Eric Trump Nicknames
Eric Trump Jokes
Eric Trump Quotes
This page contains the best Eric Trump nicknames that I have been able to find—such as Eric the Red, Eric the Brain Dead, and Draco Malfoy—plus a few that I came up with myself such as Eric the Shred, the Poster Boy for Abused Ventriloquist Dummies, and the Stupor Genius (the latter after Eric claimed to be a "super genius" like his father). Eric Trump nicknames and jokes have been coined by Stephen Colbert, Kathy Griffin, Allan Ishac, Stephen King, Bill Maher and Michael Wolff. There are also Lara Trump nicknames.
Eric Trump aka Draco Malfoy, the Cold One
Top Ten Eric Trump Nicknames ... Oh Hell, Make it a Baker's Dozen plus a Few
Eric the Red
Eric the Shred (Michael R. Burch)
Eric the Brain Dead
Eric of Orange (Erich L'Orange)
Eric Idle and Eric Sidle
Choad (his high school nickname, slang for penis)
Choad the Toad
Qusay (Trump insiders, per Michael Wolff)
Odo (short for Malodorous)
Date Rape (Kathy Griffin)
The dullest knife in the Republican drawer (Stephen Colbert)
The Stupor Genius (Michael R. Burch)
Sonny Corleone and Sonny-Boy
Short Bus, Douchebag von Fuckface and Thurston Shitbag the Third (Bill Maher)
Eric the Hysteric
Eric the Cleric
The Dread Naught (Michael R. Burch)
Chip Off the Old Blockhead II (his brother Donald Trump Jr. is the first)
Dumber (to his elder brother's Dumb)
Poster Boy for Abused Ventriloquist Dummies (Michael R. Burch)
Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber (with his brother Donnie Dunce Junior)
Top Ten Lara Trump Nicknames
The Senseless Socialite
The Blonde Bombshill
Eric Trump Coronavirus Nicknames
For his multitudinous efforts on its behalf, the coronavirus has granted Eric Trump the following titles and epaulets:
The Coronavirus's Best Friend
Coronavirus in Pallid Semi-Human Form
The Human-COVID Hybrid
The COVID Hominid
The Covid Kid
The Hyper Ventilator
Eric Trump called himself a "super genius" for telling Americans to buy stocks just before the coronavirus pandemic destroyed the economy. Stupor Genius seems to suit him much better! Unfortunately, or perhaps very fortunately, Eric has not been allowed to speak publicly since! But when he did, it was a real WHOPPER, as we will see immediately below ...
Eric "the Lie Derrick" Trump
The Human Sump Pump (or, more accurately, The Semi-Human Sump Pump)
Eric the Brain Dead
Eric Trump reemerged insisting that the coronavirus pandemic is a political hoax: "They will milk it every single day between now and November 3rd and, guess what, after November 3rd, coronavirus will magically all of a sudden go away and disappear and everybody will be able to reopen!" Yeah, right, Brainiac 666. You've got it all figured out, by listening to and swallowing your father's lies! At the time Brain Drain Eric said this, the US had over 1.5 million confirmed coronavirus cases, with over 89,000 confirmed coronavirus deaths, and many more unconfirmed due to chronic shortages of tests. There were more than 36 million unemployed Americans, a figure that threatens the nation and the world with another Great Depression. No, Eric the Brain Dead, there is no "hoax" except your family "leading" our country at such a perilous time.―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"
Evangelicals and other Creationists love Eric Trump because he is living proof that human beings did not evolve!
Dishonorable Mention: Junior's Senseless Sidekick (Allan Ishac), The Diddling Dipstick (Allan Ishac), Eric the Unloved, Eric the Loveless, Eric the Unready, Eric the Unsteady, Dunderhead, The Self-Dealer, The Cancer Necromancer (he has been accused of using a children's cancer "charity" to slip money to himself under the table), Marksman (his Secret Service code name), Mr. Alt-Right, Beavis Trump, Butthead Trump, The Kids are Alt-Right, The Big Dame Hunter, The Cold One, Vladimir, Vladula, Vlad Tepish, Vlad Nebish, Unsexy Lestat, Lestat de Lyin' Court, Twilight, Shitty Vampire, The Bloodsucker, The Coldblooded Leech, The Rat Bloodsucker, The Blight Stalker, Comrade Vlad, Lil' Vampire Face, The Draugr, The Vampire Empire, Edward Sullen, Jester Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Witherdale, Caius Volturi, Louis De Pointe Du Lackey, Eric Northsham, Heifer Southerland, Spike, David Booby, Don Slaylock, Mr. Roboto, El Insipid, The Eel, The Eelster, Eric the Boneless
Eric Trump Jokes
Stephen Colbert called Eric Trump the "dullest knife in the Republican drawer."
Will the people of Florida elect Donnie Dunce Junior as their governor?
Will the people of Florida elect ICE Princess Ivanka as their senator?
Will the people of Florida appoint Eric the Shred to be the poster boy for abused ventriloquist dummies?
The answers to these questions are: NO, NO and YES.
—Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"
After Eric Trump claimed to be part of the LGBT community ...
“We, the gay committee, have had an emergency meeting and we have rejected Eric Trump’s application,” journalist Erica Lenti replied.
“I don’t think Eric Trump came out as gay. I think he came out as someone who doesn’t know how to structure a sentence,” actor and writer Michael Creighton wrote.
"Yes, Eric Trump is extraordinarily gay while slaughtering defenseless elephants and leopards, but he remains an island of ignorance and thus not part of any community." — Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"
Eric Trump Quotes
"We have all the funding we need out of Russia." — Eric Trump
"Where are Republicans! Have some backbone. Fight against this fraud. Our voters will never forget you if your [sic] sheep!" — Eric Trump tweet
"Any senator or any congressman on this side that does not fight tomorrow, I’m telling you will not, their political career is over because the MAGA movement is going nowhere." — Eric Trump predicts that the MAGA movement is doomed
Eric Trump claimed that his father "literally saved Christianity" during a radio show interview in North Dakota. That might come as a surprise to God Almighty.
Eric Trump claimed that "95% of this country" was behind his father's attacks on four minority congresswomen, when only 57% of his own party agreed and 68% of Americans disagreed. That evening Stephen Colbert mockingly mimicked Eric: "95 percent is behind my dad, OK? You better check my math!" Later, Stephen King asked, "The armbands come next right?"
The Gaud Father and Sons
White House insiders have been calling the president Don Corleone and Dumb Corleone because of his mob boss mentality. His oldest son Donald Trump Jr. is Fredo (the dumb son who keeps shooting himself in the foot), while Ivanka is Michael (the smart one). There is no doubt that Ivanka is the Godfather's favorite, since he gave her a position in his administration along with her husband Little Lord Fauntleroy. But if Junior is Fredo, wouldn't that make Senior another Fredo? Better call Puffed Up Daddy and his eldest son Dumb and Dumber! But where does this name game leave Eric Trump, a Chip Off The Old Blockhead who may be the dumbest of them all? Is Eric too dumb to be promoted to Sonny? They seem to be a trio of Fredos, so call them the All Fredos or Alfredos for short! But let's not rush to judgment: Bill Maher has compared the Trump brothers to another ill-begotten duo: Uday and Qusay Hussein. That would make their father So Damn Insane, and it certainly seems to suit him.
"Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets," Donald "Ponyboy" Trump Jr. told a real estate conference in 2008, "We see a lot of money pouring in from Russia." In 2014, when golf writer James Dodson asked Eric "the Red" Trump how his father could finance golf courses when American banks were declining to lend money against such assets, he answered: "We don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia." So when Trump Sr. claims to have "no dealings" with Russia, he is obviously lying. And Trump Jr. made the purpose of his treasonous Trump Tower meeting with Russian agents crystal-clear when he informed Jared "Jarhead" Kushner and Paul "Mole" Manafort about the covert operation in an email with the subject heading: "Russia – Clinton – private and confidential." Folks, it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes or IBM's Watson to figure this one out!
The Top Ten Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames
Junior and Donald Dunce Jr.
Son of Drumpf
Donald Drumpkopf the Lesser
The Good Boy (Donald Trump Sr.)
The Boy Blunder and Booby
Chip Off the Old Blockhead
Take your pick: Putin's Puppet / Puppy / Proxy / Protégé / Poodle / Lapdog
Fredo Corleone and Frito Corleone and Fraido (because like Fredo he's afraid of his father)
The Bedwetter and Diaper Don (because in college he would get drunk, pass out and wet the bed)
Dishonorable Mention: Little Donnie Diaperpants, Little Donnie Diaperwetter, Public Drunk, The Cheapest Gazillionaire Heirhead (People Magazine, after Junior proposed to Vanessa Haydon with a free ring), The Airhead,
The Bedhead, Mr. Brylcream, Unbonny Donnie and Nondescript Donnie (because Ivanka got all the attention), Groper Jr. and Junior Abuser (he came on to women so strong at frat parties "everyone was warned to stay away from Donnie Trump"), The Great White Hunter (he even posed for a picture holding a severed elephant's tail!), The Gushin' Russian
Please click here for all Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames
Marco Roboto hugs the First-Lady-Daughter ... talk about uncomfortable!
The Top Ten Ivanka Trump Nicknames
Ivanka Wanker (I Wanna Wank Her)
Ivanka Spanker (I Wanna Spank Her)
Nordic Goddess and The Norwegian Wood Inducer
Trophy Daughter and The First Lady-Daughter
Kushner's Crush and Kushner's Cush Toy
The Favorite and The Hot One
The Smart One and Michael (after Michael Corleone, "the smart one" in the Godfather movies)
Please click here for all Ivanka Trump Nicknames
Have no fear, Acting President Jared Kushner is here! Cushy Kushner makes all the major decisions while Truant Trump tweets, poses for photo-ops, gropes women's genitals, sentences babies and grannies to death, cheats at golf, then brags about his "accomplishments" and campaigns for reelection.
We can all breathe a sigh of relief because Jarhead Kushner is at the ISIS front, using his real-estate negotiation skills to counsel our enemies and console our troops! Trump's youthful Aide de Kampf will never rest until WWIII is well underway, and completely irreversible. There will soon be a remake of Full Metal Jacket starring Jarring Kushner in Full Dinner Jacket (and Tie). Little Lord Fauntleroy will also star in Ralph Lauren of Arabia, The Shilling Fields, PeeWee's Big Adventure and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner then Whines about the K-Rations.
The Top Ten Jared Kushner Nicknames
Ralph Lauren of Arabia (@ChannelTrump)
Cushy Kushner and Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin on SNL)
Aide de Kampf (Michael R. Burch)
Acting President Kushner
Coup D'Tot (Michael R. Burch)
Little Lord Fauntleroy (Duratti on Daily Kos)
The Easebroker (expecting Jared Kusher to produce peace in the Middle East is like believing in the Tooth Fairy!)
Dishonorable Mention: Putin's American Viceroy, Putin's American Vice-Boy, Putin's Cush-Toy, Putin's Puppet, Putin's Poppet, Putin's Proxy, Comrade Kushner, The Air (Steve Bannon, because Kushner glides in and out like a puff of air), The Secretary of Everything (his White House nickname), Madame Secretary, Jared the Pallid, The Paladin, Jared the Unready, Fully Transparent Boy (he claimed to be "fully transparent" on Russia.), Poor Little Rich Bitch, Little Jared (Ana Navarro), Baby Boy (Ana Navarro), Jarhead, Jarred Jared, Jarring Kushner, The Boy Blunder, Nimrod (Nimrod, the son of Kush, was the founder of Babylon), Son of Babylon (the name Jared means "descent" so he is the "Son of Kush," the patriarch of Babylon), The Crown Prince of Babble-On, Lucifer Incarnate, Channel 666 (Jared Kushner and his wife Ivanka Trump own 666 Fifth Avenue, purchased for $1.8 billion or 6+6+6 billion), The Neophyte, Complete Fucking Idiot (Samantha Bee), The Piece Broker, The Piss Broker
Please click here for all Jared Kushner Nicknames
The Top Ten Donald Trump Nicknames
(#1) Number one, with a bullet: THE ANTICHRIST — by God and the Hebrew prophets — when they spoke of "the Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking literally? (For a YUGE slew of 666 connections, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
(#2) Short-Fingered Vulgarian — by Graydon Carter
(#3) Agent Orange — by Anonymous (not sure if it was coined by the hacker group Anonymous, but this is one of my all-time favorites)
(#4) Golden Wrecking Ball — by Sarah Palin (who was not trying to be funny, but ended up being all too accurate ... so sad!)
(#5) Fuckface von Clownstick, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole (the UNAbomber?) — by Jon Stewart
(#6) The White Kanye ― by Bill Maher (or is Trump more accurately the Yellow-ish-Orange Kanye?)
(#7) Lord Voldemort, Orange Anus and Snake Oil Salesman — by Rosie O'Donnell
(#8) The Trump of Doom — by Michael R. Burch (adopted from the Bible and first used in a possibly prophetic Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
(#9) Thurston Shitbag the Third — by Bill Maher
(#10) Man-Baby — by Jon Stewart ... this one inspired a slew of jokes and similar nicknames ...
Please click here for all Donald Trump Nicknames
Q: What do you call it when a Man-Baby takes over the American government?
A: Coup d'Tot!