Donald Trump's Fears: The Things He's Afraid Of
What are the things Donald Trump fears most? What are the things he's afraid of, that terrify him, that make him quake in his Man-Baby boots? Or is Trump as brave as he claims to be? We have done the highly scientific research, and here are the results ...
The picture above―the earliest known image of The Donald―is evidence that he was suckled in Emperor Palpatine's romper room. Trump is the world's biggest man-baby, and man-babies are afraid of many things. Man-Baby Trump is especially afraid of Truth, Democracy and the American Way. But there is one thing he fears even more ...
The Top Ten Things Donald Trump Fears Like the Devil
(10) Donald Trump is afraid of stairs, slopes and heights. There are pictures of him grasping railings and very carefully watching his feet as he ascends and descends.
(9) Donald Trump is afraid of germs. He has admitted being a germophobe. And he's especially afraid of women's cooties, especially Hillary Clinton's!
(8) Donald Trump is afraid of food, except McDonald's Big Macs. He must think the "special sauce" will kill all the germs!
(7) Donald Trump is terrified of eagles. Especially bald eagles. Do they remind him of a certain hairless part of his anatomy, perhaps?
(6) Donald Trump is terrified of sharks. He even told porn star Stormy Daniels that he will NEVER contribute to a shark charity!
(5) Donald Trump is terrified of unclean hands. He hates to shake hands because hands have a habit of picking up germs. Especially nasty women germs!
(4) Donald Trump is terrified of women's body fluids. Especially Megyn Kelly's and Hillary Clinton's body fluids. But also breast milk and pee in general.
(3) Donald Trump is terrified of Truth. Especially journalists who tell the truth about his lack of character, knowledge and competence.
(2) Donald Trump is terrified of Democracy and the American Way. Thus, he is doing everything he can to turn the US into a Banana Republic.
(1) Donald Trump is absolutely terrified of blood ...
Cadet Bone Spurs told Howard Stern that he flees immediately at the sight of blood: "If you cut your finger and there's blood pouring out, I'm gone." To demonstrate how intensely he detests and fears blood, Trump recounted turning his back on an elderly man who had fallen and appeared to be dying. Rather than signaling for medics, Trump complained loudly that the man's "disgusting" blood was staining Mar-a-Lago's immaculate marble floors! Incredibly, Trump later claimed that he would have rushed into a bloody hallway to confront a madman armed with an AR-15. I think Trump is clearly delusional, but let's give him the benefit of the doubt. His new superhero name is The Incredible Bulk. You won't like him when he's angry, and he's always angry, except when he's giddy with delusions about his awesomeness.
Other things Donald is afraid of: (1) serving his country, (2) paying those very scary taxes, (3) telling the NRA to keep its blood money, (4) Robert Mueller, (5) the FBI, (6) Hillary Rodham Clinton, (7) Barack Obama, (8) Vladimir Putin, (9) asking women for permission to kiss and touch them, (10) common decency, (11) admitting he's bald, (12) admitting that he's not a self-made man but inherited millions of dollars, (13) admitting he's been bankrupt more times than the world's worst Monopoly player, (14) admitting that he's not a Christian, has never read the Bible, and thinks Jesus Christ is "not a hero" but a "loser" because he died penniless with only the clothes on his back, (15) African Americans, Hispanics, Muslims and other minorities, (16) feminists and other independent-minded women, (17) women with the sense and good taste to tell him "No!"
Donald Trump is now ahead of Hillary Clinton in the polls. This was just reported in The Washington Post, and 2,000 years ago in the Book of Revelation.―Conan O'Brien
Let's get this straight: Trump releases the Nunes memo and the stock market immediately crashes 666 points. The federal budget deficit Trump's first fiscal year was 666 billion dollars. His family owns 666 Fifth Avenue, a street symbolic of money (Mammon). The Trump Tower is 203 meters tall, or 666 feet high. On the Ides of March, he had 666 delegates. Trump was born on a blood moon. His ancestor who started the family business died on 6-6-6. Her name was Elizabeth Christ Trump. Elizabeth means "oath" so her name can be interpreted as "oath for Christ to be trumped." Is it just me, or are we living in a real-life Omen movie?
Trump plans to boost his increasingly fragile psyche by having tanks roll down Pennsylvania Avenue in a third-world-ish military parade, so call him the Banana Republican. As for people who support Trump despite his obvious unfitness for duty, just call those Republicans plain Bananas.
The Top Ten Donald Trump Nicknames
(#1) THE ANTICHRIST when the prophets spoke of the "Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking literally? (For a YUGE slew of 666 connections, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
(#2) Short-Fingered Vulgarian by Graydon Carter (a nickname Trump hates because he thinks it implies that he is under-endowed "down there")
(#3) Agent Orange by Anonymous (a lethal product of deMonsanto and DonSatan)
(#4) Golden Wrecking Ball by Sarah Palin (who was not trying to be funny, but ended up being all too accurate ... so sad!)
(#5) Fuckface von Clownstick, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole (the UNAbomber?) by Jon Stewart
(#6) The White Kanye ― by Bill Maher (or is Trump more accurately the Yellow-ish-Orange Kanye?)
(#7) Lord Voldemort, Orange Anus and Snake Oil Salesman by Rosie O'Donnell
(#8) The Trump of Doom by Michael R. Burch (adopted from the Bible and first used in a possibly prophetic Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
(#9) The White Pride Piper Trump is the poster boy for the "Make AmeriKKKa Grate Again" movement of white supremacists, neo-nazis and skinheads
(#10) Man-Baby by Jon Stewart (this one inspired an avalanche of jokes and similar nicknames; for instance, Robert De Niro called Trump "our Baby-in-Chief")
Donald Trump: Man-Baby-in-Chief
He' a Man-Baby. He has the physical countenance of a man, and a baby's temperament and tiny hands.―Jon Stewart
Even George Orwell could not have foreseen the rise of Big Baby Brother.Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"
Q: What do you call it when a Man-Baby takes over the American government?
A: Coup d'Tot!