The HyperTexts

Dorothy Parker



Dorothy Parker (August 22, 1893–June 7, 1967) was an American poet and writer known for her wit, wisecracks, epigrams, short pithy poems and spoonerisms. Parker won acclaim for her literary feats in The New Yorker and later for her Hollywood screenwriting. After she earned two Academy Award nominations, her involvement in alleged left-wing politics led to her being blacklisted. Parker was sometimes dismissive of her own talents and deplored her reputation as a "wisecracker," but today she has achieved a stature similar to that of famous wits like Oscar Wilde and Ogden Nash.

A Very Short Song

Once, when I was young and true,
Someone left me sad―
Broke my brittle heart in two;
And that is very bad.

Love is for unlucky folk,
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke;
And that, I think, is worse.

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me
than a frontal lobotomy.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide,
If cool my heart and high my head
I think "How lucky are the dead."

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.

I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant―and let the air out of the tires.

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B. [Speaking of Katharine Hepburn]

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