Newt Gingrich Quotes, Epigrams and Poetry
compiled and edited by Michael R. Burch, an editor
and publisher of Holocaust and Nakba poetry
Newt Gingrich has accused Mitt Romney of waffling on important positions, but
Gingrich is an opportunistic career politician who waffles himself at the
drop of a hat, when pandering for votes and campaign contributions. He waffles
even when doing so puts the planet, billions of human beings and trillions of animals at
risk. Recently Gingrich said it's unclear whether man-made global warming is
real. "I believe we don't know," he told Fox News' Sean Hannity,
presumably because that's
what Hannity's audience of right-wing conservatives wants to hear. But in 2008
Gingrich appeared in an ad with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi urging action on
climate change, saying, "We do agree that our country must take action to
address climate change." Earlier in his career, Gingrich co-sponsored a
1989 bill which stated that climate change "resulted from human activities." But
it really doesn't matter whether human beings are responsible for global warming. What
matters is that ice caps and glaciers are melting, that sea levels are
rising, and that human beings must address these
very real problems, regardless of how they originated. Gingrich claims to be an "intellectual" and a "deep
thinker," but his actions belie his incessant bragging. If he was capable of rational
analysis, he would realize that the dinosaurs weren't "responsible" for the
climate change that caused their extinction, and yet they became extinct
nonetheless. And do the quotations below emanate from a man wise enough to lead the
most influential nation on the planet? ...
“It doesn’t matter what I do. People need to hear what I have to say. There’s no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn’t matter
what I live.”—Newt Gingrich, explaining why other people should ignore his
"I think you can write a psychological profile of me that says I found a way to immerse my insecurities in a cause large enough to
justify whatever I wanted it to."—Newt Gingrich, speaking to Gail Sheehy
Newt Gingrich is an unapologetic hypocrite, as he just admitted in the quotes above. How can any presidential candidate say, "It doesn't
matter what I do"? If that was true, Gingrich shouldn't criticize Barack Obama, as nothing he does would matter a hill of beans either.
But of course Gingrich has created a ridiculous double-standard, in which nothing he does matters, but anything anyone else
does matters greatly. So he can claim to be for "family values" while having multiple affairs and dodging child support, then turn
around and castigate Bill Clinton for being unfaithful to his wife. According to realchange.org, "In an amazing act of hypocrisy, Gingrich
was apparently dating [Castilla] Bisek all during Clinton-Lewinsky adultery scandal, even as he proclaimed family values and bitterly
criticized the President for his adultery."
Normally, I would say that the sex lives of politicians should remain private. But when a hypocritical moralist attacks other people for
something he's doing himself, I think we have every right to question his character, especially when he elects to run for high office. And the
shameful way Gingrich treated his own family certainly calls both his character and personal morals into question ...
"The most notorious incident in Gingrich's marriage ... was when he cornered Jackie [his first wife] in her hospital room where she was
recovering from uterine cancer surgery and insisted on discussing the terms of the divorce he was seeking. Shortly after that infamous
encounter, Gingrich refused to pay his alimony and child-support payments. The First Baptist Church in his hometown had to take up a
collection to support the family Gingrich had deserted. Six months after divorcing Jackie, Gingrich married a younger woman ... with whom he
had been having an affair." ("Newt's Glass House" by Stephen Talbot, Salon.com, 8/28/1998)
Gingrich dismissed his infidelities, which at least twice happened while his wives were facing health crises, by turning them into acts of
"There's no question at
times in my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this
country, that I worked too hard and things happened in my life that were not
to be a Christian, but because Jesus Christ reserved his sternest criticism for
hypocrites, how can we take Gingrich, the Ultimate
Pharisee, seriously? If Gandhi had called for everyone else to practice
non-violence, then had gone around mugging people himself, would anyone
consider him a great man of peace? Of course not. We need a president who
practices what he preaches, not one who lectures other people on ethics he has
no intention of applying to himself.
“She isn’t young enough or pretty enough to be the President’s wife. And
besides she has cancer.”—Newt
Gingrich, explaining why he dumped his first wife
Gingrich, who looks like a puffed-up, bloated toad, has no reason to judge
his wife, or any woman, by her age and looks. By his standard, Mitt Romney
should be president because he's younger and better looking than Gingrich.
But then Paris Hilton is even younger and better looking, so why not make her
One of Gingrich's extramarital flames, Anne Manning, said of her
relationship with him during the 1976 campaign: "We had oral sex. He prefers
that modus operandi because then he can say, 'I never slept with her.'"
But of course that was also Bill Clinton's "thinking." It's not my place
or desire to
judge other people's sex lives, but I think Gingrich's hypocrisy is self-evident
and deeply troubling in a presidential candidate. But Gingrich is also afflicted by wild hubris and
erratic thinking that have no place in the White House ...
“Gingrich primary mission: Advocate of civilization, definer of
civilization, teacher of the rules of civilization, leader of the civilizing
This is Gingrich describing himself. He reminds me of Richard Nixon, but while
Nixon was equally creepy, he wasn't nearly as bombastic as Gingrich. How can
anyone call himself the "definer of civilization" and keep a straight face?
Can he really believe the press clippings he creates for himself? Can any sane
person be that deluded?
"I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the
nature of America, by the time they're my age, they will be in a secular atheist
country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists."—Newt
Gingrich brags about being an "intellectual." But anyone with a
brain knows that if radical Islamists dominate a country, it will be neither
secular nor atheist. Like most demagogues and rabble rousers, Gingrich tries to
inspire fear in people, hoping they will be gullible enough to see him as their
protector and savior. No intellectual, Gingrich is
heavy on hype and bombast, and incredibly light on
“I'm not a natural leader. I'm too intellectual; I'm too abstract; I think too
Thinking a lot and thinking well are two very different things. As this page
will amply demonstrate, Newt Gingrich is the antithesis of a good thinker on
many important topics.
“This is one of the great tragedies of the Bush administration. The more
successful they’ve been at intercepting and stopping bad guys, the less proof
there is that we’re in danger…It’s almost like they should every once in a
while have allowed an attack to get through just to remind us.”—Newt
According to Newt-onian "logic," the U.S. government should allow terrorist
attacks to succeed, in order to remind us that we're in danger! A more
reasonable approach would be to ask if the dangers of terrorism may have been
wildly overstated and used to excuse the invasion of Iraq in order to "secure"
Iraqi oil fields during the reign of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, who were
both big-oil men
“Give the park police more ammo.”—Newt
Newt the "intellectual" explaining how to solve the homeless
problem, after police shot and killed a homeless person in front
of the White House.
“I have enormous personal ambition. I want to shift the entire planet. And
I’m doing it. I am now a famous person. I represent real power.”—Newt
Gingrich is such an egomaniac, he actually expects us to be as thrilled with his
ambition, fame and power as he is. He is obviously tone deaf to his own
megalomania and hubris.
Napoleon was infatuated with personal fame and power, as were Hitler and Stalin. But they
were fascists. We obviously do not need another fascist in the halls of
as we have seen what men like Bush, Cheney and Donald
Rumsfeld were able to do, in just a few short years.
“The problem isn’t too little money in political campaigns, but not enough.”—Newt
Yeah, right. This from the man whose Super-PAC is being bankrolled to
the tune of $10 million (and still counting) by Sheldon Adelson, a gambling mogul and
Israeli hardliner who has been lobbying to move the U.S. embassy from Tel Aviv
to Jerusalem. Such an insane move could trigger
World War III, but Gingrich has said this will be his first act if he's elected
president. Gingrich seems to care nothing about the Americans who will die in
future terrorist attacks, or the young men and women who will die in unnecessary
wars in the Middle East, if our country continues to fund and support Israel's
terrible racial injustices. Gingrich claims to be a "historian" and yet ignores the
history of the Palestinian people, who have been suffering under Israel's brutal
system of apartheid, ethnic cleansing and slow genocide for more than half a
century. A real historian would understand that Sitting Bull was not a
"terrorist" but a man whose people had been pushed to the brink of extermination
by white supremacists, and make the simple, obvious connection that Palestinians
face a similar problem today.
And it's ironic that Gingrich has recently been running his campaign from
casinos. Why should we gamble on a loose, erratic canon like Newt Gingrich?
According to the New York Times, his aides "said that he had spent the
past four days hunkered down in the sprawling complex of the Venetian and
Palazzo casinos — owned by his supporter Sheldon Adelson — planning his new way
forward." Adelson is currently under federal investigation, so I think we have
to question the motives and methods of Gingrich's main supporter.
"I think that we've had an invented Palestinian people who are in fact Arabs and
who were historically part of the Arab community. And they had a chance to go
many places, and for a variety of political reasons, we have sustained this war
against Israel now since the 1940s, and it's tragic."—Newt
Gingrich the "historian" seems to have forgotten the American Declaration of Independence, which
clearly says that all human beings are created equal and that if they are denied equal
rights and representative government they have the right and duty to resist their
using force if necessary to secure their inalienable rights. In his incredible
hubris, Gingrich negates the very basis of American values, by saying that some
people are not really people and thus have no right to resist oppression. That was the
fundamental mistake of the Confederacy and Nazi Germany, both of which chose to
ignore the human rights of millions of people. Now the U.S. constantly risks
World War III because our "ally" Israel refuses to treat Palestinians like
human beings, while more than a billon Muslims watch their degradation and
suffering with horror.
“It is time we passed a balanced budget amendment and return this government to
This from the man who wants to put a colony on the moon and who resists spending
less money on a far-flung military empire that we don't need, can't afford, and
only gets us in trouble when we try to police the world, especially in the
“The idea that a Congressman would be tainted by accepting money from private
industry or private sources is essentially a socialist argument.”—Newt
This, coming from a politician who made a career (and millions of dollars) out
of blatant influence peddling, is overt hypocrisy and demagoguery. Of course
Gingrich will quickly damn any of his political opponents who accept tainted
money. Does accusing
them of conflicts of interest or taking bribes automatically make him a
"socialist"? Of course not. But Gingrich doesn't want anyone to pry
into his private affairs, because of all the dirty laundry he's amassed over the
years, so he uses the "socialist" buzzword to protect himself from scrutiny.
“If you're not brave, you're not going to be free.”—Newt
Brave words, but why didn't Gingrich have the courage to live on his ample
salary during his days in Washington, and thus not resort to influence peddling? Why do politicians like Gingrich ask young
Americans to risk their lives, health and mental well-being in wars they start
on false premises,
when they themselves lack the courage to simply not take bribes and kickbacks?
“If the Soviet empire still existed, I'd be terrified. The fact is, we can
afford a fairly ignorant presidency now.”—Newt
Do tell. We saw the cost of one "fairly ignorant" presidency, that of Bush
Junior. Can we really "afford" an ignorant, bombastic, hypocritical presidency? That's
what we'll undoubtedly see if Gingrich gets elected.
Democrats will bring to the United States "the joys of Soviet-style
brutality and the murder of women and children."—Newt
Oh really? Didn't Democrats like John F. Kennedy do just the opposite and stand up
to the Soviets? How many American Democrats, exactly, are in favor of murdering
women and children? In reality, if any American politicians are endangering the
lives of women and children, it's those Republicans who are working feverishly
to deny women and girls the right to abortions even when they are victims of
rape or incest, and when their lives and health are at risk. Having a baby is
never a walk in the park and can be fatal. Many Republicans ignore the very real
dangers of childbirth and autocratically deny women and girls the right to
decide whether they want to become mothers. This is the sort
of alpha male domination we might expect from the Soviet bloc, but here in the
United States such "thinking" usually originates with right-wing lunatics like Newt
Gingrich and Rick Santorum.
"The mother killing her two children in South Carolina vividly reminds every
American how sick the society is getting and how much we have to have change. I
think people want to change, and the only way you get change is to vote
Only an incredibly insensitive cad could use the deaths of innocent children to
fish for votes.
"There is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its
will on the rest of us."—Newt Gingrich
No, Newt. Gay people and many other Americans who aren't ultra-conservative
Christians like you just want the same rights as everyone else. No heterosexual
is threatened by gay marriage. I'm not going to leave my lovely wife to shack up
with some man, just because it's legal. There is no reason to discriminate
against other people because their taste in food, beverages or sex is different
The meeting between Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev was "the most
dangerous summit for the West since Adolf Hitler met with Chamberlain in 1938."—Newt Gingrich
Gingrich made the comment above in 1985. If he had been the
president then, rather than Reagan, the Cold War would still be in the
deep freeze stage.
"The secular-socialist machine represents as great a threat to America as
Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union once did."—Newt Gingrich
Gingrich made this comment recently, in 2010. But American Democrats are not
doing anything like what then Nazis and Soviets did, when they denied citizens
basic human rights and justice. Rather, in the United States, it is Republicans
like John McCain who keep pushing legislation such as the latest National Defense
Authorization Act, which grants the U.S. military the right to arrest American
citizens without bringing charges and imprison them indefinitely without
hearings or trials, even transferring them to prisons in foreign countries
beyond the purview of American courts and judges who are versed in the
"People like me are what stand between us and Auschwitz."—Newt Gingrich
Hitler once professed to be all that stood between Germany and disaster. But like
many American Republicans, Hitler didn't trust ordinary citizens with basic
rights and freedoms. So we need to be very wary of "protectors" whose
"protection" involves assuming more and more power, until the "supermen" start
squashing us like insects beneath their goose-stepping boot-heels.
"Nazis don't have the right to put up a sign next to the Holocaust Museum in
Washington. There is no reason for us to accept a mosque next to the World Trade
American Muslims had nothing to do with 9-11, so there is no reason to punish
them. The men who attacked us on 9-11 were from Saudi Arabia, not New York City.
What Gingrich proposes is like saying that no Christian from New York should be
allowed to worship in Oklahoma City, because Timothy McVeigh was a Christian
from New York. Of course that makes no sense, because all New York Christians
are not collectively guilty for the Oklahoma City bombing.
“I think one of the great problems we have in the Republican Party is that we
don't encourage you to be nasty. We encourage you to be neat, obedient, loyal
and faithful and all those Boy Scout words.”—Newt Gingrich
May I point out that Hitler Youth were taught to be neat, obedient, loyal and
faithful by the Nazis? Do we really want our children to be loyal, obedient
lapdogs, or do we want them to be able to think for themselves?
“We're all human and we all goof. Do things that may be wrong, but do
What Gingrich really means is that when he makes mistakes (or does illegal or immoral
things on purpose), all his sins should be instantaneously forgiven. But of
course he would never accord the same treatment to Barack Obama, or to any other
Democrat. Gingrich's hypocrisy and lack of a sense of justice is always self-evident.
“There seems to be nothing that radical Islamists can do to get Barack
Obama’s attention in a negative way and he is consistently apologizing to people
who do not deserve the apology of the president of the United States period.”—Newt Gingrich
But of course Barack Obama didn't apologize to "radical Islamists." He
apologized to Hamid Karzai, the president of an ally in the war against terror,
when American soldiers destroyed Korans by mistake. That was, of course, the
right thing to do.
"It is an outrage that on the day an Afghan soldier murders two American
troops, President Obama is the one apologizing."—Newt Gingrich
But President Obama’s apology was made hours before the US troops were killed.
The truth seems to mean little or nothing to the Great Newt.
Newt Gingrich Poetry
Newt Gingrich sounds like the name of a too-preposterous-to-be-true villain in a
Charles Dickens novel or a Dr. Seuss children's book. And Gingrich makes even
the pre-repentance Ebenezer Scrooge seem like an angel of light, since Scrooge
was at least honest and didn't pretend to be trying to "help" the poor people he
disdained. The name Gingrich sounds like a rich Grinch, but at least the Grinch
was honest and didn't pretend to be trying to "help" the people of Whoville.
Newt, the Rich Grinch
by Michael R. Burch
Newt, the Rich Grinch,
told all the poor whos:
"dark serfs, grab your buckets!
swab hard! pay your dues!
while I and my Cronies
whose s**t never stank
and laugh to the Bank.
Newt Gingrich loves to give poor people lectures and sermons about developing
a better "work ethic." But according to the New York Times, Gingrich received
38.6 million dollars in "consulting" fees from Freddie Mac and various health
care companies. Unless he can explain clearly what he did to earn such
extravagant sums of money, the American public has every right to believe he
was up to his old tricks: peddling influence for what basically amounts to
the ballad of Newt Gingrich
by Michael R. Burch
let those dark tiny tims push and pull heavy mops
while I and my Patrons spin slogans like tops,
lauding american “except-shun-ill-Ism”
while We laugh to the Bank with Huge Bribes, dripping Jism,
the Morality Police of dull peasants like you
but immune to all laws, since We decide what is True!
by “winning the future” We mean that We’ll win
while padding Our Wallets with the Wages of sin,
so never examine Our actions, or Profits —
just obey Us: your Lords, Overseers and Prophets!
The Viceman cometh
by Michael R. Burch
If Newt Gingrich is going to have any chance of being the last man standing
in the Republican presidential primaries, he will have to win southern states,
so Tennesseans should soon be subjected to the Newt-onian physics of bombast,
hypocrisy and utter disregard for reality.
Gingrich sounds like the name of a villain in a Charles Dickens novel. He
compares poorly with Ebenezer Scrooge, who was at least honest about his disdain
for the poor and didn’t pretend to be trying to “help” them while getting rich
at their expense.
But I doubt that even Dickens could have conceived of a character like
Gingrich, a hypocritical egoist who criticizes the “work ethic” of poor
darker-skinned children, then imperiously commands them to push industrial-sized
mops without pay, while he and his rich cronies line up to “earn” millions via
blatant influence-peddling. How can someone who was ejected from Congress and
fined $300,000 for multiple ethics violations lecture poverty-stricken children?
And of course that fine was just a drop in the bucket to a man who, according to
the New York Times, earned at least 38.6 million dollars for “consulting” work
he did for Freddie Mac and various healthcare companies. Unless Gingrich
discloses just what he did to earn such extravagant sums of money, Americans
have every right to be suspicious, knowing his track record.
Gingrich’s flagrant hypocrisy was also self-evident when he tried to impeach
Bill Clinton for having an extramarital affair while he was doing the same thing
himself. Why do “family values” only apply to other people, in the endlessly
strange world of conservative Christian morality?
Fly me to the moon! Gingrich claims to be a “big idea” man, but his big
ideas are often erratic to the point of being completely contradictory. For
instance, he claims to be a fiscal conservative, but he wants to build a colony
on the moon, which would surely cost trillions of dollars. He also seems to be
opposed to reducing our military budget, calling plans to sequester $600 billion
from the defense budget “totally destructive” and “very dangerous to the
survival of the country.” But hawks like Gingrich never mention the fact that our navy is
larger than next 13 largest navies in the world combined, or that the
second-largest air force in the world is our Navy’s. As Ron Paul has correctly
pointed out, we have a huge, far-flung military empire that we don’t need and
can’t afford, and which only makes us less secure when alpha males like George
W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld seize opportunities to “advance
American interests” with guns, bombs, cruise missiles and robotic drones. A U.S.
colony on the moon would no doubt result in an even more Terminator-like world
for our children and escalate the arms race toward human self-annihilation.
Gingrich claims to stand for "American exceptionalism vs. the radicalism of
Saul Alinsky." But by “American exceptionalism” he seems to mean disdain for
anyone who is poor and non-white, favoritism for rich white men like himself,
false morality and a hyper-aggressive foreign policy. None of those things
benefit the 99%, so it’s hard for me to see Gingrich as anything but a lackey
for the 1% who butter his bread. He strikes me as a man who will say or do
nearly anything to achieve his personal goals of wealth, power and ego
The only large group of people potentially dumb enough (or deluded enough) to
help him gain the presidency are southern conservatives for whom faith trumps
facts and reason. As a recent New York Times editorial pointed out, “Newt
Gingrich’s victory in South Carolina turned on an almost comically broad
deception, an inversion of the truth in which the insider whose personal wealth
and political experience are entirely creations of Washington becomes the
anti-establishment candidate. That it worked speaks poorly of voters who let
themselves be manipulated by the lowest form of campaigning, appealing to their
anger and prejudices.”
Gingrich operates by the coda: “Do as I say, not as I do myself.” For
instance, he blasted Mitt Romney for having investments in Freddie Mac and
Fannie Mae. But Romney’s research team quickly determined that Gingrich had
publicly disclosed the same holdings. When Romney revealed that the would-be
emperor was both clothes-less and cluelessly hypocritical, Gingrich’s campaign
went into yet another tailspin. It takes irrational voters to elect erratic
leaders, so Mr. Gingrich’s only remaining hope is probably to sweep the Bible
More Gingrich Quotes
Describing Medicare—“Now, we don’t get rid of it in round one because we don’t
think that that’s politically smart, and we don’t think that’s the right way to
go through a transition. But we believe it’s going to wither on the vine because
we think people are voluntarily going to leave it, voluntarily.”
“It is tragic what we do in the poorest neighborhoods, entrapping children in
child laws which are truly stupid … These schools should get rid of unionized
janitors, have one master janitor, pay local students to take care of the
“We should replace bilingual education with immersion in English so people learn
the common language of the country and they learn the language of prosperity,
not the language of living in a ghetto.”
“These people [Democrats] are sick. They are so consumed by their own power, by
a Mussolini-like ego, that their willingness to run over normal human beings and
to destroy honest institutions is unending.”
Newt Gingrich has said outrageous things in his time, and he is
obviously proud of his bombast. Early in his congressional career, he said he would "define" his
political opponents "out of existence," and as speaker of the House in 1996, he
distributed a memo titled "Language: A Key Mechanism of Control," in which he
urged Republicans to tag their opponents with words like "traitor," "corrupt"
"What if he [Obama] is so outside our comprehension, that only if you understand
Kenyan, anti-colonial behavior, can you begin to piece together [his actions]?"
What if Newt Gingrich is so outside of our comprehension, that only if we
understand his megalomania and desire for votes and campaign contributions, can
we begin to piece together his actions?