The HyperTexts

The Samson Option: Israel's Zero Sum Game

What the hell is the Samson Option? Well, it sounds like the plot of yet another apocalyptic Hollywood movie: a group of fanatical terrorists have gained control of hundreds of nuclear weapons and will use them to blow up the world if they "can't get their own way." (Well, actually the plot seems awfully weak, since the bad guys sound more like petulant teenagers than world conquerors. But then again, as the ubiquitous "they" have been said to say, sometimes fact is stranger than fiction.)

In this case, the catch is that the fanatical terrorists are actually running the state of Israel and the nuclear weapons are, alas, all too real and far too numerous. If the Deep Throats who blabbed on the brainiacs of Israel by revealing the Samson Option are correct, their nefarious plan goes something like this: "If we, the Grand Wizards, er, democratically elected leaders of Israel, are not allowed to steal land we really don't need, while abusing innocent Palestinian women and children and stripping them of their human rights and dignity, we'll just blow the whole fucking world to smithereens! Nanny-nanny-boo-boo!"

I know. I know. It sounds too fucking insane to be true. But then again, insanity seems to reign in the Middle East these days. What's even more insane, if that's possible, is that our government has poured hundreds of billions of tax dollars and advanced weapons into Israel, making Armageddon possible, while calling Palestinian farm families living on the margins of existence "terrorists." It seems the only people more insane than Israel's leaders are ... our own. How did a tiny nation like Israel, with a relatively miniscule population, come to possess the fourth most powerful military on the planet, after those of the U.S., Russia and China? Well, gulp, duh, we paid for it.

With so much firepower provided at the expense of American taxpayers, why the hell does Israel need hundreds of nuclear weapons? Can it be that if Israel is so much as threatened with having to behave civilly, its government intends to threaten the world with nuclear blackmail?

If we recognize and properly appreciate the fear and paranoia running rampant in certain Jewish circles, the Samson Option suddenly doesn't seem so far-fetched. Suppose for a moment that you and I had kicked sand in the face of certain ninety pound weaklings, only to discover their friends included Osama bin Laden, Al Qaeda, Islamic Jihad, Hezbollah and Hamas ... well ... we just might start circling the wagons too. When Israeli Jews decided to either subjugate or expel Palestinians, circa 1948, then drove hundreds of thousands of Palestinian farmers and their families from their ancestral land, they didn't plan for the eventuality of a billion Muslims uniting and saying, "Hey, those are our brothers and sisters you're fucking with!" Now, rather than admitting they miscalculated, and giving the Palestinians the land they need to rebuild their shattered lives, it seems Israelis may be playing a zero sum game, with the world as the booby prize.

I emphasize the word "may." I don't pretend to understand the minds of men like Ariel Sharon and Benyamin "Bibi" Netanyahu. How do men with more land and power than they know what to do with decide they must have more, at the expense of the human rights, dignity and wellbeing of innocents? Well, Andrew Jackson forced my Cherokee ancestors to walk the Trail of Tears. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson lived in mansions and spoke glowingly of the "self evident" human rights of all men ... while owning slaves until the day they died. Jefferson even raised his children by Sally Hemmings as slaves in his own house. Anything, it seems, is possible, because the lunacy of power-mad men knows no earthly bounds (unless of course, we impose them).

Fortunately, there is something we can do about the situation in Israel/Palestine today, if only we act before the final curtain falls. But first let's take a closer look: is there a method to any of this surreal madness?

I first heard about the Samson Option in an unusual, "off the beaten path," way. Way, way off the beaten path. Please allow me to explain ...

After agreeing to do a radio show about equal human rights for Palestinians, I had asked about the location of the radio station several times and had received only noncommittal replies, which struck me as mildly odd at the time, but then I'm the trusting sort. Finally the woman who hosted the program (I'll keep her name confidential; better safe than sorry) asked me to meet her at her house well before the show. I assumed this was so we could go over the questions I'd be asked, but it turned out there was an entirely different reason: the radio station was some sort of underground affair, and I never would have been able to find it without a "navigator." Even with her assistance, finding the station was like finding a needle in a haystack (emphasis on "haystack," as in "excessively rural").

(I must admit my naïveté: I had no clue what I was getting into. My only prior experience with the American Underground, if that's what it's called, was at a peace rally where various superannuated flower children and pallid "anarchists" had shaken my hand with hands so limp I was afraid they might atrophy completely before I unclasped them, which out of concern for my being the proverbial bull in a china shop, I did with all due haste. The thing I remember most vividly about the meeting was being chastised (albeit mildly) for wearing the colors red, white and blue at the same time. It seems such things are not done in anarchist circles, although the anarchists were surprisingly meek and unfailingly polite in expressing their tepid distaste for anything smacking of patriotism. I had arrived with the misguided notion that we were all Americans intent on making America a better, safer, more just place to live. But that was merely a pipe dream on my part. Anarchists brook no such jingoistic nonsense. They demand the immediate demise of civilization as we know it, in between sips of lukewarm tea and woebegone hangdog expressions of general disfavor. I believe I attack hotdogs with considerably more relish than they show for their primary occupation, but be that as it may, it was obvious that they would end my world before I helped mend theirs, if only the universe would cease to exist on its own. But I digress . . .

When we finally reached the station, after crossing who-knows-how-many boondocks dirt roads, I was in for a shock. The people running the radio station seemed to know what they were doing, but they were obviously operating clandestinely on a shoestring budget. The "station" was run out of a "control room" half the size of the phone booth Clark Kent used to squeeze into, to change into his Superman duds. I could barely accordionize my six-foot-two, two-hundred-twenty pounds into the requisite position of "interviewee." The microphone summarily thrust into my face found me uncomfortably contorted over it, like a hunchback, because there was only a nanometer between my hindquarters and the back wall. I consoled myself with the thought that Palestinian children were suffering far more than I was, but even so I was no happy camper.

The interview went reasonably well, all things considered, although the host waved her finger at me furiously—No! No! No! What are you thinking?—when I said the Obama administration had done the right thing by requiring Israel to end the "natural growth" of its colonies in the West Bank. Words like "good" are obviously not used in conjunction with governments, however liberal, in anarchistic circles.

In any case, when the interview was over, the host mentioned that the station manager had heard about an Israeli plot to blackmail the world, called the Samson Option. We then chatted amiably for a minute or two about various ways the earth was certain to be destroyed, but it was getting late and it seems even anarchists require their beauty sleep, so it was soon time for us to make our way stealthily back to whatever remained of a civilization so worthless it hardly merited saving. Once I had made it back home alive and had removed my blindfold (just kidding!), I googled "Samson Option" and found its Wikipedia article (which is, of course, not to say that my worst fears had been confirmed, exactly).

Samson was the Jewish "judge" who consorted with Palestinian (then called Philistine) prostitutes, while regularly slaughtering Palestinian men. This of course made him the greatest of all Jewish heroes. (Well, at least until Ariel Sharon and Bibi "rhymes with fibby" Netanyahu appeared on the scene.) Samson's greatest "victory" occurred when he committed Hari Kari by "bringing down the house" on himself and thousands of Philistines. So the name "Samson Option" makes sense, if there is a plan for Israel to destroy its enemies (the rest of the known world) if it isn't allowed to steal land it doesn't need while oppressing Palestinians to its heart's content.

If I had to take the word of the American Underground (if that's what it's called), I would be more than a little skeptical. But I do have confirmation, of a sort, that makes me wonder. The best book I've read on the recent history of the Middle East is The Great War for Civilisation, by Robert Fisk. Fisk is a well-respected journalist who's known for pointing out the warts of the players on all sides: Israeli politicians, Palestinian politicians, Arab politicians, American politicians, et al. When I read other writers, I often suspect they have agendas. But Fisk strikes me as a straight shooter who reports the insanity and carnage he sees without succumbing to the various party lines. As I read his book, quite some time before I heard about the Samson Option, something he said gave me pause, because he mentioned that high-ranking American diplomats like Madeline Albright and Colin Powell at times acted deferentially, even fearfully, around Israeli politicians. That struck me as very odd. Why would senior diplomats of the world's greatest superpower, a nation that bestows billions of dollars in financial aid and advanced weapons on Israel each year, act deferentially and fearfully around Israelis?

I was able to come up with only two possible explanations: either Israelis have "dirt" on our highest elected officials and have threatened to "come clean" unless they get their nefarious way, or they're playing their "hole card" (nukes). If my friends the superannuated flower children and pallid anarchists have read the shifting winds correctly, the rat they smell may spell the end of the world as we know it.

As I mentioned before, there is a way to save the world, if only we act soon enough. While Israel is hardly a "democracy" (true democracies don't allow machinegun-toting soldiers to spit on and curse minority schoolchildren, while invading colonialists demolish their parents' homes on the flimsiest of pretexts), Israel is just enough of a democracy for its citizens to vote out the fanatics and vote in new leaders amenable to peace. How can the world encourage Israel to abandon its teenagerish petulance and act with a degree of civility? The answer is exceedingly simple: we can have a new UN resolution based on the American creed of equal rights, fair laws and fair courts for all human beings. How can the Obama administration veto the American Creed? So someone should propose a new UN resolution calling for Israel to unconditionally grant the Palestinians their self-evident rights to fair laws and fair courts. Of course the term "fair" must be defined, but suffice it to say that blatantly racist laws and courts are not "fair." The courts should be subject to peer review by judges appointed by the UN and must be able to set legal precedents. If Israel complies, then peace through justice becomes possible, and the Samson Option will not be needed. If Israel refuses to comply, the UN can impose economic sanctions, which will compel Israeli citizens to "vote their pocketbooks" (a worldwide democratic phenomenon) and elect sane leaders.

Well, there it is: I just told you how to save the world. Will you heed my good advice? Probably not. Who ever takes good advice to heart, much less actually follows it? But if not, at least my friends the anarchists will soon see their fondest dream realized.

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