected for a reason, and that is deconstruction.—Steve Bannon

Julius Seize Her (Michael R. Burch)
Syphilitic Emperor (Ross Douthat)
Boldfinger (because Trump groped women without their permission)
Sir Grope-a-lot
Sir Hunchalot
Twisted Mister
Dark Heart (Hollywood Reporter)
Creep Throat ("Donald Trump is his own Deep Throat. He's Creep Throat."―Seth Meyers)
THE BEAST (Ivanka Trump)

Ivanka Trump said there's a special place in hell for people who sexually prey on children, like Playboy Roy Moore and her father!

Amnesty Don (Steve Bannon/Breitbart)
The Turncoat (Sean Hannity accused Trump of failing to keep his election promises)
Cancer on Conservatism (Rick Perry)
The Rollover (Ann Coulter: "What's the only thing easier to roll than Donald J. Trump? An Easter egg!")

The False Profit (Michael R. Burch)

Why did Trump endorse Roy "Score" Moore when Nostradumbass claimed he "knew" the Sludge Judge couldn't win? Is it because "Predators of a feather / flock together?"—Michael R. Burch

Rock Bottom (Nancy Pelosi)
Rich White Trash (Donald Trump)
The Taint (Watergate journalist Carl Bernstein blasted Trump's slander of the FBI, saying what's "really been tainted … is the Trump presidency.")
Tsar Baby (pun on "tar baby" after Jim Himes accused Trump of tarring the reputation of the FBI, CIA and other US intelligence agencies)
tRump (USDA grade F-, as in: "What the hell can we do with this old, smelly slab of t-rump? Oh yeah, let's elect it president!")
Unfit to Clean Toilets (USA Today, after Trump slut-shamed Senator Kirsten Gillibrand.)

It is FAKE NEWS that Trump is unqualified to clean toilets! Russian hookers will gladly testify to the contrary! Believe me!

The Vulture Crapitalist
SHITHEAD ("This was actually a really easy one," explained White House Communications Deputy Director Sam Copeland)
The Shithard (combination of "shit" and "retard")
The Late Knight Commodian (after Trump joked that Mike Pence wants to hang all gays)
The Human Vanity Mirror
The Grater (Tump is making Russia and China great again, by making America grate again)
The Disgrace (Jennifer Detlefsen)

Jennifer Detlefsen, a Navy veteran and the daughter of Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke, said: "This man is a disgrace ... This veteran says sit down and shut the f--k up, you know-nothing, never-served piece of s--t!" 

Racist Clementine (Trevor Noah)
Ku Klux Clown
The Grate Divider (Michael R. Burch)
Xenophobic Ritz Cracker
Hater-in-Chief (Carmen Yulín Cruz, the major of San Juan)
The Wrathematician (Michael R. Burch, after Trump said that only 16 deaths were "certified," and thus Puerto Rico had not experienced a "real catastrophe" like Katrina!)
Archie Bunker (Steve Bannon)
The Racial President (Omarosa)

Omarosa saying Trump is "racial" but not a "racist" is like saying Hitler was "fanatical" but not a "fanatic."

Racist Grandpa (from Eminem's rap cypher "The Storm")
Donald the Bitch (Eminem)
The Kamikaze "that'll probably cause a nuclear holocaust" (Eminem)
Nutless "like an empty asylum" (Eminem)
Anathema (Eminem concludes: "We love our military, and we love our country / but we fucking HATE Trump!")
Super Callous Fragile Racist Extra Braggadocios (one of the cleverest Trump nicknames)
Super Callous Fragile Racist Sexist Nazi POTUS (ditto)

The Super Duper
Captain Tantastic
Captain Shamerica (Michael R. Burch)

Dinky Donny (Cher)

President Moonbeam (The New York Times says Trump "promises the moon" but now comes "the day of reckoning")
President If Urine You're In
President Pants-on-Fire (Watergate reporter Carl Bernstein said: "There's no reason to believe anything Donald Trump says." )
Pathological Liar (Ted Cruz)
Truthophobic Trump (Elizabeth Harris Burch, who tweeted that "Trump is so divorced from the Truth, he should pay it alimony!")
The Hot Air Buffoon (Michael R. Burch)
E Pluribus Loon 'em (out of many, one loon to rule 'em and make 'em even loonier)

Fat A$$ (Stephen Colbert)
Cra$$ A$$
Largemouth Ass (Samantha Bee)
Over-Inflated Anal Gasbag Full of Putrefying Diarrhea Fumes (Michael R. Burch)
Butternut Turd (Drew Magary)

Rigger Mortis (Michael R. Burch)
Donald de Rigueur (Michael R. Burch)
The Bid Rigger

The Great Gutsby
The Great Gasbag (Joy Behar)
The Great White Snark
The Blowhard (President George H. W. Bush)

The Thinskinned Skinflint

Saddam Le Pompadour (Michael R. Burch)
The Snazzy Nazi (Michael R. Burch)
Orange-Vanilla ISIS
Duke Nukem
Big Rocket Man
The Button Glutton
Psycho Finger on the Button (Michael Moore)

Button, button, who's got the button? Big Rocket Man brags that he has the biggest, baddest nuclear button! And he's clearly itching to use it!

Gossamer-Skinned Bully (Graydon Carter)
Bully Culprit (protest sign)
President Chirp (Sarah Huckabee Sanders)
Dire Abby (because Trump gives relationship advice like Dear Abby, but his message is invariably dire)
The Big Shtick ("Unlike Teddy Roosevelt, Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick!"―Michael R. Burch)
Shark Weak (Trump would watch Shark Week for hours, absolutely terrified, according to porn star Stormy Daniels)

The Miracle Worker (Trump has the amazing ability to turn red states blue: Virginia, Alabama ... is Texas next?)
Miracle Whipped (each Trump "miracle" seems to backfire and he is now the most hated, despised and ridiculed man on the planet)
The Lamé Duck President (after a friend of General John F. Kelly said that he wouldn't suffer "idiots and fools" in the White House)
Toast (Steve Bannon predicted "The Trump presidency that we fought for, and won, is over" and gave Trump a 30% chance of finishing his first term)

White House insiders have been calling the president Don Corleone and Dumb Corleone because of his mob boss mentality. His oldest son Donald Trump Jr. is Fredo (the dumb son who keeps shooting himself in the foot), while Ivanka is Michael (the smart one). There is no doubt that Ivanka is the Gaud Father's favorite, since he gave her a position in his administration along with her husband Little Lord Fauntleroy. But if Junior is Fredo, wouldn't that make Senior another Fredo? Better call Puffed Up Daddy and his eldest son Dumb and Dumber! But where does this name game leave Eric Trump, another Chip Off The Old Blockhead who may be the dumbest of them all? Is Eric too dumb to be promoted to Sonny? They seem to be a trio of Fredos, so call them the All Fredos or Alfredos for short! But let's not rush to judgment: Bill Maher has compared the Trump brothers to another ill-begotten duo: Uday and Qusay Hussein. That would make their father So Damn Insane, and it certainly seems to suit him.

The Top Ten Donald Trump Jr. nicknames ...

Junior and Donald Dunce Jr.
Son of Drumpf
The Good Boy (Donald Trump Sr.)
The Boy Blunder
Chip Off the Old Blockhead
Putin's Puppet / Puppy / Proxy / Protégé / Poodle / Lapdog
Fredo Corleone, Frito Corleone and Fraido (because like Fredo he's afraid of his father)
The Bedwetter and Diaper Don (because in college he would get drunk, pass out and wet the bed)

Please click here for all Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames

Eric Trump aka Draco Malfoy

The Top Ten Eric Trump Jr. nicknames ...

Eric the Red and Eric the Brain Dead
Eric of Orange (Erich L'Orange)
Eric Idle
Qusay (Trump insiders, per Michael Wolff)
Odo (short for Malodorous)
Date Rape (Kathy Griffin)
Draco Malfoy
Sonny Corleone and Sonny-Boy
Short Bus, Douchebag von Fuckface and Thurston Shitbag the Third (Bill Maher)
Chip Off the Old Blockhead II

Please click here for all Eric Trump Nicknames

Currently Rising: Quasi-Dodo the Hunchback of Notre Shame, after Trump curtsied submissively before the Saudi king in his first official act as an American president abroad. The Big Dipper dropped a pretty little curtsey (for a Shambling Sasquatch, that is) while receiving the Gilded Collar of King Salman Abdulaziz al-Saud. This, after Two-Faced Trump had blasted President Obama for a much more dignified and reserved half-bow several years before, tweeting at the time: "Do we want a President who bows to the Saudis?" A meek little curtsey, however prettily delivered, is far less presidential than a half-bow, so let's add Hippo-CRAZY, The Hissy-Fit Hypocrite and the Hypocritic Oaf to our ever-expanding list of Trump nicknames.

Also Rising: Prima Donald, Sparkly Princess Trumpelina, The Ginger Genuflector, Orange O'Hara, Little Miss Teapot and Idiot Abroad (Samantha Bee). Trump loyalist and campaign adviser Roger Stone was livid about the curtsey, tweeting: "Candidly, it makes me want to puke #JaredsIdea." But was it a submissive bow, an obsequious curtsey, or both? One tweeter was happy to explain: "To be fair, first Trump bowed, then he curtsied like a Sparkly Princess!" Another tweeter adopted Trump-Speak: "Trump has all the best curtsies, nobody curtsies like Trump, everybody says so!" In a similar vein, Trump's submissive gesture was described as "one of the best and bigliest curtsies."

Trump Sexual Assault Nicknames

The Serial Feeler — see Donald Trump's War on Women
President Weinstein
President Pussygrabber (Keith Olbermann)
President Grabass (SNL's Colin Jost)
The Fresh Prince of Times Square (Michael R. Burch)
The Great Gropesby (Michael R. Burch)
Donald DeGonad (Bob Corker accused Trump of publicly castrating Rex Tillerson!)
Hair Gropenfuhrer
Der Fuhrer Feltersnatch
Feel Marshall Trump (Michael R. Burch)
Julius Seize Her (Michael R. Burch)
Seize Her Disgustus (Michael R. Burch)
Mark Anatomy (Michael R. Burch)
The Roamin' Seizer (Michael R. Burch)
Edward Seizerhands (Michael R. Burch)
Hands of Feel (pun on "Hands of Steel")
Donald Trumpboner
Melania's Burden
Creep Throat ("Donald Trump is his own Deep Throat. He's Creep Throat."―Seth Meyers)
A$$aulter-in-Chief (Michael R. Burch)
Dr. Gropenstein
Donald Douchebag
The Twat Twit
The Impotentate
Jack the Grip Her
The Bushman
The Bushmaster
The Bush Baby
The Viagra Dough Boy
The Snatch Snatcher
The Snatch Snitch
The Alpha Molester
Chest Her Molester
The Louche Douche
Tic-Tac Attack
Ticky-Tacky Trump
Rikki Tikki Tacky
Groper Cleave Hand
Octopussy Groper (Jessica Leeds: "He was like an octopus … His hands were everywhere.")
The Sexual A$$aulter
The Frisky Frisker
Full Frontal Assault Trump
The Pussy Posse
The Rat Pack President
Long Dong Trump Inside Access

"Yay for us! We just robbed 23 million Americans of their healthcare and 53 million of protection from discrimination for preexisting conditions! We are the Winners, and who the hell cares about the losers?" (And why is Trump cheering a bill that he would later call "mean, mean, mean" in private?)

WASHINGTON, DC - MAY 04:  (L-R) U.S. President Donald Trump, Speaker of the House Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), House Majority Whip Rep. Steve Scalise (R-LA) and House Majority Leader Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) participate in a Rose Garden event May 4, 2017 at the White House in Washington, DC. The House has passed the American Health Care Act that will replace the Obama eraÕs Affordable Healthcare Act with a vote of 217-213.  (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

Mitch McConnell, the Hyperactive Death Hamster, keeps vigorously pedaling the TrumpCare wheel of doom. Mitch the Snitch wants to snatch healthcare away from millions of Americans as quickly as possible. "This is just the beginning!" he squeaked happily at the thought of so much suffering and death, "Look, we can't let this moment slip by!" Why? Because "with a surprise election comes great opportunities to do things we never thought were possible!"


This is a disappointment, a disappointment indeed! I regret that our efforts [to rob 30 million Americans of decent healthcare] were simply not enough this time!―Mitch McConHell

The Top Ten Mitch McConnell Nicknames

The Turtle (Jon Stewart) and The Napping Turtle (Michael R. Burch)
Fuckface McTurtlebitch
Mitch MuckSquirtle
Shirknado and Shirknerdough (Michael R. Burch)
The Hyperactive Death Hamster
The Lethal Chipmunk
Angry Cheek Pouches
Koch Addict (Michael R. Burch)
Mitch McConHell (Michael R. Burch)
Mitch the Snitch-Bitch

Please click here for all Mitch McConnell Nicknames

Have no fear, Acting President Jared Kushner is here! Cushy Kushner makes all the major decisions while Truant Trump tweets, poses for photo-ops, gropes women's genitals, sentences babies and grannies to death, cheats at golf, then brags about his "accomplishments" and campaigns for reelection.

We can all breathe a sigh of relief because Jarring Jarhead Kushner is at the ISIS front, using his real-estate negotiation skills to counsel our enemies and console our troops! Trump's Aide de Kampf will never rest until WWIII is well underway, and irreversible.

The Top Ten Jared Kushner Nicknames

Vanilla ISIS
Ralph Lauren of Arabia (@ChannelTrump)
Cushy Kushner and Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin on SNL)
Aide de Kampf (Michael R. Burch)
Putin's Puppet and Putin's Protégé
The Easebroker
Complete Fucking Idiot (Samantha Bee)
Little Lord Fauntleroy (Duratti on Daily Kos)
Channel 666 (Jared Kushner and his wife Ivanka Trump own the most expensive single building purchased in the U.S. at 666 Fifth Avenue, purchased for $1.8 billion or 6+6+6 billion)

Please click here for all Jared Kushner Nicknames

The Top Ten Ivanka Trump Nicknames

Ivanka Tramp
Proxy Wife
Trophy Daughter and The First Lady-Daughter
Ivanka Wanker (I Wanna Wank Her)
Ivanka Spanker (I Wanna Spank Her)
Nordic Goddess and The Norwegian Wood Inducer
Kushner's Crush and Kushner's Cush Toy
The Favorite and The Hot One
The Smart One and Michael (after Michael Corleone, "the smart one" in the Godfather movies)
I Candy

Please click here for all Ivanka Trump Nicknames

The Top Ten Melania Trump nicknames

The Slovenian Sphinx (Maureen Dowd)
First Babe
Third Lady (after Ivana Trump and Marla Maples)
Melania Antoinette
The Ice Queen (Gloria Erin Ryan)
The Superglamorous Stepford Wife (André Leon Talley)
The Man-Baby Sitter and The Trump Sitter
The Trump Swatter (after slapping her husband's hand away)
The Apprentice Bride and Bride of Trumpenstein

Please click here for all Melania Trump Nicknames

Trump Divorce Nicknames

Reality Check Mate
Reality Czech Mate
You're Fired!

Trump Administration, Cabinet, Supporter, Follower and Lapdog Nicknames

Monster's Ball (David Axelrod)
Moscow on the Hudson (Michael R. Burch)
ICE Capades (Michael R. Burch)

The Romper Room (after Trump attorney Ty Cobb said he and General Kelly are "the only adults in the room" at the White House)
As Vile as Monkeys Hurling Excrement (Steve Schmidt)
The Ogle Office
The Adult Day Care Center (Bob Corker)
Grassroots Hobbits (Steve Bannon)
The Island of Misfit Toys (Steve Bannon, describing the Trump campaign)
The Broke-Dick Campaign (Steve Bannon)
Sinking Ship of State (Steve Bannon)
President Beavis and the Buttheads
The Bazaar (Bob Corker)
The Bizarre Bazaar (Michael R. Burch)
The Grifters (Valerie Plame)
Trolls Galore (Hillary Clinton)
Amoral Flying Monkeys (Keith Olbermann)
Steve Bannon’s Alt-Right Swamp (Vogue)
Tweety and the Twits
Tweety and the Twittermaniacs
The Kremlin Gremlins
The Far Slide
The Lords of Misrule
Crazy Train (Ozzy Osbourne)
The Alt-Right Hate Machine (Al Green)
Hapless Incompetents (Ryan Cooper)
Reign of Error
The Trump Freak Show (Vogue)
The Hinternationalists (Michael R. Burch)
The Highglanders (Michael R. Burch)
Rank Amateurs ("rank" as in "reeking")
Amateur Hour at the White House
Celebrity Presidential Apprentice
Den of the Re-Flub-Lycans (Michael R. Burch)
Hair Hitler and the Whigs (Michael R. Burch)
Blingtime for Hitler (Michael R. Burch)
Trump-Pence None the Retcher (Michael R. Burch)
The White Supremacist House (Michael R. Burch)
The Hicks from the Sticks
The Hicks from the Styx
The West Wing Sexual Assault Emporium (Michael R. Burch)
The Ovary Assault Office
The Ovary Inspection Office (Michael R. Burch)
The Cucksmen (Michael R. Burch)
Crack Team of Crackpots (Michael R. Burch)
Con-Fed Dense Men (Michael R. Burch)
AmeriKlan Idols
Kakistocracy (Ryan Lizza) ...

The Greeks have a word for the emerging Trump Administration: kakistocracy. The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as a “government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.” Webster’s is simpler: “government by the worst people.”—Ryan Lizza in a New Yorker article

Please click here for all Trump cabinet, administration, supporter, follower and lapdog: Donald Trump Cabinet Nicknames

Trump Impeachment Nicknames

Fall of the House of Lusher
Fall of the House of the Gold Toilet Flusher
Gone with the Hot Air
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Damien Trump
and his Stepford Wives meet Pope Francis, who is obviously uncomfortable in the presence of such Darkness and angles his cross slightly to keep them at bay!

Trump Family Nicknames

The Stepfordians
Scamalot (pun on Camelot and the Kennedy family)
The KKKardashians
The Brooklyn Hillbullies (Michael R. Burch)
Donald Duck Dynasty
The Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse (Michael R. Burch)
The Cold Ones
Children of the Corn
Beavis and the Buttheads
Bereave US and the Buttheads
Donald and the Douchebags
Hitler's Revenge on the United States

Poor Little Bitch Kids
The Bitches of Eastwick

Marco Roboto
hugs the First-Lady-Daughter, Ivanka Trump ... talk about uncomfortable!

Immature Trump Nicknames

Man-Baby (Jon Stewart)
Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper
(Michael R. Burch)
Baby-in-Chief (Robert De Niro)
Tsar Baby (pun on "tar baby" after Jim Himes accused Trump of tarring the reputation of the FBI, CIA and other US intelligence agencies)
L'Enfant Terrible (the French certainly know how to describe Trump!)
Sweet Little Baby Trump (Alec Baldwin)
Pouty Baby Trump (Alec Baldwin on SNL)
Dinky Donny (Cher)
Little Trump (Newt Gingrich: "The little Trump is frankly pathetic.")
The Alpha Male Crybaby (George F. Will)
Big Baby (Lewis Black)
Boss Baby Trump
Birther Boy
The Boy Blunder
The Boychurian Candidate (Michael R. Burch, a pun on Manchurian Candidate)
Bratworst (pun on "bratwurst")
The Pre-Teen President (Steve Bannon, the ultimate Trump insider, told Vanity Fair that he's like an 11-year-old child!)
The Combover Kid
Donald the Menace
Dyslexic Donlad
Felonious Punk
Dauphin of Breitbartistan (Samantha Bee)
Malice in Blunderland (Michael R. Burch)
Poster Boy for Narcissism (Dr. César Chelala)
Kid Loudmouth (MAD Magazine)
The Tottering Tot
The Shillsbury Doughboy
Toddler Psychopath (John Oliver)
Rascalnikov (a pun on the name of the downward-spiraling criminal in Crime and Punishment)
Donnie John (Tina Fey)
Donnie Two Scoops
The Rookie (Mitch McConnell)
The Rook (Nancy Pelosi)
The Greenhorn (ditto)
Truant Trump (Bob Corker tweeted #AlertTheDaycareStaff)
Liddle Donnie Diaperrash
Little Donnie Daisyfingers (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Diaperpants (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Dingleberry (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Diva (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Discord
Little Donnie Dunciad
Man-Toddler Trump
President Manchild McSpoiledBrat
Shark Dressed Man-Boy (Michael R. Burch)
Sir Pissypanties (Michael R. Burch)
Sir Sissypants (Michael R. Burch)
The Terrible Tyke
Terroristic Man-Toddler (Charles M. Blow)
The Tellytubby President (Trump watches up to 4 hours of TV per day, and is very tubby!)
Tinky Winky Trump
Tiddly Tubby Trump
Ego Buoy (Michael R. Burch)
El Kid (pun on El Cid)
The Golden Man-Child
The Kindergarten Fop (Michael R. Burch)
The Imperious Adolescent (Doug Elmets)
An Inconvenient Youth (Michael R. Burch)
The Infantalist (David Brooks)
Child (Katie Walsh)
Bubble Boy
The Boinkin' Boy-King

Small Hands Trump Nicknames

Short-Fingered Vulgarian (Graydon Carter)
Twinkle Fingers Trump
Babyfingers Trump
Le Petit Prince Daisyfingers (Michael R. Burch)
Liddle Donnie Ladydiddler (Michael R. Burch)
Little Donnie Diddlefingers (Michael R. Burch)
The Tiny-Handed Tyrant
Chubby Nubby
Tiny Hands Trump
Dainty Digits Trump
Pixie Digits Trump
Donnie McTinyHands

Trump Boy Scout Nicknames

The Boy Scouter
The Boy Shouter
The Boy Spouter (after Trump spouted off to the Boy Scouts)
The Boy Pouter
The Boy Lout
The Boy Flouter
The Boy Spout
The Den Master

Senile Trump Nicknames

Old Fart
Don Rectum
The Walking Talking Basket Case
Mentally Deranged Dotard (Kim Jong Un)
Lunatic Old Man (Korean Central News Agency)
The Doddering Demagogue
The Slurmaster
Old Slurpee

Flabby Trump Nicknames

Fat Blabby (Lewis Black)
Big Baby (Lewis Black)
The Great Gutsby (Michael R. Burch)
Porky Pig and The New York Pork Dork (because Trump and his companies have taken so much "pork" from federal, state and local governments)
Humpty Trumpty
Trumpty Dumpty
King Gorge
The Madness of King Gorge (Michael R. Burch)
Big Donald (coined by Marco Rubio) and Pig Donald (a variation coined by feminists)
Trumpa Loompa
Oompa Loompa Trump
Trump Heffalump
The Walrus

Trump Warmonger and Apocalypse Nicknames

Day of the Orange Jackal
Duke Nuke 'Em
Dr. Strangelove
Gleeful Provocateur (David Von Drehle)
The Neo-Con Puppet (coined by the Alt-Right)
The Neo-Con-Man
Donny Warmonger
The War Troll
Deep State Donald
The False Flag Flyer
Deep Hoax
Carnage Incarnate
The Rabble Rouser
Othello the Less
The American Terrorist (George Takei)
The Firestarter
The Pyromaniac
The Pyro President
The Flaming Hun
Republican Rapture Inducer
mADD Max
The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse (Michael R. Burch)
God Emperor Trump
God-Whimperer Trump (Michael R. Burch)
Terminator Trump
The Beast
Little Horn (the prophets of the Bible)
The Trump of Doom (the prophets of the Bible)
Darkness Incarnate
Damien Trump (after the Antichrist figure in the Omen movies)
Doomsday Donnie
The Great Whore of Babble-On
— see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?

Trump Hairdo (and Hair-don't) Nicknames

Old Baldy
Hell Toupée
Dead Wombat Toupée
Uncle Fester's Emu Fluff Toupée
Plugged Wig Cadaver
The Combover Kid
Mr. Wiggy Piggy
Hair Hitler (pun on Herr Hitler)
Hair Furor (pun on Herr Fuhrer)
Mein Hair (pun on Mein Herr)
Hairman Mao
The Orange-Tufted Taliban
The Mad Hatter and The Mad Hater
The Golden I-Con ("I con 'do it! "I con 'do it! I know I con!")
Human-Toupée Hybrid
Toupée Fiasco
Squirrelwig McRacistPants
Con Hair (pun on the movie "Con Air")
Hair Force One
Hamster Hairpiece

Trump Fowl & Foul Nicknames

Chicken Donald (Martin O'Malley)
Chicken Don
Chicken Little
Chicken Spittle
Chicken Sh*ttle
Chicken Whittle (for instance, he will gladly whittle away healthcare from babies, grannies and vets)
The Cuck of the Walk (Michael R. Burch)
Donald Cluck
Donald Clusterf*ck
Donald Chickenheart
Booster Hogburn
The Orange-Tufted Ostrich (the only creature known to spout death-inviting nonsense then bury its head up its ass to avoid reality)
Fluffy, the Golden Emu

Trump Gold and Money Nicknames

The Gold Flake (Michael R. Burch)
The Gold Bug
The Gold Digger
The Gold Rigger
The Con Dike Gold Rush
Darth Goldplater
Golden Wrecking Ball (Sarah Palin, who was not trying to be funny, but ended up being all too accurate ... so sad!)
Gold Faithful (Trump worships gold and erupts with anger on a regular basis)
Fool's Gold
Mr. Golden Shower
The Gold Star Insulter (after Trump insulted a Gold Star family who lost a son who was defending his country)
Mr. Moneybags
Mammon's Lam-Man
The Keeper of the Golden Commode

Trump Swamp Nicknames

Swampy (Trish Regan of Fox Business: "... our Founding Fathers never, ever anticipated a swamp like the one we have today!")
The Swamp Stocker
Creature from the Orange Lagoon
The Orange-Tufted Swamp Ogre
The Gold Man Sucks President (after Trump "drained the swamp" only to stock it with his crocodilian Goldman Sachs donors)
Big Agenda Trump (David Horowitz)
The Vulture Crapitalist

Trump Leak Nicknames

The Perpetual Fountain of Lies (Charles M. Blow)
Old Unfaithful ("When Trump's lips are moving, lies are spouting regular as clockwork."―Michael R. Burch)
The Blowhard
The Spigot

Trump Golf Nicknames

The Caddy Hack
The Caddy Hacker
The Fast & The Furious Vacationer (the Trumpster interrupted his 17-day golf vacation to start WWIII, then quickly resumed hacking)
Mr. Mulligan
Dorf (a Tim Conway character in the skit "Dorf on Golf")

Trump Monarchist/Royalist Nicknames

The Scum Lord
King Drumpf (Fred Trump said he raised his son to be a "king")
King Leer
King Rat
The Lyin' King (it's amusing to hear Trump complaining about "fake news" when he's the greatest offender, by far)
King Trump the Grate
King Con (pun on King Kong)
Ol' King Coal
King Tut (because Trump makes people who prize decency go "Tut, tut, tut!")
Conigula (Michael R. Burch, emphasis on "con")
Prince Uncharming
Prince Alarming
Prince of Humbug (P. T. Barnum)
The Son King (it was Trump's father who made him rich; pun on "Sun King")
The Shun King
The Stun King
The American Dauphin (Michael R. Burch)
The Lord of the Blings
Bling Midas

Donald Trump is the Reverse Midas because everything he touches immediately turns to s**t ... Trump Casinos, Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump Mortgage, the Trump Shuttle, Trump the Game, affordable healthcare, women's rights, minority rights, our right to vote without interference from Russia, the environment, our children's educations, Syria, North Korea ...

Here are two Trump nicknames that may warrant an explanation: Donald Droit du Seigneur and Droit du Donald. In medieval times, droit du seigneur was the "right of a lord" to have sex with a subordinate female. The lord didn't need to obtain the female's consent, nor could her husband or family defend her honor. Now we have learned from his own mouth that King Drumpf fancies that this ancient privilege is his, because he's a "star."

Trump Dictator and Fascist Nicknames

The New Furor
Trumpen Furor
Mein Furor
Mein Trumpf
Adolph Twitler
Adolph Trumpler
The Apprentice Führer (Ben Judah)
Casino Mussolini (Samantha Bee)
Hair Mousse-olini
Mussolini's Taint
Benito Trumpolini
Inglorious Leader
Dear Leader
Der Leader
Fearful Leader
Fear Fool Leader
Baron Trump
The Tin-Pot Despot (Nicholas Kristof)
Tsar Trumpov
Tsar Ridickulous (by Michael R. Burch, a pun on Tsar Nicholas)
Tsarzan (by Michael R. Burch)
Genghis Con (Michael R. Burch)
Genghis Can't and Genghis Cant (Michael R. Burch)
El Presidente
Il Douche and Ill Douche
Il Doofus
Poll Potbelly Pig (pun on Pol Pot)
The Mandarin Candidate
Idiot Amin
The American Saddam / Assad / Duterte / Erdogan / Pinochet / Poppa Doc / Jong-un / Mussolini / Hitler / Lenin / Stalin / Mao

Kremlingate/Comeygate/Russiagate/Putingate/Votergate Nicknames

Comrade Trumputin
The Brooklyn Bolshevik
The Russian Mole
Agent 747 (i.e., Jumbo)
The Siberian Candidate
Putin's Puppet
Putin's Poppet
Putin's Putty
Putin's Proxy
Putin's Bitch
Putin's Rasputin
Putin's Useful Idiot
Putin's C*ck-Holster (Stephen Colbert)
Lavrov's Dog (pun on Pavlov's Dog)
Lavrov's Lapdog
Putin's Pampered Poodle
Lenin's Gremlin
Stalin's Paladin
The Stallin' Stalin
The Rootin' Tootin' Lootin' Putin Sidekick
Donny Moscow
Deep Bloat
Deep Moat
Deep Creep
The Loose-Lipped Ship Sinker

Colorful Trump Nicknames

Mango Mussolini
Mango Mugabe
Marmalade Mugabe
Shady Marmalade and Fraidy Marmalade (puns on the Patti LaBelle song)
Cinnamon Hitler
Persimmon Hitler
Ginger Hitler
Gingervitis (Michael R. Burch)
Sunkist Stalin
Tangerine Palpatine
Tangerine Voldemort
Tangerine Tornado (SNL's Church Lady, played by Dana Carvey)
Angry Pumpkin
Angry Creamsicle
The Fanta Menace
The Fanta Ranter
Orange Julius and Orange Foolius

More Colorful Trump: PEEOTUS, Marmalade Mussolini, Habañero Hitler, Habanero Hussein, Sunburned Stalin, Fanta Fascist, Candied Yam, El Hombre de Tang, Orange Anusmouth, Mandarin Orange Mugabe, Melba Mao, The Orange Peel, Tangerine Nutsack, Animated Pumpkin, President Tang, Kim Jong Orange, Pantone Beelzebub, Minute Maid Mao, Papaya Batista, Sweet Potato Saddam, Tropicana Mussolini, Nectarine Noriega, Orange Ortega, Mangled Apricot Hellbeast, Lemonhead, Peach Nehi President, Trump Brulée, Pumpkin Spice Satan, Tang Tyrant, Candy Corn Kremlin, The Nacho Nazi, The Yellow Death, Yellow Fever, Orange-Tufted Twitter Flitterer, The Orange Oligarch, The Gollygarch, Grossly Protuberant Peach Topped with Yucky Orange Lint-Fuzz, The Orange-Tufted War Troll, Butternut Soufflé of Seeping Death, The Persimmon Satyr, The Orange Menace, Mango Mophead, Cantaloupe Caligula, Orange Sauron, Der Pumpkinfurher, Pumpkin Pinochet, Apricot Poll Pot, Carrot Khomeini, Cheddar Ceausescu, Dorito Duterte, Gouda Gaddafi, Ham Hussein, Yam Saddam, Talking Yam, Stalking Yam, Peach Perón, Velveeta Vladimir, Salmon Voldemort, Code Orange, The Orange DREAM Sickle (Michael R. Burch), The Orange Ogre, Orange Offal, Partially Sentient Spray Tan, Orange Vogon The Orange Hobgoblin,

Cheesy Trump Nicknames

Cheez Whiz Ceaușescu
Cheez Doodle (Maureen Dowd)
Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator
Cheeto Benito and Cheat-o Benito
Benito Cheetolini
Cheeto-in-Chief and Cheato-in-Chief
Screaming Cheeto
Angry Cheeto
The Big Cheeto
The Cheeto Bandito
Cheeto Voldemort
Cheeto von Tweeto
Cheeto-Faced Shit-Gibbon
Cheeto Jesus
Cheeto Satan
Desperate Cheeto (Randy Rainbow)
Frito Corleone
Frito Lay

Space Cadet Trump Nicknames

Space CADet Trump
The Wrath of Con
Doom Emperor Trump
Darth Insidious
Darth Hideous
Darth Hater
Darth Goldplater
The Fanta Menace
The Rude Crude Orange-Hued Space Dude

Trump Movie Star Nicknames

Forrest Trump
Donnie Darko
Donnie Dorko

Trump Superhero Nicknames

The Loan Deranger
Super Duper
Super Man-Boy
The Incredible Bulk
Captain Tantastic
Captain Underpants
Captain Blunderpants
Captain Thunderpants
Captain Diaperpants
Captain James T. Smirk
Captain Outrageous (pun on Captain Courageous)
Captain Chaos
Captain Shamerica
Captain Un-America
Captain AmeriKKKa
Boldfinger (Michael R. Burch)
Optimus Grime (Michael R. Burch)
The Toxic Avenger
Sir Leakalot (Michael R. Burch)
The Wear Wolf

Trump Tweet Nicknames

Tweety Blurred
Boss Tweet
Tweet Twit
The Petulant Twitter Chirper
The Obsessive Compulsive Twitterholic

Trump Ego, Lies and Cons Nicknames

King of the Whoppers
King Con
The Abominable Showman
P. T. Burn 'Em
Pander Bear and Pander Hair (Elizabeth Harris Burch)
The Human Vanity Mirror (Michael R. Burch)
The Abominable Dough-Man
Don the Con (Marc Bauer)
Utterly Amoral Narcissist (Ted Cruz said: "Morality does not exist for him.")
Delusional Narcissist (Rand Paul)
The Lyin' King (pun on "Lion King")
The Super Duper
The King of Fake News
Failed QVC Steak Salesman (Samantha Bee)
Two-Bit Used Hate Salesman (Samantha Bee)
The Feckless Denizen of the White House (Greg Dworkin)
The Spin-Meister
Deceitful Donald
President Pants-on-Fire
The Bullshit Artist and The Bullshitter (Fareed Zakaria)

Trump Hypocrisy Nicknames

The HIPPO-crit (Trump criticizes everyone else at the drop of a hat―for instance, overweight women―but the YUGE tub of lard never looks in the mirror)
The Hypocritic Oaf (Michael R. Burch)

Mob Boss Trump Nicknames

The Gaud Father
The Goad Farther
Al Cappuccino
Snarlin' Brando
Dumb Corleone
Frito Corleone
Vincent von Gouge
The Unwise Guy
Donnie Little Hands

Tyrant Trump Nicknames

The Tin-Pot Despot (Nicholas Kristof)
The Cesspot Despot (Michael R. Burch)
Conigula (Michael R. Burch)
Dubious Caesar
Julius Seize Her (Michael R. Burch)
Bling the Merciless (Michael R. Burch)
Alexpander the Great (Michael R. Burch)
Napoleon Blownapart (Michael R. Burch)
King Bling
King Dong
King Trump the Grate
The Great Gutsby
Hairman Mao
Emperor Hero-Cheat-O
Tsarzan ("Obamacare bad! Very bad! Tsarzan kill Obamacare, maybe kill Jane and Boy. But Obamacare bad!")

Trump Fashion Nicknames

Emperor Sans Clothes
Tie-Rant Trump
The Tie-Coon
The Wear Wolf of Wall Bleat (Michael R. Burch)

Trump Inferno and Climate Nicknames

The Glowering Inferno
Trumpster Fire
Dumbster Fire (Michael R. Burch)
Bonfire of the Insanities (Michael R. Burch)
Ole King Coal (after Trump threatened to pull out of the Paris Accord on Climate Change)
Towering Inferno Trump (his motto is "Burn, baby, burn!")
The Climate Primate

Trump Baseball Nicknames

Babe Ruthless
Babe Truthless
Sham the Man Unusual

Trump Clown Nicknames

Fuckface von Clownstick (Jon Stewart)
The Clown Prince
The Crown Prince of Politwits
Orange Skelton
Orange Skeltor
Ronald McDonald Trump Bozo (Michael R. Burch)
Big Top Trump
Fascist Carnival Barker (Martin O'Malley)
Scrooge Grinch McGrump
Scrooge McTrump
The Joker-Groper
Bizarro Bozo
The Crime Mime
The Oompa Loompa of Doom (Chris Riddell)
The Greatest Showboat on Earth (Michael R. Burch)
The Class(less) Clown
The Killer Klown

Racist Trump Nicknames

The Ritz Cracker
Harvey Wallbanger
AmeriKKKLan Idol
President Snowflake (emphasis on "flake")
The Alt-Right Blight Inciter
The DuKKKe of Churl
The Kloset Klansman
The White KKKnight

Trump Mania Nicknames

The Shambolic Shaman
The Whack-Job POTUS (John Podesta)
Untethered Maniac (Michelle Goldberg)

Trump Comedy Nicknames

God's Gift to Comedy (Jerry Seinfeld)
Job Security (Jimmy Kimmel)
Cultural Punch Line (Tom Scharpling)
Don Quixote and Don Quixotic
Dudley Do-Wrong

Trump Animal Nicknames

Creature from the Orange Lagoon
Weasel (FBI Director James Comey)
Orange-Tufted Shitweasel
Orange-Tufted Stink Ferret
Orange-Tufted Shitgibbon
Yungoos (a Pokémon weasel with a blond 'do)
Gumshoos (the evolved form of Yungoos)

Trump Monster Nicknames

Just in time for Halloween, what could be scarier than a man with nicknames like Trumpenstein, Trumpula, Trumpzilla, The Great Trumpkin, Damien Trump, Count Hackula, Count Dreckula, Count Crockula, Pumpkin Hitler, Trump Troll, Uncle Grope-Fester (Josh Marshall), Human Molotov Cocktail (Michael Moore), Human Hand Grenade (Michael Moore), Grotesquely Decomposing Pumpkin Pulp, The Dangler (Dan Rather), The Posh Wear Wolf, The Grim Groper, The Grimy Reaper, The Mountebank (J. Robert Smith), The Orange Blob, Lurch, Spittle-Mouthed Snarler (Gina Barreca), Orange Amoeba (Ana Navarro), Sith Lord Trump, Super Predator (Van Jones), The Beast, Trumpasaurus Rex, Tyrantosaurus Wrecks (Michael R. Burch), TyrannaSoreAss Rex, Prontoboorus

Donald Trump Halloween Ideas

Incompetent Trump Nicknames

The Feeb (George F. Will: "a feeble president")
Trainwreck (Bob Corker said the White House staff called him multiple times when Trump was "really off the tracks")
Pathetic (John Kasich)
Deeply Disturbing (John McCain)
Zombie Trump (Green Day)
Complete Disaster (John Boehner)
The Degrader (Jeff Flake said Trump is "degrading" the presidency)
The Debaser (Bob Corker accused Trump of "debasing" the nation)
The Neanderthal (Bob Corker said Trump is "devolving" before our eyes)
Ignoramus (Paul Krugman, a Nobel prize-winning economist)
Unfit (Douglas Brinkley)
Hot Mess (Matt Drudge)
Jackass (Lindsey Graham)
Cosmic Laughingstock (Michael R. Burch)
Unstable (Bob Corker)
Incompetent (Bob Corker)
Repugnant (David Letterman)
Revolting Slug (Jerry Buckingham, an Australian MP)
Crackpot (Bernie Shine)
Primo Tool (Stephen Colbert)
Big Bother (a pun on Big Brother)
Libel Bully (American Bar Association)
The Big Lummox (Garrison Keillor)
Controversy-Addicted Wingnut Trump (John Earls)
Unhinged Self-Adoring Demagogue (New York Daily News)
A piece of SHIT and an embarrassment to humankind (Reza Aslan)
Master of Disaster (CNN)
Trump the Usurper (J. Robert Smith)
The Unraveler (Gabriel Sherman)
The Bigotry Emboldener (George W. Bush)
The Peter Principle Incarnate
The Bigliest Loser
The Pardonizer
The Ham-Handed Amateur (James Thurber)
The Hysteric (Vladimir Putin rebuked the Trump administration's "hysteria")
The Loss Leader
Hurricane Donald (the perfect storm of arrogance, ignorance and intolerance)
U Bum (LeBron James)
Mr. Brexit-Plus (Donald Trump)
Soulless Coward and Pathological Liar (Gregg Popovich)
The Supercilious Septuagenarian (pun on "super silly US" for anyone voting for him)
Simple-Minded War Maniac (Ri Yong Hui, a North Korean, is well-acquainted with war-obsessed madmen)
Foolish Maniac with No Common Sense to be Beaten with a Stick (Ri Won Gil)
Garbage Snout (Rodong Sinmun)
Abyss of Doom (Korean Central News Agency)
Golf Links Gangster (Kim Jong Un)
Giant Gold Goliath (Robert Mugabe)
Tax-and-Spend Trump
Whiny-Ass Bitch (Bill Maher)
POTUS ↔ Toilet POT U.S.
Hocus Pocus POTUS (Michael R. Burch)
Smarm Bro (will Smarm Bro pardon Pharma Bro?)
The Principal (so called in the White House for all the knuckle-rappings he delivers)
The Pariah (Kevin Durant said "We don't f*ck with him.")
The Trade Warrior
The Tirade Warrior
The Cruelest and Pettiest President Ever (George Takei)
The Colossal Scandal (David Remnick)
The La-Z-Boy Decliner (our low-energy septuagenarian declines to work as the world implodes around him)
The Backstabber (now Sessions, Spicer, et al, know what Trump really means when he says "I have your back!")
Pale Derider
The EmbarrA$$ment (after polls in three states revealed that the majority of voters are embarrassed by Trump)
American Grandstand (the pot called the kettle black when Trump accused CEOs of "grandstanding")
President Perk
The Fringe Benefiter (Michael R. Burch)
The Recusant
The Term Limiter (Trump seems intent on forcing impeachment sooner rather than later)
The Flip Flopper
Loser (Dan Rather)

Ass-orted Trump Nicknames

Hell Toupee

Baron von Muchpoutin'
Baron von Muchfloutin'
Baron von Muchengropen
Lord of the Lies
The Queens Quisling

President Tons of Fun (Michael Che, SNL)
Melting Hunk of Uninformed Apricot Jello (Samantha Bee)
Crotch-Fondling Slab of Rancid Meatloaf (Samantha Bee)
Sixteen-Month Hindenburg Explosion (Samantha Bee)
Tub of Fermented Pig Lard
The Great Orange Man-Booby
Moby Prick (the Grate White Human Whale with a hyperactive blowhole)
The Incredible Bulk (after Trump warned us that he would be "very angry" if TrumpedUpCare is not allowed to kill multitudes of Americans!)

The Alt-Right Uniter (Nazis are "fine people." Really? If it's wrong to oppose Nazis, why did we fight WWII?)
The Alt-White Delighter
The Albino RINO (Michael R. Burch)
Orange Supremacist (Samantha Bee)
Race-Baiting Xenophobic Religious Bigot (Lindsey Graham)
Sir Bestalot, the Shining Knight of White Supremacy (former KKK Grand Wizard David Duke called Trump "the best of the lot")
MAN WITH A KLAN (The New Yorker, in an article about Trump's ties to white supremacists including David Duke)
The Grand Lizard
The Daily Stormer
The Sturm und Drang Haranguer (Michael R. Burch)

Con-doofus (Con-doofus say: "In addition to big, beautiful glass ceilings for women, we need big, beautiful glass walls for Hispanics!")
Evil Con-Evil
The Utterly Untruthful President (Bob Corker)
Con Artist (Marco Rubio)
Faker Trump (Ruth Bader Ginsberg)
The Flimflam Man
The Illusionist (the Drudge Report called it an "illusion" that Trump is a conservative)
The Ameri-Con President (as in: "Can the Con!")
The Serial Shiller
The Huckster
Delusional Donald
Anti-Truth Trump


The Supreme Sexist (Barbara Res, a former Trump employee)
Thrice-Married Foul-Mouthed Tit Judge (Samantha Bee)
Wall Choke Artist (Hillary Clinton)
Deranged Animal (Alyssa Mastromonaco, after Trump lied about other presidents not calling bereaved military families)
El Charlatán (Papo Christian, a Puerto Rico community organizer)
Half-Baked Banana Pudding
The Crooklyn Cuck
El Cid Vicious
The Grim Weeper
The Fearful Earful
The Prim Reaper
Sir Prancealot
Sir Farcical
The Creepy Crawler (Hillary Clinton said Trump made her skin crawl during their debates)
Atomic Blonde
The Con-Flag-Grate-Shun-Ist (pun on "conflagration")
Mr. Art of the Squeal
Soylent Orange (fortunately so far only Russian prostitutes have partaken!)
The Goldenshower Pee-Cock
павли́н (the Russian term for "peafowl" or in Trump's case "pee foul")
The Hair Apparent of the Whig Party (Michael R. Burch)
The Self-Pardoner (Trump claims he has "complete power" to pardon himself and his cronies)
The Hair-Braned President (i.e., Trump's brain is apparently composed of the fuzzy layers of his 'do)
The Tweetstormer
The Filly Buster (Trump wants to eliminate the filibuster so that he can deny rights and healthcare to women, girls and babies)
The Lowest Common Dominator
The Holey Trinity (Trump appears to be a new unholy Trinity of "me, myself and I.")
The Human Abortion (Mike Fernandez, a billionaire GOP mega-donor)
Deaf Con One (Trump is deaf to his own stupidity and his cons are bringing us closer and closer to war: Defcon One)
Mr. Rushmore (Trump claims that he is second only to Lincoln and ready for enshrinement on Mt. Rushmore, after six months!)
The Fecal Point (Trump is the focal point only because he keeps exposing his enormous ass in public)
Mr. Transparency (after Trump said his wall must be transparent to allow views of flying bags of drugs!)

Trump acronyms: POTUS (Putin-Puppet of the United States), SCROTUS (So-Called Ruler of the United States, by Elayne Boosler), BLOTUS (Biggest Loser of the United States), DONALD (Dangerously Outrageous Nincompoop and Lady Diddler), TRUMP (The Real Undercover Manchurian President), S.O.S. (Son of Satan), D.U.M.B. (Deplorable Useless Man-Baby) and D.U.D. (DANGEROUSLY UNHINGED DONALD)

More Trump: The Wilting Wallflower, The Snapper (Garrison Keillor), The Tapp Dancer, Tap-Drunk Trump, Donald Dork, The Smug Mug Thug, Tweet-aholic Trump, Twitter Troll Trump (Marlow Stern),  Tempest in a Tea Party Pot, Trumpochka, A$$hole, The Conswervative, The Cover-Up Artist, The Brazen Moron, the Con-Troll-er, Marvell's Ultimate Villain, Unkempt Troll Doll (Anna Merlan), Arrogant Asshole (Cher), Walking Cliché (Ian Flitoff), Gasbag (Tom Hanks), Walking Birth Control Ad (SNL), Putin's American Distributor (Keith Olbermann), Boss Hogg Trump, THE POST-WEST PRESIDENT (Sergey Lavrov), The Organ Grinder, Resident Rump, The Democracy Trumper, The Trumpster, Donald the Insufferable, Yalta II: the End of NATO (General Wesley Clark), Putin's BBF, Putin's Gambit, Tweet Bait (Hillary Rodham Clinton), Twitter Twit, Unstable Cable Mogul, Low-Bar Limbo King, Human Vermin, The Trumpinator, The Manipulator, The Strike-Out King, Under-Endowed Dick Tater, Double Downer, The Predictable Endpoint of Rabid Republicanism, King of Chaos, The Gay Grifter, Crony Capitalist (Sarah Palin), The Tweet Twit, The Conspiracy Errorist, Capricious Authoritarian Monarch (Dan Rather), KKK-Mart Caesar, The Rust Belt's Revenge (David Von Drehle), The Mad Hombre, Deplorable Donald, The Wizard of Ahs, Jaundiced Pinocchio

Donald Trump super-villain and superhero: Fatman, Duperman, Deadfool, Loki, The Lone Deranger, Herr Fantastic, Doktor Strange, Doktor Doom, Doomsday, Deathstroke, HairDevil, Kingpin, Liceman, The Orange Hulk, The Orange Thing, Orange Spawn, Gambit, Venom, Hellboy, Hellmanbaby, Ironic Man, The Inhuman Torch, Blightcrawler, Two-Face, Orange Skull, Apocalypse, Mr. Sinister, Bane, Zoom, Shredder, Mongul, Abomination, Hobgoblin, Parasite, Lizard, The Codfather

Nicknames of Trump's Family, Friends, Cabinet, Lapdogs and A$$ociates

Trump's Immediate Family and Most Intimate Friends (and Russian Controllers)

Ivanka Trump: Ivanka Tramp, Proxy Wife, Nordic Goddess, The First Lady-Daughter, Kushner's Crush, Kushner's Cush Toy, Daddy's Little Lapsitter, The Hot One, The Smart One, Glamorpuss, Princess Royal

Jared Kushner: The Good Boy (Donald Trump), Baby Boy (Ana Navarro), Cushy Kushner, Trump's Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin), Jarhead, Jarring Kushner, The Boy Blunder, Little Lord Fauntleroy, Ralph Lauren of Arabia, Nimrod, The Neophyte, Aide de Kampf (Michael R. Burch)

Tiffany Trump: Tiff, Wild Card, Trinket, Not Ivanka, M.I.A., P.O.W., The Imprisoned Princess of Trump Tower, The Forgotten Trump, The Unknown Trump, Miss Invisible, The Other Daughter, The Spotlight Shunner, The Anti-Trump, Any Tiff, Tiff Fanny, Fit Fanny, The Calabasas Countess

Marla Maples: Sap, Sappy, The Orgasmist (she announced to the world that sex with The Donald was her best ever), Georgia Peach (her nickname as a model), The Illusionist (she said that her marriage to The Donald was "built on an illusion"), The Delusionist, The Kabbalahist, Miss Resaca Beach Poster Girl, Miss Hawaiian Tropic, Designing Woman (she appeared on the TV show)

Barron Trump: Mini-Donald, Little Donald, Poor Little Rich Boy, Barron von Trump

Melania Trump: The Slovenian Sphinx (Maureen Dowd), Melania Antoinette, First Babe, Melanoma, The Ice Queen (Gloria Erin Ryan), The Cold One, The Swamp Queen, The Trump Sitter, The Superglamorous Stepford Wife (André Leon Talley), The Apprentice Bride, Bride of Trumpenstein

Donald Trump Jr.: Junior, Dunce Jr., Son of Drumpf, Ponyboy, Usay, Fredo Corleone, Frito Corleone, Fraido, The Bedwetter, Diaper Don, Eddie Munster (Kathy Griffin), The Good Boy (Donald Trump Sr.)

Frederick Trump: Fred, Freddy Freeloader (he overbilled the government on housing projects), Frederick the Not-So-Great, Father of the Beast, The Kingmaker (Fred Trump said that he raised his son to be a "king"), Woody Guthrie's Bane (after the singer-songwriter wrong angry songs about Fred Trump's racism), The Blight Supremacist

Eric Trump: Eric the Red, Eric the Brain Dead, Eric of Orange, Eric Idle, Qusay, Date Rape (Kathy Griffin), Draco Malfoy, Sonny Corleone, Sonny-Boy, Eric the Hysteric, Marksman (his Secret Service code name)

Dave Duke: The Klansman, Mr. KKK, Grand Wizard, Grand Lizard, The Duke of Hurl, The Duke of Churl, Duke Nuke 'Em, Ill Douche, The Nazi of LSU (his college nickname), The Natty Klansman (he favors suits and ties over those traditional white robes), The Dark Knight (he founded the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan), Cuck of the White Supremacist Walk, The Blight Supremacist

Richard Spencer: The Snazzy Nazi, Retch Hard, The Retard, Dick, The Dick to End All Dicks (and the World), The Village Idiot, The Pillage Idiot, The White Dumbass-ist

ICE Director Thomas Homan: Inhuman Homan (Michael R. Burch), The ICEman Cometh

Vladimir Putin: Vova, Abaddon (the Angel of Death), Vlad the Impaler, Vlad the Terrible, Vladula, Pale Moth (his KGB code name), Botox (because of his smooth skin), Darth Vladimir, The Kremlin's Grey Cardinal, The Blonde Bond, The Barechested Cossack, Tsarzan, The Puppet Master, Trump's Controller, The BEAST

George Papadopoulos: Putin's Proxy, Putin's Puppet, Putin's Poppet, Putin's Intermediary, The Matchmaker, The Kremlin Connection, Mr. Moscow, Mueller's Mole, Papa Dope, Dopey, The Greek Geek, The Think Tanker, The Hudson Hawk, Coffee Boy, Coffee Grounds, The Dregs, Low Level, Trump's Cabana Boy, George Cabanadopoulos, George Boyodopoulos

Straight from the jackass's mouth: Russian politician Vyacheslav Alekseyevich Nikonov, a member of the Duma (ruling assembly), said on live TV that U.S. intelligence "missed it when Russian intelligence stole the presidency of the United States."

Vyacheslav Alekseyevich Nikonov: Eyechart, The Man Who Never Needs to Buy a Vowel, Heel of Misfortune, The Schoolmarm

Sergey Zheleznyak: Trump's Biggest Booster, The Civilizer of Americans, The Lecturer

Vladimir Zhirinovsky: The Russian Donald Trump, Count Vladula

Vyacheslav Volodin: Voodoo, Triple-V, V-Man

Sergey Kislyak: The Recruiter, The Mole Man, Russia's Top Spy, Trump's Handler, The Impresario, Jabba the Gut, The Pillsbury Diplomat (Stephen Colbert "alter ego")

Sergei Gorkov: Kushner's Controller, Jared's Russian Sugar Daddy, The Insider, The Financer, Putin's Piggy Banker, Putin's Slush Fund Manager, Putin's Kitty Stroker, Mr. Rublebags, The Kremlin's Crown Prince of Profit, Mr. Vnesheconombank, The VEB of Deceit, The Black Widow

Natalia Veselnitskaya: Natashe Fatale, Natalia Romanova, Zora the Geek, Octohussy, Hussy Galore, Dishonor Blackman, Shill Masters Son, So Long Dimwit Adios, Bonita Booby Trap, Rink-a-Dink Fink, Blog Cabin Girl, High Jinx, Vesper Sinned, Triple X, Trip Lex, Strawberry Yields, Severance, Domino Downfall, Fredo's Downfall, The Knock-Off, Yet Another Loose End, Blunderball 007, Miss Russian Collusion Fusion, Trump Tower's Favored Immigrant (she is on parole with American Immigration), The Prosecutor's Bride (her nickname in Russia during her marriage to Alexander Mitusov), Miss FSB, Agent 55002 (she worked for FSB Military Unit 55002)

Rinat Akhmetshin: Boris Badenov, Mr. Con-Fusion, The GRUsome Spook, The Mole, Mr. Counter Intelligence, The Propagandist, Putin's Shadow Lobbyist, The Man in the Shadows, The Shadowist, Trump's Controller, AK-47, The Mercenary, Russia's Gun-for-Hire, The Hacker, The Spy Who Came in from the Cold War, The Double-Speak Agent, The Lobbyist, Rinat of the Oligarchs

Aras Agalarov: The Mogul, The Oligarch, The Donald Trump of Russia, Azerbijani Aras

Emin Agalarov: Mogul Lite, Little Mogul, The Azerbijani Eminem

Yury Yakovlevich Chaika: The Crown Prosecutor, Trump's Elector

Rob Goldstone: The Gold Digger, The Name Dropper, The Pawn Broker, The Bet-Hedger (he posted a selfie of himself in a pro-Russia shirt hours after Trump was elected president), Nebbish Nero, Chubby Caligula, The Oligarch's Intimate, The Weak Link, Cold Stone Robber

Ivan Timofeev: Ivan the Terrible, The Director, Director of Russian Internal Affairs

Irakly Kaveladze: Ike, Putin's Launderer, The Whitewasher, Mr. Magnitsky, The Magnet, The Invisible Man, Comrade Croak US, Hocus Crocus, The Wallflower, The Analyst, The Pawn Broker, Putin's Mike, The Eighth Wheel

Denis Katsyv: The Launderer, Mr. Moneybags

Anatoli Samochornov: The Interpreter, The Deep State Contractor

Boris Epshteyn: Bore Us (his high school nickname), Boris Badenov, Putin's Proxy, The Russian Surrogate, The Rat, The Mole, Moscow's Investment Guru, Frankenstein Epshteyn

Alan S. Futerfas: Flutter-Fast, Scumsaver, The Mob's Legal Beagle, Mr. Mob, Mr. Mafia, Russian Red Futerfas, The Pork Avenue Trombonist

Rhona Graff: The Gatekeeper, Keeper of the Graft, Graff Spree

Jamie Gorelick: The Dropout, The Licked Lawyer

Abbe Lowell: Prayer Time, Kushner's Last Line of Defense, The Heavyweight

Peter W. Smith: The Go-Between, Putin's Procurer, The Hacker Backer

Michael Caputo: Capo Caputo, Kaputo, Kaput, Kaputz, Mafioso Mike

Trump attorney Marc E. Kasowitz: Marc the Narc, Snarky Marc, Case o' Vino, Case o' Shitz, Witzless, the Uberlitigator (on his website)

Trump attorney Ty Cobb: The Oatmeal Guy (SNL's Michael Che), Captain Kinder-Zoo (Michael R. Burch), Maize, The Cobbler, The Corn Cobbler, The Hobbled Scare Crow, The Hit King, Asleep at the Wheel (Steve Bannon)

Trump attorney John Dowd: Dowdy Dowd, The Dowager, The Dowdy Dodger, Howdy Dowdy, Porta-John, Asleep at the Wheel (Steve Bannon)

Trump attorney Jay Sekulow: Jaybird, Jaywalker, Jay "Seek the Low Road" Sekulow, Seek and Destroy Sekulow

Trump foreign policy adviser Joseph E. Schmitz: The Mercenary, Mr. Blackwater, Mr. Whitewater

Trump counterterrorism expert Walid Phares: Squalid Walid, The Toad Warrior, The Maronite

Retired Army Lt. Gen. Joseph 'Keith' Kellogg: Special K, Cornflake

The "Big Six" or "Deep State Six"

Paul Ryan: Lyin' Ryan, Pious Paul, Paul Ruin, Eddie Munster, Alfalfa, A-ryan, Brown Nose, Nana Killer, The Granny Killer, Rathole, Trump's Cheerleader (Dan Rather), Gilligan

Mitch McConnell: Fuckface McTurtlebitch, The Turtle (Jon Stewart), Mitch the Snitch-Bitch, Mitch the Twitch, Mitch the Shitz, Mitch Switch Bait, Koch Addict (Michael R. Burch)

Orrin Hatch: Orrin Goering, Orrin Moron, Orrin Boring, Borin' Orrin, Boring Snatch, The Snitch Who Stole Healthcare, The Hatchling, Half-Hatched Orrin, Down the Hatch Orrin, Orin Drainpipe, The Albino Weasel, Mucoso, Snorin' Orin (he's older than the hills and needs lots of naptime)

Secretary of the Treasury Steve Mnuchin: Hedge Hog, PAC-man, No-Chin Mnuchin, The Foreclosure King, The Forecloser, The Double-Downer, The Granny Terminator, Dune Messiah, The Honeymooner, The Honey-Mooner (after Mnuchin used a government plane on his honeymoon), The Vulture Crapitalist

Gary Cohn: Sachs-man, The Goldman Sackman (he's hired, you're fired), Cohn's Disease, A$$hole, Koch-Koch-Nut (Michael R. Burch), The Cohn-vict, Cohn-Tiki, Globalist Gary, CTC (Carbon Tax Cohn), The Government Sacker, The TARP King, Bailout Boy, High Risk, The Risk Taker, Cohn-victed Melonhead, The Cohnhead

Kevin Brady: Colonel Klink, Death Warmed Over, Mean Ways Brady, Mr. Secret Payoff, The SalesTaxMan, The Sales Tax Shaman

The Rest of Trump's Inner Circle and Cabinet

Secretary of Homeland Security and White House Chief of Staff General John F. Kelly: Acting President Kelly, General Alert, Red Alert, Hobo, The Hitcher, The Freight-Hopper (he hopped trains in his youth), The White House Chief of Graft, Elegant John Kelly (Donald Trump, no idea why), Get Mo' Gitmo, Gitmo Money, The ICE Man Cometh, Mr. Mass Deporter, Kelly Greenbuck$, Kelly's Zeros, Triple K Kelly, Jean Claude Killy (in his last Pentagon new conference Kelly said it would be "good" to kill), Killer Kelly (Donald Trump's pet nickname for his favorite neo-CON), Church Lady (by White House staffers), Mary Poppins, Trump's Nanny, Trump's Man-Baby Sitter, Nut Job (Donald Trump)

“I’ve got another nut job here who thinks he’s running things!”—Donald Trump

Chief Strategist Stephen K. Bannon: Acting President Bannon, Trump's Torch, My Steve (Donald Trump), Trump's Brain (Elizabeth Williamson), Mr. Alt-Right, Stephen KKK Bannon, Loose Cannon Bannon, Darkness Incarnate, The AmeriKlan Idol, Deceivin' Steven, Darth Bannon, Darth Insidious, Sauron, The Great Manipulator (TIME), Gríma Wormtongue, The Alt-Right Ideologue (Elizabeth Williamson), Bannon the Barbarian, The Leninist, Bye Bye Bannon, Banned Bannon, Trump's Eminence Grise (David A. Graham), The Blight Supremacist, The Grim Reaper (SNL), Sloppy Steve (Donald Trump)

Kellyanne Conway: Wrongway Conway (Michael R. Burch), The Spin-Mistress (Bess Levin), Miss Misinformation (Michael R. Burch), The Trump Whisperer (Frank Bruni), The Trump Hisser, Con-Way Twitter, Nutter Consigliere (Jim Newell), Vichy (Stephen Romanenghi), Free Agent (Joe Scarborough), Fact-Free Agent (Michael R. Burch), Fatal Attraction (SNL), Fatal Detraction (Michael R. Burch), The Spinster (Michael R. Burch), The Spinstress (Michael R. Burch), Satan's Trophy Wife (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Soulless Cretin (Daily Kos), The Cold One, Snowcone, Alt-Right Barbie

Attorney General Jeff Sessions: Buford T. Injustice, Evil Snoats, Granny Clampett, The Scold, The Hobbit (Trevor Noah), Bill Dough Baggins (Michael R. Burch), Detour-ney General, Perjurer General, Round-a-Bout Bubba, Nuts (Donald Trump), Shocked Grandma (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Cloverleaf Pixie (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Possum Boy (SNL)

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson: SOS, Rexit, T-Rex, Rexosaurus, T-Wrecks, Br'er Rex, Rex Drillerson, Rex Shillerson, Rex Killerson, Rex Billerson, Mr. Rublebags, Putin's Puppet, Putin's Rasputin (Michael R. Burch), Rexputin, Putin's Right Hand Man, Secretary of Wait (Michael R. Burch), Secretary in State (Michael R. Burch), the Secretary of Stating the Obvious (after Tillerson called Trump an Effin' Moron after a high-level Pentagon meeting)

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer: Scary Spicer (Elizabeth Harris Burch), Vanilla Spice, Stupid (Donald Trump), Sean Sphincter (College Voice), The Mouthpiece (David Horsey), Spicy, Spokestoady, Spokestwit, Spokestool, Spokesmoron, Sean Spiceless, Sean Spineless, The Spice of Death, Ass-Spice

Director of Strategic Communications Hope Hicks: Hopeless Hicks, Tricky Hicky, Hicks from the Sticks, Hicks from the Styx, The Hickster, Huckster Hicks, Hopester and Hopie (Donald Trump), Piece of Tail (Donald Trump, per Michael Wolff), Dopey Hopie, Hippy Hicks, Hipster Hicks The Press Dreck-retary

White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci: The Mooch, Scary Scaramucci, Scarface, Scare-a-Douche, Loose Lips Scaramucci, The Mooch Smooch (Trevor Noah), The 'Do-Wop

Sherriff Joe Arpaio: Hitler (his nickname among his tent concentration camp inmates), Shitler, Twitler, Wyatt Twerp, Wyatt TARP, Joe Pa Payola, Joe Paternal, Boss Hogg, The Maricopa Madman, Officer Loco, Wiley E. Peyote, Lawrence of Insania, The Sidewinder, Generalissimo Joe Arpaio

Trump senior policy adviser Stephen Miller: Young Gargamel (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Sméagol (Trevor Noah), The White Hinternationalist (Michael R. Burch), Basic Henchman (Trevor Noah), Master of Mendacity (Frank Vyan Walton), Neo-Jackboot (Frank Vyan Walton), Angry Hairless Nutria, National Forehead Reserve (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Racist Asshole (Samantha Bee), Mad Men

Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke: Rinky-Dink Zinke, The Bozeman Bozo, The Knife Collector, On-the-Blink Zinke, Blinky Zinke, The Beagle Scout (Zinke appeared at a Trump event in his eagle scout uniform)

Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross: Sleepy, Naptime, Ross Rothschild (he worked for N. M. Rothschild & Sons), The Bankruptcy King, Bottom Feeder, Wilbur Wrong Force, Heavens to Betsy Ross, The Vulture Crapitalist

Deputy National Security Adviser for Strategy Dina Habib Powell: Dina Sure, Dina-Sore, T-Wrecks, Sachs-Girl, Sachs Diva, The Egyptian, Mummy Dearest

Deputy Chief of Staff Katie Walsh: Welshing Walsh, Katie Bar the Door, The Trump Sitter, The Man-Baby Sitter, The Thin-Ice Skater, The Leaker, Trump's Office Wife

Jason Miller: The Great Communicator, The Strategist, The Genius, The Smart One (he turned down the job of Trump communications director)

Trump spokesperson Katrina Pierson: Hurricane Katrina, Miss Misinformation, Miss Spokestoady, The Holey Cruzader (she backed Ted Cruz before Trump), Miss Teapot (she's a Tea Party advocate), Miss PACman

White House press aide Michael Short: The Short Timer (he resigned quickly after Scaramucci was hired by the Trumpageddon administration), The De-press-ed Aide, Short Circuit

Mike Huckabee: Judas, Huckster Huckabee, Huckleberry Spin, Huckmaster General, Huck Fuckabee, Huck Upchuck, Hick Muckabee, The Muckster, Brother Smother, Tax Hike Mike, Triple Wide, Duck Hunter, Uncle Sugar (he once said that the only reason women voted for Democrats was because Uncle Sugar promised to pay for their birth control), Gomer Pile On

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders: Sarah "Suck My Pee" Sanders, Kentucky Fried, Sarah Suckup, Sarah Suckabee, The Succubus, Miss Huckster, Basic Atrocity, Sister Smother, The Gomerette, Elmira Gantry, Elvira Gantry, Possum Queen, Spokestoady, The Spinstress, Cruella de Vile, Hick Morticia

Paul Manafort: The Count, The Uber-Lobbyist (David Catanese), Putin's Revenge, The Russian Lobbyist-in-Chief, American Mole, The Ultimate Insider, Knuckles, Steamroller, The Six Million Ruble Man

Rick Gates: Prison Gates, Rick Grates, Rick "Gates of Hell"

White House lawyer Ty Cobb claimed that "it would be truly shocking" if Paul Manafort had "tried to monetize his relationship with the president." But why would that be so shocking, when Trump himself has blatantly monetized the presidency?

Roger Stone: Roger Rabid (Michael R. Burch), Dirty Trickster (Elizabeth Burke), Roger the Artless Dodger, State of the Art Sleazeball, The Most Dangerous Person in America Today (The Village Voice)

Acting Secretary of Homeland Security Elaine Duke: The Duke of Hurl (after she said hurricane-ravaged Puerto Rico was a "really a good news story" for the Trump administration)

White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus: Trump's Nanny, Reince-y and Midget (Donald Trump), Reince "and Flush" Priebus, Follywood, Rinse Penis, Rinse Priapus, Prince Penis, Prince Precipice, Prince Rhesus, Prince Rebus, Princess Reba, E Priebus Loonum, "Rinse Twice and Spit" Priebus, Prince Precipitous, Rancid Rinse, Rancid Penis, Rimjob Precipuss, The Paranoiac (Anthony Scaramucci), The Fucking Paranoid Schizophrenic (Anthony Scaramucci), Snidely Whiplashed (Michael R. Burch), Penis Rice A Roni (Stephen Colbert alter ego), Everybody's Punching Bag (Michael Wolff), The Little Guy from Kenosha (Steve Bannon)

National Security Adviser General Herbert Raymond McMaster: Master of Disaster, McMonster, McMasher, H.R., H.R. Huff'n'Puff, H.R. Disaster, Ray of Blight

Director of National Intelligence Daniel Ray Coats: Daniel in the Lyin' Den (Michael R. Burch), Rushin' Red Coats, Reagan's Ray Gun, Dan Coots, Dan in Cahoots with Putin

Trump foreign policy adviser Carter Page: Stranichkin (Russian for "little page"), The Window Dresser, Putin's Page Boy, Putin's Pimp, Putin's Apologist, Moscow's Brazen Apologist (Michael Isikoff), Trump's Moscow Mystery Man (Julia Ioffe), The Russian Mole, The Gazprom Greaser, Who? (Corey Lewandowski, Politico, Bill Browder and other Real Experts on Russia), Mr. Irrelevant

Sarah Palin: Sarah Barracuda (her high school nickname), Sarahcudda, Shirknado (Michael R. Burch), Caribou Barbie, Half-Baked Alaskan, Mooselini, Moose-o-lini, The Wasilla Gorilla or Gurlzilla, Klondike Kardashian, Klondike Dike, The Wasilla Hillbilly, The Wasillabilly, Tundra Twit, The Moosiah Pit Bull in Lipstick (according to herself), Mama Grizzly, Palin-Drone, Chick Cheney, Sarah Stalin, Moose MILF, The Alaska Disasta, McCain's Bane, Northern Overexposure, Nightmayor, Sarah Snowjob, The Boreal Narcissus, The Blight Supremacist

Bristol Palin: Brisket® (the ® because she registered her name as a trademark!), Brisquet, Bras Tool, Barstool, Bristhole, Brissie, Bristie, Brissypants, Bitchol, Pigstool Grifter Jr.

Meghan McCain: Soylent Blonde, SoyBlo, Meghan McBane

Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch: Darth Evader, Goldman Sachs' Rubber Stamp, A$$hole, The Unjust Justice, The Grinder (for grinding ordinary Janes and Joes under the crushing wheels of corporations), The Greek Geek, Fratboy, FIJI-boy and the Fraternizer (for defending his college frat against charges of date rape)

Bill O'Reilly: Shill O'Reilly, Bull O'Really, Bill O'Goods, The Spin Zone Doctor, The Spin Doktor, The Spin DoKKKtor, Papa Bear (Stephen Colbert), Mr. Sexual HarA$$ment, Sex Beast, Sexual Predator, The Permanent Vacationer, Big O (George W. Bush), Podzilla (since his new medium will be podcasts)

Corey Lewandowski: Gory Corey, Mr. Assault and Battery, The Lobbyist, Never-Elected (he received a whopping 7 votes in his first election campaign and never won an election), The Wand of Death

Vice President Mike Pence: Trump's Poodle (George F. Will), Hoosier (his Secret Service code name), Cuddles, Trumpence None the Retcher (Michael R. Burch), Sick Pence None the Retcher (Michael R. Burch), Tuppence, Spence for Hire, Spencer Racy, Silver Faux Fox, The Mad Monk, Out of the Loop Dupe (USA Today), Mike Pensive, Deep Veep (wading deep in s**t, that is), The Bleep Veep, The Creep-Veep, The Veep Creeping in Search of a Spine, The Foxhole Huddler, The Fence Sitter, Dense Pence, Senseless Pence, Fat Termite, Miss-Spence Youth, THE VICEROY, The Vice-Boy, The Vice Antichrist

"What is it about Mike Pence that no one ever tells him anything?" — David Axelrod

Karen Pence: Hummingbird (her Secret Service code name), Ms. Pensive, Ms. Vice

Secretary of Energy Rick Perry: Crotch (because he wore tight jeans and "adjusted" himself often), Dumba$$, Secretary of the Department of Oops! ("Whazzat I run? Duh, I forget!"), Rick Fairy, Rick Unfairy, Rick Moronic, Rick Moreanus, Texas Toast, Perry Masonic, Perry Moronic, The Brand Perry, The Bland Perry, The Gland Perry

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos: Cruella DeVos, Cruella DeVile, Diva DeVos, DeVile DeVos, DeVoid DeVos, Devolution DeVos, Wetsy Betsy, Betsy Dross, The Education Terminator, Madame DeVoucher, The Segregationist (Randi Weingarten pointed out that private school vouchers are "only slightly more polite cousins of segregation"), The Semi-Polite Slighter (Michael R. Burch), The Chalk Closet Racist

Secretary of Defense James Mattis: Mad Dog, Warrior Monk, Mad Monk, Chaos (his very appropriate call-sign)

Former Secretary of Defense Mike Flynn: Dr. Strangelove, In Like Flynnt, Red Flynnstone (Michael R. Burch), "Flynn Facts," Putin's Pawn, Amerika's Angriest General, Flynnskint, Red Flynn, The Canary (because he's about to sing like one), Huckleberry Din

Michael G. Flynn: Dr. Strangelove Jr., Red Flynnstone Jr. (Michael R. Burch), Red Flynn Jr., The Junior Canary (because he's about to sing like one), Informer Jr., Huckleberry Din Jr., Tebow Lite, Trump Fan II

Secretary of Agriculture George Ervin Perdue III: Sonny, Ophie Junior (his mother's name was Ophie), The Rainman (he once "prayed up a storm" pleading for rain)

Secretary of Labor Andrew Puzder: Putz Puzder, Colonel Klink, CKE-n Little, The Wage Terrorist, The Wage Deflator, The Lowballer, The Burger-Bikini Baron, Randy Andy

Secretary of Labor Alexander Acosta: Alex, Dean, Trump's Token Hispanic, The Exile (his parents are Cuban refugees)

Secretary of Health & Human Services Tom Price: Sky-High Price, Pricey Tom, The Leer Jetter, Optics-Con, Tom Sellout, Tom Thumb, Tom "Profit More" Price, The Amerikan Mengele, One Man Death Panel, The Six Million Dolor Man, Tom "Wait until you see the whites of their ayes" Price, Tom "the Price is Your Life"

Secretary of HUD Ben Carson: Psychopath (Donald Trump), HUD Ornament (Michael R. Burch), Carsonoma (Michael R. Burch), Crazy Ben Carson, Dummy (his childhood nickname), Eli (his Secret Service code name), One Nation (his choice for a Secret Service code name)

Secretary of Veterans Affairs David Shulkin: Skulkin' Shulkin (Michael R. Burch), The Designated Survivor

Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao: Mrs. Mitch McConnell, Tiger Wife (Stuart Bloch), Madame Secretary, Fireworks, Short Fuse, Madame Chaos

Deputy Attorney General Dana J. Boente: Deputy Dawg, Trump's Lapdog, Barney Fife, Goober, The Decoy

Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein: Rosey Red, Russian Red, Red Rod, Rowdy Roddy Fib-Piper

UN Ambassador Nikki Haley: Political Prostitute (Kim Jong Un), Hurricane Haley, Trump's Hatchet Lady, Darlin' Nikki

EPA Director Scott Pruitt: Hot Air Buffoon, The Possum (his college nickname), Polluting Pruitt, Big Oil's Poster Boy, Tar Baby, Tsar Baby, Tarball, The Freakin' Fracker, The FracKing, King Frack

White House Staff Secretary Rob Porter: Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Rob, Self Deporter Porter, Kelly's Zero, Hicks' Hopeless, The Honeymooner (Porter's ex-wife Colbie Holderness accused him of abusing her on their honeymoon), Bratman's Butler

Trump's Allies, Supporters, Henchmen, Associates and Lapdogs

David Pecker: Trump's Pecker Protector, Trump's A.M.I.go, Mr. In-credible, Mr. Catch and Kill

Sean Hannity: Sean O'Scammity (Michael R. Burch), Sean of the Brain Dead (Michael R. Burch), Lumpy (Jon Stewart), Malignant Lump, Archbishop of Bullshit (TrevorNoah), Shammity, Sean Vanity, Sean Insanity, Flubberboy, Blubberboy, The Clown Prince of Conservatism, The Con Server Fib (Michael R. Burch)

Luther Strange: Big Luther, Lyin' Luther Strange, Strange Brew, Strange Bro', Dr. Strangelove, The Big Bunny (his college nickname), Lex Luther, The Runoff King, Strange LLC (his law firm), The Transgender Rearender and Exxon Defender

Judge Roy Moore: Sludge Roy Moore, The Ten Commandments Fudge, Playboy Roy, Rob Roy, Captain America, Captain Shamerica, The Ten Commandments Judge (Sara Palin), Fruit Salad, Fruit Loops, Doofus (his West Point classmates), The Supreme Deplorable

Alabama Governor Kay Ivey: Poison Ivey, The Child Luv Guv, Pedophiles 'R' US, The Alabama Madame

Former Alabama Governor Robert Bentley: The Luv Guv, Obently, The Flim-Flam Man, Mr. God Complex

Trump attorney Michael Cohen: The Cohenhead, Mr. Creepypants (after he posted a picture of his college-age daughter in very sexy black lingerie), Edgy Segue (pun on Edie Sedgwick, after Cohen said his daughter was following in the footsteps of Edie Sedgwick, an "It Girl" and Andy Warhol "youthquaker" who was frequently photographed in skimpy undies), The 130,000 Dollar Man, The Stormy Trooper (since he "facilitated" a 130K payoff to porn star Stormy Daniels), Stormy Whether

Erik Prince: The Prince of Darkness, The Dark Night, Creature from the Blackwater Lagoon, The Mercenary, Soldier of Misfortune, The Envoy, Trump's Unofficial Russian Envoy, Erik the Red, Prince Uncharming

Sebastian Gorka: Gorky Park, Dorky Park, Borat, The Irregular, The Mad Hungarian, The Hun, The Incredible Shrinking "Expert" Witness, The Trump Hisser, Snake in the A$$, Sayonara Gorka

Omarosé Onée Manigault Newman: Omarosa, Pondarosa, Ass-O-Rama, Assorama, Trump's Token, Trump's Soul Sistah, The None-Celebrity Apprentice (Piers Morgan), The Firee, The Trump Hisser, Trump's Brown Sugar, The Nasty TV Villain (TV Guide), Piers Morgan's Bane, Affirmative Auction, The White House Wedding Planner, Auntie Tom

Matt Boyle: The Boil, Fever Blister, Boiling Mad Matt, The Breitbartian, The Barbarian

Mike Cernovich: Juicebro, The Conspiracy Theorist, The Rape Apologist, Mr. Alimony, Gorilla Mindset, Girl-Ill-a Mind-Sweat, Gorilla in our Midst, Cuck of the Walk

Chair of the House Oversight Committee Jason Chaffetz: Chaff, Chaffy, Chaff-Lips, Chipmunk, Chipmunk Cheeks, Cheeky, Chip, Grandstanding Charlatan (Heather Digby Parton), Jason "Putin on the Ritz" Chaffetz, (Michael R. Burch), Jason and the Ego-Nuts (Michael R. Burch), Half-Assed Chaffetz, Seductive Beaver Mascot (Stephen Colbert "alter ego")

House Intelligence Chairman Devin Nunes: Fake News Nunes, Known-Nothing Nunes, Numbnuts Nunes, Devin Devil, Nanu Nanu Nunes, Narc Nunes, Little Squealer, Trump's Stooge (Nancy Pelosi)

Congressman Dana Rohrabacher: Putin's Favorite Congressman, Putin's Apologist, Putin's Proxy, Assad's AmeriKlan Ally, Dana the Red, Red Dana, Dirty Dana

SEC Chairman Walter J. Clayton: Jay, Jaybird, The Bailout King, The Wall Street Jaywalker, Goldman Sacks Washington, Hatin' Clayton

Trump donor Robert Mercer: Hedge Hog, PACman, Dark Money, The Megadonor, Merciless Mercer, Ming the Merciless, The Cluster Fucker, The Quant King, The Vulture Crapitalist, The Number Cruncher

Trump donor Rebekah Mercer: Bekah, Bekah Bilker, Bannon's Backer, The Whiny Hellcat, The Mega-Donor, The First Lady of the Alt-Right

Legislative Affairs Assistant to the President Marc Short: Short of the Marc, Shortstop, Shortcut, Short-Sighted, Koch Addict, Koch Lite, Dark Money Marc, Junior Asshole

Comptroller of the Currency nominee Joseph Otting: Outed Otting (after he claimed to have a degree from Dartmouth that Dartmouth doesn't even offer), "Leave it to Otter" Joe

Felix Sater: The Satyr, The Margarita Assassin, Felix Satyr, Red Felix, Switchblade, The Knife Fighter, The Bar Fighter, (Sater went to prison for stabbing a man in a bar fight), The Boy Scouter

Willard Mitt Romney: Bishop Romney, The RomneyBot, Plastic Man, Bain in the Ass (David Letterman's #1), King of Bain (Newt Gingrich), Mitt the Twit, The Stench (allegedly what Paul Ryan calls Romney behind his back)

Rick Santorum: Pope Sanctimonious I, Rick Satan, Prick Sanatorium, Insanatorium Rooster, Rooster Fogburn, Frothy

Chris Christie: Christie Kreme, The Illsbury Dough-Boy, The Cookie Monster, Big Boy (George W. Bush), Pork Chop, Pork Dork, Porky Pine, Porko Vallarta, Enormes Pantalones, Pufferfish, Trueheart (his choice for a Secret Service code name), Corpus Christie, Governor Sammiches, Christie Creme Brule, Boca Rotundo, MAN WITH A KLAN (The New Yorker), Heroic Deputy (Christie was hailed as Trump's "Heroic Deputy" by the Daily Stormer, a neo-Nazi website that endorsed Donald Trump), Puddin' Pants, Pigload, Ass Kistie

Ann Coulter: AnnThrax, Ann the Man, Coultergeist, Beltway Barbie, Yardsale Barbie (Tina Fey), Cuckoo Coulter, Tranny Annie, Rush Limbette, Mann Coulter, Chairman Ann, Ann Coltrear, Uber Bitchette, Colt 34D (allegedly her bra size, but a man would have to drink a helluva lot of Colts to want to be sure)

Jeb Bush: Tortoise (George W. Bush), Joyful Tortoise (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Low Energy (Donald Trump), Pathetic Figure (Donald Trump), Eveready (Jeb's Secret Service code name), Veto Corleone, The Bushmaster, Bush League, Gator, Jebster

Carly Fiorina: Chainsaw Carly (for all the jobs she cut at HP and Compaq), Golden Parachutress, The Anti-Hillary, Secretariat (her choice for a Secret Service code name)

John Kasich: Pope (he wanted to be the pope as a boy), Unit One (his choice for a Secret Service code name), Unit Two (his wife's amusing alternate suggestion!)

Rand Paul: Mr. Nerdy Perm, Mr. Poodle-'Do, The Aquah Budha, Truly Weird Rand Paul (Donald Trump), Justice Never Sleeps (his choice for a Secret Service code name; he later called it "one of those nicknames you try to make happen and miserably fail")

Scott Walker: The Desperado (in his high school yearbook), Niedermeyer (after an overly aggressive ROTC leader in the movie Animal House), Scott Balker, Harley (his choice for a Secret Service code name), The Beagle Scout, The Dropout (reportedly, he missed too many classes running for class president!), Hot Ham, Luke Sigh Walker

Rudy Giuliani: Trudy, Julianne, Judge Rudy, Rudy the Red-Nosed Panderer, Amerika's Scariest Mayor, Rude Rudy, Trump's Scampaign Manager, Batshit Crazy Rudy, Enbalmer's Display Model (Stephen Colbert "alter ego")

Marco Rubio: No-Show Rubio, AWOL, Rube, Young Rube, Qubics Rube, The Water Boy, Big Gulp, Lightweight Choker (Donald Trump), Little Marco (Donald Trump), Captain Thirstypants, Rubio the Unready, Marco Poll-Low, Marco Mussolini, Marco Sharknado, Easy Mark (Donald Trump), Mr. Roboto


Israeli Prime Minister Benyamin Netanyahu: Bibi, King Bibi, Nit-and-Yahoo, Bibi the Merciless, Butcher Bibi, The Widowmaker, The Orphanmaker
German Chancellor Angela Merkel: Kasi, Frau Nein, Frau Europa, Mutti ("Mommy"), Mein Madchen ("My Girl" by Helmut Kohl), The Iron Chancellor
Rupert Murdoch: Rupert Murder-Doc, Papa Doc, Ru Paul (Stephen Colbert), The Last Press Baron (CNN), the Mudslinger, the Faux Fox
Michael Steele: The Sesame Street Guy (Jon Stewart compared him to Grover), The Man of Steal (pun on stealing elections), Steal Trap
Roger Ailes: Roger the Unartful Dodger, The Sex Cadger Codger, Roger Flogger, Roger the Sex Rabbit, The Human Toad (SemDem on Daily Kos)
Rob Portman: Beltway Rob, PAC-Man, The Lobbyist, The Insider, The Outsourcer, The Job Robber, Portmanteau
Ron Paul: Uncle Goldbug, Rue Paul, Dr. No, Rumple
Rod Blum: Bloomin' Idiot, The Screener, The Stalker, The Quitter
Trump lawyer Sheri A. Dillon: Gunsmoke (pun on Matt Dillon), The Smoking Gun, The Hired Gun, Ms. Trust, Trump's Legal Beagle
Tennessee Senator Lamar Alexander: Lame Lamar, Hedy, Alexander the Ungreat, The Candyman, The Plaid Fraud, Omar the Snakeman
Tennessee Representative Marsha Blackburn: Blackguard, Black Heart, Black Turn, Blackweird, The Black Abyss of Ignorance, Deputy Whip
Tennessee Representative Diane Black: The Black Widow, The Black Mamba, The Black Square, Blunder Woman, Diane Tart, Diane Tort
Arizona Senator Jeff Flake: Flake The Flake (Donald Trump), Jeff Flakey (Trump), Snow Flake (he was actually born in Snowflake, AZ), Corn Flake
Sam Clovis: Beavis Clovis, the Walrus, the Boof-alo (he says he's been "boofed" by climate change science), Cloven-Hooves Clovis, Four Leaf Clovis
Newt Gingrich: Tadpole, Angry Tadpole, Angry Muffin (Peggy Noonan), The Bloated Bullfrog, Newticles, Noot, Newt the Nit, Pig Newton
George W. Bush: Dubya, Shrub, Junior, Junior Shrub, Bush League, Bush Baby, Uncurious George, The Decider, GWB, Chimpy McStagger, AWOL
Dick Cheney: The Penguin, Mr. Vice, Big Time (George W. Bush), Duke Nukem, Blam-Blam (he shot a hunter in the face), Dickhead, Tricky Dick II
Donald Rumsfeld: Rummy (George W. Bush), Rheumy, Rheumatoid, The Ruminator, Lucifer Incarnate
Rush Limbaugh: The Human Hindenburg, Rush Dim-Bulb, Lush Dim Blah, Junkie, Limbaugh Cheese, The Rushian, Rushbo, Douche Rimjob
Florida Governor Rick Scott: Prick Scott, Scott Free Prick, Pink Slip Rick, The Emotionless Android, Governor Gollum, Skeletor
Freedom Caucus co-founder Mark Meadows: Free-Dumb Meadows, Idiot (John Boehner)
Freedom Caucus co-founder Jim Jordan: Blare Jordan, Airhead Jordan, Legislative Terrorist (John Boehner)
Trump donor Sylvain Mirochnikoff: The Trader, The Director, The Exotic Equity Derivatives Trader
Deputy National Security Adviser K. T. McFarland: Far-Out McFarland, The Ditz, McFibber, The Airhead, The Tit-for-Tat Tattler (Michael R. Burch)
Deputy Chief of Staff Rick Dearborn: Deputy Lap Dawg, Greenhorn Dearborn, Stillborn Dearborn, Dick Fearborn, Red Russian Rick
Deputy Communications Director Jessica Ditto: Ditto, "Ditto That," Miss Redundant, Bevin's Bane, Trump's Blonde Brander
Personal Aide John McEntee: Aide de Camp, Aide de Kampf, Teed-Off McEntee
Trump campaign consultant George Gigicos: Goner, Gigi, The Greek Geek, George of the Bungle, Phoenix in Flames, Fee-Nixed
Trump bodyguard Keith Schiller: The Shill, The Fireman, The Terminator, The Enforcer, The Gatekeeper, The Babyguard, Killer Shiller
Marine Corps General Joseph Dunford: Fighting Joe, Four-Star, The Chairman, Marathon Man
Deputy Chief of Staff Joe Hagin: Ragin' Hagin
Mo Brooks: Mo' Crooks, Mo' Rooks, No Mo' Books Brooks
Franklin Graham: Graham Cracker, Frank Lee Nutty, The Medievalist
Executive Assistant Madeline Westerhout: Trump's Toady, Wicked Witch of the Westerhout
Mike Pompeo: Pompous Asshole, Putin's Pompous Pimp
Peter Navarro: The EEKonomist, Bullshitter in the China Shop
Antonin Scalia: Antonin "Scaly" Scalia, Nino (Spanish for "infant"), El Nino, El Ninny
David Melech Friedman: Moloch, Fried Brain Man, Mr. Apartheid, Israel's Goebbels
Carl Icahn: Mr. Delorean, Mr. Bailout, The Grey Grifter, Back to the Suture, The Artful Dodger
Daniel Coates: Dan, Offshore Dan, Coates of Many Colors
White House Counsel Don F. McGahn: The Enabler, Cover Artist, Undercover Artist (he does cover songs), Guitar Dan
Michael Dubke: Mike, Karl Rove Jr., Mystery Man, Happy Warrior, Bye Bye Dubke
Peter Navarro: Novice, Nutjob, Ninny
Ajit Pai: Dark Yoda, The Agitator, The Net Neutrality Negator, The Broadband Baron, Sinister Swami
Glenn Beck: Voldemort, Emotional Fescue (Michael R. Burch), American Rhodes, "Weepin'-'n'-Wailin'" Beck
Kevin McCarthy: Kevin “Loose Lips Sink Ships” McCarthy
Dave Brat: Bratman, Terrible Tyke, Dark Night of the Soul
Raul Labrador: Raul "Lapdog" Labrador, Black Lab, Trump's Retriever, Labrador Guppy
Karl Rove: Turd Blossom or Turdblossom (George W. Bush), Turd Polisher (George H. W. Bush), Red Rover, Red Raver
John Boehner: Boner (George W. Bush), Orange Man, Trump's Tan Companion, Weepy, Weepy McDrunky, Sir Drunkalot
Maureen Dowd: The Cobra (George W. Bush), Howdy Dowdy, Dowdy Do-Wrong, Fraulein Dowdy
Kayleigh McEnany: Kellyanne Lite, Inane McEnany, McLiar
Dan Scavino: Scarface, The Scavenger, Great White Snark, Trump's Twitter Babysitter (Michael R. Burch)
David Bossie: Bossy, the Boss, Bessie
Secretary of the Army Mark Green: Greenhorn, Greensleeves, The Medic, Critical Care, The Homophobe
Ezra Cohen-Watnick: The Tapp Dancer, Deep Bloat, The Informant, The Whistleblower (Paul Ryan)
Michael Ellis: Eely Ellis, The Eel, Ellis Islander, Deep Bloat II
John Eisenberg: The Illegal Eagle, Deep Bloat III, Iceberg
Billy Bush: Bush League, The Bush Beater
Richard LeFrak: The Freak, The Mogul, The Overseer
Harrison LeFrak: Little Freak, Freak Jr., The Brain, Dirty Harry
Steve Roth: Zen Master, The Vornado Tornado, Roth's Child, Wrothenstein
Stephen Ross: Dolphin, The Dauphin, The Donor
Gary Barnett: Jigsaw, Mr. Ostentation, Mr. Glitz, The Diamond Trader
Jerry Speyer: The Modest Tuna, The Tishman Tuna
Joseph Chetrit: Big Brother, Big Bother
Larry Silverstein: The Green Banana, Lucky Larry, The Pianist
Chris Ruddy: Ruddy Buddy, Trump's Spokespal, Newsminion, The Smokescreen, Russian Red Ruddy
Senator Dean Heller: Heller High Water, Hell's Bells, The Hellion, The Dean of Healthcare Hell
Tom Cotton: Cottonmouth, Fluffy, The White Cotton King, Uncle Tom, Tehran Tom, Taliban Tom, The Torture King
John Cornyn: Corndog (George W. Bush), Cornpone, Corn Prone, Corncob, Corny, Horn in Cornyn
John Barrasso: Bare Ass, The Ass, The A$$hole, John-Boy
Mike Lee: Mikey, The General, The Ungreat Dane, Alito Jr.
Cory Gardner: The Unconstant Gardner, Tory Cory, Scattershot
Pat Toomey: Sock It Toomey, Senator Elevator (he dodged Trump by hiding in an elevator), Stand Pat Toomey
Mike Enzi: Hate Frenzy Enzi, The Wyoming Homophobe
John Thune: Out-of-Tune Thune, The Giant Killer
AshLee Strong: Eddie Munster's Press Secretary, The SpinMistress, The Black Widow
FBI Director James Comey: Homey Comey, EZ-Comey-EZ-Goey, Show Me Comey
Sam Nunberg: The Nun, Nanoo Nunberg, Sam the None
Barry Bennett: Bennet Dick Arnold, Bare Net Bennet
Budget Director Mick Mulvaney: Mr. Moneybags, Trump's Enabler, Mick the Prick, Mick Vain, Mick Insane, The Whether-Vane
Nick Ayers: Airhead Ayers, Hot Air Ayers
Josh Holmes: Sherlock Holmes's Dumber Brother, Josh "the Dudd" Holmes
Seema Verma: The Verminator
Johnny DeStefano: Stephanie, The Sob Boss, The Headhunter, The Rushin' Recruiter, Mr. Flip Flop
Margaret Peterlin: The Gatekeeper
Brian Hook: Hook'n'Crook, The Hooker, Mr. Memo
Corey Stewart: The Apprentice, Trump's Firee, The Cuckservative, Prince William Unsound, Mr. AR-15
Eric Cantor: Iago, Eric Ranter, Eric Cant, The Wimpy Whip
Matt Drudge: Donald's Drudge, The Drudgemaster, High Dudgeon, The Drudge Deporter, The Drudge Grudger
Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano: Big Sis (Matt Drudge), Naptime Napolitano
George Will: Admiral Weiner, The Assmaster, Will Tell, The Commissioner, The Post Washington Journalist
Joe Lieberman: Traitor Joe, Trader Joe, Joe Stalin, Lieber Dish, Holy Joe, Jihad Joe, Jo(k)e, Joe Doberman
Joe Scarborough: Scar 'Bro, Squint, Mourning Joe, Morning Joe
Herman Cain: Black Walnut (himself), Black Wall Nut (Michael R. Burch), The Murk of Cain (Michael R. Burch)
Haley Barbour: Boss Hogg, Barbourian, Barbarian, BarbAryan
Condoleeza Rice: CON-die, Con Diva, Mistress Condi, Condo Leaser Rice, Con-Dough-Leeza
National Security Adviser Susan Rice: The Trump Unmasker, The Oxfordian, The Valedictorian, Sportin'
UAE Crown Prince Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed al-Nahyan: Money Geyser, The Trump Gusher
Attorney General Sally Yates: Long Tall Sally, Sally Forth
Director of the U.S. Office of Government Ethics Walter Shaub: Mission Impossible, The Trust Buster
Jerry Falwell Jr.: Junior, Junior League Jerry, Jerry Fallhell
Louise Linton: Lyin' Linton, The Lyin' Queen, Zimbabwe Barbie, Marie Antoinette, Mrs. Mnuchin, Mrs. Gnu Chin
Eric Bolling: Bolling Balls (after he allegedly sent lewd pictures to Fox colleagues), Boll Wevil, Boll Weasel, Boll Evil
Andy Hemming: Hemming-Way, Hemming and Hawing Andy, The Trump Stroker
Martin Shkreli: Hedge Hog, The Shortstop, Pharma Monster, Pharma Bro, Pharma Douche, Smarm Bro
Adam Schiff: Shifty
Alex Jones: Alien Sasquatch Love Child (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Hernia Boy (ditto), The Info Warrior, Yogurt Head
Alan Futerfas: Flutter Fast, The Hummingbird, The Criminal Defender, Miami Vice
Bob Marshall: Virginia's Chief Homophobe (himself), Toast, Unemployed, Done
Charles Gillespie: Swamp Thing (Steve Bannon), Jittery Republican Incumbent (Breitbart), The Unembracer (Donald Trump)
Kathleen Hartnett White: Ole Queen Coal, Kathy Clown, Koch Addict, The Fossil Fool
Michael Grimm: The Grimm Reaper, Grimey, Mr. Tax Fraud
Michael Wolff: The Wolffman, Fire and Fury, Total Loser (Donald Trump), Zero Access (Donald Trump)
Deputy White House press secretary Hogan Gidley: Giddy Gidley, Gadfly Gidley, Hogan's Zero 
Porn Star Stormy Daniels: Honeybunch (Donald Trump)

All Donald Trump Nicknames A-Z in Roughly Alphabetical Order, with Our Favorites in Bold

70-Year-Old Toddler — Charles M. Blow
The Abominable Showman
Agent Orange — Anonymous (possibly the hacker group)
Agent of Deranged Change
Alpha Codger
Alpha Groper
Alpha Ignoramus
The Alpha Male Crybaby — George F. Will
Alpha Molester
Alpha Moron
The American Dauphin — Michael R. Burch
America's Black Mole — John Oliver
America's Burst Appendix — Samantha Bee
Amnesty Don — Joe Scarborough and Steve Bannon
Angry Cheeto
Angry Creamsicle — Stephen Colbert
Antichrist — (see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
Art Deal and Mr. "Art of the Deal" — Donald Trump (taken from the title of his 1987 book, which he considers second only to the Bible)
A$$aulter-in-Chief — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Baby Fingers Trump — Michael R. Burch
Mr. Backdoor
Bag of Toxic Sludge
Baldfaced Crier
Barbecued Brutus
Barbarian at the Debate — Charles M. Blow
The Bare-Assed Embarrasser
John Baron and John Barron — Donald Trump (pseudonyms he used to brag about his exploits in the third person)
Baron Trump
Barrel-Shouting Meatball Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
Belladonald — Belladonna is known as "deadly nightshade" and the "Devil's berry"
Big Baby — Lewis Black
The Big Cheeto
Big Donald — Marco Rubio (revised to Pig Donald by feminists)
The Bilious Billionaire
Birther Maniac
Bizarro Bozo — Michael R. Burch
Bling the Merciless — Michael R. Burch
Blitzkrieg Bozo — Michael R. Burch
John Boehner's Tanning Partner in Crime
Boiled Ham in a Wig — Jon Stewart
Boldfinger — Michael R. Burch
Boss Tweet
The Bouffant Buffoon — Michael R. Burch
The Boychurian Candidate — Michael R. Burch (a pun on "The Manchurian Candidate")
The Boy Spout
The Boy Sprout
The Buoy Scout (Michael R. Burch)
The Boy Lout
Boys 'R Us — Michael R. Burch
Brat-Worst — Michael R. Burch (after Trump called Germans "very, very bad" for selling cars in the United States)
Bribe of Chucky
The Brooklyn Bolshevik ― Michael R. Burch
Bully Boy — Mike Rubio
Bush Baby and Bush Baby Fingers — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
The Bush Basher
The Bush Beater
Bushman — Michael R. Burch, after Trump bragged about groping bush to Billy Bush of Access Hollywood
The Bushmaster
Butternut Squash — Trevor Noah
Cancer in a Wig — Trevor Noah
Captain Bluster
Captain Chaos — NBC News
Cap'n Crunch the Cereal Killer — A cartoon character gone over to the Dark Side
Captain Outrageous — Michael R. Burch (a pun on Captain Courageous)
Captain Tantastic
The Chaos Candidate — Jeb Bush
Cheddar Boy
Cheez Doodle — Maureen Dowd
Cheez Whiz — John Oliver
Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator —
Cheeto-in-Chief — Frank Vyan Walton
Cheeto Jesus — Rick Wilson
Chicken Donald — Martin O'Malley
Child Emperor — Tom Scharpling
Cinnamon Hitler — Trevor Noah
Chickenhawk — Because Trump evaded serving in the Vietnam War, but portrays himself as a war hawk ("the most militaristic person on the planet")
The Climate Primate — Michael R. Burch
Clown Prince of Politics
The Colossal Scandal — David Remnick
Comedy Entrapment — Jon Stewart
Comrade Cheetolino
Comrade Trumputin
Condoofus — Michael R. Burch (first used on Facebook and in a Tweet on July 16, 2017)
Conigula — Michael R. Burch
Con-Dike Gold Rush
Corn Husk Doll Cursed by a Witch — Chris Hardwick
The Cowardly Lyin'
The Cruelest and Pettiest President Ever ― George Takei, who played Sulu in the original Star Trek series
Crybaby Trump — Jeff Kanew
Creep Throat — Seth Meyers
Cultural Punch Line — Tom Scharpling
Daddy Warbucks
Daddy Whorebucks — richismo
The Daft Draft Dodger
Dainty Donald
Damien Trump
Damn Turd Pol — anagram
Dangerous Donald — Hillary Clinton
Darkness Incarnate
Dorkness Incarnate
Darth eVader and Darth TaxeVader
Darth Goldplater — Michael R. Burch
Darth Hater
Deadbeat Donald — Dan Rather
Decomposing Jack O'Lantern — Jon Stewart
The Definer
Dehydrated Orange Peel — Libby Inman
Demander-in-Chief — Michael R. Burch
Der Groepenfuehrer
Der Trumpkopf
Diaper Donald — Kevin Cavanaugh
Dingbat Donald
Dire Abby — Michael R. Burch (a pun on "Dear Abby" because Trump frequently tweets relationship advice to other people, but it's usually dire)
Dishonest Don
The Disruptor
The Dick Tater
Dodgy Donald — CrumblingSlowly
Don the Con — Marc Bauer
Don Dementia
The Donald — Ivana Trump (she first used the term in a 1989 Spy Magazine cover story)
Donald deGonad
Donald the Deadbeat — Dan Rather
Donald Dingbat
Donald Dipshit
Donald Dodo — as in the famously stupid dodo bird
The Donaldmeister
Donald Doom
The Donimator
Donald Douchebag
Donald Drumpf — John Oliver
Donald Drunk
Donald Duck
Donald Duck Doo-Doo
Donald Ducknuke
Donald Dump
Donald the Menace
Donald Tax-Duck — John Joseph Ribovich
Don Goner
Donnie Bratso
Donnie Darko
Donnie Dorko
Donnie Tic Tac
Donny — SNL's Church Lady (Dana Carvey); also his boyhood nickname
Don of Orange
Douchebag von Fuckface — Bill Maher
Drainman — after a Republican consultant explained that healthcare legislation is "clogging the drain" and needs to be expedited by Trump & Co.
The DREAMcrusher
Dr. Strangelove
D.U.D. ― Michael R. Burch (for "Dangerously Unhinged" Donald, based on a quote by Glenn "Emotional Fescue" Beck)
Duke Nuke 'Em
Dumbo — Grace Taylor
The Dumpster — Pun on Trumpster and the "Dump Trump" slogan
Ego Maniac
The Emperor with no Balls — Graffiti found on naked statues of Trump
The Emperor with no Clothes
Evil — Gloria Reed
Failed Mail-Order Meat Salesman — Ashley Feinberg, sticking a satiric fork in Trump Steaks
The Fanta Fascist
Fascist Carnival Barker — Martin O'Malley
Fat Blabby — Lewis Black
Fatso Bratso ― Michael R. Burch
Fearmonger-in-Chief ― Rolling Stone
The Feeb — George F. Will ("a feeble president")
Felonious Punk ― Michael R. Burch
Feral Shouting Meatball Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
Field Marshall Trump
Fifth Avenue Fraud
Fifth Avenue Freeze-Out (for trying to deny vets the right to street vend on Fifth Avenue)
Financially Embattled Thousandaire — Gail Collins
Flat Top — Trump's boyhood nickname
Flip Flopper
The Fomentor — Trevor Noah
The Fomentalist
Forrest Trump
The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse (after George W. Bush, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann)
Foxymoron ― Michael R. Burch
Fragile Soul — Ted Cruz
Fraud — Bernie Sanders
The Fraud-U-Lent President
Frisky Frisker — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Fruit of the Loom — for oddly looming over Hillary Clinton at the second presidential debate
Fuckface von Clownstick — Jon Stewart
The Gender Blender
The Gender Defender
Genghis Can't — Michael R. Burch
Genghis Cant
— Michael R. Burch (because unlike Genghis Khan, the Donald can't rule the world, making his promises mere cant)
Genghis Con — Michael R. Burch
Gentle Donald — Ted Cruz
The Germinator (Trump hates to shake hands, fearing germs)
The Ginger Genuflector — Michael R. Burch (after Trump bowed meekly before the King of Saudi Arabia)
The Golden I-Con ("I con 'do it! "I con 'do it! I know I con!")
God — Jay Leno
God-Emperor Trump
God's Gift to Comedy—Jerry Seinfeld
God-Whimperer Trump — Michael R. Burch
Godzilla, with Less Foreign Policy Experience — Stephen Colbert
The Golden Man-Child — Michael R. Burch
Gold Faithful — Michael R. Burch (because Trump worships gold and erupts with anger on a regular basis)
The Gold Flake
Golden Wrecking Ball — Sarah Palin
The Gollygarch — Michael R. Burch (pun on "oligarch" and Trump's wild exaggerations)
The GOP's Unhinged Front-Runner — Robert Schlesinger, managing editor for opinion at U.S. News & World Report
Government Expander — Glen Beck
Gossamer-Skinned Bully — Graydon Carter
Grandpa Fucko — Kyle Bunch
The Great Gropesby — Michael R. Burch
The Great Gutsby — Michael R. Burch
The Great White Dope
Groper Cleave Hand — Michael R. Burch
Grope Dope
Groper-in-Chief — Nicholas Kristof (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Halfwit Tweet Twit
Hair Apparent — pun on Heir Apparent
Hair Furor — pun on Herr Führer
Hair Hitler — pun on Herr Hitler
The Hair-Trigger A$$a$$in ― Michael R. Burch, because Trump will kill off less-fortunate Americans by favoring Wealthcare over Healthcare
Head Twit
Herr Führer Trump
Herr Lugenpresse Dan Rather
Herr Trump
His Sicko-Fancy ― a pun on "sycophancy" after Anthony Scaramucci expressed his amazingly intense love for Trump
Hissy-Fit Hitler Elizabeth Harris Burch aka Ladydragyn
Hissy-Fit Hypocrite
The Human Abortion ― Mike Fernandez, a billionaire GOP mega-donor
The Human Amplifier
The Human Combover
The Human Corncob — Erin L. Cody
The Human Bullhorn — Jim Newell in Slate
Human-Toupee Hybrid — Stephen Colbert
Humble — Donald Trump's ironic choice when asked to provide a Secret Service codename
Humble Trump — a nickname given to Donald Trump by his son Eric Trump aka "Eric the Red"
The Hunchback of Notre Shame — Michael R. Burch
Hurricane Donald ― Jeff Singer
Hypocritic Oaf — Michael R. Burch
Immigrant-Bashing Carnival Barker — Martin O'Malley
In-Vet-Irate Liar — for claiming to "support" vets while trying to sweep them from NYC streets
The ISIS Candidate
Jack the Gripper — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Job Security (for Comedians) ― Jimmy Kimmel
Keeper of the Golden Commode ― Michael R. Burch
Kelly's Zero (pun on [Megyn] Kelly's Heroes)
Killer Klown
King of Debt
King of Queens
King Leer
King of Sleaze
King of Spin
King of the WhoppersUSA Today, Christmas Day, 2015
King Trump
King Tut — Because his insults make billions of people go "Tut, tut, tut!"
King Twit
K-Mart Caesar
Lady Fingers Trump — Don C. Reed (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
The Lamé Duck President — after a friend of General John F. Kelly said that he wouldn't suffer "idiots and fools" in the White House
Sir Leakalot ― Michael R. Burch
Lenin's Gremlin — Michael R. Burch
Le Petit Prince Daisyfingers — Michael R. Burch
Little Donnie Diaperpants ― Michael R. Burch
Liddle Donnie Ladydiddler — Michael R. Burch
Loosin' Donald — Ted Cruz
Lord Dampnut — anagram
Lord Voldemort — Rosie O'Donnell
The Lowlife
The Low Light
The Lowest Common Dominator ― Michael R. Burch
Machado Meltdown — Hillary Clinton
The Madness of King Gorge ― Michael R. Burch
The Mad Shambler
Maladroit Savage Spiraling Out of Control — Charles M. Blow
Man-Baby — Jon Stewart
The Mandarin Candidate
Mango Mussolini
Master Debater
Meathead — John Joseph Ribovich
Mein Furor — Murfster35 on DailyKos
Melania's Burden — Vanity Fair
The Michelangelo of Ballyhoo — David Von Drehle in his TIME cover article on Trump
John Miller — Donald Trump (a pseudonym he used to brag about his exploits in the third person)
Mogul — his Secret Service code name
Moneydiaper McStupid — Nick Musgrave
Mr. Brexit — Donald Trump
Mr. Chickenhawk — Trump's a coward who portrays himself as a war hawk
Mr. Firepants
Mr. Inappropriate
Mr. Boinker Oinker
Mr. Macho — Bernie Sanders (who perhaps gave the lily-livered draft dodger too much credit)
Mr. Trickle Down ― Michael R. Burch
The Man of Steal (made in China) — after Hillary Clinton pointed out that Trump hotels have been built with illegally-imported Chinese steel
Mr. Meticulous — Trump's military academy nickname, given because he folded his underwear into neat squares
Mr. Wiggy Piggy — Michael R. Burch (because he's such a male chauvinist pig, and that hair!)
Mussolini's Taint — Kyle Bunch
Narcissistic Human Airhorn — Chris Hardwick
The New Furor — Pun on Führer
New York Dork
New York Pork Dork — Michael R. Burch (because Trump's companies have feasted on government subsidies and tax breaks)
No More Donald — Elizabeth Warren
Octopussy Groper
Ole King Coal — Michael R. Burch
Optimus Grime — Michael R. Burch
Orange Anus — Rosie O'Donnell
Orange Bozo
Orange Caligula — Victoria
Orange Clown
Orange Crush
Orange Julius — A pun on the fruit drink chain (emphasis on fruit) and Julius Caesar
Orange Man
Orange Manatee — Stephen Colbert
Orange Moron
Orange Oligarch
Orange Slug — Rosie O'Donnell
Orange-Tufted A$$hole
Orange-Tufted War Troll — Michael R. Burch
Orange-Vanilla ISIS — Michael R. Burch
Pander Bear
Pander Hair — Elizabeth Harris Burch
Party Pooper — Trump poops on his own party
Peripatetic Political Showman — The Fiscal Times
Persimmon Satan — Michael R. Burch
Persimmon Satyr — Michael R. Burch
Pile of Old Garbage Covered in Vodka Sauce — Trevor Noah
The Puerile Sophomoric Sniveler — Charles M. Blow
Pig Donald — a variation of Big Donald, coined by Marco Rubio then adapted by feminists
Political Gutterball — Michael R. Burch
Poor Donald — Hillary Clinton
Poster Child of American Decline — Robert Spencer
POTUS WRECKS — Michael R. Burch
The Predictable Endpoint of Republicanism — Charles M. Blow
President Blabbermouth
President Gold Man Sucks
The Presumptuous Nominee — Hillary Clinton
Prima Donald
Prima Donna
Primate Donald
Pudgy McTrumpcake
Puffed Up Daddy
Putin's Bitch
Putin's C*ck-Holster — Stephen Colbert
Putin's Gambit — Michael R. Burch
Putin's Lapdog
Putin's Pet
Putin's Poppet ― Michael R. Burch
Putin's Puppet
Putin's Rasputin
Putin's Useful Idiot
Quasi-Dodo ― Michael R. Burch
Queens' Reich — Trump hails from Queens and sounds like the second coming of the Third Reich
Rabble-Rousing Demagogue — John Cassidy
Republican Rapture Inducer

Riptide of RegressionDan Rather
Ronald McDonald Trump-Bozo — Michael R. Burch
The Russian Mole
The Scattershot Autocrat
Screaming Carrot Demon — Samantha Bee
Scrooge Grinch McGrump — Michael R. Burch
Scrooge McTrump
Semi-Sentient Bag of Farts
The Serial Feeler — pun on "serial killer" (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
The Serial Liar
Shark Dressed Man-Boy — Michael R. Burch
The Shillsbury Doughboy — Michael R. Burch
Silver Spoon Donald — Don C. Reed
The Silver Spoon Scion — Charles M. Blow
Sir Pissalot ― Michael R. Burch
Sir Pissypanties ― Michael R. Burch
Sir Sissypants
Snake Oil Salesman — Rosie O'Donnell
Sniffles — after Trump sniffled like a cocaine addict during a debate
The So-Called President — LeBron James
Sociopathic 70-Year-Old Toddler — Samantha Bee
The Son King (Trump's father made him rich; pun on "Sun King")
The Shun King
The Stun King
Sparkly Princess Trumpelina — Michael R. Burch
The Spin King

The Spinster and The Sinister Spinster — Michael R. Burch
Stalin's Paladin
Stuporman — Michael R. Burch
Super Callous Fragile Racist Extra Braggadocios
The Surreal Donald Trump
Talking Yam
Tan Dump Lord — anagram
Tanning Bed Warning Label
Tangerine Jesus
Tangerine Tornado — SNL's Church Lady (Dana Carvey)
Teflon Don — Michael R. Burch
TelePrompTer Trump — Mark Sumner
Terminator Trump
Terroristic Man-Toddler — Charles M. Blow
Thin Skinned Orange Peel
Thinskinned Skinflint ― Michael R. Burch
Tic-Tac-Dough — Michael R. Burch
Tic-Tacky Trump
Timid Trumpster
The Tin-Pot Despot — Nicholas Kristof
The Tiny Fisted Emperor — Murfster35
Tiny Hands Trump
The Transgender Rearender ― Michael R. Burch
Toxic Fungi ― Charles M. Blow
Transender Trump (Trump transcends decency by making himself the ender of equality for transgenders)
Tricky Trump
Tricky Don Trump — after Tricky Dick Nixon
Trotsky's Triumph
Trumparius — Nate Silver
Trump Card
The Trumpet — Trump's boyhood nickname
Trump of Doom — Michael R. Burch (first used in a Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
Trumpdozer — TIME Magazine
Trumpelstiltskin — Joy Behar
Drumpfilstiltzken — Tyler Schmall
Trumpling Dildo
Trumpocalypse — Markos Moulitsas
Trumptastrophe — Chris McKay
Truthophobic Trump — Elizabeth Harris Burch
Tsar Ridickulous — by Michael R. Burch (a pun on Tsar Nicholas)
Tsarzan — by Michael R. Burch (first used on Facebook and in a Tweet on July 16, 2017)
Twat Twit
Tweet Twit

Tweety Blurred — Michael R. Burch
Twinkiefingers Trump
Twinklefingers Trump
Twitter-Drunk Donald — a Bush aide
The Twitter Flitterbug
The Twitter Flitterer
The Twitter Spitter
The Twitter Terror — Michael R. Burch
Two-Bit Caesar — Bill Kristol
UNA (Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole) — Jon Stewart
The UNA Bomber
The Unprecedented President
Unreality King
Vanilla ISIS
Venom-Drenched Regurgitated Slimy Orange Hairball
The Vet Evictor — For staging a benefit for veterans after trying to sweep them from NYC streets for more than a decade
The Viagra Dough Boy
Voldemort ― Rosie O'Donnell
Walking Punchline
Walking Talking Human Combover — Michael R. Burch
Weak Donald — Trevor Noah
The Wear Wolf of Wall Bleat — Michael R. Burch
The West Wing-Nut — Michael R. Burch
Whiny Little Bitch — Bill Maher
The White Kanye ― Bill Maher
Widdle Donnie Diaperpants ― Michael R. Burch
The Winning Whiner — Trump "wins" by whining
World's Greatest Troll — FiveThirtyEight
The Wrath of Con — Michael R. Burch
Xenophobic Sweet Potato Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
YUGE Asshole
The Zen Master of Hate
The Zookeeper ― That's quite a menagerie Trump's keeping in the White House!
The Zodiac Biller ― Michael R. Burch (Trump and his father overbilled the U.S. government)

Related pages: Famous Nicknames, Donald Trump Nicknames, Melania Trump Nicknames, Jared Kushner Nicknames, Ivanka Trump Nicknames, Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames, Eric Trump Nicknames, Anthony Scaramucci Nicknames, Mitch McConnell Nicknames, Jeff Sessions Nicknames, Steve Bannon Nicknames, Sarah Huckabee Sanders Nicknames, Judge Roy Moore Nicknames, Kellyanne Conway Nicknames, Paul Ryan Nicknames, Hope Hicks Nicknames, Joe Arpaio Nicknames, Stephen Miller Nicknames, Sean Spicer Nicknames, Devin Nunes Nicknames, Michael Cohen Nicknames, Donald Trump Cabinet Nicknames, Trump 45 Nicknames, Ted Cruz Nicknames, Marco Rubio Nicknames, Mitt Romney Nicknames, Collectively Speaking Nicknames, Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?, The Donald Trump Bible, The Best Donald Trump Puns, Donald Trump Limericks, The Best Donald Trump Insults, Fact-Checking Trump, Donald Trump Funny Campaign Slogans and Parodies, Donald Trump Halloween Ideas, Donald Trump Poetry, Donald Trump Inauguration Poetry Donald Trump Curtsy or Bow?, Ten Reasons to "Fire" Donald Trump, Donald Trump Violence Quotes, Trump Trivia, Is there a Republican War on Women?, Conservatives Who Support Gay Marriage, 2016 Republican Debate, Ted Cruz Quotes, The Best Ted Cruz Jokes, The Best Donald Trump Russia Jokes, Trump Christmas, The Wit, Wisdom and Very Impressive Vocabulary of Donald J. Trump, Donald Trump Sexism Timeline/Chronology

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