Is the term "famous morons" the ultimate oxymoron? Perhaps "infamous morons"
would be better; the imbeciles quoted here are certainly prime candidates for
any thinking person's Hall of Shame.
Famous Historical Beauties,
Famous Pool Sharks,
Famous Forgers and Frauds,
The Dumbest Things Ever Said
Famous Morons, Dunces, Dolts, Dullards, Ding-Dongs, Idiots, Ignoramuses,
Imbeciles, Fools, Simpletons, Clods and Blockheads:
Donald J. Trump
Rex Tillerson recently became the Secretary
of Stating the Obvious! The irate Rexit called his
boss an EFFIN' MORON after Big Rocket Man
called for a "nearly tenfold" increase in the US nuclear arsenal. According to
Popular Mechanics, that would cost $15 trillion dollars for
50,000 nukes that can never be used! At nearly four times the entire federal
budget, "it would be the most expensive chest-thumping exercise ever." Yep,
sounds effin' moronic to us! Trump claimed that he didn't call for the increase,
but on December 22, 2016 he tweeted: "The United States must greatly strengthen
and expand its nuclear capability!"
Now the twitterverse is exploding with
hashtags like #moron #morongate and our favorite, the poetic #MoronDon.
Trump has been called a moron and an idiot by everyone in the White House and
even by his own family, according to Michael Wolff, the author of the bestseller
Fire and Fury.
George W. Bush
George "Dubya" Bush was undoubtedly the dumbest American president of all time,
at least before Trump.
His nicknames illustrate how little regard many people had for his intellectual
capabilities: Dubya, Shrub, Bush Junior, Incurious George, Spurious George, and
Bring 'em on!
Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualties!
Afghanistan is the most daring and ambition
mission in the history of NATO. [And the biggest debacle, thanks to you.]
Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction. [Dubya conveniently
forgets that his nation developed thousands of WMDs.]
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop
thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on
This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating. [Do tell.]
I know what I believe.
I will continue to articulate what I believe
and what I believe—I believe what I believe is right.
I just want you to know that,
when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace.
The legislature's job is to write law. It's the executive branch's job to
interpret law. [Shrub Junior obviously never heard of the Supreme Court.]
See, in my line of work
you got to keep repeating things over and over and
for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.
It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our
imports come from overseas.
I'll be long gone
before some smart person
ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.
They misunderestimated me. [Did they, indeed, Incurious George?]
Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter!—Dubya's parting words to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and
French President Nicolas Sarkozy at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and
grinning widely as the two leaders looked on in shock.
You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.
Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning? [Rarely has the
question been asked so badly.]
Then you wake up at the high school level
and find out that the illiteracy
level of our children are appalling. [Do tell!]
Reading is the basics for all learning.
As yesterday's positive report card shows,
childrens do learn
are high and results are measured.
Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country.
I think of Dick Cheney unaffectionately as "the Penguin."
We will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.
With every advance by our coalition forces, the wisdom of [our] plan becomes
Deficits don't matter.
There comes a time when deceit and defiance must be seen for what they are. [We
do see you as you really are, Mr. Penguin!]
Donald Rumsfeld was the U.S. Secretary of Defense who planned and presided over
the invasion of Iraq. Bush Junior called him "Rummy." The nickname seems to fit,
since like Cheney he was a fascist drunk on power, and the use (i.e., abuse) of
I don't do quagmires.
I don’t do body counts.
I can't tell you if the use of force in Iraq today will last five days, five
weeks or five months, but it won't last any longer than that.
Secretary Powell and I agree on every single issue that has ever been before
this administration except for those instances where Colin's still learning.
There are a lot of people who lie and get away with it, and that's just a fact. [Et tu, Brute?]
There are known knowns.
There are things we know that we know.
There are known
That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know.
are also unknown unknowns.
There are things we don't know we don't know.
—Donald Rumsfeld waxing poetic
Michele Bachmann promised to close the American embassy in Iran if
elected president. That would be a neat trick, since the embassy has been closed
for decades. U.S. diplomatic relations with Iran were formally severed in April
1980, due to the Iranian hostage crisis, and have never been restored.
Bachmann’s staff later claimed she was “speaking in the hypothetical” when she
said she would close the nonexistent U.S. embassy in Iran. But of course
Bachmann has made many similar errors, such as saying the American founding
fathers ended slavery, when George Washington and Thomas Jefferson owned slaves
all their lives, even when they served as president. When that huge error was
pointed out, rather than admitting that she is clueless about basic American
history, Bachmann insisted that she had meant John Quincy Adams, who neither
ended slavery nor was one of the founding fathers.
Bachmann has further rewritten U.S. history by placing the Revolutionary War
battlefields of Lexington and Concord in New Hampshire, and she has opined
publicly that earthquakes are God's way of getting the attention of American
politicians, that wives should be submissive to their husbands, and that
Democratic presidents are somehow linked to breakouts of swine flu (presumably
God kills American children if their parents vote for Democrats). Unfortunately
for Bachmann, the swine flu epidemic of 1976 was during the presidency of Gerald
Ford, not Jimmy Carter.
As reported by Huffington Post, Bachmann has urged the Pentagon to
"prepare a war plan" in case Iran acquires a nuclear weapon, alleging that Iran
has threatened to launch nuclear warheads at the U.S. and Israel. (PolitiFact
deemed that claim "False" and if it was true, it would have been in the
headlines of every major newspaper.) In other words, Bachmann has a history of
making up crazy "facts" and even using them to justify war.
I want to help clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism. And I
have a communications degree. [Perhaps she should ask for a refund of the
If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of
They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and
opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.
Our opponent is someone who sees America as imperfect.
[Since America is imperfect, this means intelligent
Americans must be our own worst enemy.]
Perhaps so. [When asked if America may need to go to war
with Russia during an ABC News interview, September 11,
2008; please note the 9-11 synchronicity.]
I didn't really had a good answer, as so often—is me. [About writing notes on her hand during her
Tea Party convention speech.]
Only dead fish go with the flow. [On quitting her job as governor of Alaska.]
But obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies. [Palin
sympathizing with other right-wing fanatics,in a radio interview with Glenn Beck.]
''They're in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want
to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy
changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his
classroom.''—Sarah Palin, getting the vice president's
constitutional role wrong after being asked by a third grader what the vice
president does, in an interview with NBC affiliate KUSA in Colorado, Oct. 21, 2008
''I think on a national level your Department of Law
there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been
charged with and automatically throw them out.''—Sarah Palin, explaining how a
nonexistent department would automatically throw out the ethics violation
charges that compelled her to resign as governor of
Alaska, during an ABC News interview, July 7, 2009
''It may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod
along, and appease those who demand: 'Sit down and shut up,' but that's the
worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out.''—Sarah Palin, quitting her job as governor, July 3, 2009
''So we discussed what was going on in Africa. And never, ever did I talk about,
Well, gee, is it a country or is it a continent, I just don't know about this
issue.''—Sarah Palin, asked about the post-election revelation
by McCain staffers that Palin thought Africa was a country, not a continent,
from a Fox
interview with Greta Van Susteren, Nov. 11, 2008
''They're our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here
in Alaska, from an island in Alaska.''—Sarah Palin, on her foreign policy insights into
Russia, which she acquired mysteriously by being able to "see" Russia, in an ABC News interview, Sept. 11, 2008
''Our, our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I
am the executive of.''—Sarah Palin, on her foreign policy experience, in a CBS
interview with Katie Couric, Sept. 25, 2008
''Ohh, good, thank you, yes.''—Sarah Palin, after a notorious Canadian prank
caller complimented her on the documentary about her life, Hustler's "Nailin Palin,"
Nov. 1, 2008
I think this is a very hard choice, but the price: we think the price is worth
During a 60 Minutes episode that aired on May 12, 1996, Lesley Stahl asked Secretary of State Madeleine Albright the following
question about U.S. sanctions against Iraq: "We have heard that a half million children have died. I mean, that's more children than died in
Hiroshima. And, you know, is the price worth it?" Albright replied, "I think this is a very hard choice, but the price: we think the
price is worth it." Please note that even when appearing on a major news show with millions of viewers, Albright made no attempt to deny
the figure given by Stahl—a rough rendering of the preliminary estimate in a 1995 U.N. Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO)
report that 567,000 Iraqi children under the age of five had died as a result of the sanctions. And yet while more than half a million
Iraqi children were dying of starvation, Saddam Hussein was building more palaces. The U.S. later ended up invading Iraq and waging war for
nearly a decade, with generally terrible and still-inconclusive results. Was the price "worth it," really? What if the children
had been American children ... would the price still have been worth it?
Richard M. Nixon
I am not a crook!
George H. W. Bush
Read my lips: No new taxes!
"I will tell you: It's three agencies of government, when I get there, that
are gone: Commerce, Education and the ... what's the third one there? Let's see
... OK. So Commerce, Education and the ... The third agency of government I
would ... I would do away with the Education, the ... Commerce and ... let's see
... I can't. The third one, I can't. Sorry. Oops."—Rick Perry, experiencing an
epic meltdown during a GOP debate, forgetting his plan to abolish the dastardly
Department of Energy.
They [China] have indicated that they're trying to develop nuclear capability
and they want to develop more aircraft carriers like we have. So yes, we have to
consider them a military threat.—Herman Cain, warning that China could develop
nuclear weapons, even though they've them since 1964.
Corporations are people, my friend ... of course they are. Everything
corporations earn ultimately goes to the people. Where do you think it goes?
Whose pockets? Whose pockets? People's pockets. Human beings, my friend."—Mitt
Romney to a heckler at the Iowa State Fair who suggested that taxes should be
raised on corporations as part of balancing the budget
I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed. —Mitt Romney, telling quite a story
(as in a tall tale) to unemployed people in Florida, since his net worth has been
estimated at $200 million and he has a Cayman Island IRA estimated at up
to $101 million, in which it seems he has somehow sheltered nearly half his
wealth from any taxes whatsoever
I'm not concerned about the very poor. —Mitt Romney, seeming to equate the
problems of the very poor with those of the super-rich
I saw my father march with Martin Luther King. —Mitt Romney, bragging about his
family's record on civil rights; Romney later admitted the he didn't see his
father march with King, because his father never marched with the civil rights
leader on the same day in the same city
Rick Santorum's Insanitorium
In a speech he made Ave Maria College in 2008, Santorum dismissed the faith of
Protestants as false, deluded, vain piousness, saying that Satan ("the Father of
Lies") had infiltrated the Protestant religion and that "mainstream, mainline
Protestantism" is now in "shambles" and is "gone from the world of
Christianity." According to Santorum, "Once the colleges fell, and those who
were being educated in our institutions, the next was the church. Now you’d say,
‘Well, wait, the Catholic Church?’ No. We all know that this country was founded
on a Judeo-Christian ethic, but the Judeo-Christian ethic was a Protestant
Judeo-Christian ethic. Sure, the Catholics had some influence, but this was a
Protestant country and the Protestant ethic. Mainstream, mainline
Protestantism. And of course we look at the shape of mainline Protestantism in
this country and it is a shambles. It is gone from the world of Christianity as
I see it. So they attacked mainline Protestantism, they attacked the Church, and
what better way to go after smart people who also believe they’re pious — to use
both vanity and pride to go after the Church."
In an interview with the Associated Press, Rick Santorum opined that mutually
consenting adults do not have a right to privacy in bed, saying, "[The] right to
privacy ... doesn't exist in my opinion in the United States Constitution." He
also compared homosexuality with “man on child” and “man on dog,” causing the
interviewer to say that Santorum was “freaking” her out. He furthermore said, “
... [if] you have the right to consensual [gay] sex ... then you have the right
to ... adultery.” But of course most Americans think their sex lives are their
own business and don’t want the government dictating what they can do in bed.
Santorum wants state governments to legislate the limits of human desires and
passions: "The idea is that the state doesn't have rights to limit individuals'
wants and passions. I disagree with that. I think we absolutely have rights
because there are consequences to letting people live out whatever wants or
passions they desire." He thinks our desires are too dangerous for us to be
trusted with them.
“This [gay marriage] is an issue just like 9-11. We didn’t decide we wanted to
fight the war on terrorism because we wanted to. It was brought to us. And if
not now, when? When the supreme courts in all the other states have succumbed to
the Massachusetts version of the law?” Rick Santorum, comparing legalizing
same-sex marriage to the 9-11 terrorist attacks.
In his Philadelphia Inquirer column, Santorum asked, "Is anyone saying
same-sex couples can't love each other? I love my children. I love my friends,
my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these
relationships marriage, too?" Either Santorum is admitting that he has a "thing"
for his brother and his mother-in-law, or he is admitting that he is a
Santorum wants to ban contraceptives: "One of the things I will talk about, that
no president has talked about before, is ... the dangers of contraception. ...
It's not okay. It's a license to do things in a sexual realm that is [sic]
counter to how things are supposed to be." In other words, Americans should have
sex in the missionary position and breed like rabbits, or give up sex
altogether. But around 99 percent of sexually active American women have used
some form of birth control, and "helping people get access to birth control" is
supported by 82 percent of Americans. Santorum is virtually a cult of one, along
with the aptly named Pope Benedict (who actually held the renamed office of the
Grand Inquisitor before becoming pope).
“The state has a right to do that [outlaw contraceptives], I have never
questioned that the state has a right to do that. It is not a constitutional
right, the state has the right to pass whatever statutes they have. That is the
thing I have said about the activism of the Supreme Court, they are creating
right, and they should be left up to the people to decide.” Rick Santorum,
declaring that states have the right to outlaw all forms of birth control. But
if states can outlaw birth control on Catholic religious grounds, why can't
Christian Scientists outlaw all health care, since they don't believe in it? Why
can't faith healers make it illegal for Americans to seek any kind of of medical care, other than paying them for a laying on of
hands? How can anyone seriously suggest that in the modern world, flaky
religious beliefs should be able to trump reason?
"This [the government making contraceptives available to women by law] is simply
someone trying to impose their values on somebody else, with the arm of the
government doing so. That should offend everybody, people of faith and no faith
that the government could get on a roll that is that aggressive.” But Santorum
has spoken repeatedly about forcing all Americans to obey God's will and God's
laws, as Santorum interprets them. The new Obama healthcare legislation doesn't
force anyone to use contraceptives. But Santorum clearly wants to deny all
American women access to contraceptives, because of his religious beliefs on
contraception, which are not shared by most Americans. So who is trying to
impose his values on whom, really?
"We have Judeo-Christian values that are based on biblical truth. ... And those
truths don't change just because people's attitudes may change." But according
to "biblical truth," fathers should be able to sell their own daughters as sex
slaves, with the option to buy them back if they don't "please" their new
masters [Exodus 21]. From Genesis to Revelation, the Bible is wrong about
slavery. So who's to say that the writers of the Bible weren't also wrong about
“I believe that any doctor that performs an abortion, I would advocate that any
doctor that performs an abortion, should be criminally charged for doing so.”
Rick Santorum, saying that doctors should be arrested if they help women and
girls deal with unwanted pregnancies due to rape and incest, or if they help end
pregnancies that threaten the lives of pregnant women and girls.
"In far too many families with young children, both parents are working ...
Here, we can thank the influence of radical feminism." (from Santorum's book
It Takes a Family: Conservatism and the Common Good). Of course women
working has nothing to do with family values, needing to put bread on the table,
or (gasp!) the desire to do productive things ... only Rick Santorum in his
godly wisdom is able to see that "radical feminism" is the root of all evil,
replacing the love of money.
After the South Carolina primary, Santorum said “Game on! ... Thank God for
those [Americans] who cling to their guns and their Bibles.”
Santorum again: "The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against
Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical ...
What I'm talking about is onward American soldiers. What we're talking about are
core American values." But during the Crusades the Catholic church’s armies
invaded the Middle East and massacred multitudes of Jews and Muslims. How,
exactly, does murdering people of different races and creeds reflect “American
Echoing Newt Gingrich, Santorum recently denied the human rights of millions of
completely innocent Palestinian women and children, saying: “There is no
‘Palestinian.’ ” This is the type of racist “thinking” that led to 9/11 and two
Santorum is not content with unnecessary wars in the Middle East and also wants
to go to war with more than a billion Chinese citizens as well: “I don’t want to
go to a trade war, I want to beat China. I want to go to war with China and make
America the most attractive place in the world to do business.”
During a campaign stop in Iowa, Santorum said, "I don't want to make black
people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money; I want to give them
the opportunity to go out and earn the money." Like Newt Gingrich, he insults
African Americans while pretending to want to help them, by suggesting that poor
black people have a lesser work ethic than other poor people (presumably, poor
Santorum favors torture: "I mean the fact is that some of this information that
we have found out that led to Osama bin Laden actually came from these enhanced
interrogation techniques." But what would he say if non-Christians were torturing
American soldiers, I wonder?
Santorum, sounding every bit as confused as George W. Bush, Sarah Palin and
Michele Bachmann, asked, "Would the potential attraction to Mormonism by simply
having a Mormon in the White House threaten traditional Christianity by leading
more Americans to a church that some Christians believe misleadingly calls
itself Christian, is an active missionary church, and a dangerous cult?" Well,
if having irrational ideas and evangelizing them constitutes a dangerous cult,
Rick Santorum is the likeliest candidate to head such an endeavor.
In an interview with CNS News, Santorum said, "The question is — and this is
what Barack Obama didn't want to answer — is that human life a person under the
Constitution? And Barack Obama says no. Well if that person — human life is not
a person, then — I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, 'We're
going to decide who are people and who are not people.'" Despite the fact that
millions of white Americans are pro-choice, Santorum elects to play the race
card against President Obama.
“I believe the earth gets warmer and I also believe the earth gets cooler. And
I think history points out that it does that and that the idea that man, through
the production of CO2 — which is a trace gas in the atmosphere, and the man-made
part of that trace gas is itself a trace gas — is somehow responsible for
climate change is, I think, just patently absurd when you consider all the other
factors.” Like many conservative Christians, Santorum denies the evidence of
evolution and global warming, which means he threatens the lives of our children
and grandchildren by refusing to confront and deal with facts.
“Suffering, if you’re a Christian, suffering is a part of life. And it’s not a
bad thing, it is an essential thing in life … There are all different ways to
suffer. One way to suffer is through lack of food and shelter and there’s
another way to suffer which is lack of dignity and hope and there’s all sorts of
ways that people suffer and it’s not just tangible, it’s also intangible and we
have to consider both.” Rick Santorum, saying that Americans should suffer
because suffering is good, which is one of the many irrational ideas of Roman
“I support the Ryan budget plan. I think it’s the right direction on the major
points. I can’t say I’ve read all of it, but on the major thrust of what he’s
doing, I support what he wants to do with Medicare, Medicaid. The only thing I
would do, frankly, as I’ve said publicly many times, I think we should implement
a lot of these things sooner than what he’s suggesting.” Rick Santorum,
supporting the Paul Ryan plan to kill Medicare and Medicaid, even though this
would be a death sentence for many elderly and disabled Americans.
“Yeah, remember, under the Bush administration, welfare — I mean, excuse me,
poverty among African Americans and among single unmarried women, poverty was at
the lowest rate ever in the history of this country. So Obama’s policies are not
working, Bush polices worked! For long a time as a matter of fact.” Rick
Santorum, falsely claiming that poverty was the lowest in history because of
Bush policies. In fact, poverty increased during the Bush administration.
It doesn’t matter what I do. People need to hear what I have to say. There’s no
one else who can say what I can say. It doesn’t matter what I live.
I think you can write a psychological profile of me that says I found a way to
immerse my insecurities in a cause large enough to justify whatever I wanted it
The problem isn’t too little money in political campaigns, but not enough.
The idea that a Congressman would be tainted by accepting money from private
industry or private sources is essentially a socialist argument.
Gingrich primary mission: advocate of civilization, definer of civilization,
teacher of the rules of civilization, leader of the civilizing forces.
I'm not a natural leader. I'm too intellectual; I'm too abstract; I think too
much. [Ah, but do you think well, nutty Newt?]
I have enormous personal ambition. I want to shift the entire planet. And I’m
doing it. I am now a famous person. I represent real power. [Or perhaps real
Gingrich dismissed his marital infidelities by turning them into acts of
passionate patriotism: "There's no question at times in my life, partially
driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked too hard and
things happened in my life that were not appropriate." Gingrich had
the first affair while his wife was battling cancer, and the second
while he was hypocritically orchestrating Bill Clinton's impeachment for having an extramarital
affair with Monica Lewinsky.
Gingrich is an unapologetic hypocrite, as he just admitted in the quotes above. How can any presidential candidate say, "It doesn't
matter what I do"? If that was true, Gingrich shouldn't criticize Barack Obama, as nothing he does would matter a hill of beans either.
But of course Gingrich has created a ridiculous double-standard, in which nothing he does matters, but anything anyone else
does matters greatly. So he can claim to be for "family values" while having multiple affairs and dodging child support, then turn
around and castigate Bill Clinton for being unfaithful to his wife. According to realchange.org, "In an amazing act of hypocrisy, Gingrich
was apparently dating [Castilla] Bisek all during Clinton-Lewinsky adultery scandal, even as he proclaimed family values and bitterly
criticized the President for his adultery."
Normally, I would say that the sex lives of politicians should remain private. But when a hypocritical moralist attacks other people for
something he's doing himself, I think we have every right to question his character, especially when he elects to run for high office. And the
shameful way Gingrich treated his own family certainly calls both his character and personal morals into question ...
"The most notorious incident in Gingrich's marriage ... was when he cornered Jackie [his first wife] in her hospital room where she was
recovering from uterine cancer surgery and insisted on discussing the terms of the divorce he was seeking. Shortly after that infamous
encounter, Gingrich refused to pay his alimony and child-support payments. The First Baptist Church in his hometown had to take up a
collection to support the family Gingrich had deserted. Six months after divorcing Jackie, Gingrich married a younger woman ... with whom he
had been having an affair." ("Newt's Glass House" by Stephen Talbot, Salon.com, 8/28/1998)
to be a Christian, but because Jesus Christ reserved his sternest criticism for
hypocrites, how can we take Gingrich, the Ultimate
Pharisee, seriously? If Gandhi had called for everyone else to practice
non-violence, then had gone around beating up people himself, would anyone
consider him a great man of peace? Of course not. We need a president who
practices what he preaches, not one who lectures other people on ethics he has
no intention of applying to himself.
"She isn’t young enough or pretty enough to be the President’s wife. And
besides she has cancer." This is Newt
Gingrich explaining why he dumped his first wife.
Gingrich, who looks like a puffed-up, bloated toad, has no reason to judge
his wife, or any woman, by her age and looks. By his standard, Mitt Romney
should be president because he's younger and better looking than Gingrich.
But then Paris Hilton is even younger and better looking, so why not make her
One of Gingrich's extramarital flames, Anne Manning, said of her
relationship with him during the 1976 campaign: "We had oral sex. He prefers
that modus operandi because then he can say, 'I never slept with her.'"
But of course that was also Bill Clinton's "thinking." It's not my place
or desire to
judge other people's sex lives, but I think Gingrich's hypocrisy is self-evident
and deeply troubling in a presidential candidate. But Gingrich is also afflicted by wild hubris and
erratic thinking that have no place in the White House ...
"Give the park police more ammo." This is
Newt the "intellectual" explaining how to solve the homeless
problem, after police shot and killed a homeless person in front
of the White House.
"I think that we've had an invented Palestinian people who are in fact Arabs and
who were historically part of the Arab community. And they had a chance to go
many places, and for a variety of political reasons, we have sustained this war
against Israel now since the 1940s, and it's tragic."—Newt
Gingrich the "historian" seems to have forgotten the American Declaration of Independence, which
clearly says that all human beings are created equal and that if they are denied equal
rights and representative government they have the duty to resist their
using force if necessary to secure their God-given rights. In his incredible
hubris, Gingrich negates the very basis of American values, by saying that some
people are not really people and thus have no right to resist oppression. That was the
fundamental mistake of the Confederacy and Nazi Germany, both of which chose to
ignore the human rights of millions of people. Now the U.S. constantly risks
World War III because our "ally" Israel refuses to treat the Palestinians like
human beings, while more than a billon Muslims watch their degradation and
brutal treatment with horror.
"It is time we passed a balanced budget amendment and return this government to
This from the man who wants to put a colony on the moon and who resists spending
less money on a far-flung military empire that we don't need, can't afford, and
only gets us in trouble when we try to police the world, especially in the
“If you're not brave, you're not going to be free.”—Newt
Brave words, but why didn't Gingrich have the courage to live on his ample
salary during his days in Washington? Why do politicians like Gingrich ask young
Americans to risk their lives, health and mental well-being in wars they start
on false premises,
when they themselves lack the courage to simply not take bribes and kickbacks?
“If the Soviet empire still existed, I'd be terrified. The fact is, we can
afford a fairly ignorant presidency now.”—Newt
Do tell. We saw the cost of one "fairly ignorant" presidency, that of Bush
Junior. Can we really "afford" an ignorant, bombastic, hypocritical presidency? That's
what we'll undoubtedly see if Gingrich gets elected.
Democrats will bring to the United States "the joys of Soviet-style
brutality and the murder of women and children."—Newt
Oh really? Didn't Democrats like John F. Kennedy do just the opposite and stand up
to the Soviets? How many American Democrats, exactly, are in favor of murdering
women and children? In reality, if any American politicians are endangering the
lives of women and children, it's those Republicans who are working feverishly
to deny women and girls the right to abortions even when they are victims of
rape or incest, and when their lives and health are at risk. Having a baby is
never a walk in the park and can be fatal. Many Republicans ignore the very real
dangers of childbirth and autocratically deny women and girls the right to
decide whether they want to become mothers. This is the sort
of alpha male domination we might expect from the Soviet bloc, but here in the
United States such "thinking" usually originates with right-wing lunatics like Newt
Gingrich and Rick Santorum.
"The mother killing her two children in South Carolina vividly reminds every
American how sick the society is getting and how much we have to have change. I
think people want to change, and the only way you get change is to vote
Only an incredibly insensitive cad could use the deaths of innocent children to
fish for votes.
"There is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its
will on the rest of us."—Newt Gingrich
No, Newt. Gay people and many other Americans who aren't ultra-conservative
Christians like you just want the same rights as everyone else. No heterosexual
is threatened by gay marriage. I'm not going to leave my lovely wife to shack up
with some man, just because it's legal. There is no reason to discriminate
against other people because their taste in food, beverages or sex is different
The meeting between Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev was "the most
dangerous summit for the West since Adolf Hitler met with Chamberlain in 1938."—Newt Gingrich
Gingrich made the comment above in 1985. If he had been the
president then, rather than Reagan, the Cold War would still be in the
deep freeze stage.
"The secular-socialist machine represents as great a threat to America as Nazi
Germany or the Soviet Union once did."
Gingrich made this comment recently, in 2010. But American Democrats are not
doing anything like what then Nazis and Soviets did, when they denied citizens
basic human rights and justice. Rather, in the United States, it is Republicans
like John McCain who keep pushing legislation such as the latest National Defense
Authorization Act, which grants the U.S. military the right to arrest American
citizens without bringing charges and imprison them indefinitely without
hearings or trials, even transferring them to prisons in foreign countries
beyond the purview of American courts and judges who are versed in the
"People like me are what stand between us and Auschwitz."—Newt Gingrich
Hitler once professed to be all that stood between Germany and disaster. But like
many American Republicans, Hitler didn't trust ordinary citizens with basic
rights and freedoms. So we need to be very wary of "protectors" whose
"protection" involves assuming more and more power, until the "supermen" start
squashing us like insects beneath their goose-stepping boot-heels.
"Nazis don't have the right to put up a sign next to the Holocaust Museum in
Washington. There is no reason for us to accept a mosque next to the World Trade
American Muslims had nothing to do with 9-11, so there is no reason to punish
them. The men who attacked us on 9-11 were from Saudi Arabia, not New York City.
What Gingrich proposes is like saying that no Christian from New York should be
allowed to worship in Oklahoma City, because Timothy McVeigh was a Christian
from New York. Of course that makes no sense, because all New York Christians
are not collectively guilty for the Oklahoma City bombing.
“I think one of the great problems we have in the Republican Party is that we
don't encourage you to be nasty. We encourage you to be neat, obedient, loyal
and faithful and all those Boy Scout words.” Newt Gingrich, may I point out that Hitler Youth were taught to be neat, obedient, loyal and
faithful by the Nazis? Do we really want our children to be loyal, obedient
lapdogs, or do we want them to be able to think for themselves?
Famous (or Infamously) Bad Predictions
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."—Popular Mechanics, 1949
"I think there is a world market for maybe five
computers."—Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in
their home."—Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment
Corp., 1977 [DEC was one of the more successful computer companies until it
missed catching the PC wave, then decided to "improve" on the PC by creating
something software-incompatible called the Rainbow, which soon died a quick
death along with DEC's fortunes]
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."—Bill Gates, 1981
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be
seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no
value to us."—Western Union internal memo, 1876
"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial
value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"—David Sarnoff's
associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s
"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"—H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the
way out."—Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."—Lord Kelvin, president, Royal
"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."—Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de
"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high
plateau."—Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929,
shortly before the stock market crash that led to the Great Depression
"Everything that can be invented has been invented."—Charles H. Duell,
Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899
"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction".—Pierre Pachet,
Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872
Politics is a Foot-in-Mouth Disease
"A zebra cannot change its spots."—Al Gore
"During my service in the U.S. Congress, I took the initiative in inventing the
Internet."—Al Gore [the Internet was up and running eight years before Gore was
elected to Congress]
"Desert Storm was a stirring victory for the forces of aggression and
lawlessness."—Vice President Dan Quayle
"It isn't pollution that's harming our
environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."—Dan
"My fellow astronauts..."—Dan Quayle, speaking before the Apollo 11 astronauts
at an anniversary celebration
"If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure."—Dan Quayle.
"I would never approach a small-breasted woman."—President Clinton, denying
that he had sexually harassed Kathleen Willey
High as a Kite (But Not IQ-Wise)
"I now have absolute proof that smoking even one
marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an
H-bomb blast."—Ronald Reagan
"When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I
didn’t like it, and I didn’t inhale, and I never tried again."—Bill Clinton
"When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point."—Barack Obama
"Make the most of the Indian Hemp Seed and sow it everywhere."—George Washington
"Casual drug users should be taken out and shot."—Los Angeles police chief Daryl Gates, telling a senate
judiciary committee that marijuana and cocaine users should be summarily
Reporter: "Did you visit the Parthenon during your trip to Greece?"
Shaquille O'Neal: "I can't really remember the names of
the clubs that we went to."
"It was a mistake. It shows a lack of politeness to kill people when the pope
asks us not to do it."—a Guatemalan government official on the execution of
political prisoners just before the pope's visit
"The similarities between me and my father are different."—Dale Berra, Yogi Berra's son
Sarah Palin, Poet!
''Left Unalakleet warmth
for rain in Juneau tonite.
No drought threat down here,
ever but consistent rain reminds us:
—one of Sarah Palin's Tweets recited by William Shatner as poetry on The
For every fatal shooting,
there were roughly three non-fatal shootings.
And, folks, this is unacceptable in America.
I'm also not very analytical.
You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking
about myself, about why I do things.
How can you possibly have an international agreement
unless countries like China and India are not full participants?
I want you to know.
Karyn is with us.
A West Texas girl, just like me.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.
This is an impressive crowd—the haves and the have-mores.
Some people call you the elite. I call you my base.
I've abandoned free market principles to save the free market system.
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and those are the ones you need
to concentrate on.
There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in
Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me—you can't get
I'm telling you there's an enemy
that would like to attack America,
There just is.
That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best.
I think it was in the Rose Garden
where I issued this brilliant statement:
If I had a magic wand—but the president doesn't have a magic wand. You
just can't say, "low gas."
Should the Iranian regime—do they have the sovereign right
to have civilian nuclear power?
So, like, if I were you,
that's what I'd ask me. And the answer is, yes, they do.
General [Odierno], I want to thank you for your service.
And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of
those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq.
Famous Historical Beauties,
Famous Pool Sharks,
Famous Forgers and Frauds,
Famous Flops and Flubs,
The Dumbest Things Ever Said,
Famous Last Words,