The HyperTexts

Ivanka Trump Nicknames, Jokes and Quotes

This page contains the best Ivanka Trump nicknames, jokes and quotes that I have been able to find, plus a few that I came up with myself. Ivanka Trump nicknames have been coined by Steve Bannon, Stephen Colbert, Rachel Dodes, Emily Jane Fox, Jimmy Kimmel, Bill Maher, Dame Helen Mirren, Trevor Noah, Rosie O'Donnell, Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, Howard Stern, Donald Trump, Melania Trump and Vanity Fair.

Donald Trump's reelection campaign is in trouble, and everyone knows it. But Don the Con has a new reelection strategy. He will knock off Mike Pence, Jared Kushner and Melania, then marry Ivanka and make her the First-Lady-Daughter (V)ICE President. Ivanka will be in charge of both ICE and VICE, hence the revised job title. Trump will ride his daughter's good looks to a second term as Con-in-Chief. And she'll spend a lot of time sitting in his lap, just like the good old days. Problem solved!

The Top Ten Ivanka Trump Nicknames, Plus a Few

Ivanka Tramp
Proxy Wife
The Foxy Proxy
Ivanka the Terrible (a pun on "Ivan the Terrible")
The First Daughter (Ivanka Herself) and The First Lady-Daughter

Ivanka Trump, when told she was a “staffer” by Steve Bannon reportedly said: “I’m not a staffer! I’ll never be a staffer. I’m the First Daughter and I’m never going to be a staffer!”

There's a new movie coming out: The Unbearable Whiteness of Being Ivanka Trump. Ivanka is so white her new dog is called Winter!

Trophy Daughter
Baby (Donald Trump)
Shady Baby
Daughter Gate and Daughter Grate

Your kids may be all right, but Trump's kids are ALT-right and will never say boo about his racism, chauvinism, homophobia or xenophobic border wall.

Acting VICE President (emphasis on "vice")
Little Miss Sedition

(V)ICE Princess Ivanka called the mob that attacked our nation's capitol building "American Patriots." Just imagine what she would have called them if they had been BLM or Antifa protesters. Shots were fired during a joint session of Congress; five people were left dead and more than a hundred police officers injured. Why are Daddy Trump and Trophy Daughter Trump so very different in their responses when rioters have lighter-colored skin?

ICE Princess Ivanka
Princess MAGA the Grate
Princess Royal (her nickname at the White House, according to insiders)
Princess (according to insiders, Melania called Ivanka "Princess" and Ivanka called Melania "The Portrait")
Princess Purses (Vanity Fair)
Kardashian with an Ambassadorship (Emily Jane Fox, writing for Vanity Fair)
Snake (Melania reportedly called Ivanka a “snake” in a text to her former best friend, Stephanie Winston Wolkoff)
Princess Cobra
The Viperess
The Schadenfreud
Her Irredeemable Awfulness (Aldous J. Pennyfarthing)

ICE Princess Ivanka's BFF for a decade, Lysandra Ohrstrom, relates: "Ivanka always solicited book suggestions from me, and I had recently recommended Empire Falls, Richard Russo’s 2001 Pulitzer Prize-winning novel about the life of a diner manager in a working-class community in Maine. 'Ly, why would you tell me to read a book about fucking poor people?' I remember Ivanka saying. 'What part of you thinks I would be interested in this?'"

The Outcast (Emily Jane Fox, writing for Vanity Fair)
MAGA NON GRATA (Emily Jane Fox, writing for Vanity Fair)

"Whether they head for the backwater luxury of New Jersey, the towering gilt of Park Avenue, or a $30 million Florida plot, Jared and Ivanka will reenter society as outcasts." — MAGA NON GRATA, Vanity Fair

Ivanka Wanker (I Wanna Wank Her)
Ivanka Spanker (I Wanna Spank Her)
Chip Off the Old Blockhead

Lysandra Ohrstrom also relates: "But in private, rougher, more Trumpian edges still occasionally poked out. Ivanka would regularly relay stories of teachers or observers who had commented that she had the most innate talent they had ever seen for whatever new pursuit she was taking up. She never wore a Halloween costume that wasn’t flattering, which means she usually showed up at costume parties looking beautiful and boring. She always stopped at McDonald’s for cheeseburgers. She cursed. And of course, she had the Trump radar for status, money, and power, and her dad’s instinct to throw others under the bus to save herself."

Ivanka Antoinette ("Let them eat coronavirus!")
Ivanka the Terrible
Ivanka the Grate (Michael R. Burch)
The Red Queen ("Off with their heads!")

Lysandra Ohrstrom again: "Predictably, as she began moving with the real power brokers of the world, Ivanka became increasingly certain that she and the rest of the capitalist elite had better solutions to the plight of America’s struggling working class than elected officials and the creaky bureaucracies they presided over. But aligning herself with her dad’s banana republic-style administration made no sense to me, until my friend suggested that Ivanka took her kids to the rally to show them that they are American royalty. This explanation seemed most plausible. What is more royal than presiding over subjects that you disdain?"

The Nordic Goddess and The Norwegian Wood Inducer
The Perfect Hanger (as a model she had the perfect body for hanging clothes) and Model, Inc.
Gormless Glamorpuss (Michael R. Burch)
Fount of Bad Advice (Steve Bannon, who also said that Donald Trump was like an 11-year-old child)
Nepotism Barbie
Donald Trump's Barbie Moll
Breast Implant Barbie
Nipples, Nip and Nippy

If Ivanka Trump runs for president in 2024, she will be the first American presidential candidate to have regularly revealed her nipples to American voters. Apparently Ivanka prefers bras with sheer cups that allow the impressions of her nipples to be seen, or she frequently forgoes wearing bras.

Marco Roboto hugs the First-Lady-Daughter ... talk about uncomfortable!

Make it the Top Twenty-Five Ivanka Trump Nicknames

Piece of Ass (her father Donald Trump, to Howard Stern)
Hot (Donald Trump) and Date Material (Donald Trump)
Daddy's Little Lapsitter
Trump's Daughter-Wife (Bill Maher)
The Favorite
The Hot One and The Cold One
The Icemaiden and The Vicemaiden
First Babe, the Real First Lady and the Surreal First Lady
The Queen of Leaks (Steve Bannon)
Glamorpuss and The Blonde Bomb Shill (Michael R. Burch)
Miss Ameri-Con and Miss Shamerica
Boobilicious and Boobs of Steal
No Bastion of Virtue (Vogue) and The Vague Covergirl
Brooklyn Barbie
Crooklyn Barbie
Villainous Barbie (Vanity Fair)
The Smart One and Michael (after Michael Corleone, "the smart one" in the Godfather movies)
Out-of-Touch Fluff and Miss Insubstantial (Dame Helen Mirren in People)

Ivanka Trump Coronavirus Nicknames

Princess Covidia
Princess Corona
Limited Edition Covid Barbie
ICE Princess Ivanka
Imperial Ivanka (emphasis on "imp")
The Covid Kid
Kid Corona
The Stupor Genius (Michael R. Burch)

The Trumps have claimed to be "super geniuses" but were encouraging Americans to buy stocks during the coronavirus pandemic, so Stupor Genius seems more accurate. Ivanka tested negative for the coronavirus, which declined to infect Princess Corona out of professional courtesy, after the Trumps declined to offer unoccupied hotel rooms to coronavirus first responders. The White House twitter account praised other hotels for quartering healthcare workers and first responders, but the Imperial Trumps have declined to do the same, once again "leading" from behind while talking out their a$$e$.

Currently Rising

Daddy's Little Ghoul
Daddy's Dearest
The Stupor Model
Poor Little Rich Bitch

Ivanka claimed that being Donald Trump's daughter is "the hardest job in the world."

Little Miss Priss
Little Miss Supremacist
Poster Girl for White Supremacy
The Human Embodiment of White Privilege (Rachel Dodes of Vanity Fair)
ICE Princess Ivanka
Miss ICE
The ICE Princess
The Vice Princess
Junior Miss Antichrist
Hell's Belle

Apple of Her Father's Eye
Apple of Her Father's Thighs
Apple of Her Father's Sty

Will Trump be yelling and tweeting "Lock her up!" about the apple of his sty, after learning that Ivanka has been using her private email for government business? #LockHerUp #LockUpIvanka

Peace Treaty Barbie (Stephen Colbert)
Hillary Lite (after Ivanka used her private email account to conduct government business)
Sing-Sing (will Ivanka end up in prison for singing state secrets in public?)
Loose Lips Ivanka
The Calm Con Artist (Rachel Dodes)
The Peter Principle in Blonde (Rachel Dodes)
The Trans Sender Sh!email
Miss Social Media

In addition to her emails, federal investigators should examine Ivanka's feemails.

Trump's Senior Ad Vizier (Michael R. Burch, because Ivanka and the Trumps are using the presidency for personal profit)
Peace Treaty Barbie (Ivanka Trump) and Collusion Ken (Jared Kushner)
Dumbshit Barbie and Ken (Rosie O'Donnell)
Out-of-Touch Barbie
Zero Concern Barbie
White House Barbie (Rachel Dodes)
White Privilege Barbie (Rachel Dodes)

Ivanka, the child of privilege who has never had to worry about missing a meal in her life, said she doesn't believe in a guaranteed minimum wage: "I think that this idea of a guaranteed minimum is not something most people want." However, a National Restaurant Association poll revealed that 71% of Americans supported raising the minimum wage, even if it meant paying more money for food.

Kremlin Barbie
Scandinavian Barbie
Broadway Barbie
"a living, breathing Barbie doll" (Cliff Simms)
Unfailingly Polite Barbie (Cliff Simms)
Princess Barbie
Bullshit Barbie
Batshit-Crazy Barbie
Silicon Barbie
Silly-Con Barbie
Limited Edition Gangster Moll Barbie

Domino I

Chris Matthews predicted that Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner will be "the next dominoes to fall."

The Trump Card (the title of her 2009 book)
The Wild Card
The Red Queen ("Off with their heads!")
Russian Red Ivanka

This may be the strangest thing of all about Ivanka Trump. According to Felix Sater, when he took her on a tour of the Kremlin, she actually sat in Putin's chair and spun around twice. Think about that for a second. How does anyone get into Putin's office? How does anyone get to sit in Putin's chair? We can't do that, nor can 99.99% of the world's population. It sounds like collusion on a grand scale.

The Queen of Diamonds
The Grand Collusionist

The Nutcracker (Ivanka's only onstage role was as a dancer in The Nutcracker)

Jennifer Lopez reportedly once remarked, "She's only here because of her daddy."

American Psycho

Ivanka said she found Christian Bale "very attractive" in the movie American Psycho. Did he remind her of daddy?

Bosom Buddies (with Chelsea Clinton)
The Liberal
The Closet Feminist
The Patroness

Ivanka donated money to Hillary Clinton's 2008 campaign. Awkward. 

Princess Ivanta (as in "I vant a crown!")
HRH Ivanka (Her Royal Highness)
Little Miss Apartheid

Ivanka Trump was all smiles in Jerusalem during a photo-op at the new American embassy, while a short distance away Israeli snipers were firing live ammunition into crowds of Palestinian protesters, killing 58 people in a single day and wounding hundreds more. Altogether 101 Palestinians had been murdered and more than 10,000 wounded since the protests began, with more surely to follow.

Nicknames for Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump:
J-Vanka (Cosmopolitan), Javanka (Steve Bannon), Jarvanka, Jiveanka, Jerkvanka, The Royals, The Royal Couple, The Royal Family (Rex Tillerson), The Globalists (Steve Bannon), The Railhead of All Bad Decisions (Steve Bannon), The Surrogates, The Brooklyn Hillbullies, The Children of the Corn, The Swamp Creatures, Creatures from the Orange Lagoon, The Dealmakers, The Developers, The Surrealtors, The Workaholics, The Shirkaholics, Trump's Girlfriends #1 and #2, The Outcasts (Vanity Fair), MAGA NON GRATA (Vanity Fair), Definitional Losers (Vanity Fair), The Blindly Loyal Royals, The New York Narcissists, The Brooklyn Hillbullies, The Polite Society Pariahs

Dishonorable Mention Ivanka Trump Nicknames:
Iva (Jared Kushner's nickname for his wife), Vanilla ISIS, Vanilla Vice-is, Kushner's Crush, Kushner's Cush Toy, Mrs. Kushner, Fifth Avenue Freeze-Out, The Surrogate, Eye Candy, I Candy, The Handmaid, The First Shady Lady, Con-suela, Connie, Clueless Connie, Ofjared, Ofdonald, The Golden Girl Grifter, Marvel (her Secret Service code name), Larval, Belladonald, Orange Widow, Blunder Woman, Bratgirl, Dupergirl, Catty Girl, Hawker Girl, Conagula, Fleur-de-Lay, GoDIVA, Lie Jinx, Bungle Girl, Bangle Girl, Lady Deadfool, Ladyhawker, Shadyhawker, Blightspeed, La Lunatica, Mag-duh-lean, Maiden Injustice, Manshunter, Maximum Deride, Meduser, Miss AmeriKKKa, Mockingturd, Miss Liberty (we will all miss Liberty, thanks to her father), Blightshade, Rainbow Smite, Painmaker, Trampage, Craven, Shadowhawker, Sham-rock, She-Bling, Squirrely Girl, Shun Girl, Bilkyrie, Vague, Hoodoo, Wallflower, Wallpower, The WASP, Web of Deceit Woman, Whirlygirl, The Blight Witch, Wild Bling, The Woman in Russian Red, Zealot, Money-Grubbing Attention Whore, FiDuFUS (First Daughter of the US), Brand Trump, the Brander, The Sacrificial Lamb, The Political Dilettante, Princess Ivanta, Princess Platitude, The Prodigal Daughter, The Lyin' King Tamer, The Lingerie Peddler, The Socialite, The Air-Kisser, The Swamp Mistress, The Feature from the Black Lagoon, Princess Disloyal, Royal Flush, Royal Douche, Ivanka Stank, Brooklyn Barbie, The Ice Princess of Queens, The Cold Con, Dumb as a Brick (Steve Bannon), Fucking Liar (Steve Bannon), The Bitch Is Dead (Steve Bannon), Jewish-American Princess, JAP, Snow White, Ball Buster (Bill Maher), Trump's Real Wife (Michael Wolff), Botlike (Michael Wolff), The Ivanabot, Ms. Roboto, Princess Iwanta-All-The-Time (Allan Ishac)

Ivanka Trump Quotes:

Ivanka Trump called her wedding ring "the hardware."
She said, "I obviously have a great love and appreciation of jewelry, thanks to my mother, much to the dismay of both my father and my boyfriends."
She said a date night with Jared "always involves me looking at one of his development sites."
She said that what she and her husband are really "passionate" about is looking at properties they own.
She said, "Real estate is my life. It is my day job, if you will. But it consumes my nights and weekends, too."
She said, "My greatest passion has [been], and always will be, real estate."
She admitted, "I've never lived in a building without my name on it."
She advocated lying, if it works to your advantage: "Perception is more important than reality. If someone perceives something to be true, it is more important than if it is in fact true. This doesn't mean you should be duplicitous or deceitful, but don't go out of your way to correct a false assumption if it plays to your advantage."

Like father, like daughter. The most important things in life are bling, real estate, and lying one's way to success!

What's up with WhatsApp? Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner are Mr. and Mrs. Risky Business.

Related pages: Donald Trump Nicknames, Melania Trump Nicknames, Jared Kushner Nicknames, Ivanka Trump Nicknames, Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames, Eric Trump Nicknames, Ted Cruz Nicknames, Kellyanne Conway Nicknames, Mitch McConnell Nicknames, Jeff Sessions Nicknames, Sarah Huckabee Sanders Nicknames, Kellyanne Conway Nicknames, Mike Pence Nicknames, Brett Kavanaugh Nicknames, Paul Ryan Nicknames, Marsha Blackburn Nicknames, Stephen Miller Nicknames, Michael Cohen Nicknames, Matt Whitaker Nicknames, John Kelly Nicknames, Mick Mulvaney Nicknames, Donald Trump Cabinet Nicknames, Trump 45 Nicknames, Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?

Ivanka Trump said there is a "special place in hell" for men like Sludge Roy Moore who prey on children. Did Ivanka just condemn her father to hell, since he bragged to Howard Stern that he barged into the dressing rooms of teenage beauty contestants to ogle them in the nude, because he was the owner of the pageants and could get away with it? There have also been multiple lawsuits filed against Trump by a girl who says he raped her when she was a teenager. And there are some very disturbing pictures of Trump with a young Ivanka perched in his lap. Trump has said more that once that he'd like to "date" his daughter, and we all know what happens to girls who date Trump.

Damien Trump and his Stepford Wives meet Pope Francis, who is obviously uncomfortable in the presence of such Darkness and angles his cross slightly to keep them at bay!

Trump Family Nicknames ...

The Stepfordians
The KKKardashians
The Brooklyn Hillbullies (Michael R. Burch)
The Addumbs Family
Donald Duck Dynasty
The Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse (Michael R. Burch)
The Cold Ones
The Children of the Corn
Poor Little Bitch Kids
The Bitches of Eastwick

Have no fear, Acting President Jared Kushner is here! Cushy Kushner makes all the major decisions while Truant Trump tweets, poses for photo-ops, gropes women's genitals, sentences babies and grannies to death, cheats at golf, then brags about his "accomplishments" and campaigns for reelection. 

We can all breathe a sigh of relief because Jared "Jarhead" Kushner is at the ISIS front, using his real-estate negotiation skills to counsel our enemies and console our troops! Trump's youthful Aide de Kampf will never rest until WWIII is well underway, and completely irreversible. There will soon be a remake of Full Metal Jacket starring Jarring Kushner in Full Dinner Jacket (and Tie). Little Lord Fauntleroy will also star in Ralph Lauren of Arabia, The Shilling Fields, PeeWee's Big Adventure and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner then Whines about the K-Rations.

The Top Ten Jared Kushner Nicknames (Bolded) ...

Vanilla ISIS
Ralph Lauren of Arabia (@ChannelTrump)
Cushy Kushner and Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin on SNL)
Aide de Kampf (Michael R. Burch)
Putin's Puppet
Putin's Proxy
Putin's Protégé
Comrade Kushner
The Easebroker
Nerd Boy
Jared "the Red" Kushner
Jarring Kushner
The Boy Blunder
Complete Fucking Idiot (Samantha Bee)
Little Lord Fauntleroy (Duratti on Daily Kos)
Nimrod (Nimrod, the son of Kush, was the founder of Babylon)
Son of Babylon
(the name Jared means "descent" so he is the "Son of Kush," the patriarch of Babylon)
The Crown Prince of Babble-On
Lucifer Incarnate
Channel 666 (Jared Kushner and his wife, Ivanka Trump, own the most expensive single building in the U.S. at 666 Fifth Avenue, purchased for $1.8 billion or 6+6+6 billion)

Please click here for all Jared Kushner Nicknames

Damien Trump
and his Stepford Wives meet Pope Francis, who is obviously uncomfortable in the presence of such Darkness and angles his cross slightly to keep them at bay!

Trump family nicknames: The Stepfordians, The KKKardashians, The Brooklyn Hillbullies (Michael R. Burch), Donald Duck Dynasty, Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse (Michael R. Burch), The Cold Ones, Children of the Corn, Poor Little Bitch Kids, The Bitches of Eastwick

Marco Roboto
hugs the First-Lady-Daughter, Ivanka Trump ... talk about uncomfortable!

Related pages: Famous Nicknames, Donald Trump Nicknames, Melania Trump Nicknames, Jared Kushner Nicknames, Ivanka Trump Nicknames, Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames, Eric Trump Nicknames, Mark Meadows Nicknames, Anthony Scaramucci Nicknames, Mitch McConnell Nicknames, Jeff Sessions Nicknames, Steve Bannon Nicknames, Sarah Huckabee Sanders Nicknames, Judge Roy Moore Nicknames, Kellyanne Conway Nicknames, Paul Ryan Nicknames, Hope Hicks Nicknames, Joe Arpaio Nicknames, Stephen Miller Nicknames, Sean Spicer Nicknames, Devin Nunes Nicknames, Michael Cohen Nicknames, Sam Nunberg Nicknames, Mike Pompeo Nicknames, Mike Pence Nicknames, Marsha Blackburn Nicknames, Diane Black Nicknames, Brett Kavanaugh Nicknames, Matt Whitaker Nicknames, John Kelly Nicknames, Mick Mulvaney Nicknames, James Mattis Nicknames, Ann Coulter Nicknames, Rush Limbaugh Nicknames, Rudy Giuliani Nicknames, Roger Stone Nicknames, William Barr Nicknames, Kayleigh McEnany Nicknames, Tom Cotton Nicknames, Betsy DeVos Nicknames, Ruth Bader Ginsburg Nicknames, Lindsey Graham Nicknames, Donald Trump Cabinet Nicknames, Marco Rubio Nicknames, Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?, The Donald Trump Bible, The Best Donald Trump Puns, The Best Donald Trump Insults, Fact-Checking Trump, Donald Trump Funny Campaign Slogans and Parodies, Donald Trump Halloween Ideas, Donald Trump Poetry, Donald Trump Inauguration Poetry Donald Trump Curtsy or Bow?, Ten Reasons to "Fire" Donald Trump, Donald Trump Violence Quotes, Trump Trivia, Is there a Republican War on Women?, Conservatives Who Support Gay Marriage, 2016 Republican Debate, Ted Cruz Quotes, The Best Ted Cruz Jokes, The Wit, Wisdom and Very Impressive Vocabulary of Donald J. Trump, Trackdown Trump: Did a 1958 TV Show Predict Trump?

The HyperTexts